Fast Food Review: Pizza Hut’s Hot Dog Bites Pizza

Since the dawn of cooked cheese, man has tried to solve the dilemma of what to do with the crusty part at the end of the pizza slice, which you kinda feel obliged to eat, but don’t really want to because you’d rather move on to the next cheese part.

And then Pizza Hut solved it, some years back, with a pizza called The Edge, which simply put toppings all the way to the edge of the slice. But this was not cost-effective, as it required more ingredients.

Let’s get real – every modern attempt to jazz up the crust of a pizza is sleight-of-hand, as it inevitably makes the crust bigger, and thus makes the pizza require less cheese and toppings overall. You can stuff the crust, you can coat it in things, but look closely – each one is ultimately bigger than just the plain ol’ crust of a regular pizza.

Then there’s the hot dog factor. I’m not entirely sure why most fast food chains eschew hot dogs, but maybe it’s just to do with the fact that they’re super cheap and easy to make at home. Then again, microwave pizzas are 99 cents, so that can’t be the whole answer. At any rate, both Carl’s Jr and Pizza Hut seem to have decided at the same time that hot dogs make a great garnish for their other products…because America.

So how is this pizza with the hot dogs in the crust?

Well, the pepperoni pizza part is pretty much exactly as you’d expect. Thin, greasy, tasty.

The little hot dogs taste like hot dogs, but their saltiness added to an already salty pizza is a bit much. Having the “bun” made out of pizza dough works out well enough, although it doesn’t yield that effect in a really good, fully loaded dog where part of the bun just turns into liquid bread, but not so much as to dissolve the whole thing.

But take a close look. There are around four mini-dogs to each pizza slice. This means you eat one slice and then basically have a whole hot dog. You want more pizza, because yay pizza, but then after your second slice you have to eat a whole second hot dog (effectively) again. I don’t know about you, but I get tired of hot dogs after two. I don’t get tired of pizza till I’m BLOATED. So in the end, the age-old dilemma continues – I just want to toss the crust aside and eat the rest, like with a regular pizza.

And if I want a hot dog, I want chili and cheese. Not just yellow mustard in a dipping cup. You couldn’t even spring for dijon?

Julia loved it. But she’s a sucker for anything containing enough salt to wipe out the slug population of England.