That breakfast looks fit as. Square sausage and black pudding is a rare treat.

I seriously think I love you for this article. Someone else remembers the awesome Bag of Devouring Ecology article in Dragon!

Oh man. I remember being a dickhead DM and using some of these creatures to really put the fear of me into the players' hearts.

I still remember a friend of mine who left our campaign and would never play with us again because he was getting all uppity about his new armor and sword. I was real d-bag, though. Rather than have him run into the Rust Monster while travelling the dungeon, I had the rust monster attack while he was asleep. When my friend attacked the guy who was on guard but didn't see the rust monster until it was too late, I was so tempted to give them both tetanus.

Thanks for letting me relive my days as a jerk DM.

God-damned rot worms... *still seething about that one*

God, I remember all these. And I think I was the victim of every one at some point. Maybe not the Xorn--that's one of those monsters that makes you want to ask what in the hell the TSR offices were smoking.

More D&D lists! Huzzah!

re: 2 and 3

so, what's the difference between a trapper and a lurker above?

What's the difference between a stalagtite, and a stalagmite?

"...the difference between the Battle of Thermopylae and the Battle of the Network Stars."

This made me snort my coffee. King Leonidas vs. Lynda Carter! Who will win?!?

Too funny.

re: Eric

What's the difference between a stalagtite, and a stalagmite?

Point taken, but a stalactite (sp) couldn't really be mistaken for a stalagmite, should it fall from the ceiling. Not so with the trapper/lurker above, I think...which is sort of the point of the entry, isn't it?

Personally I would put the Carrion Crawler in that list, mostly because one of them gave one of my characters the most horrific death I've seen a D&D Character face.

A trio of fairly low level characters on a D&D3 (3.5?) dungeon crawl, my character was a fighter in full plate. The team runs into a Carrion Crawler. After a few rounds where all of our meager remove paralysis is used up (aside from some supplies cached at our hideaway/sleep spot) we're fleeing with my character trying to hold the rear (ie. being the slowest mover) when he gets paralyzed. Because of the full plate, and some lousy DM rolls, the Carrion Crawler couldn't take down my character's hit points very fast. The other two race back to the cache to get what was needed to unparalyse my character and race back. It took them about 40 rounds (that we actually rolled out the attacks and damage the Crawler was doing) round trip at a run before they got back in sight of my character, just in time to see him go from bleeding to dead. I believe it actually was the same round they came within sight of my character that he died.

I can't think of moany things more horrific than being paralyzed, your friends run off, and being nibbled to death over the course of 4 minutes @_@

Thank you for this loving stroll down memory lane. It makes me want to go find a bully and explain to him why he shouldn't beat on me because I'm a 12th level paladin and my charisma is, like, through the roof.

where is the Vrock and Catoblepas? Those were so damned hideous

I remember, waaaaay back when, in First Ed. when I was a DM for the first time and going through the Monster Manual for things to put in my dungeon.
I came across a Piercer and did a 'wtf'? Totally impossible, illogical and made no sense at all.
...I filled a whole cave with them, as a joke, but apparently it was an acceptable thing to do and was declared an 'awesome adventure'.

Go figger.

Nice summary, Ive been a DM for more then a decade now and there are some monsters Id like to add this this list.
- Disenchanter: Its sole purpose seems to be to destroy the magic items the party has.

-Ethereal Filcher: a pick pocket that can flee where no one at that level can follow? you dont see it coming, you cant get back your treasure

-Geriavar: Gargantuan giant that hates buildings, this one seems to be created to destroy PC's strongholds.

- Ghost Dragon: Finally you have slain the dragon and taken its hoard! time to relax and enjoy life. oh wait, the dragon is back, now it cant be permanently killed UNLESS you return all the treasure you stole from it, after which the dragon vanishes(along with the treasure, who says you cant take it with you?). Killing dragons is hard enough, Players have earned the treasure setting an unkillable tax collector on them sounds like cheating to me.

-Rust Dragon: like the rust monster but bigger, meaner, faster and more intelligent. did I mention it could fly? it can fly........

