Cartoons, Merchandise

Edible Sex Lube Based on Cartoon Ponies Is in the Works

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Take a vacation for a couple of days, thought I. What could possibly happen? Mission: Impossible trailer? No biggie. X-Files doing six new episodes? Great, but I know anyone filling in for me can handle writing about that.

Seems it’s just another uneventful…HOLYWHATTHEFUCK??

ponylube.jpg

This thing isn’t available to buy yet, but the Etsy page is already set up. Are you ready for the product description?

Welcome to Pony Up! Personal Lubricants. Your favorite equine themed lube is water based, condom safe, and PH balanced for best vaginal compatibility.

All products are Made-To-Order, please allow for this time.

Each bottle is 2 Ounces.

We have all your favorite waifus here in 6 wonderful colors, scents, and flavors!

Twilightly Lavender – Sometimes staying up all night studying and reading can be so stressful. When you get that low groaning urge in the middle of the night you can reach for this lovely lavender scented liquid and release all of that pent up “magic”.

Rainbow Berry Blue – Lets make a bet. Race me to the top of that mountain. Winner gets one hour to do whatever they want with the opponent and a bottle of Rainbow Berry Blue lube. You know I’ll win, but that isn’t really a problem for you, is it? Deal?

Shyly Butterscotch – Maybe you’re a bit of an introvert, dealing with others just isn’t how you roll. But that’s not a bad thing! Everyone can have fun alone, especially with a bit of excitement from this butterscotch yellow friend in a bottle. And hey, find someone else who is a bit like you, and you could be having fun being alone, together.

Bubblegum Party Pink – Are you a party pony? Always keeping everyone’s spirits high with your random antics? Bubblegum Party Pink is just the flavor you should use when your party guests want to take the party to the next level.

Rarest Vanilla – Center of the ball, so decadent and fashionable, you need something that will wow all of the partygoers who set their eyes on you. Generosity is an integral part of your inner being, and sharing what you’ve got is how you make friends. The classic scent and flavor of vanilla is sure to bring some clients back for more.

Cowgirl Apple – Whew! What a hard day of work! Sweat is rolling down your hot strained body. Full of tight muscles and flustered frame. As you shower off your day of work you become a a bit more familiar with your gently relaxing body, with help from this rootin’ tootin’ apple flavored lubricant from Pony Up! Personal Lubricant.

Why do I have the feeling that anyone buying this really doesn’t have to worry too much about it being condom-compatible? I assume it doesn’t eat through jars or anything.

Yes, folks, LYT is back in charge of editorial. Didja miss me?

via Horse News

About Author

Luke Y. Thompson has been writing professionally about movies and pop-culture since 1999, and has also been an actor in some extremely cheap culty and horror movies you will probably never hear much about (he is nonetheless mostly proud of them, as he met his wife on one). As editor of The Robot's Voice since 2012, he can take the blame for the majority of the site's content, all of which he creates because he loves you very, very much. (Although he loves nachos more. Sorry.) Prior to TRV, Luke wrote for publications that include the New Times LA, Los Angeles CityBeat, E! Online, OC Weekly, Geekweek, GeekChicDaily, The L.A. Times, The Village Voice, LA Weekly, and Nerdist