This clip of Hawkman meeting his fellow superheroes at the bar to discuss cinematic successes (and the lack thereof) is wonderful, but what I'll always remember it for is introducing the word "Hawkward" to my lexicon. I choose to interpret "hawkward" as an adjective, describing "a situation so unbelievably awkward it rivals Hawkman's backstory and continuity issues." Which, it goes without saying, are pretty fucking awkward. Infinite thanks to Chuck G. for the tip.
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I don't know if anybody is going to read this . . . but look at this. See, I told you that a Hawkman movie was viable, at least in a preliminary stage. I mean, I'm not a fan of the character, but I think he would be interesting enough to get beyond, "Oh, look, it's a goof with wings." Maybe in 4-6 years, there could be a follow-up video where the phrase "Aquaward!" is coined. Okay, it's not as beautiful as "Hawkward," but seriously, Aquaman is probably always going to be second-tier as far as Hollywood is concerned.
Count me in as someone who thinks a Hawkman movie would be twenty times better than half the shit that get shoveled out each summer. Of course if not done right it can also be as horrible as a ton of these movies like Bay's Transformers or Priest or.. shudder.. Halle Berry's Catwoman. Really, the Elektra and Catwoman characters shouldn't be talkin shit to Hawkman in this. Mr Fantastic and some others are on shaky ground too. Those fuckwits deserved a Thanagarian mace to their faces.
Eh. It's a funny clip, but it also is total bullshit. Any character can be made into a good movie. Plus even the best characters can be made into total shit. A Deadpool movie would awesome. Yet what Fox did to him in the Wolverine movie was total crap. They will rape your childhood and favorite character, forcing them do and conform to whatever. Character doesn't matter. They think whatever market tested and committee approved changes they make are automatically making the character better.
Fuck that. A proper Deadpool or Hawkman or fucking Squirrel Girl movie is better than the majority of shit that comes out every summer.
If only the idiots making the movies would quit fucking up the characters.
I think the point that makes the clip hilarious is the fact that the severe Continuity Snarl for Hawkman pretty much bars people from writing a coherent story. Just trace along the "Khufu and his mate has been reincarnated many times and that includes the Hawkman from another planet" concept and you'll see what I mean.
In all fairness I first heard "Hawkward" in Epic Rap Battles of History's Einstein vs Hawking rap.
Einstein: "I'll school you ANYWHERE, MIT to Oxford, all your fans will be like, 'uhm, ZAT vas HAWKWARD'."
Also: I'm hard-pressed to remember any video of this length that comprised so much brilliance in such concentration. Seriously, was there any five second stretch that didn't have wit in it somewhere?
The question to whether Hawkman can be awesome can be answered with two words: Hawkgirl.
...uh... from the DC Animated Justice League series.
(I'm sure two words in there count somewhere...)
Was she awesome? Yes; the answer to that is yes.
Was her fiancee (who was supposed to be Katar Hol) awesome? Yes; the answer to that is yes.
Hawkman in normal comics continuity? Often yes.
Hawkman in Kingdom Come? Briefly seen, but yes.
Hawkman in Frank Miller's "Dark Knight" future continuity? Dead with Shayera by then, but still yes.
Spiderman cracked me up.... "heh heh, Strapon"
Oh, and as for a Hawkman movie.... Maybe they could remake this - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt00...
This is very funny, though Hawkman should have pointed out how crappy most of these heros' films have been so they're not ones to laugh. And the Green Latnern film will also be crappy.
Also, I'm tired of the Aquaman jokes. Didn't this all start with Cartoon Network years ago?
A Hawkman movie could work. Problem is, you'd have to use Carter Hall, set it in the 1930s, and Nazis would have to be involved. And people who don't give a crap about Hawkman would think it's a ripoff of Captain America. I mean, you could throw in Egypt, reincarnation and mummies, but I dunno if audiences are into pulp adventures these days.
And a Silver Age Hawkman series could also work, using the angle of aliens landing on Earth and running a museum while fighting crime with ancient weapons. It would be a lot more intelligent than Smallville . . . but aside from Shadow Thief and the Manhawks, who does Hawkman fight? Either one, I mean.
Hawkman's problem is not his powers but his overly complicated backstory. The problem came when they started mixing up the Golden and Silver Age versions, and giving us a bunch of "fake Hawkmen". At least the Golden Age Green Lantern and all the OTHER human Green Lanterns all looked different, and usually went by their real names.
I do wish he actually HAD wings, though, as either a magical transformation in the Golden Age or just let Thanagarians have wings.
This. The DCAU version of the Hawkmen were a perfect compromise between all that convoluted Golden and Silver Age crap. They're aliens, the League has a Hawkgirl, and Hawkman was shoved away into a single episode which rushed through all that reincarnation bollocks. And Shayera/Hawkgirl was awesome, arguably the best main member of the League.
(Although, because the DCAU guys are geniuses, "Carter Hall" has to use strapped-on wings. He also isn't very interesting, so they don't use him much except as a pathetic stalker for Shayera. His 'real' counterpart in the series not only had real wings, but commanded an army that literally took over the world and tried to destroy it.)
I thought that Hawkman looked pretty good on Smallville. I think they used the Justice Society Carter Hall and it worked well.
Namor would definitively kick Arthur Curry's butt every time!!! Ilove Batman BATB too, but HELL NO!!
This is not the first time I have heard the term... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v... (it's about 30 seconds in)
this was awesome. the only thing I didn't like is that wonder woman should fold a man in half for non-nonchalantly smacking her butt. movie contacts or not.
