The 8 Worst Nintendo Games Based On TV/Movie Properties
Posted at 5:02 AM Aug 04, 2008
By Chris Cummins
From E.T. to Lost, video game spinoffs of TV shows and films have a consistent track record of being lame. This phenomenon was never more apparent than during the heyday of the Nintendo Entertainment System when it seemed like every third game released was an attempt to cash in on a screen property. Every now and again, one of these releases was actually quite decent (see Goonies II), but mainly they were boring platformers that were heavy on aggravation and light on fun. Here’s a look at eight TV/movie games for the NES that either squandered their potential or just plain sucked.
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8) Fester’s Quest
Everybody’s favorite creepy bald monk had his chance to shine in this NES atrocity based on The Addams Family. He blew it like the class slut on prom night. Released before the big screen remake of the series, this game’s existence hinges on the flawed assumption that kids playing their NES actually gave a shit about the creepy and altogether ooky characters that populate the Addams’ universe. The inexplicable sci-fi plot has Fester attempting to stop an alien invasion with the occasional help of Wednesday, Pugsley and Thing. Not fun or involving on any level (literally), Fester’s Quest is an uninspired side-scroller best left to the annals of obscurity.
7) Hollywood Squares
One of the many NES adaptations of game shows, Hollywood Squares lets two players test their trivia knowledge against famous folks in an overblown game of Tic Tac Toe. Uh, except there’s Joan Rivers or Shadoe Stevens to be found. Instead, players get to watch non-descript characters like Old Woman, Big-Breasted Whore and Smiling Douche crack wise before they answer a question. Hollywood Squares entire raison d'être is for celebrities to show up and make with the funny. Without the B-list celebs, the game has no point. Would it have killed them to include computerized representations of Paul Lynde or Charo? Say what you will about Jim J. Bullock, at least he’s not just some random pixels on a screen.
6) Gremlins 2: The New Batch
Marred by overly difficult gameplay that makes completion nearly impossible without passwords or one of those newfangled Game Genie devices that the uncoordinated kids (i.e. me) had to use to cheat, this release is full of missed opportunities. Taking on the role of Gizmo, players have to maneuver the Mogwai through the Clamp Center building, squaring off against the film’s mutated Gremlins along the way. With the best graphics and cut scenes of any NES game, Gremlins 2: The New Batch should have been a classic for the console. Unfortunately, its unlimited potential twas killed by its needless complexity. It’s a pity that its publisher Sunsoft—who was also responsible for the superb Batman game—didn’t make this one easier. It could’ve been one for the ages.
5) Back to the Future II & III
My proposed tagline for this one? "If you thought Doc having twins named Jules and Verne was bullshit, you ain’t seen nothing yet!" Two terrible games in one, Back to the Future II & III has you traveling throughout various eras to collect objects needed to restore the space time continuum. Whereas LJN’s Back to the Future was a knockoff of Paperboy, this one shamelessly rips off Super Mario Brothers—though minus the fun and psychedelic visuals. Part of the problem here is that it requires extreme patience to complete the various tasks that make up the game. This is not a virtue that the average Nintendo player had when this game came out back in 1990, what with all the issues of Thrasher/Sassy to read and lusting after Alyssa Milano/Jason Bateman to do. If you actually went ahead and finished the Back to the Future: Part II portion of the game, you’d just have to play the same levels again in Part III, only this time they were Wild West-themed/way more difficult. When you take it upon yourself to check this one out, be sure to track down the password that will let you play the 1885 levels immediately. There’s no need to waste more time on pointless nostalgia than is absolutely necessary.
4) Ghostbusters II
For my money, Activision’s Ghostbusters game for the Commodore 64 is the greatest video game based on a movie. From its sing-along opening sequence and its Wheel of Fortune-esque shopping segments to the final showdown with the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, the game perfectly recaptures the fun of the film. Thus, when it was announced that a videogame spinoff would be released in conjunction with the movie’s sequel, I eagerly awaited a game that I believed would be an equal to its predecessor. On the day of its release, I had my dad drive me to my local Kiddie City to joyfully plunk down $49.99 for it. Given what the title of this Daily List is, you already know how this turned out. Just as the film didn’t live up to most peoples expectations, neither did the game fulfill my hopes. (Full disclosure: I enjoy the movie, flawed though it may be).
Starting with four lives, players must first make their way through a haunted subway station without getting killed by floating heads, spiders or Slimer, who is supposed to be your ghost friend. If you don’t throw the game across the room after two minutes, you’ll get to drive the Ecto-1 to another excruciating level. It goes on like this for awhile until you eventually get to kill ghosts using the Statue of Liberty’s torch, which would be cool if the level didn’t take hours to complete. Masochists who stick with the game and defeat Vigo are treated with an end sequence that consists of a newspaper with ass-looking illustrations of the Ghostbusters. Forget the villains, the only things haunting Venkman, Spengler, Stanz and Zeddmore in this game are repetitive levels and cheap deaths. Further adding to the frustration is the fact that a much better Ghostbusters II game was released overseas. So much for America being the greatest country in the world.
