Friday, Jul. 30 2010 @ 8:03AM
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Some of us used to think playing the game was just as good as seeing the movie (we were wrong) while others just wanted to blow shit up as a robot who was also a cop (a concept seemingly aimed at children now that we think of it). Oddly, the prevalence of video games based on R-rated flicks has decreased as the maturity level of the average gamer has increased, which sucks because we'd love to see an Expendables video game! Here's a look at some of the strangest movie videogames from the Nintendo Entertainment System and how they stacked up against the movies they were based on. 10) Rambo
This Rambo videogame is a strange beast. It's basically a sequel to First Blood, which saw John Rambo using his cunning in a wooded town to avoid getting into trouble, yet the game -- which is basically Contra or Amagon -- immediately tells you not to worry about your ridiculous fighting skills and arms you with weapons then makes you karate chop snakes to get knives. Huhwha?
9) Dirty Harry
Clint Eastwood's "Dirty" Harry Callahan was the guy on the force who got called in to do all the dirty work. He'd always get his man, no matter the situation and sometimes bend the rules to get things done. He did not, however, run around down shooting thugs left, right and center some of whom have bullets literally bounce of them, though that seems to be the premise behind the game, which seems to actually star the Terminator instead of the wry Eastwood. Also, what's with the snakes?
8) Conan the Barbarian
Arnold Schwarzenegger's Conan portrayals didn't result in the most dynamic action sequences of all time, but they shine like shooting stars compared to the awkward play of the NES game. Between awkward button combinations like having to press down to jump and three separate buttons just to pick up Conan's trademark sword and an endless supply of enemies like skeletons and gargoyles, the game just sucks.
7) Die Hard
The Die Hard game isn't so bad. Sure, it paints John McClane as a man who can literally outrun bullet sprays from machine guns, has that annoying overhead view and an even more annoying lighting scheme that darkens parts of the rooms you're in, but it does involve lots and lots of shooting, which is always cool (see every successful videogame for PS3 or 360 for proof).
6) Platoon
Here's some facts about Platoon: Going into the movie, writer/director Oliver Stone had won an Academy Award for adapting Midnight Express. Stone would go on to win best director for Platoon the same year it won best picture. The film is packed with stars like Johnny Depp, Willem Dafoe, Charlies Sheen, Tom Berenger, Forest Whitaker, Ketih David and others. Oh, and it has an NES game tie-in involving getting your ass lost in the jungle and trying not to get killed by the bad guys. We're sure that last one's pretty high on Stone's list of achievements.
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39 comments
Comments
Crazymccrazypants said:
No Friday the 13th? Or did time reverse itself and erase that game from history for being way to damn hard?
brainneek replied to Crazymccrazypants:
That's the first game that came to mind for me. That & Commando. I'm not sure if Commando was based on the game or not though.
The Monkey Machine replied to Crazymccrazypants:
I agree, Friday the 13th was the game I expected to see at number one. I was suprised that NONE of the horror games made this list. As a kid I remember scrambling to grab those games in hopes of getting some forbidden treat of nasty inside.
Apkar replied to The Monkey Machine:
Agreed! I played the shit out of the Friday the 13th when I was a 5 year old. Pitchfork FTW!
dusen replied to Crazymccrazypants:
Add one more to the list - was totally expecting Jason Voorhees at #1. I remember convincing my buddy in Grade 9 to buy that game. Man, did it ever suck.
moran replied to Crazymccrazypants:
Commando was a stand alone game. Had nothing to do with the movie, but I found that out much later in life.
McRo said:
Lethal Weapon, Mad Max, Hudson Hawk, Elm Street...I never realised how many R based games there were.
Now, if only Hellraiser was ever finished.
Nucking Futs said:
Oh man I remember Total Recall. I always thought those little bearded guys were little John Oates clones dressed in one of Prince's Purple Rain getups that just wanted Arnold's green leisure outfit he wore in the game. I would love to live in a world where we can punch little people (we all know they are evili at heart) twenty feet across an alley and women had three glorious jahoobies.
That other Dave said:
That Conan game is instantly excluded because it's not based on Conan properties at all, nor is it based on the movie series...
It's actually titled Myth: History in the Making; http://www.mobygames.com/game/myth-history-in-the-making.
You should replace it with Friday the 13th or that Predator game which had awful gameplay, but great music.
Also Terminator 2, Darkman, Alien 3, Cliffhanger, and Bram Stoker's Dracula (which was surprisingly good with a great soundtrack).
If you wanna be technical, you have both Golgo 13 games as well, which featured way too much violence and sex for the NES, which in turn made them awesome.
Monkey boy replied to That other Dave:
Alien3 was, I believe, made for SNES, not NES, though I guess maybe there could have been an 8 bit version. Also wasn't there a Predator 2 game for NES?
That other Dave replied to Monkey boy:
Shut your mouth unless you know what you're talking about. Alien3 came out for Genesis, NES, SNES, Gameboy and other systems, it was a multi system port.
Predator 2 only came out for Genesis, Game Gear and Sega Master.
MoondialSlater replied to That other Dave:
Shut your mouth unless you know what you're talking about. Predator 2 also came out for the C64, Spectrum, Amstrad CPC, Amiga & Atari ST & PC.