When DM-ing Ive made sure never to include such monsters as random encounters or as something that cant be avoided(a rust monster behind a wooden door with a peephole in it was ok but not a rustmonster just charging down a corridor)

cause lets face it, killing player characters often doesnt need the DM's interference, Ive always found the most deadly creature to adventurers was the standard kobold with the 5000gp gem. after a few of those people either learn about coorperation or get really good at character creation(both are a blessing to a DM in my opinion)

Anyone who has been the the DDO (Dungeons and Dragons Online) forums has come to fear and respect the power of the Gelatinous Cube.

It's good to see none of these has survived to the 4th ed. Monster Manual, for the very reasons you state.

Loved the list, brought back a ton of memories... you really could get some laughs doing the most ridiculous monsters by edition or an overall list.

Fwumphs anyone? (atleast i remember them being called that)

What about Green Slime? Make a save or die in 1d4 rounds, no matter what level you are.

In our games, the Trapper/Lurker Above was the same creature but different sexes. The Lurkers were the males and the Trappers were the females. This later led to the "Confused wall of hermaphroditism," a lurker who did not know what it was and hung on the wall – often falling down and wriggling about idiotically when trying to attack.

Don't think they're not in 4th ed though because most of them are...
The various oozes (including the cube) are now environmental hazards/traps.

Xorn? Really? I don't recall them being much more than a nuisence.

Ghost Dragon: Finally you have slain the dragon and taken its hoard! time to relax and enjoy life. oh wait, the dragon is back, now it cant be permanently killed UNLESS you return all the treasure you stole from it, after which the dragon vanishes(along with the treasure, who says you cant take it with you?). Killing dragons is hard enough, Players have earned the treasure setting an unkillable tax collector on them sounds like cheating to me.

May I recomend the Nilbog from the original Fiend Folio? They were reversed goblins which were only harmed with things that heal and had the maddening effect of making PC's give them all their treasure.

Oh man. As a DM, I loved the mimic. I ran an entire session based off of John Carpenter's "The Thing" where there was an advanced mimic (just a mimic with a few extra surprises) that was a joy to run. The best quote I can remember from that session was "HOLY SWEET BEEJEEBERS! The bed just ate Jerrod!" - and the chase was on. The party couldn't go outside because of a horrible snowstorm (hey, if it works, go with it). They did survive the night and manage to leave when the storm broke, but just before they left, I passed a note to two players saying that a small footlocker that was up against the wall just a moment ago has dissappeared. (I love leaving things open for a sequel.)

[quote]
And that's how every adventurer has a rot grub story.
[/quote]

Heh. Mine involves a player with a low-level mage character. He thought he could breed rot grubs and use them as biological warfare. Pay urchins to bring him dead dogs or cats or whatever, raise the grubs on the corpses, and bottle several in glass jars to be uses as 'grenades'.

Not a bad plan, except for the dead animals that were dumped in front of his place when he stopped paying for them, local magistrates unhappy with a pit of rotting meat on the edge of town, the time it took for the grubs to actually burrow in and kill something even if everything went perfectly ('No, the hydra doesn't drop dead the moment it became infected.'), the adult form from one of the later Manuals that wreaked havoc in the Butchers' District as the grubs grew and completed their life cycle...

For me, it was Stirges. The second campaign I was in, the DM (my future hubby) decided to add a few of them to the cave we were in. They totally drained my poor rogue (the party scout) in just a matter of rounds. He found it to be so funny that they seemed to pop up in every campaign after that. Got to the point where all I wanted to play was fighter types just so that I might have a chance to survive. No more rogues or mages for me for a while. Eventually he stopped, only throwing them in one last time as a nostalgic offering to my then 19th lvl rogue, she survived (easily). He said they were a gift just for me. (how romantic, giggle)

Gelatinous cube: There's always a 10x10 foot room for jello!

Rot grubs: back in the real world, look up bot flies. Bleah, wiggins.

