? Okay. First up is a spot focused on Thor, which I’m putting up top because it contains the most new footage, although still not enough to make me feel like I’m seeing too much of the movie. Also, it contains Thor giving Cap and Iron Man shit, which, frankly, is fantastic. Two other things of note: 1) I still get unreasonably excited whenever I see a new scene of two Avengers interacting with each other, like when Thor asks Cap if he’s ready for another bout. Seriously, I tingle. 2) I fully expect someone to re-edit this spot so that “THROW DOWN” and “THE HAMMER” are replaced with “THE HAMMER” and “IS HIS PENIS” within 48 hours. Anyone want to take that bet?
The other TV spot, as well as the Safe For Work porn parody trailer, are after the jump. (Via CBR Spinoff)
? This spot has a tiny, tiny bit of new footage and dialogue. Look, I know you just want to get to the porn, so go ahead.
? While I appreciate Axel Braun reaching past the movie into the comics for his porn parody, getting to see Spider-Woman, Ms. Marvel and Scarlet Witch have sex does not make up for casting Chyna as She-Hulk. That’s fucked up. One’s a terrifying, over-muscled behemoth with breasts, and the other’s She-Hulk. Also: Why the fuck is Spider-Man in this, but not Captain America? I’m not actually upset, I’m just curious. I feel like some poor porn production assistant must have rented the wrong costume on the weekend they shot this thing. Thanks to The Chu for the tip.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.