DJ Maniak said:
If you dig around on Facebook and add The Expendables movie page, there is an 8-Bit video game as a viral marketing tool, and it plays like Contra!
Harry Badface replied to DJ Maniak:
Nice, thanks!
MattK said:
Watch Out For Snakes!
MattK said:
I think another reason for less games based on R-rated movies today is the trend of less R-rated movies. Since people are enforcing the "no under 17 to R films" rule (ah, the 80s...how wrong we were to take you for granted), moviemakers gear more towards PG-13 films.
That other Dave replied to MattK:
There's been a few here and there in the past couple of years; Wanted, Watchmen, Saw, The Godfather, Scarface, Starship Troopers, 300, Reservoir Dogs...
And its not the R rated enforcement that has cut R rated movie games, it's the fact that video games cost so much more to make now than they did in the 80's. In the 80's 1 or 2 guys could program an entire game by themselves. Now it takes teams of people to program them. In that sense, games based on kid's movies are better properties because they sell better.
Haz said:
I had Blues Brothers for Gameboy - it was my favorite game.
Boom said:
No mention of Predator for NES. One of the worst NES games ever made. The play control was horrible and you fight giant spiders that shoot webs at you. Youtube it. It was bad.
Samuraiter said:
Good God, I've played almost all of these, and, unsurprisingly, almost all of them are utter shit. (Friday the 13th, not shown here, is in a special category of shit all to itself.) Guess the rating does not ultimately matter, since the old rule applies: If you base a video game on a movie (or vice versa, minus the awesomeness of Scott Pilgrim), you will get crap almost every time. For every Goldeneye 007, you get about a million Dirty Harries. Which sounds a lot filthier than it ought to.
X said:
I had Robocop for the nes.......
Snatch1414 said:
Watch the Angry Video Game Nerd reviews of The Terminator and Die Hard. Those games do in fact suck balls, especially Terminator.
invaderhorizongreen said:
wow i remember playing some of these and thinking they were cool now if i could only play them again...... thanks for the nostalgia rob now i need a drink
demoncat said:
surprised friday the 13th did not make the list. though given the choices on this list some things were better left off. this list shows that the video game industry still had a long ways to go . wonder how the game makers managed to get the okay for some of the games on this list knowing the kids would never be able to see the source material.
Nega said:
Rambo was a terrible game. It took me forever to find the magic spot on the opening screen to actually advance to the next level. It wasn't even clearly marked. Other people asked me how to get off that screen...I couldn't even remember how. It was like one random spot on the background.
Also, it takes forever to find human enemies and they have gun and you have a knife. Fun movie idea, awful game idea for a side scroller.
Unkl Jo said:
O_o This may make my parents horrible people, but I saw all of these movies as a child...
Jeff Manley said:
I loved the Blues Brothers as a teenager (music and movies) and I bought the PC version on clearance at Radio Shack in like 1993... and I played the hell out of it. I remember it being a whole lot better than the above video.
chutup said:
Hmm, endless maze of jungle, constant ambushes, can't see the enemy coming until they're right on top of you... the Platoon game seems like a pretty accurate simulation of the Vietnam War.
LBD "Nytetrayn" replied to chutup:
And my dad, in an amazing display of being badass, actually managed to map and beat that game, a claim few people seem to make.
Of course, he was in the real thing, so maybe that helped...
asdf said:
why there are glory holes in the street in total recall?
The Micronerd replied to asdf:
Ha! That's funny because when I was a kid, me and my friends would call them glory holes too. Seriously. How the hell can those things coming out of the holes *NOT* be interpreted as dicks?
I'm a 30's drunk said:
Well I'm drunk. But gawdam if your games don't strike a chord in my memory. I may never visit your site again but I will say I enjoyed the nvisit I had! My kids 3, no idea how I will get that same fun in head head as I had playing these games. But I'll figure something out, and hey we'll all have fun and its all cool. CHEERS!
Ad said:
No, I quite liked the Blues Brothers game...and the midi versions of the songs weren't half bad (you know, for midi versions of songs)
D said:
Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Rambo a repurposed Ikari Warriors?
Ben-Gali said:
Yo, give love to Jaws. That game was great. Random encounters, "swimming", a level up system, no Richard Dryfus. I've wasted countless hours with that game on my PSPs emulator.
And wow, I had no idea that Blue Brothers was rated R. That seems absurd. Kids NEED to see that movie so they might grow up knowing that music is real, and that being on a Mission From Gad means you can destroy 1000s of cop cars.
Das Storminator said:
How about Top Gun with it's nigh impossible carrier landing minigame at the end of every mission?
Star Carlton said:
I had that Rambo game - I remember just running around doing nothing - trying to stab people - there was no real direction or point to the game.
Nick replied to Star Carlton:
Rambo was actually a pretty good game. You could level up and work your way through several levels in order to beat the game. It actually (very badly) follows the plot of First Blood, even allowing you to save your Vietnamese love interest if you don't talk to her at the right point.
I still have fond memories of beating that game over and over again. One of the first games I was able to do that on.
Tanath said:
How is Rambo Contra? It is clearly The Adventures of Link. The way he "shoots" his knife, the monsters in the dark cave he can't see...watching the Rambo game gave me flashbacks, not of Vietnam, but of Hyrule.
