Fan Fiction Friday: Goku and Anne Frank in "Until the End of Time"
Posted at 1:01 PM Dec 19, 2008
Congratulations! If you're reading this, it means your head didn't explode purely upon reading the article title. I'm sure you're terrified, as all good folk would be at the thought of Anne Frank meeting Goku, but I want to tell you now there is no graphic sex, and a much happier ending than the original. That said, you will still almost certainly tear your own head off at some point while reading this story by Gofer-chan.
I'm gofer-chan, and this is my first piece of fanfiction! It was my brother's idea, an Anne Frank/DBZ crossover! I am big fans of both.Can someone really be a "fan" of Anne Frank? Best not to think about it, because Goku's on his way. Hit the jump for the entire magnum opus. (Also, "thanks" to BadNflu3nce for the tip. You're a terrible person.)
Anne sighed as she sat in her room, staring at her wall. She just finished writing in her diary, and had nothing to do. Life was boring in the Secret Annex, but it was better than the alternative. It was alright talking to Peter and Margot, but they were both such quiet people, unlike the always active Anne. All of a sudden, a flash of light appeared in the room! Anne jumped back, stifling a scream. Before she could run out the closed door she noticed that the person who appeared in the flash was not a Nazi officer, but someone who she had never seen before! His clothes were very strange, and his hair was in a spiky style that was totally new to her. She stood against the wall, wary of the stranger, but he walked towards her and smiled, extending a hand. "My name is Goku." The mysterious stranger said. Anne nervously put her hand in his. He bent down and kissed it softly, then let go. Anne blushed, feeling something she had never felt before go off inside of her. "My name is Anne..." she replied quietly. "I'm sorry for what just happened," Goku told her, "But I was caught in a time portal and deposited here! My power cells will recharge soon, but until then, I'm stuck here." Anne had no idea what the handsome visitor was talking about, but she played along. "Well, sir" she said. "You may stay in my room as long as you like!" Anne blushed again as she said this, and giggled slightly. Goku looked around, and then sat on the bed. "Thank you for the invitation. I'll be sure to repay you for it soon." Anne did not understand what he meant by that, however, when he spoke, she felt a warmth deep inside of her. She sat by him on the bed, staring at the man's beautiful eyes. Finally, she could stand it no longer. Anne leaned over and kissed the stranger on the cheek, and then pulled back quickly, not sure of what she had done. "I'm sorry..." she said, as she stumbled to find the right words. The visitor smirked. "No, that's quite alright." He replied with a smile, putting one arm around her. "You know, you're a very beautiful girl, but I... well..." Anne looked at him, troubled. "What's the matter?" she said, with a sweet smile. Goku looked nervous. "I... I'm already married." he finally managed to choke out. Anne pulled away from him abruptly. "No!" she said loudly, almost in tears. "I'm sorry..." he replied. Anne was furious. "Nothing ever goes right!" she cried out. "I have to go now, my power cells have recharged." said Goku. Anne was in tears by now, staring at the wall so she wouldn't see Goku's face. He smiled a sad smile, and disappeared in another flash, out of Anne's life forever. Anne never forgot him, though... not until the end of time.For some reason, the idea of Anne Frank yelling "Nothing ever goes right!" regarding Goku makes me incredible nauseous. But wait! Neither the Nazis, nor Cell, nor Goku's marraige can stop true love!
One month. Well, it didn't feel like a month. To Anne Frank, a Jew in hiding from the Nazis, it seemed like a year. One month since the fateful encounter with the mysterious man from another world, who she only knew as 'Goku'. The handsome stranger had stepped through time and into her life, then disappeared without a trace. Anne was almost sure that they'd never meet again, even though not one day passed without her dreaming of him. Little did she know, however, that their lives were tied by the unbreakable red string of fate.Please let me repeat that for you one more time.
