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Ask Luke’s Mother-in-Law: Spiders, Parrots and Porn Parodies

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Got questions? Martha Boyd has all sorts of answers. A desert-dweller, self-proclaimed crazy cat lady, former LAPD officer and widow to a Green Beret, she’s seen and heard things crazier than you’ve imagined. And is ready for whatever odd questions you have, so bring them on!

Well, guys and gals, this week I came up with a picture of solar bobbles that live and breed in my bathroom window. Tried taking a pic in the natural habitat but it was to dark due to the sun in the window so I moved them to the living room. I am waiting to see what comes out for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I also need to get something for different windows in the house where they can be far enough away from the little paws in the house that wish to play with these small moving objects. You all have your action figures – this old lady her solar bobbles and kitties.

The Addams Family just finished week 3 and we have 2 more in the run. It has been so popular selling out every night we have added an extra Sunday 2:30 pm show on Nov 1, 2015. I will be sad when it is over, but will also have some time to get some much needed rest.

Last weekend we had Pioneer Days in 29 Palms. It was a great time, parade, carnival, food etc. This was a part of the Sheriff display and the festival. It is so cool the Sheriff unit and the CHP unit got together and did the video below.

Who knows the theme songs?

Posted by Morongo Basin Sheriff’s Station on Friday, October 16, 2015

Gallen Dugall:

QUESTION!!! Do you ever have an idea that you think is really great and then forget the details? If so what do you do about it because it happens to me all the time. Usually I grab a pen and write it down, but sometimes writing something down isn’t an option. I thought about training a parrot to repeat my ideas back to me, but they make too much of a mess.

Yep, I do that all of the time. Actually I have a thought on a report I am writing and by the time I get to what I am working on I have already forgotten what I wanted to go back and do additional commenting on. It is a bitch getting old. Anyway, I find that as soon as I have the thought I must make myself a note. I have a lot of scrap paper on my desk. In your case, where you can’t always jot it down – perhaps a mini tape recorder in your pocket would work and it is by far less of a mess then the parrot. But I bet the parrot would look cute sitting on your shoulder.

James Polk:

What sounds good with tamales for dinner tonight?

Well my favorite are pork tamales. I love them with lots of cheese, pico de gallo and sour crème. I generally serve them with Spanish rice and refried beans. When I can I get them from a local taco shop, but failing that Food 4 Less in our area carries a pretty decent one.

Jess P:

What do you think of tarantulas as pets? They’re furry and have tiny claws like kitties, but the number of legs seems to bother people. Why is that?

All for them as long as I don’t get bitten. We have nice big ones here in the desert and they are pretty docile, but can bite. I also like most snakes (non poison ones), mice, rats, etc.

Derek B:

My cat has a tendency to clime up on to stacks of things, and is always surprised and scared when it all falls over with him on it. How can I get him to learn?

I can so relate. My husband used to have stacks of magazines and you know how slippery they can be. Up they would go and over the pile would go. Lucky for us, cats bounce really well. As I am in earthquake country most everything high now that they like to climb is tied down to the walls. So that would be one tip. It they are getting on the top of bookcases, etc., secure them to the wall. Another good tip is get rid of the stacks of things. Buy a nice tall cat play tree and train them to that. A bit of catnip works well. When they get on the other stuff a small squirt with a spray bottle will work and train them away from the stacks and over to the cat tree.

John S:

What’s your favorite part of the new Star Wars trailer? Did you watch the football game just to see it?

Nope did not watch the game as I was busy that night at the Sheriff’s dept. I watched the trailer when I got home on the computer. The best part was seeing the old characters. Just love Han.

J.B.B.:

Why are most porn parodies guy on girl? Where are the gay porn parodies?

Don’t really know – don’t watch porn. But I am sure if you look really hard you will find the gay ones, I’m someone has made one. If not, you have found something to do.

Ray k:

If Dr. Pepper and Mr Pibb had a fight who would get diabetes first?

My bet is on Dr. Pepper – much better tasting soda. So of course he would get it first.

Well as they say in the cartoons “That’s all folks”. I got much of nothing this week. I hope that you all have a wonderful next week. This weekend I am back at Addams Family and I also finish the Sheriff Volunteer Academy. So I’ll soon be busy, busy again – but lots of fun. Huggs to you all.

Feel free to leave more questions on all worldly and otherworldly matters below, or email directly to boydappraisal at yahoo. Nothing is too important, or too trivial.

About Author

Luke Y. Thompson has been writing professionally about movies and pop-culture since 1999, and has also been an actor in some extremely cheap culty and horror movies you will probably never hear much about (he is nonetheless mostly proud of them, as he met his wife on one). As editor of The Robot's Voice since 2012, he can take the blame for the majority of the site's content, all of which he creates because he loves you very, very much. (Although he loves nachos more. Sorry.) Prior to TRV, Luke wrote for publications that include the New Times LA, Los Angeles CityBeat, E! Online, OC Weekly, Geekweek, GeekChicDaily, The L.A. Times, The Village Voice, LA Weekly, and Nerdist