That and aquaman should have been there to either be the only one more laughed at than hawkman or, more likely nowadays, to be accepted to show how far down the totem pole hawkman is.
I had a hawkward moment once. It involves a dildo, a rocking horse, a European transvestite named Inga, and liquor. Lots, LOTS of liquor. XD
The video was starting to lose me after a few minutes, but then the single shot of Batman as the bartender brought me right back in.
I personally agreed with every snide comment Hawkman made... And Hawkman is still more useful in 90% of situations than Aquaman. Which one do you think could, say, save someone from a burning building?
Aquaman cos the building would be on the pier and he would have a whale use his blow hole on that thing
Who the hell is the guy playing Green Lantern? Recognizing him and not be able to place him is making this very hawkward.
I remember him being in Get Him To The Greek, where he played the doorman that Jonah Hill tried buying Heroin from who ended up getting stabbed.
A quick search around Wiki has revealed him as T. J. Miller, who was the camera man in Cloverfield. Thanks for the hint, friend.
bunch of haters. I grooved on the hawkman cartoon (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v... when I was a kid. And besides, he was the hottest one at the bar. I'd totally do him.
haha xDD. Never new he had a cartoon! xDDDD. "The Winged Avenger"? xD, "awesome super gadgets? xDD. No comments :P
i know it was talked about a few times with justice league movie, but funny enough when i talked about it with others everyone forgot about hawkman. this is a great video.
Hawkman. The only main DC superhero people give less of a shit about than Wonder Woman or Aquaman. And at least those two are useful in a team.
No, he's Vegeta with little cutesy ankle wings, and equally filled with impotent rage (and yes I know Namor came first by about 30 years, but its a valid comparison). Aquaman commands all ocean life. Namor couldn't persuade a goldfish to piss in the sea for him.
Granted, on the power scale Namor outranks Aquaman by quite a bit, but while Aquaman's strength no longer declines when he spends too long on dry land, Namor spends a few hours on the surface and his strength drops to human levels. Aquaman is married with a (dead) son, whilst Namor stalks a happily married mother of two. Who looks like a woman he knew back in the 40's.
And at least Aquaman wears pants on a regular basis. Oh, and Aquaman isn't outshined by his hot cousin. Namora > Namor any day of the week.
... Aquard.
If it helps you feel better, I am entirely prepared to agree that Aquaman is Conan, without wings. But with fins. And an army of high-tech soldiers. And Red Sonia as his wife, except with magical water powers and she's insane. And the trust of most sea creatures.
Having said that, the alien version of the Hawkcouple sometimes have access to an even more technically advanced army which vastly outnumbers the population of Earth. So there's that. (And recently Hawkman has been getting hold of magical Earth ancient high-tech gear, allowing him the ability to do things like, in effect, smack Superman upside the head with a planet the mass of the Earth.)
Namor has... ....... a seashell and a grimace. {g}
(It's a magical seashell. It lets him mimic Aquaman, but less efficiently. So to speak.)
Ah. It seems I was under the impression we were discussing Namor instead of Hawkman. I kept this up for a good three paragraphs before noting my mistake. I apologise for subjecting everyone to my inane opinions, as I am clearly a moron. If you'll excuse me, I'm just going to step outside. I...I may be some time...
Well, aside from being a very ruthless and clever tactical fighter on the same level as Wonder Woman (though without the same strength level, yet still much MUCH stronger and faster than even peak humans like Batman), he rules three-quarters of the freaking world, is arguably richer than Batman, has upper-tier technology, and commands an army of similarly super-strong, super-fast, highly-educated high-tech soldiers.
Granted, at least half the time he's abdicating the throne or they're in revolt or something, but that's mainly for dramatic purposes because otherwise Aquaman IS TOO OVERPOWERED TO BE DRAMATICALLY INTERESTING OR EASY TO WRITE! (Unless the author is a genius like Peter David.) And when Arthur gets tired of his revolting armies, he kicks their asses back into line, usually by himself.
There aren't many DC heroes whose overall package constitutes an Omega Level threat to the planet, but Atlantis has threatened the world on occasion, and the world (when the writers remember) continues to take that threat very seriously.
Paradoxically, Aquaman is so useful most writers don't know what to do with him, or he has to be nerfed to keep him from being a dull I WIN button. (Somewhat like Superman, though for very different reasons.)
He has superhuman strength and endurance, can breathe underwater and has absolute mastery of all marine life. He could sick a Giant Squid and Megaladon on you. He is also the sovereign ruler of 70% of Planet Earth. Aquaman really needs more respect. The REALLY lame underwater superhero is PRINCE Namor; at least Aquaman is a king, and he doesn't die if he spends an hour on dry land.
Aquaman also has the advantage of being utterly OUTRAGEOUS!!!
Aquaman steals that show every time. He is such an over the top parody of a super hero that he is beyond awesome. I don't know who the voice actor is, but he sells the character.The beard helps too. Aquaman is always better with a beard.
Haha!, you are right!. I kinda like that version of aquaman better than the one in continuity right now... of course i must say I hated the superfriends aquaman, thats probably the source of my not-so-high opinion of aquaman xD
After watching two seasons of the Brave and the Bold Aquaman is rapidly moving up the list of most awesome heroes.
He is fantastic in that show - especially when he takes his family for a holiday.
No that was him, but he died. Again. The one currently back now still has all his arms, and can control dead marine life too. That's right: legions of zombie dolphins. At his command. FEAR HIM.
Can't he also control water now? Or is that the Aqua that replaced hime and then left when the original one came back? Who has the magic water hand from the Lady of the Lake?
