​Here's a funny story. Did you hear about those Shrek glasses that Burger King gave away with its kids meals, all 12 million of which had to be recalled because they had toxic traces of lead in them? Turns it's not just those Shrek glasses that are tainted -- IT'S EVERY SINGLE NOVELTY GLASS GIVEN OUT BY FAST FOOD RESTAURANTS CHAINS IN AMERICA FOR, SAY, THE LAST 50 YEARS OR SO.

Have you used -- or are still using -- Star Wars glasses? Muppets glasses? Superhero glasses? Any of these? You're being poisoned. From the AV Club:

A specially commissioned laboratory test of 35 separate drinking glasses made between the late 1960s to this year--including those with enamel designs of Superman, Batman, and characters from The Wizard Of Oz--found that all of them exceeded federal limits on lead in children's products by up to 1,000 times, many of these coming from glasses given out as part of various fast-food promotions over the years.

This of course includes similar glasses that are sold in places like The Disney Store and other places. Feel free to read the huge, clinical report here if you want more details. I'm going to stay here and panic for the next decade or so.