Blu-ray, Cartoons, Movies

DVD Day: May 3rd, 2011

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?? The Green Hornet
General reports indicate this movie was pretty fun but also pretty forgettable. Basically, the perfect movie to watch on Netflix and not pay for. Which I’m going to do.

? Being Human: Season 3
Oh shit! I still have the last three episodes on my DVR, and I haven’t finished them! Any of you knuckleknobs spoil shit for me in the comments and I will… will… be very upset. Anyways, if you’re a BH fan, enjoy this set because it’s all you’re getting for a while as Mitchell the vampire goes off to play a dwarf in The Hobbit. (That still blows my mind.)

? From Dusk Til Dawn
On Blu-ray. I hate this movie. I find it totally unpleasant. Of course, I find Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas totally unpleasant, but I love that movie. I’m a complicated dude.

? The Super Hero Squad Show: Quest for the Infinity Sword Vol. 4
Jesus christ, are these guys still looking for that damn sword? Is this shit being written by Bendis or something?

? Ninjas Vs. Vampires
Note: No Japanese people appear to star or have worked on this ninja movie. You have been warned.

? Kung Fu Dunk
Shaolin Soccer but with basketball, I believe, and starring Kato from the Green Hornet movie above.

? Bonnie & Clyde Vs. Dracula
Pffft. Call me when Bonnie and Clyde fight ninjas.

? Star Trek: The Next Generation An XXX Parody
Yes, the hardcore pornography (out on May 5th, apparently). The ever-so-NSFW trailer is here. What I like about the trailer is that it actually looks like a pretty good, pretty serious ST:TNG fan movie (with solid effects and a plot that could easily have been on the actual show, I think) and then there’s just 30 straight seconds of hardcore fucking thrown right in the middle of it. No context, no scenes of any even appearing to think about sex before or after. It’s like they made the SFW trailer, had about two minutes to make the NSFW one, and just inserted a few fuck clips right in the middle. This makes me giggle. You know what else makes me giggle? That many, many Star Trek fans are going to find this pornography to be a more authentic Trek flick than J.J. Abrams’ movie.

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.