3) Total Recall
Here’s something fun to do, walk around all day and repeat the phrase "Cohaagen, give da people deir air." Or, do an impersonation of Schwarzenegger falling down a cliff. Perhaps you could idle away the hours figuring out if you prefer your romantic partners to be sleazy or demure. Whatever do you with your time, don’t waste it on this game.
After a promising opening screen that features an image of someone who slightly resembles Arnold Schwarzenegger, gamers are clued in to the film’s plot in a text sequence that features a futuristic font. The future’s neat, right? So the game has to be good! Before you know it, Quaid is fighting off rats and steam and pipes and fidgets in pink suits, just like in the movie! With enough perseverance, you can fight Sharon Stone and relive the film’s climax. But chances are by then it will be 2012 and you’ll be too busy dealing with the apocalypse to worry about mourning for Kuato.
2) Yo Noid
In the wake of California Raisins mania, Domino’s Pizza enlisted claymation pioneer Will Vinton to create a new corporate mascot for them, the Noid. Possessing the neuroticism of Sonny the Cuckoo Bird and the obsessive-compulsive traits of the Hamburglar, the Noid gained popularity through his constant attempts to destroy pizza pies the world over. For some reason, the Noid became one of a select few advertising characters to receive an NES game (a mini-trend that also gave us the surprisingly not awful Spot: The Video Game featuring the former 7-Up icon). A typical lame-ass side-scrolling adventure, Yo Noid has the character facing off against his evil twin in order to save New York City and get a pizza reward. Okay, wait, in this game’s universe, the Noid is good? And if so, his motivation for saving the day is to receive large quantities of a foodstuff that he has dedicated his life to destroying? That’s like telling Mario if he rescues the princess he’ll be treated to watching her get gang-raped by Bowser’s minions.
1) Gilligan’s Island
Just sit right back and you’ll hear the tale of the shittiest NES game ever released. Let’s say time travel existed and was somehow made available to the public. Do you know the first thing I would do is? I’d travel back to 1992 and kick my 16-year-old self’s ass for shelling out $50 on this waste of plastic and technology. But times were different then and so great was my affection for all things Sherwood Schwartz that I simply had to own this. On the way home from buying it, I convinced myself that the game’s background music would be that great "You Need Us" song from the episode when The Mosquitos came to visit the island. In the first of the game’s many disappointments, it wasn’t.
Broken up into four different "episodes," the game has players controlling the Skipper as he meanders around the island looking for a way to get back to civilization while Gilligan follows him and falls down a lot. Besides the fact that this one is difficult and ponderous, more than anything it’s just a waste of time–making the comparisons between Gilligan’s Island and Jean-Paul Sartre’s No Exit seem all the more valid. The end of the game? Why it’s a lousy screen that tells you to stay tuned to see if the castaways ever make it off the island. So, I suppose it’s faithful to the show in that there’s no fucking resolution (that TV movie in which they left the island and decided to come back doesn’t really count). The single worst offense in this abomination is that they failed to include Ginger in it. Maybe she got eaten by headhunters or accidentally killed by Gilligan during one of his scampish misadventures, but she sure as shit isn’t in the game anywhere. For this, Tina Louise should be eternally grateful.
Comments
you're fucking crazy
Posted 08/04/2008 at 06:08:56 AMghostbusters 2 and gremlins 2 are both decent games
what about the hunt for red october or mtv's remote control?
those games were bloody awful
Remote Control is a wonderful NES game.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 06:12:39 AMHey, Yo Noid was a LOT of fun!
Posted 08/04/2008 at 06:22:39 AMSome pretty awful games. Hudson Hawk, Muppet Adventure, Rambo and M.U.S.C.L.E. (I believe it had a short-lived cartoon) were also loathsome.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 06:50:35 AMI feel your pain when it comes to slapping down way too much money for a game that ends up stinking worse than the gutter. When Super NES and Playstation were dominating the market, I actually paid someone to give me a copy of The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle on the NES. Horrifying in its sheer ineptitude, the game was nearly unplayable. I was a dope.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 07:01:20 AMI never had any of the games memtioned by everyone else...but i did have Total Recall...worste game ever...why? It was impossible to finish
Posted 08/04/2008 at 07:26:56 AMThe same thing goes now as it does back then:
"NEVER BUY A GAME BASED OFF A MOVIE"
this has not changed in 20 years folks!
Posted 08/04/2008 at 07:29:08 AMI still can't make the first jump in Darkman. I hate that game.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 08:06:48 AMDude. What about E.T.?
