Nerdery, TV

Fan Fiction Friday: Seven of Nine in “The Breast Queen”

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How do you feel about breasts? Pretty good, right? Everybody loves breasts. Men, women, children, animals, puppets, everybody. And yet, some people can take their love too far. Count an author whose name I believe is “WeirdFetish” as one of those people, as evidenced in his story “The Breast Queen,” starring Star Trek Voyager‘s Seven of Nine as played by Jeri Ryan, and sent to me by Topless Roboteer Ryan.

Janeway had ordered Seven to her office and was chastising her for the “conduct” on the bridge
“Seven…….” as Janeway struggled to find the right words
“Yes Captain?” Seven replied. Janeway notice the Borg’s breasts were protruding outward and almost touched her lap. Quickly she blushed as she realized during her pause she had end up staring agape at them.
“Seven there’s no way to sugar this up, but…… well……your breasts are huge and everyday they seem to be getting larger!”
WeirdFetish also made the pic you see above to help illustrate his epic tale of tittery, which continues after the jump. It’s not the most perverse FFF I’ve ever run, not by a longshot, but it is really fucking stupid. Nipple nipple tweak tweak fly!

“Captain, I have no idea of what you are talking about….” Seven said with careful precision. She could not let the captain know of her self-induced BE’s. 
“BE” — here used inappropriately with an apostrophe s to denote a plurality — means “Breast Expansion,” if you were wondering. Call me crazy, but when you abbreviate your own stupid fetish you run the risk of losing mainstream readers like ourselves. For example, “He was going about his normal PBR” doesn’t have the same “oomph” as “He was going about his normal pedobeastiality-rape.”
For every month she would expand her breasts by half a cup size and relish in the new sensitivity gained. It was a relatively new thing she discovered when experimenting with her nano-probes. 
But unlike the other products of her experimentation, this was something she injected herself with every month. She savored her expansion but took it slow as to not arouse suspicion.
So she completely failed in this, is what you’re saying.
It was an odd fetish for a woman to have, possibly mutated from the Borg’s indoctrination to expand, but this did not bother Seven one bit. 
There’s such a short, quick line from “ASSIMILATE” to “TITILATE.” 
She enjoyed how sexy she felt, especially since the BE increased her already ample figure. Her butt was already swaying with added jiggle and her boobs were threatening to rip out of their feeble constraints.
“My t…I mean, mammary glands have been the same size as when I first joined voyager” Seven explained. 
…obviously lying directly to Janeway’s face.
“No I am pretty sure…..” the captain started but was quickly cut off by Seven as she decided to take a little bit more aggressive course as she pushed her FF cups into Janeway and thus into the wall.
“Okay, your tits just literally pinned me to the wall. Stop making them bigger, you freak.”
“You’re just tired and seeing things. You should take a rest” Seven replied, almost lavisciously but yet commanding to Janeway. Janeway subconsciusly felt inferior to Seven and much more submissive upon gazing up such huge knockers.
ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTITS
“Erm….Right” as the captain meekly slipped away as Seven released her from her “booby trap”. Seven walked out Janeway’s office into the hallway. 
Watching the door close behind her, Seven experienced a feeling of satisfaction.
And lower back-pain.
Soon after joining the crew, she had realized that the other women aboard Voyager were intimidated by her beauty, and she had quickly theorized that their feelings of inferiority would make them incline to submit to her.
Of course. This is why the woman with the biggest tits has always been elected president of the United States for the last 125 years.
It was therefore extremely gratifying to see Captain Janeway, the strongest woman aboard the ship, meekly submitted to her, thereby proving her theory. 
Maybe she’s just uncomfortable that YOU WERE TRYING TO SMOTHER HER TO DEATH WITH YOUR TITS.
Of course, this was only a minor incident. She had no doubt that, should a serious confrontation occur, the Captain would not submit to her. Not yet, that is. Seven theorized that when her breasts reached three times their present size, the Captain, and every other woman aboard Voyager, would be intimdated into total submission.

