The 10 Most Memorable Monsters (and Other Things) Encountered by the Red Dwarf Crew

By Rob Bricken in Daily Lists, TV
Friday, August 21, 2009 at 8:00 am
By Kevin J. Guhl

The creators of Red Dwarf, Rob Grant and Doug Naylor, gave themselves a monumental storytelling challenge when they made the edict that their space-faring show would include not one alien being. In spite of this, Red Dwarf had enough conflict between its main characters to fill several episode. When various monsters, robots and other adversaries and friends did show up, they were cleverly the warped progeny that a now (almost) extinct human race had left behind. And some were created by the hapless "Boys from the Dwarf" themselves. Here are the 10 most memorable:

10) Mutton Vindaloo Beast

A DNA-modifying machine was the probably not the best thing to fall into the hands of the Red Dwarf crew. Kryten was accidentally turned into a human, but soon realized he missed being a mechanoid and asked to be changed back. The crew stupidly decided to test the machine on a dish of Lister's favorite food and naturally unleashed a beast that was "half man, half extra Indian curry!" The beast met its match when the DNA machine was used to turn Lister into a mini Robocop, who figured out (in a death scene that was an homage to Jaws) the surefire way to kill a vindaloo -- a nice, cold lager.

9) The Grim Reaper

Death's appearance in Red Dwarf was brief and in the last scene of the series before it went on hiatus for a decade. He menacingly approached Rimmer, who was trapped in Red Dwarf as a rust virus ate it away and fires raged. But Rimmer was not so ready to meet Death again, and promptly gave him a swift knee to the gonads. "That's never happened before!" Death muttered in surprise as he collapsed in pain and Rimmer did what he did best -- ran away.

8) Epideme

If a virus could talk, what would it say? It would probably give you sass and taunt you about how it's succeeding in its job of turning you into a walking ball of puss, which is pretty much what happened when Lister got to talk with the virus that was infecting him. He got infected when the frozen body of a former crush was brought on board and sprang to life so it could force the virus into Lister's mouth with a really gross kiss. As Lister complained to Kryten, "I've just been molested by Tutankhamun's horny grandma!" Leave it to the ever practical Kristine Kochanksi to come up with the solution -- trick the virus into moving down her ex-boyfriend's arm and then cut off said arm! Yee-ouch!

7) Pete

All that the Red Dwarf crew's fellow Tank prisoner Birdman had in this universe was his pet sparrow Pete. When Pete suddenly dropped dead and the Birdman was devastated, the Dwarvers did what any good-natured prsioners would do -- they used a Time Wand to bring Pete back to life. Of course, this plan backfired and devolved Pete into a Tyrannosaurs Rex that went on a rampage through the ship and ate his former owner. Pete was reverted back to his former harmless self, but not before he consumed the Red Dwarf's entire supply of mint-choc ice cream, orange ice-pops and Coca-Cola, resulting in a sore dino tummy and a tidal wave of diarrhea that drenched the ship's captain.

6) Cassandra

Cassandra, a computer that could see the future with 100% accuracy, was such a bummer to have around (since she had no hesitance about telling everyone how they would die), that the ship containing her was abandoned at the bottom of a sea. When the Red Dwarf crew found her, she revealed that Rimmer (since he was alive again at this point) had but minutes to live, and furthermore that Lister would kill him in a jealous rage when he discovered Rimmer in bed with Christine Kochanski. Rimmer saw getting laid as a reason to celebrate, however, and Kochanski became convinced to go along with fate despite her disgust. Kryten, however, figured out the whole scenario was a revenge scheme by Cassandra to get back at Lister for killing her. Lister balked at this idea, then accidentally set off a Rube Goldberg-esque mini-disaster that blew up Cassandra with an electrical discharge. Oopsie!
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