The Band That Goes to Warp 11

By Rob Bricken in Nerdery
Wednesday, April 22, 2009 at 4:00 pm

Warp 11 is a band that plays -- exclusively, as far as I can tell -- Star Trek-themed sex rock, whose new album "I Don't Want to Go to Heaven as Long as They have Vulcans in Hell" hits on May 5th. This is a little video promoting the album, which has blown my fucking mind. Please be warned before you watch it that is full of horrors for which no man can ever truly prepare himself, yet also so much awesomeness that it almost end up okay. I've divided them up for you:

HORROR BEYOND COMPREHENSION
• A pudgy man in a terrifying Spock mask in a hot tub
A pudgy man in a terrifying Spock mask caressing the male lead singer of Warp 11 while in a hot tub
A pudgy man in a terrifying Spock mask possibly masturbating the male lead singer of Warp 11 with a Klingon spaceship toy while in a hot tub

AWESOMENESS BEYOND UNDERSTANDING
• A song called "Jim Beam Me Up"
• A song with the lyrics "I'm gonna tap that ass like George Takei"

Even though I never want to see this video again, and every think I think about those guys in the hot tub I'll probably cry, this band is clearly awesome (and contains a hot chick, for those too chicken-shit to watch the video) and I approve wholeheartedly. Check out their site for music videos and tour dates and tell 'em Topless Robot sent ya.

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