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Weekstarter: Naked Hermaphrodite Pooh, Bloodsucking Games, Medieval Goats and More

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“Momaw Lisa” by sonicsnout

It’s a new week, and the shortest one of the year, full of gift guides and other content to get the holidays off to a good start. In fact, today we’re even going to have a whopping TWO list features! I’d say that it’s because you deserve second helpings at Thanksgiving, but we all know that in fact this is likely to be a slow news week, and therefore a good time to showcase feature articles and editorials.

Here’s your first of said features – a collection of the best and brightest reader-submitted and Kyle LeClair-compiled news tips over the weekend, to start your Monday off right. This week’s tipsters included sonicsnout, troi, Citrus_King, skrag2112, SlyDante777, Dr.Gonzo82, Gallen_Dugall, rkwsuperstar

1. The Stools on the Bus Swirl Round and Round.

If you ever need the perfect ride to Bartertown, this British bus which runs on food scraps and human waste – some of which is generated on the bus itself – offers the most reliably crappy transportation.

Sure, you could take a regular bus – but wouldn’t this be your #2 choice?

2. The Rest, as They Say, Is Hicks-Story.

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A look at James Remar in Aliens, before he was replaced by Michael Biehn.

Years later, of course, he would replace Christopher Lambert as Rayden in the Mortal Kombat movie sequel, which somehow doesn’t seem like it makes up for anything at all.

3. Stand and Over-Deliver.

It’s good that the new movie version of Stephen King’s The Stand won’t have to all be crammed into one movie. Four, however, is counting on a whole lot of goodwill from audiences who appear tired of the “split long book in two” formula.

4. “Fox” New’s Intolerant.

What?

I’m just saying the band who did “What does the Fox Say” has a new song about food intolerance. What did you think I meant?

5. Hen Tie.

However, it would seem the true spiritual followup to that Fox song, ironically enough, seems to involve a henhouse.

6. Winnie the Pooh, Half-Naked Hermaphrodite.

Oh, bother! Not wearing pants has gotten the bear of very little brain in trouble with a school in Poland, where one local claims of creator A.A. Milne that “The author was over 60 and cut his [Pooh’s] testicles off with a razor blade because he had a problem with his identity.”

Guys, they’re called BEER nuts, not…

7. Ends Justify the Memes.

Multiple ways that Guardians of the Galaxy “should” have ended. Fan tested, James Gunn approved.

8. Brew/Ha-Ha.

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The Cabin in the Woods coffee-cup bong is now going to be a real thing – but “for use with tobacco only.” Well, that cabin was all about misdirection…

9. Ain’t That Just Dandy.

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If you’d like to own a hat and banner that will probably get you fired from your job, and ostracized on social media quicker than a comet scientist with a colorful pin-up shirt, the Space Dandy season 1 Blu-ray and DVD set has your back.

10. Your Game Sucks…

…sucks BLOOD, that is! Lose blood in this game, and you can lose it in real life. Because of all the things people can do in games that they can’t in real life, THAT’S the one they’re jonesing for.

11. Hawking for Hover.

The Hendo Hoverboard actually makes Tony Hawk fall on his ass. That, or being in his forties.

12. Bizarro Tupper Adam Would Be Bizarrhea.

Lego Justice League vs. Bizarro League might be the only “versus” movie featuring DC heroes that pretty much everyone is feeling good about.

13. This’ll Have You Climbing the Walls.

Why they’re calling this device “gecko gloves” rather than making obvious Spider-Man references, I know not. The only gecko I know of would never insure this guy.

14. Reaching New Heights.

The world’s tallest roller coaster is being built to knock you for a loop, or several. Here’s a pre-viz of how the ride will look, and I already feel sick.

15. Fantasy? Mehhhh.

Goat Simulator expands into the MMO world, because this joke’s not just getting old…it’s getting medieval on your ass.

About Author

Luke Y. Thompson has been writing professionally about movies and pop-culture since 1999, and has also been an actor in some extremely cheap culty and horror movies you will probably never hear much about (he is nonetheless mostly proud of them, as he met his wife on one). As editor of The Robot's Voice since 2012, he can take the blame for the majority of the site's content, all of which he creates because he loves you very, very much. (Although he loves nachos more. Sorry.) Prior to TRV, Luke wrote for publications that include the New Times LA, Los Angeles CityBeat, E! Online, OC Weekly, Geekweek, GeekChicDaily, The L.A. Times, The Village Voice, LA Weekly, and Nerdist