By Rob Bricken in
Merchandise
Thursday, Jan. 28 2010 @ 10:07AM
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here is a place in the Pacific Ocean - the farthest place from land on all sides. In the depths of this pole of inaccessibility a sunken city sleeps. And in that city of R'lyeh, far below the waves and the sunlight and the happiness, dreams the Great Cthulhu. And what does the Great Malignant One dream about? Companionship. See, Cthulhu is in love with love. And the Great One exudes a scent to attract lovers. Three sailors went mad making sure this scent was bottled and shipped to our warehouses. We think it was well worth it, though, because now we can offer you Cthulhu in Love Perfume.
Working with the brilliant scent-ologists at the Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab (you know 'em; you love 'em), we are ever so proud to present this unique and totally ThinkGeek Exclusive perfume. The scent is intoxicating, described by its creators as "an amorphous mix of oppressive, piceous ritual incense, macerated kelp, sea salt, sticky dark ocean plants, and . . . mixed chocolates." That means this is what Cthulhu smells like when he wants to get it on. Seriously, you're going to adore the magic, ancient, sensual, and (dare we say) arousing scent of Cthulhu in Love Perfume.
Seriously, even at $20, this is the worst idea ever. You want to wear a scent that the dark Elder Gods, the horrors at the end of imagination, find sexy? Why not make it easier on yourself, find a giant squid with a bad attitude and a penchant for sadism, and ask it to rape you? I guarantee it'll still be more pleasant than if Cthulhu sees you and starts singing Flight of the Conchords' "Business Time" song.
18 comments
Comments
Greymattersplat said:
Personally, I was much more of a fan of the bleeding gummy heart:
Merle said:
Well some people do find power sexy
Frito said:
Between madness and madness lies...madness
RubyRoses said:
No lie, I sent the link to my mother yesterday, possibly the day before. I can then put it into a spray bottle and spritz my enemies.
demoncat said:
no doubt Love craft is proably smiling over how some one will no doubt buy the stuff and thus lock up the chances of driving any human mate away and also facing a fate of being the mate of some dark elder god driven mad by the smell of passion. from that stuff
Dr. Communism said:
I'd wear it. best idea evar.
rickicker said:
WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS?!!!
...wait, no, it actually smells kinda sweet and nice and rich in aromaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! MOOMMMMMMMYYYYYY!!!
AfterGlow said:
Finally, a perfume I feel caters to me, the consumer. Now I can find girls who are just as interested in tentacle porn as I am.
Thank you, Cthulhu.
Kaoy said:
"'Cthulhu in Love':-
-"Because what can possibly go wrong?"
-"You'll drive men mad."
-"Bring back the Lovecraft in your relationship."
GUMBERCULES! said:
Aaaahhhh.....smells like insanity.....
Bingo said:
Ha ha! This is crazy! If I wanted to smell like chocolate I would eat a chocolate bar.
Liz said:
OK, Cthulhu singing 'Business Time' just shattered my remaining sanity. Rule. :)
noirakita said:
I want it. bad.
pollardy said:
^^
NameofRain said:
Please forgive me, but...
WANT!!
renQuixotic said:
yessss, do want
this is prolly the only thing that'll attract Dr. Nathan Wallace beside his daughter.
Kami said:
I find our Dark Overlord very sexy ^^
Korbl said:
BPAL's R'lyeh scent isn't bad, actually, rather nice, I think. So... add chocolate... odd.