It was another boring day in the Secret Annex. Anne sat on the bed of her room, writing in her diary. It never occurred to her, however, that this entry would be her last. As she wrote in the quiet attic, there was a loud noise from downstairs. Her heart jumped with both fear and excitement. Was it them? The Nazis? Or, could it be... him? She had no idea whether to run downstairs or to hide. That decision, however, was made for her. Her door flew open, and a tall soldier was visible in the doorway, glaring at her. The cries of her family members and friends were tuned out as Anne only thought of one thing. She stood up and followed the soldier out of her room, down the stairs, and into the back of a truck. "So this is it." She said quietly to herself. "I'll never see him, my one true love, ever again. And all those years of hiding... they were for naught." Then, Anne realized that she left her precious diary up in her room. She broke loose from the officer, and made a dash back into the shop, when he removed a gun from his holster and fired a shot in her direction. Anne fell to the floor.
Anne lay on the floor, feeling searing pain run through her leg, where the bullet had met its mark. The Gestapo officer menacingly moved towards her, grinning, when all of a sudden there was a blinding flash of light, causing the officer to shield his eyes. A huge cloud of smoke appeared next to Anne, blocking her from the soldier's vision. When the smoke cleared, he was in for quite a surprise. There was Goku, holding Anne in his arms, standing next to a huge metal capsule. "Goku!" cried Anne "You came back... for me!" Goku smiled. "Anything for you, my dear." He said. "Our love will never be lost... not until the end of time." The Gestapo officer turned tail and ran, but Goku was too quick for him. After laying Anne on the concrete, he dashed towards the Nazi and knocked him to the ground, unconscious, with only one blow. "Nazi scum." Muttered Goku as he spit on his enemy's limp body, then returned to Anne. "Here, I have something for you." Goku said, as he removed a small bean from his pocket. "What on earth is this?" asked Anne. Goku smiled, remember how ignorant she was to what was everyday life to him. "A senzu bean." He said. "Just eat it, and it will cure your leg." Anne followed his instructions and popped the bean into her mouth, as the wound on her calve magically healed. "Now come on." Commanded Goku. "We've got some Nazi ass to kick." Anne jumped on the mysterious Saiyan's back, as he launched off into the sky.
After only a few moments, the two of them arrived in Berlin. Tanks were parading down the street, as Adolf Hitler himself stood on a platform overlooking it all. "Stay here." Goku said, dropping Anne in a shaded area under a tree. He then flew straight towards the parade of tanks, fist outstretched, screaming as loud as he could. The soldiers below scattered in terror, while the tanks tried to aim their cannons at him. He was too quick and nimble for them, however, and opened the hatch of a nearby Panzer, then headed inside. After dispatching of the soldiers in control of the war machine, he took the wheel. He fired round after round into the crowds of Nazi soldiers, occasionally firing at the other tanks. After only minutes, there was nothing but a cloud of dust and corpses. Goku emerged from the tank's hatch, smiling now that he had done his duty. When all of the dust cleared, there were only two people remaining on the parade ground: Goku, the Saiyan hero, and Adolf Hitler, the most evil man ever to walk the earth.
Anne watched from nearby fearfully as she saw the two men stare at each other for what seemed like hours. Her one true love, and her ultimate oppressor. It had come down to this. "So," Hitler said jovially "You took out all of my men. However, you aren't going to defeat me." Hitler then jumped down from his platform and down onto the street in front of Goku, pulling a chain gun from the ground nearby. Goku quickly jumped behind a ruined tank, as Adolf opened fire. The tank made decent cover, but it wasn't long until it would be torn apart by the hail of bullets. Goku had to act. He dashed out from the side of the tank, and flew as fast as he could toward Hitler, who had no time to react. He grabbed the chain gun out of his enemy's hands, and snapped it over his knee with ease. Hitler stumbled backwards, shocked at the turn of events. Goku smirked, then said "It's come down to this. You and me. Fighting like men. If you admit defeat now, I'll kill you rather painlessly." Goku had the definite advantage. Or so it seemed. Hitler burst into a laugh, as Goku looked on quizzically. The mustachioed man slowly rose into the air, as his brown hair and pencil moustache turned a blonde color, and his brown eyes turned blue. Goku reeled in horror. Hitler continued laughing, then finally said "Goku! You came here expecting to find a madman, but instead, you found a GOD!" Hitler had become a Super Saiyan.
Hitler had become a Super SaiyanOnce more. Just in case.
Hitler had become a Super SaiyanHoly fuck.
