Menu

Weekend Hangover: Anne Rice Rebooted, Milli Vanilli and Mario, Rubber Duck and Bondage


masturbatingrobot.jpg
James.k.Polk

What stories might you (and we) have missed over the weekend? Fear not, dear readers, for many of them have been gathered here for your perusal via reader submissions, and the assistance of Kyle LeClair.

This week’s tipsters include James.k.Polk, SlyDante777, NebulaJack, troi, DrAbraxas, Gallen_Dugall, Dr.Gonzo82, rkwsupserstar, donnaryoko, Timely-Tardis-Lego

1. The Secret of the Uzi – It Wants to Kill This Sequel.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Bay-Turtles 2 has already been greenlit, with the entire creative team guaranteed to return with the possible exception of director Jonathan Liebesman.

Upon hearing this news, my dinner also proved it was guaranteed to return from my stomach.

2. Saturday Morning Breakfast Time Lord.

If Doctor Who were a kid’s cartoon, the intor might look like this. And I might care a lot less about it.

3. Escape, From New Dork.

Adrien Brody is Houdini, which explains how he got away from the Nazis every time in The Piano.

4. High on the Hog.

This motorcycle can run on bacon grease, but considering it has no taste buds, why would you waste that on a machine?

5. Call Him “Mr. T” for Short.

Yoshi’s real name is revealed. And fittingly, it’s a mouthful.

6. A Picture Sells a Thousand Nerds.

David Irvine takes boring thrift-store art and adds Skeletor, Stormtroopers, meat and/or whatever else he feels will make it cool. He’s usually right.

7. Outside the Fold.

The so-called origami robot isn’t actually made of paper. But it does self-fold and walk away, just like Alan Colmes in a debate.

8. P-p-p-pig Pig Pig, Pig That You’ll Dig, P-p-p-pig Pig Pig, Pig That You’ll Dig, Say Can You Dig, the Surfing Pig, P-p-p-pig Pig Pig, Pig That You’ll Dig.

You tink daaat’s baaad?

9. Blame Kaneda.

A tiny bit of footage from the Akira game that never happened is evidence enough that it probably never should have.

10. Fire, on a Shoestring.

Emergency shoelaces contain flint. Social justice bloggers demand alternate versions be made containing Lady Jaye.

11. Blame it on Their Reign.

That time Milli Vanilli were guest voices on the Super Mario Bros. cartoon. Or were they? I mean, how would anybody really know?

12. A Roomba With a Purview.

Drunken Roomba balloon knife fight. What else can you say to that?

13. How Weird, the Duck.

bondageduck.jpg

The vibrating bondage rubber duckie. When VH-1 does a Behind the Music special on Bert and Ernie, they’ll find a stash of these.

14. Won’t You Build My Sleigh Tonight?

The all-new Lego Santa’s Workshop. I can’t think of anything cynical to say here. Except that it’d be pretty ironic if you opened the box and it contained nothing more than two minifigs of your parents.

15. Steam, Punk.

The BioLite KettleCharge – Fill, Heat & Charge from BioLite on Vimeo.

Charge your electronic devices with boiling water, like a boss.

16. Can We Arrest Mike Myers for Pretending to Be Scottish Now?

In Scotland, it’s illegal to pretend to be a ghost while in a graveyard. But you can still pretend a kilt isn’t a skirt all you like.

17. Get Me Some Hemoglobin, Lestat!

Appropriately, franchise bloodsuckers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman will be reviving Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles. So if you never knew how vampires caused 9-11, you will soon enough onscreen.