Movies, Toys

Move Over, Seth MacFarlane: Official Fifty Shades of Grey Teddy Bear Has Yours Beat (Literally)

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50shadesbear.jpg

This is a real thing, not made by some pervy sex store, but by the Vermont Teddy Bear Company, one of the largest sellers of teddy bears in the world. Here’s their description:

If you want to dominate Valentine’s Day, skip the roses and send the limited-edition Fifty Shades of Grey Bear. Inspired by the best-selling book, the adult gift is specially designed for fans obsessed with Grey, biting their lips with anticipation over the movie. He features smoldering gray eyes, a suit and satin tie, mask – even mini handcuffs.

It’s described as “not suitable for children” – not because it’s based on porny S&M Twilight fan fiction, but because it contains small parts and is a choking hazard.

MacFarlane’s Ted just masturbates. Amateur hour compared to this dude, who will do scarier things to your My Little Ponies than just The Jar.

h/t Greg Greene

About Author

Luke Y. Thompson has been writing professionally about movies and pop-culture since 1999, and has also been an actor in some extremely cheap culty and horror movies you will probably never hear much about (he is nonetheless mostly proud of them, as he met his wife on one). As editor of The Robot's Voice since 2012, he can take the blame for the majority of the site's content, all of which he creates because he loves you very, very much. (Although he loves nachos more. Sorry.) Prior to TRV, Luke wrote for publications that include the New Times LA, Los Angeles CityBeat, E! Online, OC Weekly, Geekweek, GeekChicDaily, The L.A. Times, The Village Voice, LA Weekly, and Nerdist