Anne looked on in awe, not sure what was going on. At first, it seemed like her lover would win the battle, but now she was not so sure. Goku now seemed scared of his opponent, and it was for a good reason. Hitler continued to speak "Goku, can't you see? I've reached a power level 10 TIMES anything you've ever achieved! Your fate is sealed, weakling." Even though the battle seemed unwinnable, Goku charged in, screaming at the top of his lungs. Every blow he struck with was deflected off of Hitler's rock hard body. Hitler waited for Goku to tire himself out, then raised his fist and punched Goku. And one punch was enough. Goku was knocked across the street into a large propaganda poster of Hitler, thudding to the cold, hard ground. Hitler laughed, thinking that victory was in his hands at last. Goku, however, was not ready to give up. Bruised and battered, he rose from the ground, limping in Hitler's direction. The Nazi leader laughed. "You still want to fight? Don't you know when to give up, boy? You can hardly walk. And you expect to beat ME? Conqueror of Europe?" Goku ignored Adolf's taunts as he continued to stumble his way forward. Finally, the two archrivals were standing face to face. Goku stared Hitler into the eye, then screamed "This... is for LOVE!" and flew up into the sky, his hair turning blonde, his eyes blue, and an aura of power radiating from him. Hitler looked on in horror at Goku. He had made the ultimate achievement. He had become a Super Ultra Power Saiyan. Goku made a cup shape with his hands, aiming at Hitler, as he belted out the words "Kame... Hame... HAAAAA!" as a beam of pure energy shot at his enemy, disintegrating the Nazi leader's body. Goku then collapsed to the ground in a heap, exhausted from the fight. Two years later: Anne and Goku had finally reached the date of their wedding. After the battle, Anne and Goku destroyed the time machine and took a boat to Australia. They changed their names and lived new lives, ready to start over. The two young people looked into each others eyes as they kissed, as the reverend pronounced them man and wife. Finally, it seemed, Anne was at peace. And they would always be together, until the end of time.I, uh...bleaagaarrgh.
This obviously could have gone a lot worse. I would like to think ois just some very misguided kid who would like to imagine a happier life for Anne Frank that what fate gave her. And yet I still count this as one of the most wrong things I've ever read.
You know, I've been thinking a lot about having kids recently. And I know I am and have been a bad, bad man. I worry that karma is just waiting to kick me in the ass for me to sire a child, that all my past sins will come back to haunt me in the form of a young boy or girl WHO WRITES FAN FICTION ABOUT GOKU AND ANNE FRANK. This keeps me up at night.
Comments
Hitler continued laughing, then finally said "Goku! You came here expecting to find a madman, but instead, you found a GOD!"
You know you're in for a ride when the author rips of lines from Street Fighter....
Posted 12/19/2008 at 10:19:10 AM
Posted 12/19/2008 at 10:19:46 AMThat certainly was bad but at least there wasn't some weird giant monkey/jew girl sex scene.
"Now come on." Commanded Goku. "We've got some Nazi ass to kick."
Friggin Awesome!!!
Posted 12/19/2008 at 10:21:02 AMI just got done hearing all about Will Smith's jellyfish antics in "Seven Pounds" and then I pop by and have to experience this. I'm not sure how much more insanity my mind can take today...
Posted 12/19/2008 at 10:28:02 AMI..uhh...what? Head asplodes
Posted 12/19/2008 at 10:29:44 AMWith the Snarf breeding manual I thought that we had reached the ultimate point at which madness and just plain wrongness intersect. Then this.
I think I need to curl up in the fetal position and weep for the next thousand years.
You owe me lunch, I just lost mine reading this.
But "We've got some Nazi ass to kick." is the best thing I have ever read.
Ever.
Posted 12/19/2008 at 10:34:54 AMWell, that's actually... one of the most original things I have ever read.
Posted 12/19/2008 at 10:38:13 AMSee, the crazy thing is, Hitler becoming Super Saiyan actually kinda makes sense in a weird sort of way. Brown hair turning blond? Brown eyes turning blue? Sounds like Hitler finally became a shining example of the pure Aryan race to me.
Posted 12/19/2008 at 10:43:40 AMThat one was... Very, very strange.
Posted 12/19/2008 at 10:50:36 AMI couldn't do it. I got halfway through and I think I had a stroke or something...
Posted 12/19/2008 at 11:03:19 AMSuper saiya jin whatevers have green eyes, not blue.
