If you could take every single Topless Robot reader, figure out who had nightmares last night, and then somehow combine all those nightmares and measure them in terms of sheer terror, there’s no way you would possibly match the horror of this — the (SFW) Simpsons porno trailer.
I’d tell you to just go back to bed, but there’s no way images of those yellow bastards wouldn’t follow you, rendering you unable to sleep. Obviously, the only solution is to start drinking, heavily, first thing in the morning. I’m having a 6-whiskey shot breakfast, and I’m thinking about gin for brunch. You?
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.