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On that day, she would reveal that she had long ago completely enthralled Voyager’s male crew, and assume total control over the vessel.
She allowed herself a rare smile at the thought
But not a period to end her sentence, as that would have been unseemly.
“Before I start my expansion, I must first find a willing second-in-command..” Seven thought. Despite her newfound breasts consitently arousing her, Seven knew that in order for her to take over, she would have to get an agent to carry out her tasks, since Seven herself would be rendered immobile by her bust. 
If she really wanted to control everybody on Voyager wouldn’t it be easier to just, you know, Borgify them? At least then she could still walk around afterwards.
Her tits, by her estimates, would weigh at least 100 pounds each and be 5 feet in diameter making it close to impossible to move let alone move through a doorway. 
“It’s amazing it took so long for me to think this plan up — it just makes so much sense!”
“Not that transitions through a doorway are easy now”, Seven noted, as bust took up almost the entire width of the hallway. None of that mattered though as she continued he sexually enthralling stride toward her first follower.
Yes, nothing is quite as sexy as a robot with encephalitis of the tits trying to maneuver through a doorway.
Pretty soon she was at the doorway and she said in her normal Borg Tone “B’Elanna, are you present within the room?”
“I honestly can’t see anything past my breasts any more.”
B’Elanna opened the door to meet Seven. Or rather, she met Seven’s Bust.
And facecards are wild! Somebody deal.
Seven charged through the door, using her superior borg strength and humoungous knockers to pin the klingon to the wall. 
As the door closed behind them, B’Elanna who was both shocked and a little aroused tried to speak but her voice was muffled by Seven’s breasts.
Motorboat ’em! Motorboat ’em for your life, B’Elanna!
“Be silent B’Elanna” Seven commanded pushing herself even harder into B’Elanna. B’Elanna realized that she was no longer protesting Seven’s Pinning.
I imagine death by boobs is a pretty dishonorable way
for a Klingon to die.
“This is crazy, why……why can’t I work myself up to say anything” B’Elanna raved to herself but remained meek.
“Maybe it’s because she has a tit the size of a basketball shoved against my face. Yeah, I guess that’s it.”
“B’Elanna I’ve noticed that you’ve been staring at my mammary glands for the past months…….I’ve also noticed that you wish for yours to be like mine” Seven said using her logic and abilities to completely uncover what the klingon had tried to hide. B’Elanna’s eyes widened as she realized all that Seven said was true.
YES. THIS IS COMPLETELY LOGICAL.
“Do not worry….you are about to get your wishes fuffiled AND become a BIG part of what I have planned…” 
“And when I say BIG, I mean your BREASTS! Ha ha ha! Sorry, just a little insane tit-obsessed Borg humor.”
In desperation, B’Elanna did something she had nver done before. She fondled another woman’s chest.
You know how some scientists say that if we ever meet aliens, they’ll likely be so different — have different ways of communicating, of seeing the world, of even thinking — that it will be fundamentally impossible to understand them? This is how I feel about the guy who wrote this story.
Seven gave a little moan of pleasure as B’Elanna grabbed at ther blonde women’s tit-flesh in a feeble attempt at escape.
“Still, have some fight in, you, hmm?” Seven said, as she pressed in further, almost smothering the half-klingon woman with her massive mounds of mammary. “We’ll deal with that. Surrender, B’Elanna, and you will be rewarded. Resistance is futile.”
And the rest of the Borg sued for Seven of Nine using their trademark catchphrase for her stupid tit-mutiny.
All the fight went out of B’Elanna, and she slumped in defeat. “Yes, Mistress,” she said.
“You will address me as ‘My Queen’, ‘Queen Seven’, or ‘Your Bustiness’, B’Elanna,” said Seven.

