SDCC Videogame Trifecta: Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter x Tekken, Kinect Star Wars

? Nightmare on Elm Street‘s Freddy Krueger is the newest DLC character for the new Mortal Kombat game. All right, I admit, that’s awesome. It’s a great fit for both franchise, having a modern horror icon in a fighting game is an awesome idea, and it all just works. Well done, Mortal Kombat.

? There’s a new cinematic for Street Fighter Vs. Tekken out for SDCC, and this one’s all wrestling themed for some godforsaken reason. It’s worth watching if only so one of you guys can tell me why everybody is so goddamned wet in this thing. Seriously, it’s like they’re shooting a Gatorade video or something.

? You’ll note that I managed to not say anything shitty about Tekken up above; that’s because I had to save my bile and loathing for Kinect Star Wars, which looks like it will truly be one of the worst things ever. Don’t believe me, just watch this dude play it. First of all, it’s the world’s slowest on-rails shooter, which is horrible on principle. Second, the Kinect doesn’t work for shit, because the dude has to try every move at least twice before the game can figure out what he’s trying to do. Third, even if the game was responding properly, you can tell the game is boring as hell because it’s an on-rails shooter with no shooting! Fourth, I understand adjustments have to be made for gameplay, but come the fuck on — any Star Wars game where you can get shot with a blaster over 200 times in the face in 3 minutes is just fucking broken. Guys, throw that shit in the trash and get back to work on TFU3. You’re embarrassing yourselves.