Since Planet Hulk came out last week, a trailer for Marvel and Lionsgate's next direct-to-DVD cartoon movie was included, that being Thor: Tales of Asgard. It's about young Thor searching after the sword of Surtur and getting Asgard into a war with the frost giants or something or other. I'm trying to avoid my traditional bitchings nowadays (with a limited amount of success, admittedly) so let me try and bring up my thoughts through the new information this trailer presents to us.

• I'm not thrilled about watching a Thor adventure where he doesn't have Mjolnir. I mean, if I'm paying for Thor, I'm generally paying for hammer-time as well. Still, this movie is about young Thor, so I can let it go.
• I do like seeing Thor and Loki as brothers, before they were bitter enemies. That's cool.
• I am very concerned about Thor's line "That sword has taken its last life!"  and Loki's "We're royalty, we're not made for adventure!" These are Norse gods we're talking about here. The only thing more ridiculous than Thor not being ready for adventure -- even as a tyke -- is him worrying that a weapon is too dangerous. even if you take into account that these are the Marvel versions of Thor and crew, doesn't this seems preposterously out of character? Shouldn't Thor get rid of Mjolnir and stay home to watch the Puppy Bowl repeats if he's so worried about weapons and incapable of going on adventures? (Via Geeks of Doom)

It's true! So says Kotaku, who have announced that Travelers' Tales have announced they'll be making a Clone Wars game in the style of their popular (and very, very fun) Lego Star Wars games. Apparently they'll be based on the first two seasons of the show (season 2 just started a little while ago, right? With the Mandalorians?) and will come out this fall for pretty much everything. You guys have heard my rants about Clone Wars, but I'd play a Lego game based on the Star Wars Holiday Special if they made it. And as long as the characters look like Legos and not puppets from the '50s, my biggest problem with the Clone Wars will be utterly avoided. Keen!

​So. You watch Metalocalypse? You know Dethklok's blood fountain? Well, Adult Swim is now offering it for sale on their website. For $40,000. For real.

Are you the world's biggest Metalocalypse fan? No, really, their BIGGEST fan? Well, time to put your money where your mouth is by blowing all of that filthy, dirty cash you have lying around on this incredibly decadent purchase: a perfect replica of the fountain that decorates the nightmarish foyer of Dethklok's luxurious and deadly estate. Nothing will boast your dedication to animated death-metal more than this disgustingly lavish and entirely unnecessary conversation piece squatting in your front yard. It will also do your neighbors the courtesy of informing them that yes, you are 100% balls-out crazy. Both shipping (and, of course, blood) are not included.

CLICK HERE TO CONTACT US IF INTERESTED; SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY

• Order a replica of Dethklok's fountain
• Marble fountain; approx. 66" in height, 96" basin diameter
• 8-12 weeks production time
• Ships anywhere in North America or the Caribbean
• Price does NOT include shipping, will vary by location
• $13,000 security deposit required upon purchase to weed out the jokers
• Fountain is non-refundable
• Seriously, this is real

I... yeah. I have no words, I just needed to let you know about this insanity to make sure I'm not hallucinating it or anything.

The all-new teaser trailer for The Last Airbender -- née the Avatar cartoon movie -- was due to premiere on Sunday during the Super Bowl, but has leaked on line and HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT LOOKS INCREDIBLE. I haven't seen a minute of the cartoon (I know, I know, all I need to watch is Doctor Who season 4 and the specials and then it's all Avatar, okay?) and even I think it's gorgeous and cool. Hell, it's so awesome that the words "Written, Produced and Directed by M. Night Shyamalan" don't make me piss my pants in terror. THAT'S VERY, VERY AWESOME, PEOPLE. (Via /Film)

Above is a short trailer for a CG zombie flick called A.D., found by Zombie Info. Despite the very poor zombie survival techniques displayed by the characters -- i.e., just sitting in the middle of the road and allowing themselves to get surrounded -- it's a beautiful trailer, especially the environments. I even like the extreme, Clone Wars-esque character designs, since they don't look like they're actually made of wood, and it looks extra cool on the zombies. Zombie Info has way more, er, zombie info on the makers and their hopes to turn this into a real movie; you should check it out. Thanks to Snoodle for the tip. (Via io9)

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Yes. You heard me. Bif Bang Pow, the company that announced the Venture Bros. toy license last month, has said they'll be making the figures Mego-style -- i.e., the greatest superhero toys of the '70s and (a large percentage of) the stars of ToyFare's Twisted ToyFare Theater. Mego Museum has the press release:

Announcing one of the widest ranges of highly articulated 8-inch retro-style action figures in years. In cooperation with EMCE Toys, Bif Bang Pow!™ is proud to bring the original "'70s style" of play to a brand-new line of articulated action figures based on some of the world's most popular properties.

Reproductions reminiscent of the best-selling action figures of the 1970s and early 1980s, these highly articulated figures will feature body designs by EMCE Toys. Each 8-inch scale figure will include real cloth clothing and plastic accessories where appropriate.

That is awesome. Obviously, I wouldn't mind normal Venture Bros. action figures, but I love the idea of these guys being done in Mego-style -- it just seems so right. My only worry is that BBP will make them all of one body size, both for nostalgia and to save money; you can kind of get away with Spider-Man, Hulk, and Superman all being the same size (in the '70s) but there's no way Dean and Hank should be as big as Brock is, even if you're making retro toys, okay? I'm crossing my fingers, Bif Bang Pow -- please don't disappoint me.

