The 10 Nerdiest Roles of Ron Perlman

By Jay Barish in Daily Lists, Movies
Monday, July 11, 2011 at 8:09 am
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​In mere months, Ron Perlman will play a role that will further cement his reputation as a geek's actor -- that of Corin, father of Conan the Cimmerian, in the remake of Conan the Barbarian. To play the patriarch of one of sword and sorcery's greatest anti-heroes would surely have placed him in the pantheon of geek movie legends... that is, if he wasn't there already. Perlman could have made it on his cartoon and videogame voice acting roles alone, since his rumbling baritone has landed him the roles of Batman, Iron Man, the Hulk, Conan, Bane, Killer Croc, Clayface, Deathstroke, the Abomination and more, but it's his distinctive features (often buried under layers of makeup) that have placed him at the glowing center of the geek culture. While he's appeared in plenty of "normal" projects in addition to his genre work, and both have put his face in front of millions of people, these are the ones that put his face in front of thousands of geeks, because they're some of the most nerd-targeted movies and TV shows known to man.

10) Zeno, Ice Pirates
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​ No, Ice Pirates isn't part of some legendary franchise, and nobody dresses up like an ice pirate at conventions, but the 1984 sci-fi sex comedy gets geek cred merely for being... well, a 1984 sci-fi sex comedy. Arguably silly than Spaceballs, and only marginally sillier than Flash Gordon, this movie is an embarrassing time capsule for a lot of actors. Perlman is hardly the biggest name in it -- Robert Urich stars, and Anjelica Huston, John Carradine and John "Sloth" Matuszak all play key roles. It's not based on a comic or even a sci-fi novel, but there's something very geek-friendly about the movie's water-shortage-in-space story, especially since they fight robots pretty constantly. Director Stewart Raffill directed it in between The Philadelphia Experiment and Mac & Me, and he co-wrote it with the guy who wrote Krull and half the '60s Batman TV series.

9) Boltar, Prince Valiant
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​Did you know there was a Prince Valiant movie? Two of them, in fact? And that the one made in 1997 starred future True Blood vamp Stephen Moyer and future Roswell alien Katherine Heigl? Would you be more likely to track it down if you knew that Ron Perlman plays a cave-dwelling VIking with a wild mane of hair and Braveheart makeup in it, and that he helps Valiant reclaim Excalibur for King Arthur? Perlman, Moyer and Heigl are joined by Udo Kier, Zach Galligan, Warwick Davis and Joanna Lumley, a cast that spans roughly all of geek lore, which means there's something for every facet of nerddom. So even though Prince Valiant is a watered-down comic strip long past its heyday, and the movie plays like a rough draft of the underrated A Knight's Tale, it's hard to pass up Arthurian legend told with an all-geek cast.

8) Gunnar, Outlander
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​ If movies were real, chances are Johnny Depp would probably not actually be a pirate, but I'm pretty sure Ron Perlman would be a viking chieftain. After multiple viking parts, the man just looks like he would carry an axe under normal circumstances. An alien antagonist gives this viking role the geeky edge over the Prince Valiant one, but, if such a situation were to arise in the hypothetical world where movies are real, I am reasonably confident that Viking Ron Perlman would still seek revenge against the giant, ex-con space reptile who devastated his village. Because that's just the kind of guy he looks like he might be.

7) Johner, Alien Resurrection
As the only Alien film written by geek scribe Joss Whedon, Resurrection holds a special place in geek hearts... although, since Whedon hates it, that may be more for the "What if Ripley was an alien?" premise and the presence of Perlman, Michael "Top Dollar" Wincott and Brad "Wormtongue" Dourif in prominent roles. Or because the movie is essentially a dark sci-fi comedy, and the whole thing is taken to a very strange place by quirky French auteur Jean-Pierre Jeunet. Still, Perlman's role is fairly straightforward -- play a grade-A jerk whose faults are forgotten and skill with a weapon prized in the face of an alien incursion.

6) Fiery Blaze The Tick

The Tick is generally accepted to be one of the funniest (intentionally funny, mind you) superheroes ever created, be he panel-based, animated or live-action. And while his live-action series was canceled after a mere 10 episodes, fans of the comic side of comic books hold it up as sheer perfection. Also sheer perfection? Ron Perlman as a flame-crotched, mustachioed, fire-powered hero who takes his sidekick ("Friendly Fire") on a double-date with The Tick and Arthur. The giant Bono sunglasses, the two-tone hair and the sense that Perlman is having a hell of a time make for geek Nirvana.
Tags: Alien, Blade, Celeb Acts of Nerdery, Hellboy, Highlander, Nerdiest Roles, Ron Perlman, Star Trek, The Tick

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