Posted 12/19/2008 at 11:05:49 AMKris-
Not if you're Hitler, as badNflu3nce pointed out it makes sense.
Posted 12/19/2008 at 11:07:47 AMTo TB:
"Now come on." Commanded Goku. "We've got some Nazi ass to kick."
---Oh snap! That shit is off the hook!---
Seriously, that line alone is the kick ass phrase of 2008.
Posted 12/19/2008 at 11:25:47 AMThis is officially the best (worst) FFF in history. No amount of buttrape could top this. I really couldn't have asked for a better holiday present. This is getting linked to EVERYBODY.
Posted 12/19/2008 at 11:37:33 AMAh no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Posted 12/19/2008 at 12:38:21 PM"See, the crazy thing is, Hitler becoming Super Saiyan actually kinda makes sense in a weird sort of way. Brown hair turning blond? Brown eyes turning blue? Sounds like Hitler finally became a shining example of the pure Aryan race to me."
Absolutely. And for the record, Hitler's favorite movie was King Kong, or so says my edition of Trivial Pursuit. And Goku can turn into a giant monkey. And wears (in the cartoon) a red suit with a black on white spheric symbol on it. Eerily, maybe retardedly, all this shit makes some sense. Of course, I doubt it was ever intentional on Toriyama's part.
Posted 12/19/2008 at 02:04:58 PMI really hope the Dragonball movie does well because I need to see this on the big screen.
Posted 12/19/2008 at 02:10:29 PMThis week was okay, but nothing will ever be as amazing as the Snarf-breeding handbook.
Posted 12/19/2008 at 02:34:21 PMIf Hitler could turn into a Super Saiyan. He would've won WW2 for sure.
Posted 12/19/2008 at 02:56:11 PMFor some reason, I routinely confuse Anne Frank with Helen Keller so this FFF turned out to be more normal than I was prepared for.
Posted 12/19/2008 at 03:56:44 PMI wonder if theres rules for cheating involving time travel, like if you hook up with someone in the past, its not cheating, because your current girlfriend/wife/whatever hasn't been born yet.
Posted 12/19/2008 at 04:03:23 PMOnly if you're Catholic...
Posted 12/19/2008 at 06:07:04 PM"This... is for LOVE!"
Goku made a cup shape with his hands, aiming at Hitler,
. . . as a beam of pure energy shot at his enemy, disintegrating the Nazi leader's body.
After the battle, Anne and Goku destroyed
the time machine and took a boat to AUSTRALIA.
- - - - - - - - -
Ha ha ha ha ha I don't know why I think
Posted 12/19/2008 at 08:43:47 PMit's so funny they went to Australia, but
that's the best part for me.
My brain fails to compute how somebody could actually write this...but I appreciate knowing it exists.
Posted 12/19/2008 at 10:30:45 PMEven if it scares me.
"To Anne Frank, a Jew hiding from the Nazis, it seemed like a year."
Thank goodness for that modifier, "a Jew hiding from the Nazis"; otherwise, I wouldn't have known which Anne Frank the story meant.
Seriously, this is too tasteless for words. Obviously, the author doesn't realize how monumentally stupid his idea (of a Goku / Anne Frank crossover) is, and I'm sure he meant this with no bad intent. But that doesn't change the fact that this story lacks any semblance of taste whatsoever.
Posted 12/20/2008 at 08:24:59 AMIn a weird way, Hitler secretly being a Super Saiyan explains a lot more about his fascination with Aryans than anything I've ever seen, heard, and read combined.
Posted 12/20/2008 at 08:42:15 AMMy god. It's full of stars."
Posted 12/20/2008 at 10:44:23 AMI got to
"Hitler had become a Super Saiyan"
and then I finally collapsed of laughter.
And then you repeated it two more times and it took forever for me to regain composure. Well done.
Rob and BadNflu3nce, you guys have seriously made my day. Thank you so much.
Posted 12/20/2008 at 02:57:59 PM"So," Hitler said jovially "You took out all of my men. However, you aren't going to defeat me."
This and all of the other lines quoted (Nazi ass, "This is for...LOVE") were so damn funny it was ridiculous. But even more so is that the writer has actually read "The Diary of Anne Frank" or is at least familiar with it- he mentions Peter and Margot- both people in the Annex. Just crazy.