Oh wait, that was the 2600. My bad. I woulda put Fester's Quest at one....crap I hated that game.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 08:43:23 AMI don't think Arnold's been that skinny since he was 11.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 09:48:40 AMGod, Fester's Quest. All I remember about that game is standing in front of these alien things and just shooting them over and over again. It would take a full minute to kill these enemies that were the equivalent of the goombas in Super Mario Brothers.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 10:11:06 AMStill, I think your list needs to include Jaws. Awful, awful game.
Where's Friday the 13th? Not only was it impossible to beat, but it was boring as hell to boot. How do you make Jason Vorhees boring???
Posted 08/04/2008 at 12:15:16 PMJaws was a great game until you had to finish off Jaws. And then it was impossible.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 12:19:13 PMMy vote goes to Cliffhanger, a Sony game. It was embarassing.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 01:06:10 PMWhen these games 1st came out they were really fun. I think gremlins 2 should be worst one though out of the list. I thought fester was fun though with all the different weapons and things you were able to do. All though it was a long ass game.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 01:09:00 PMBlasphemy! Fester's Quest was a fun and challenging game. Granted, it had nothing to do with The Addams Family, and it should have been just any other game, but the association with the film is what made my six-year-old self buy it. Also, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves was my favorite NES game of all time. The 8-bit Robin of Locksley was a better actor than Costner any day.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 01:26:50 PMBlasphemy! Fester's Quest was a fun and challenging game. Granted, it had nothing to do with The Addams Family, and it should have been just any other game, but the association with the film is what made my six-year-old self buy it in the first place. Also, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves was my favorite NES game of all time. The 8-bit Robin of Locksley was a better actor than Costner any day.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 01:27:09 PMHave you forgotten about the shitburger with an extra large side order of rancid maggot fries that was Robocop?
Posted 08/04/2008 at 01:35:00 PMwhatever... Friday the 13th sucked more balls than any of these
Posted 08/04/2008 at 01:43:12 PMYou totally forgot to mention Bill and Ted's excellent adventure that game licked shit biscuits.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 01:45:59 PMAbout the Noid... Not only was the Noid game bad, but it caused a guy named Kenneth Lamar Noid to kidnap 2 Atlanta Domino's store employees and hold them hostage for 5 hours (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noid). No other game did that! Ok...it wasn't the game, just the "Avoid the Noid" thing that would make anyone who had been kicked around in high school a little squirrely.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 01:59:00 PMWhat, no Knight Rider? Did anyone besides me play that steaming pile on the NES? A poor driving game with graphics only an Atari 2600 could love.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 02:02:41 PMYeah buddy you hit the nail on the head, all counts!
JT
Posted 08/04/2008 at 02:06:53 PMwww.FireMe.to/udi
Gremlins 2, on a worst list....because of difficulty...
Wheres Double Dare, Friday the 13th? those are truly bad NES game based on a TV/Movie properties. Might as well put Batman on that list as well since it was also considered one of the more difficult NES titles unless of course you played the Hacked Easy version fans made.
Its your opinion and I can't change that. I loved it when games were good AND difficult, unlike today's games which are marred by OVERLY EASY gameplay on the hardest difficulties.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 02:07:14 PMAnyone remember ET for the NES? It is widely regarded as one of the worst video games of all time on any platform. How did it not make this list?
Posted 08/04/2008 at 02:08:42 PMI sure hope "Bebe's Kids" is #1 on your list of the worst SNES games ever.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 03:09:06 PMYo Noid is a great platformer, come on, man! Pick on those 7UP Spot games instead. Ugh.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 03:33:58 PME.T. wasn't released for the NES, it was an Atari 2600 game, and an atrocious one at that!
Posted 08/04/2008 at 04:18:00 PM@Louie Cabral
Posted 08/04/2008 at 05:54:00 PMThe 8-bit Robin of Locksley was a better actor than Costner any day.
LMFAO!!!
I enjoyed the list. I forgot about half of these games!
I couldn't say whether or not any of them were good, wtf did I know I was like 10 when most of this shit dropped.
I'd have to agree with Hudson though.
Minus the LotR Two Towers, those are words to live by.
I think the opposite is true as well.
I can't remember a movie based on a game that was worth a shit.
Any thoughts?
Festers Quest was cool for the time.
Total Recall was only feasible when glitching the punches by holding down and turbo A & B on my NES MAX, (Arnie's green shirt will turn red and he will hop around madly holding his invincible fist out,) but was still a shitty game.
Gremlins was difficult, but since when did that become a bad trait of games? Willow was a b*tch (probably one of the most difficult) but probably one of the best movie based NES games.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 06:52:17 PMSound like Chris Cummins needs to turn off the GameGenie/ProActionReplay/TrainingWheelsforGames and actually play a game sans cheats.