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“Yes, My Queen.”
“I know I’ve just been cowed into submission by your breasts, but I still have just enough of a shred of dignity to refuse to call you ‘Your Bustiness.'”
Seven smiled again, and moved away. B’Elanna almost fell to the floor, now that she was released.
“Take off your shirt, B’Elanna,” Seven commanded.
B’Elanna was ashamed to expose her comparitively meager assets to her new Queen, but hse obeyed. “As you command, Queen Seven.”
B’Elanna gave a squeak of pain as Seven injected her breasts with nanoprobes, then moaned in pleasure as they swelled to a size that, while still far smaller than Seven’s ponderous pillows, was far more impressive than they had been.
“It is time my slave to help your Breast Queen restore purpose on this ship” Seven said with complete confidence as B’Elanna knealed feeling both grateful and inferior to the insanely curvy blonde before her. 
“And when I say purpose, I mean that instead of trying to get back to a civilized star system we’re just going to sit around and watch our breasts grow all day. IT IS THE LOGICAL THING TO DO.”
Seven went on to explain her revelation. Her lust for expansion had opened her eyes and saw that all females needed what she was capable of. And Seven had to lead them into new huge busted society based on the most important principle in her mind “breast expansion”. 
A civilization where no woman could ever leave the room she was in, because her tits were so freakishly large! 
All status will be based solely on breast size and all law will be determined by the most large busted, the queen, Seven of Nine. The males would also bow down to her but she would send leave them on a small planet so as not to intefer with their female form of life.
Wait. Does that mean the women with the largest tits can do anything to anyone with smaller tits? Like, even murder them? Goddammit, I don’t care if you like breasts the size of Volkswagens or not, that is completely fucked.
“That is the way we shall build our new Society.” as Seven finished explaining her plan to B’Elanna
“Well, that is incredibly stupid and completely impossible, Your Bustiness, so I’m just going to leave. Thanks for the free boob job, though.”
Seven’s bust jiggled with the slightest motion she made but it was only through sheer determination did she not stop and enjoy her undulating funbags. B’Elanna on the other hand was two seconds away from grabbing Seven’s enouromous busom. 
This sentence brought to you by the increasingly aggressive letter “U”.
Had it not been for her devotion to her new queen, she would have almost certainly have ripped open the strained catsuit Seven wore and tit fucked like never before.
Can… Can a woman actually tit-fuck another women? I don’t think they can. But if someone wants to prove me wrong and send me a video, I’m willing to keep an open mind.
“However… I must first grow some more in order to assure that all will submit to me” Seven said.
“That is where you come in, my Double D’d assitant, you shall capture all the females, and bring them to me when I have finished expanding in order for them to become loyal to our just cause.”
Is anyone else bothered that Seven of Nine’s tits are only being used to hypnotize other women? It seems like, according to the very few scraps of logic featured in this story, that it would be men who would be more willing to submit to the woman with the biggest breasts. I don’t really know what kind of hold Seven of Nine’s tits could really have on other women. And it disturbs me that Seven of Nine’s breasts can control minds through their size, like some kind of tit gravity or something. Shouldn’t there be some kind of Borg breast technology in there facilitating this? Or maybe Seven contracted some alien spore that 1) landed on her tits and 2) is causing people to submit to her will? 
B’Elanna nodded and replied “Yes your bustiness, I will do so, It will be tough to subdue them, so I will take them in small groupings”
“Go then, I will go to the cargo bay to answer my calling while you put on some attire in order to be more discreet” Seven replied almost wrily
B’Elanna looked down, and then looked back up, a little distraught,
“have no fear my sla
ve, your tits shall not be covered for long, for soon when we control the ship, you will be free of your restrictive garments and require your own subordinates to tend to you”
“Because your breasts will be so huge you won’t be able to move! You will urinate and defecate where you stand, while your subordinates clean you, feed you, and wash you with a stick! At last, civilization will reach its pinnacle!”
Smiling, and openly relishing in the idea of larger tits, B’Elanna replicated a larger Starfleet Uniform and they both left on their mission.
Again, Seven’s mission: Find a place where her tits can grow unencumbered without walls in the way. Just wanted to make sure that was clear.
Seven squeezed her basketball-sized tits through the doorway from B’Elanna’s room to the hall and proceeded to the turbolift. When and empty car arrived, she stepped in, said “Cargo Bay 3”, and began to ponder what larger breasts would be like. 
Well, I guess they’d be like they are now, just stupider. 
Needless to say, it was quite the fantasy as she imagined herself with tits the size of cargo bay rooms with hundreds of slaves obeying her every command.

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Really? The size of cargo rooms? Is there really no point at which most Breast Expansion fetishists say, “Okay, that’s a bit too big.”? Sigh.

She snapped out of her reverie when the lift doors opened, and found that her fantasies had triggered the nanoprobes within her to begin the planned expansion. They were already the size of large beachballs and still growing. She tried to command them to stop, but found she could barely work up the will too. 
“Its just too damn beautiful…I can’t…..I don’t want to stop it!” Seven groaned to herself. She was becoming hornier and hornier as her growing breasts made her want to lose all control. But Seven had a mission, and she needed to control hereslf for now.
That mission: To find and enlarge strange new breasts, to seek out new tit forms, to boldly grow where no woman has gone before, because THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID AAAAAAAA
There was only one thing to do: try to make it to the cargo bay before she became stuck here. She began to force one of her huger-all-the-time tits through the turbolift door and managed to go through the doorway sideways, with one tit inside and one out. Then came the hardest part – pulling here other tit out, which was even now slightly bigger than the other one had been to push. As big as a beanbag chair, she tugged and pulled on her (quite elastic) shirt material, and managed to tear the outfit to shreds getting her boob free. Seven felt a triumph as her normally resilient catsuit tore apart like it was made of paper as her might tits, now about the same size  displayed themselves with any cover.
“Sure, I almost got my tit caught in an elevator, but I still say this plan is both logical and for the good of galactic society!”
They were still growing, and while the cargo bay doors were significantly larger than the turbolift’s, she didn’t want to be stuck in the hallway. So she quickly walked (she couldn’t run effectively) to Cargo Bay 3, entered, and went out in the center of the nearly empty space to await her full expansion.
If there’s some kind of hull breach and Seven plugs up the hole with her breasts, it’s going to make up for a lot of this awfulness. Not all of it, but a lot.
Seven had managed to heave her humongous tits onto the ground. 
And when I say “heave” I mean “let gravity takes it’ course.”
Her upper part of uniform laid in tatters around her as her breasts began to slow there expansion. Breathing Deeply, and regaining her strength, she propped herself, albeit with much effort, to examine how large she had become.
The results were staggering, in the relatively short two minutes since her breasts had started expanding, they were 1 foot away from touching the floor. And there was no sag either, perky yet spherical they retained their form. 