I'm so glad there wasn't any sex- it would have ruined it (Anne was like, 13 at the time). The way it is makes it just plain funny- who is the Mary Sue? Who knows...
Posted 12/20/2008 at 06:13:13 PM"Now come on." Commanded Goku. "We've got some Nazi ass to kick."
Again??
"Now come on." Commanded Goku. "We've got some Nazi ass to kick."
Damn, this was awesome. One of the best phrases I´ve seen in the whole year.
Posted 12/22/2008 at 09:27:02 AMAm I the only one who wonders why they were wed by a reverend and not a rabbi?
Posted 12/23/2008 at 07:13:09 AM@ Someone:
No, I wondered that as well...after I picked up the pieces of my head and put it back together.
Posted 12/23/2008 at 07:30:32 AM*stares in awe at the screen*
Posted 12/25/2008 at 04:12:47 PMI seriously have no idea what to say to this...I laughed, I cried, and i think I may have died a little inside. I'm simply in complete and utter awe at this...yep
I always feel bad when I see a fic appear on FFF which I have already had the misfortune of witnessing. This is one of these instances.
I'd love to know what the hell made this person (and their brother?!) think an Anne Frank and Goku pairing would be a good basis for a fanfic.
As other people have mentioned, though... Hitler would have bloody loved being a Super Saiyan. Blonde hair, blue eyes, super strength. Fun times for him. Too bad Goku's power level is over nine thousand. SuperHitlerSaiyan never had a chance.
Posted 12/27/2008 at 06:09:57 PMdo you guys not see the controversy this writer has made? How easily his audience reacts to a story about Anne Frank and Goku. Tell me.. what is really wrong with it? Just because it is labeled as Fan Fiction automatically makes it garbage? Sure it's not the best story, not gonna lie, but it was probably better than half the shit you guys would have wrote about. I think this story is awesome. It really depicts the ridiculous nature of Dragon Ball and the harsh reality of Anne Frank just in a couple of paragraphs. Do you guys not think Anne Frank would have liked dragonball? Her life was morbid.. this is an escape to fantasy. If i was in my postmodern literature class i'm sure we could have pulled at least twenty different meanings to this story, especially the line about getting goku and anne getting married through reverend instead of a rabbi. I think there are a lot of hidden messages in this story.
Posted 02/14/2009 at 11:12:18 AMBut then again lets not waste our time, it's only fanfiction bullshit. amirite???
Sorry i'm just a little riddled at how some people choose to be so closed minded just because the story is about Anne Frank and Goku. But w/e, fuk it.
"We've got some Nazi ass to kick."
Hitler had become a Super Saiyan
XD Oh. My. God. This made me laugh so much.
Posted 02/14/2009 at 02:07:57 PMlike kris said, super saiyans have green eyes, not blue. maybe hitler was an exception, but not goku.
Posted 02/18/2009 at 12:06:05 AMCK, chill out, man! Most of us are just astounded that this is out. Also, as a writer (Original works) This is pretty terrible from a writer's perspective. Never mind the fact that it is a crossover between the true story of a young girl who suffered and died in a concentration camp and a fictional character from an anime. I feel horrible laughing about how bad it is...Although I did...a lot. Oh, and I read plenty of amazing fanfiction. This is not one of them.
Posted 02/18/2009 at 03:13:49 PMThe only thing that appaued me about this fanficwas how innaccurate it was for someone who calls themself a Goku fan!
Goku would not spit on an enemy, no matter how evil. He's pure of heart plus saiyans are known for having their pride if nothing else. Spitting on someone takes all your pride away in an instant.
He would not have attacked the whole of hitlers army, only Vegeta or an angry young gohan would go straight for the attack. And even if he were to attack the army, he would have used his fists/a Ki blast, which he would be quite capable of given that he was able to turn "ultra super sayian" which he only was able to do around the Cell saga.
And besides, why would he walk out on chi-chi and gohan? especially when Cell was knocking at the door.
Posted 02/19/2009 at 06:24:55 AMSingle most epic thing i've ever read. Most shittiest thing ever, but still hilarious.