What about the Beetlejuice game? That has to be the worst ever. I couldnt even get through the first level. Transformers was also a pile.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 06:55:16 PMI'm surprised no one has mentioned the overt similarity between Fester's Quest and esteemed classic, Blaster Master. The overworld walking portions are nearly identical, even down to the same flickering of enemies getting hit with weapons, hero movements, and fired weapon patterns. The hovering mass Fester encounters in the lawn area before he dies in the sample footage is nearly identical to a BM enemy.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 09:31:28 PMAgreed, Ghostbusters for C64 was AWESOME.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 11:03:55 PMTerrible rundown. First off, you could only come up with 8, or is that your "thing"?
Secondly, your use of metaphor is atrocious. "Blew it like the class slut on prom night"??? Really? Are you in 7th grade?
Finally, your knowledge of video games matches your sense of humor, it would appear. Fester's quest was a top-down, and sometimes a dungeon-crawler, not a side-scroller.
Posted 08/04/2008 at 11:12:27 PMGames that had movies based off them are good though :P Silent hill, for example. (#2 sucked ass, but number 4 was great)
Posted 08/05/2008 at 12:56:49 AMFester's Quest was a NES classic. My brother and I spent happy weeks completing it. Unlike many other NES games of the time, this one had that something special which meant we didnt mind replaying levels again and again. Cool weapons, good monster variety, responsive controls. The 3D boss levels were awesome. Very good game. Gremlins 2 was good also. Has the reviewer played these games? Where is the famously crap E.T. in the list? There must be a hundred games more noteworthily bad than these above..
Posted 08/05/2008 at 07:39:24 AMThe only exeption for movie-based games is The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King for PS2/Xbox/PC.
Even tho the movies were based off the book(s) they made they made the game directly off the move if you dont agree play the game and unlock the special features, the voice acting is even from the same actors/actress.
Also does any one remember the original movie, the animated one that is if you do sorry for reminding you.
"Frodo and the nine fingers, and the Ring of DOOOM!"
Posted 08/05/2008 at 08:00:45 AMGremlins 2 is one of the best games on the NES. I managed to beat it without outside help at age 9, and it's still one of the most beautiful and playable games with phenomenal graphics and sound that tops anything else on the system (except perhaps the highly flawed Batman: Return of the Joker) and a lot of fun items. Sounds like the writer probably played it for a few brief minutes... the screenshot of the very first level kinda confirms that.
Posted 08/05/2008 at 11:46:15 AMhow was deadly towers not on this list? oh because it wasn't based on tv/movie...but bow down people and kneel to the master-suck of all video games. Deadly towers...you are shit!
Posted 08/05/2008 at 12:42:28 PMYeah, this Chris Cummings guy is pretty much a tool.
Fester's Quest and Gremlins 2 are probably the BEST licensed videogames that appeared on the NES.
Sunsoft, the dev/pub, made solid games from their licenses.
Chris should try playing ANY of the LJN games from that era: Friday the 13th, Xmen and Chris will know what true pain is.
Posted 08/05/2008 at 01:08:37 PMI thought X-Men was a fun game. Granted, you couldn't stay alive for very long at all but at least you got to pick from all the available X-Men instead of how games do now where you have to EARN characters. But Friday the 13th was awful. Nightmare on Elmstreet, however, was good except for the fact I've never been able to beat it as though there was no end. Get all the bones in all the levels and nothing. Go figure.
Posted 08/05/2008 at 01:41:47 PMI actually really liked Yo Noid, too. It was fun, and there were a lot of cool powerups you could get, like skateboards and stuff. And the graphics were pretty good for the time.
And to whoever said Silent Hill 2 sucked, are you serious? That was the creepiest and best one, by far.
Posted 08/05/2008 at 03:16:59 PMSome of these games aren't that bad. There have been worse games.
Posted 08/05/2008 at 05:48:52 PMFesters quest was really good for the time, and it wasn't a side scroller...you can see that if you bother to watch the video embedded inyour article. This list is sloppy at best ^^
Posted 08/07/2008 at 12:36:39 PMCan't agree 100%. Fester's Quest was a pretty entertaining shooter in the same mold as Blaster Master, and the 3D maze gimmick was a pretty cool one. Gremlins 2: The New Batch wasn't what it could have been, but it wasn't impossibly difficult and the boss fights were pretty entertaining.
If you want to talk about some grade Z garbage, go ahead and include the Terminator 2 and Fox's Peter Pan & the Pirates in these games' places. After playing those (the latter in particular) you may lose your mind.
Posted 08/07/2008 at 04:06:52 PMThe malefactor 0/10
Posted 08/08/2008 at 09:13:35 AMYeah Hollywood Squares sucked. It was just so basic and the questions were easy WITH NO STARS!. Ghostbusters 2 was inexplicably hard to play.
Posted 12/04/2008 at 09:51:38 AM