Having been DMing since the grand old days (1979), I found this list brought more than a few giggles as I fondly recalled these critters. I still remember a dwarven fighter and his human fighter pal caught in a hallway by a Gelatinous Cube. All they saw in the dimly lit hall was pieces of armour and a few weapons "floating" towards them. Brave and stupid to a fault (pretty much the standard expectations of fighters even back in the 80's), the Human Fighter picked up the dwarf and threw him towards the floating armoury...*snicker*

The Ghost Dragon comes from 3.5 Draconomicon and its designed to let a ghost keep more of its 'innate draconic power and deadliness'

the Ghost dragon can be killed, but like all ghosts it has rejuvenation. in this case the dragon needs to make a DC 16 level check (1d20+HD) to reform in 2d4 days)

oh and I know Stirges, never liked the way the buggers looked but used them in a random encounter once, if they dont kill the party they will surely cripple them.

I like the idea of someone trying to breed dangerous creatures for their own use, like those grubs :)

These are all great monsters, except the Xorn, which stands out as being the only thing on the list you can actually reason with, if you have some gems handy...

But what about the Ear Seeker? Those things were great! Listen to the door one too many times and....ewww...a little ear insect runs in, lays some eggs, and a few days later, the grubs eat your brain. Awesome.

Also, any "Level Draining" undead should be on the list, as these are the one monster type I have regularly seen the most powerful character tuck tail and run from.

The propeller on the rust monster? It came from a plastic toy. Gygax bought a big bag of plastic toys, made in Taiwan; he apparently did this all the time to get new monsters for his games. He came across the propeller-tailed antenna thing. He looked at it, said 'This is a rust monster', and proceeded to figure out what, exactly, that meant.

So some toy designer for cheap plastic monsters who probably toiled in obscurity and died alone and unacknowledged was the genius behind the propeller-tail on the rust monster.

I had a friend who punched a gelatinous cube once....his hand melted off, but he survived, but just with a hook for one hand.

The Tarrasque...A unique monster so terrible that it takes a wish to destroy. Against a low level party it's overkill, any gm that would have to resort to that needs to find a new hobby...

Versus a high level party it's just free Experience on the hoof.

The last one we fought lasted less than ten rounds.

We're not a bunch of power gaming kinder hacking and slashing our way through a Monty Hall ref. We're mostly second term Ike babies who have been playing since the OLD 3 book original game. I'm the baby of the group and I've been playing since 78. Our high level characters are all 10th to 15th level.

It's not just the stupid monsters that are stupid.

And it's not just DEENDEE. Look up Kill kittens and zoomers from Arduin sometime...Sheeesh.

I escaped the rot worms, mostly because when I was sixteen and very spoiled about touching anything greasy or dirty I used an old rusty sword we found to fish out the shiny metalic object. DM just looked at me and called me a daisy. I looked back at him and said hell no I don't dig in poop in real life and I will never imagine doing it either. By the way yes I have now worked digging up plumbing lines......real life turned out to be the real unforseen monster and God the true prick DM.

i want more....ive designed a wizards version of a trap
i figure i will post it here
this combo is devistaing

have a foe you need to get rid of
have the spell alarm going when set off
cast spell Awaken from Afar to set off a rune or scroll or wand or rune of ...Reality Maelstrom
referenced from here
http://gez117.free.fr/dnd/spelllists/webspelllist.html

Improved Alarm or Alarm

Reality Maelstrom - Reality Maelstrom-Hole in reality sends to a random plane.

Awaken from Afar -Allows you to remotely activate a spell-trigger item

if anyone has any ideas to improve this let me know
if this dosnt fit into standard rules dont tell me
just tell me how to do it right

Talking of gelatinous cubes - my DM once had me trapped in a stone library - with shelves from floor to ceiling, and an epic sized gelatinous cube coming at me from both ends of an aisle. The only thing I had that could have a chance of getting me out - was a wand of wonder. Multiple zaps later, I finally managed to turn it to stone - after it had become multi-coloured, covered in grass, petals, had been lightning bolted and fire balled (the latter which burnt me too). Of course, once it was solid stone, I was pretty much trapped in there - and then only managed to dig my way free with a scroll of stone shape...