​• Zombieland
If, for some reason you haven't seen Zombieland yet and haven't had the surprise spoiled for you -- although that hardly seems possible -- buy or rent Zombieland tonight. You're living on borrowed time.

• Doctor Who: The Complete Specials
Well, more specifically, this set includes the complete Tennant specials, except it isn't complete and only includes his final four specials (five if you count The End of Time as two). So it's got The Next Doctor, Planet of the Dead, Waters of Mars, and The End of Time, specifically. All are sold separately, too.

• Planet Hulk
You know, if this does well, I really hope Lionsgate does World War Hulk as well. I really, really want to see Hulk beating the shit out of the Illuminati animated, don't you?

• Universal Soldier: Regeneration
Starring Jean-Clause Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren. I think nothing more need be said.

• Ong-Bak 2: The Beginning
By all accounts Ong-Bak 2 is awesome. I'll probably be posting the trailer for Ong-Bak 3 later, if that helps at all.

• Dragonball Season 3
Dragonball is better than Dragonball Z. There. I said it, and I won't take it back.

• She-Wolf of London
Please don't confuse this '90s TV series with Isla, She-Wolf of the S.S. If you're expecting one and get the other, either way, you'll be immensely disappointed. And possibly offended beyond all measure.

• G.I. Joe: ARAH Season 1.3
All you need to know is that this set contains the episode "There's No Place Like Springfield."

• Hellboy: Sword of Storms and Blood and Iron
Both Hellboy animated specials on one Blu-ray. Convenient!

• Batman: Brave and the Bold Vol. 3
Look, we all know that B&tB will get a Complete Season 1 release at some point. I just wanted to take a minute to explain what happens in the five episodes for anyone who isn't watching this cartoon. Aquaman and the Atom play Innerspace in Batman, and Aquaman rides one of Batman's white blood cells; Batman goes to the Crime Syndicate universe and teams up with the good Joker, then comes home to find Owlman's been masquerading as him; and then he meets Bronze Tiger, turns into a giant mystical bat, and punches a ghost pirate ship so hard it explodes. If that doesn't sound like the awesomest thing ever, I don't know what's wrong with you.

​UGO dug up this pic of what the Smurfs will look like in the upcoming CG Smurfs film. I don't think I'm overreacting when I say I'd rather smurf my eyes out with a melon smurfer than every smurfing look at this horrifying smurf again, because it's like looking into the gaping smurf of smurf. Holy smurfing fuckbuckets. (Via /Film)

​So remember when we were talking about how awesome Hulk Vs. was in the straight-to-DVD comic book movie list earlier today? Well, I have similarly high hopes for the upcoming Planet Hulk animated adaptation, out on DVD, Blu-ray and digital download next Tuesday, February 2nd (you can check out the trailer over here). I loved the comics by Greg Pak, and it's a stand-alone story that should be perfect for one of these movies. Oh, and there's lots and lots of smashing.

Well, Lionsgate, makers of Planet Hulk and Hulk Vs., emailed me the other day -- not with a death threat, oddly -- but with the message that they wanted to give away the new Planet Hulk  2-Disc Special Edition DVD to two Topless Roboteers. I explained that you were all horrible people who didn't deserve such gifts, but they insisted.

So the contest is this -- tell me about the last time you got furious and wanted to Hulk out. I mean got crazy mad and just wanted to smash somebody (or somebodies, or venerable institutions, or whatever). Since this is TR, I'd prefer it to be still be over something nerd-related, like at a comic store or a role-playing game rather than when you were in line at the DMV or something -- and since I'm still judging the winners, I'd pay attention to that rule if I were you.

The winner will still get TR shirts, too. As usual, only one entry per person, the contest ends on Monday, February 1st at 12:01am, and TRY TO KEEP IT FROM RUNNING TOO LONG OR I WILL SMASH YOUR PUNY ENTRY MYSELF. HULK NO HAVE TIME FOR READING 1000-WORD ESSAY ABOUT HOW SCALPER STOLE LAST SLAVE LEIA FIGURE FROM YOU AT TOYS "R" US ONE MORNING.

Tonight's episode of Star Wars: Clone Wars is a big deal for hardcore Star Wars fans because it includes the first appearance ever (well, besides expanded universe books and comics) of the Mandalores, the badass warriors whose armor Boba and Jango Fett wore. This would likely be more cause for celebration if it weren't a nerdy clusterfuck. As I understand it, sci-fi author Karen Traviss had been writing about the Mandalorians as space Celtic warriors or some such. Last year, around August, Traviss made an announcement she was quitting writing SW books because of a "canon" issue, which everyone soon figured out was Lucas totally shitting on all the work she did on the Mandalorians -- and indeed, in tonight's Clone Wars episode, the Mandalorians are suddenly a world of pacifists with a small group of warrior outcasts. That's a pretty big discrepancy.

I don't know how I feel about this; on one hand, big George is still in charge and can do whatever he wants with Star Wars no matter how contradictory it might be (obviously), but on the other hand, he did hire Traviss, likely approved her ideas and books for all those years, and to all of a sudden decide to change his mind and ignore all that previous work is kind of shitty, not just for Traviss, but for the fans who bought all those books. Enh. You guys can argue it amongst yourselves.

Meanwhile, Iron Man director Jon Favreau is the voice of the leader of the Mandalorian renegades. That's probably a good deal, since if this clip is any indication, there will be zero fighting in the three-part story and a lot of standing around and talking. Whee! Thanks to Arsenal for the tip. (Via Wired)