Ewok Arrested After Exposing His Yub Nub in Public to Underage Girl

chief chirpa would not approve.jpg

?From This Is Staffordshire:

A Harry Potter and Star Wars actor has been convicted by a jury of
indecently exposing himself to a teenage schoolgirl on a train.

Nicholas Read, a celebrity dwarf who has appeared in a number of
fantasy movie roles, touched himself in a lewd manner under a juggler’s
hat on his lap.

The 40-year-old entertainer tilted the black bowler-style hat so only the 17-year-old victim sat next to him could see what he was doing.

Read, of Wade Close, Cheadle, denied exposure, saying nothing
untoward occurred on the 55-minute journey from London to Leicester, on
October 16 last year.

A jury unanimously convicted him at Leicester Crown Court yesterday.

Recorder Richard Bond said: “It was deliberate and persistent and
I saw how distressed the victim was as she had to re-live what the
defendant did.

“The aggravating feature is his 2004 previous conviction for
indecent assault. It’s either a short-term in custody or a suspended
sentence with a requirement for treatment for his problem, which is his
desire to do terrible things to girls.”

Read will now have to enlist on a sex offender register. …

Read was arrested on arrival at Sheffield and denied any
wrongdoing. He said he was listening to his iPod on the journey with his
hands either on top of his hat, or underneath it, and nothing remotely
sexual happened.

He said he was “merry” after drinking half a bottle of gin earlier that day, while judging a croquet competition.

… Read has been in the entertainment industry since childhood. He
was a Gringotts goblin in the 2000 film Harry Potter And The
Philosopher’s Stone, and an Ewok Warrior in the 1982 Star Wars: Return
of the Jedi.

The jury was told he had a previous conviction for indecent assault in 2004 when, after a party
with a Snow White panto cast, he “flaked out” on the stage manager’s
sofa. He later drunkenly climbed into bed with the sleeping stage
manager and his girlfriend, and put the woman’s hand on to his genitals.

Thanks to Mike P. for the tip. Yub nub, everybody! [UPDATE: Hey — I obviously took out my commentary. As I just said in the comments, as humorous as one aspect of the article is, obviously the other aspect
is horrible, and putting in joke commentary was in very bad taste. My apologies to anyone who was offended.
Seriously. –Rob]