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Super Terrific Japanese Thing: Masturbation Hero Tengaman


tengaman.jpg

Tomorrow is National Masturbation Day in Japan, at least as declared by onahole manufacturer Tenga (if you don’t know what an onahole is, recognize that “ona-” refers to masturbation and guess the rest). In order to properly sell their products to the target audience on this designated unofficial holiday, they’ve done the first thing any Japanese company would do – create an 18-minute film starring a wank-enhanced Power Ranger called Tengaman, who “morphs” by sticking his boner into a Tenga, at which point he battles skeletons with penises, and a villain shaped like a giant hand flipping him off. (Despite this synopsis, there’s no nudity in the short, so it’s sorta SFW…sorta.)

I suggest watching the intro and then skipping to about the 8:30 mark, as much of what happens in between is just unsubtitled Japanese dialogue. Google translator once again proves the absolute inadequacy of comparing our two languages…

Believe so firmly “erotic save the planet”, O? Ittetsu has recommended the pleasure in the world, meet in a major earthquake during masturbation you use the Tenga.

Although obstinate that fell in the earthquake was to die in mid-minded and hit in the head with a dumbbell, this time, he went into to the world of the long and short fancy. So obstinate who received the revelation of God, to assume the mission “to achieve peace envelops the world with pleasure”, it was to act as Tengaman.

The first enemy that famous “herbivorous boys”. Ittetsu became the Tengaman is libido zero, frigidity of man, challenged to Fujimoto. Tengaman it succeeded in causing the squid was the “herbivorous men” Fujimoto formidable enemy, taught him the “true pleasure”. Thus achieved the victory, but he O? Ittetsu of life seemed as if it had regained peace …

source: Kotaku via Sly Dante