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SIR, I’M BEGINNING TO DOUBT THE VERISIMILITUDE OF YOUR STUPID GIANT BOOB CYBORG STORY.
Seven stood agape at the beautiful site infront of her, as she uncousciusly began to grope herself. 
As she began to grope the 15% of her breasts that were actually within arms reach.
Her tit’s sensitivity had increased with her size and with a second of touching her skin, Seven dropped, managing only to kneel, as she rubbed her breasts, moaning with the most intense pleasure that any human has ever experienced. The blonde science officer’s eyes glazed over, as she spent the next two minutes relieving herself of the built up sexual tension that had built up thanks to Seven’s self-control in the hallway.
I hate it when built-up sexual tension builds up. It’s just so redundant, you know?
Her mind still reeling from the intense orgasm, Seven kneeled as she stroked her funbags which nestled in her lap and onto the cold floor.
Her nipples, which hadn’t grown with her breasts, seemed like small islands on a vast ocean of tit flesh, but Seven had an inkling should someone touch them, her mind would be overwhelmed by orgasm. She would probably be unable to regain control of herself for a good time too.
“Hmm. Okay… Seven of Nine’s breasts are about five feet each in diameter at this point… good, good, very sexy… but how big should her nipples be? Well, the same size of course! Enormous nipples are both absurd and unappealing! I hate those BE fans who are so perverse as to have the nipples grow along side the breasts. Why can’t they understand that true beauty is a nipple the size of a quarter on a breast the size of child’s inflatable fun house?!”
“I should protect that weakness later…” Seven thought
They so incredibly large but the Borg knew she was going to have grow even further to assume control. Still Seven felt more emotionally satisfied then she ever had in her life, gazing with a small smile on her face. They were firm yet huggably soft, though it was probably against Seven’s current plan to hug her globes which would send her into uncontrolled masturbation. 

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She had to for now, content herself with stroking her tits. She undid her normally tightly contained hair and let it fall onto her busom, a symbol of Seven’s newfound freedom. Though her massive breasts were the main feature, her small waist and large ass contemplated her hourglass figure despite the fact no one could probably see them behind the mass of boob..
An hourglass with a beachball glued to the front of it.
“I grew past my original expectations……. if I inject more nanoprobes I will grow even larger then once intended” Seven contemplated.
“And since I intended them to be the size of cargo hangars, this is actually pretty fucked up, even to me.”
She did a quick calculation and realized that should she inject more nanoprobes into herself, she would grow 1.5 times larger then what was required. Also her breasts would swell even more during her growth phase of the day. 
What the fuck? There’s a part of the day more conducive to growing tits? Are they like plants? Do the turn to face the sun? ALSO YOU’RE ON A FUCKING SPACESHIP THERE ARE EFFECTIVELY NO TIMES OF DAY AAAAAAUUUURRRRRRGGGGHHHHHGG
Seeing the size of this cargo room which was the largest on voyager, it could probably only hold her and her breasts for 2 more weeks should she inject the nano probes
But I am the tit queen after all, its my given mission Seven thought to herself, weighing the choices. She smiled as she made up her mind……

And… actually, this isn’t the end. There’s a whole second part to the epic saga of Seven’s stupid-large boobs, and furthermore, it’s 15,000 words long. I couldn’t bring myself to read it — after 3000 words of this stupidity I was quite done, as I’m sure you understand — but you can keep reading here. I imagine there are some doozies in there, so please share them with your fellow Topless Roboteers in the comments. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to drink until I start finding breasts attractive again. 

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.