Posted 02/20/2009 at 04:42:40 PMI couldn't do it D:
Posted 02/22/2009 at 10:11:20 AMwow...
i'm speechless
Posted 02/22/2009 at 04:43:17 PManne Frank / anime crossover. how between the concept and the publication online did no one stop this?
ck, i do agree that writing should not be judged on genre. having said it should be judged on quality, and this peice is monumentally poor by any standard. I actually felt bruised after reading it.
god i laughed though...
Posted 02/23/2009 at 06:45:38 PMI can see it now: Sequel
Vegeta and Helen Keller
"woman make me a sandwich" yelled Vegeta.
Helen made a ketchup, oickes, and dead deer sandwich.
the end.
Posted 02/23/2009 at 07:29:47 PMPlease feel proud. Never once in my entire history of internetting have I EVER commented on anything I've ever seen or read. I had to tell you how terribly funny this is. I'm sitting at my desk (hotel concierge) and I could hardly control myself. I had to do that quite laugh thing that sounds like grunting...? Eech. There's a man in the lobby who probably thinks I've just had a seizure. Or maybe five seizures. Don't get me wrong, that was an awful piece...but I take it you were mocking fanfic (which I commend you for, I hate that stuff). All in all, good job. And thanks for embarrassing me. :)
Posted 02/24/2009 at 05:40:18 PMyo ck is the original poster no one would get that angry over posts insulting a work unless they themselfs did it. all that inner meaning bull was a cover. hes the one who wrote it.
also very very very funny. why was goku dodging bullets, bullets dont work on a man who is able to destroy the earth with his hands.
Posted 02/25/2009 at 08:39:02 AMDude...it's dumb but it's not that fucking bad. It's stupid as fuck, certainly. But it's also not offensive enough to make a big deal about. Who gives a fuck - it's just a shitty excuse for FanFic. Move on. End of story.
Posted 02/25/2009 at 01:09:43 PMWhere's the fan art to go with it??!!
XD
Posted 02/26/2009 at 05:02:08 PMActually, one guy reviewed this, HE SOOO FUNNY!!!
Check out his review of this pile of donkey crap.
http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/boredshitless/the-sage/fanfic-theatre/5040-masterpiece-fanfic-theatre-episode-2
THIS REVIEW IS A MUST-SEE!!!!!! HILARIOUS!!
All I have to say about this fic is that, if I wasn't going to hell before, I certainly am now.
Posted 03/01/2009 at 08:15:39 AMAs tasteless (and hilarious) as this "fanfic" is; I think Gofer-chan only wrote it for the attention. In other words, it's a god-awfully funny trollfic.
Posted 03/01/2009 at 08:35:55 AMAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Posted 03/01/2009 at 09:38:12 PMHitler had become a Super Saiyan.
This is epic fail. Who thinks this stuff up?!
I seriously can't stop laughing at this. It's just SO BAD! I nearly pissed my pants laughing when Hitler turned into a super saiyan.
Good times...
Posted 03/03/2009 at 11:28:21 AMHitler continued laughing, then finally said "Goku! You came here expecting to find a madman, but instead, you found a GOD!" Hitler had become a Super Saiyan.'
Posted 03/08/2009 at 03:25:24 PMI AM DEAD.
ahaha oh jesus.
i want to personally give whoever wrote this horrific, blasphemous, beautiful thing a cookie.
Posted 03/15/2009 at 10:35:33 AMMy friends and I once adapted this fanfic into a play and performed it for our club at school. Oh the things we do for fun. I've unfortunately lost the adapted manuscript, but I played Anne Frank.
Posted 03/16/2009 at 02:52:27 PMThis is it.
I have to kill myself.
That's it.
It's over.
Game over, man, game over.
Posted 03/16/2009 at 09:09:58 PMI love you stumbleupon!
I can't wait for the movie.
Posted 03/19/2009 at 03:15:46 AMThis is the single greatest achievement that mankind has ever accomplished.
Posted 05/20/2009 at 08:41:54 AMi nomiates dis autor for president of the world
Posted 05/23/2009 at 10:33:35 PMThis is totally awesome, and anyone who says different is dead inside.
Posted 06/05/2009 at 02:45:36 PMawesome!
Posted 06/21/2009 at 02:25:52 AM