It's one of those times where I have no words; just watch and let the awesomeness wash over you. I can tell you that this thing actually ran in Montreal, Canada, and that at some point this summer the Cobra troupe will be putting on something called Cobra III: Returns of the King... of Kings which just blows my mind. You can see more pics here and you should. You definitely should. (Via Great White Snark)
2009 is the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' 25th anniversary, and it's being celebrated in all the normal ways. Playmates is re-issuing the old '80s figures, the live-action movies are coming to Blu-ray, and 4Kids is making a direct-to-DVD movie where the 2003 cartoon Ninja Turtles somehow meet the Ninja Turtles from the 1987. So you can see-- the hell?
Seriously, 4Kids is making a cartoon Ninja Turtle crossover cartoon movie for reasons I cannot understand. 4Kids is teasing the project with "intercepted" images like of old-school April O'Neil above; and you can see a tiny clip of the movie somewhere in this otherwise boring promo video. I don't even think the two groups of Turtles are different enough to actually generate any conflict, although if you check out this pic of old-school Rocksteady and Bebop, which is you click on it gives you an MP3 of new Shredder getting kind of irked that another Shredder is running around his turf, which could be interesting.
Still, I don't get it. Now, if they had paired up the cartoon Turtles with their original comic brethern? That would be something. Something violent, probably, and thus I would have been very interested. anyways, 4Kids is supposedly debuting this thing at SDCC, so if I can attend the panel, I'll let you guys know what's up. Thanks to Mark P. for the tip.
I need to do a touch more work on the Zombie Haiku winners, so please enjoy this amazing music video of He-Man cartoon footage set to "Beware the Circling Fin" by Early Man. Get past the lengthy guitar intro, and you'll be in for quite a treat -- the whole thing makes the impossibly tame He-Man cartoon look like the most metal thing ever, which is no mean feat. Thanks to Tanner for the tip.
The era of the Saturday Morning cartoon is over. Sure, a few cartoons air on Saturday mornings, but these are few and far between -- it hardly compare to the '70s and and '80-s, when all three major networks had 'toons on from 6am until football or wrestling. Hell, there were so many animated shows that networks were always desperate for new series, and were willing to air anything -- anything -- just as long as it filled 22 minutes of airtime. It didn't matter how stupid the concept sounded, hell, it didn't matter if kids even liked it as long as they watched it... which is how so many incredibly stupid cartoons made it on TV, only to thankfully disappear one season later. Here are eight of the worst.
It's no wonder barbarian fantasy is the genre of choice among many sexist, mediocre film directors and pulp authors. No other school of fiction provides such an immediate excuse for men to be violent warriors, for women to be easily exploited objects, and for plots to make no real sense. When you're filling a story with bulked-out cavemen and curiously well-groomed women in fur swimsuits, few people will bother criticizing your narrative subtexts.
No one really expects barbarian tales to be smart, and the same goes for the protagonists of such tales. After all, that's their appeal: they're brawny, fearless types who shun the suffocating depravities of civilization and hygiene. Of course, most barbarian chroniclers miss the point of this and end up with heroes who aren't just simple-minded; they're full-blown stupid, and so are their stories. And with the explosion in Conan the Barbarian imitators since the 1980s, we've seen lots of stupid things.
However, this time, his head is full of DVDs -- including all four seasons of Futurama, plus the four DVD movies, for a total of 20 discs. You're looking at the special Bender head packaging, which was sent to me by sharp-witted TR reader Kelly S. Right now, you can pre-order it for $120 over at Amazon -- which seems a little pricey to me, even though the four movies run $20 each -- but whatever. I imagine the bigger sticking point is that now they've annunced 26 new episodes to air on Comedy Central, this thing is automatically incomplete. Still, it has a snazzy Bender head, and that alone is probably worth hocking your body for. After all, bodies are for hookers and fat people.
I'm not dissing Avatar, since way too many people have told me how awesome it is. But Shyamalan hasn't made a decent movie since Unbreakable (and I actually think both Unbreakable and The Sixth Sense are overrated), while Avatar seems like exactly the type of cartoon that would be doomed with a crappy live-action movie.
And yet, somehow, it seems like putting both Avatar and Shyamalan together has paid off big -- this new teaser trailer is awesome. As a non-fan, I am seriously intrigued and impressed. Avatar fans, what do you think? Looking good or has he already screwed up crap that I don't know?
I'm still so fucking mad about this Transformers 2 shit that I'm in actual pain. I have to calm down. Have a drink. Play some Prototype. Kill many, many digital innocent civilians.
And that means ending my work day, so here you go -- a bizarre mash-up of the Ghostbusters theme song and Nine Inch Nails' "The Hand That Feeds" set to footage from Extreme Ghostbusters, found by king of Twitter Agent M. The song is pretty goddamn amazing, but the video portion seems to just give out after a while. I can't worry about that now. I gotta go. Thank gos Heroes isn't on tonight, or I'd go on a nerd rage killing spree tonight.
Want pics of Shout Factory's complete G.I. Joe DVD set? Hush, hush little bear -- I know you do. I have to tell you I wasn't that excited about the idea of another Joe footlocker-themed package, but given this thing opens into an old-school military radio/communicator or whatever the hell it is, I'm officially excited again. The other extras are equally magnificent: toy commercials, interviews with the voice actors, the original '63 Hasbro Toy Fair presentation of G.I. Joe (!!!), a live-action Joe fan film, and more. Plus, there will be the temporary Arashikage and Cobra logo tattoos, but coolest of all is a 1-gig dogtag/USB drive. Sure, it's kind of small, but you have to remember that every single file on the Joe's computer system in 1985 would have been only 212 meg. There are plenty more pics and details over at TV Shows on DVD.
• Ghostbusters On Blu-ray. Not coincidentally, the Ghostbusters videogame also hits today. It's going to be a pricey day for some people.
• Burn Notice Season 2 The perfect summer show? I say yes. It's as cool and stylish and unflappable as Bruce Campbell's chin.
• Lost: Seasons 1 & 2 On Blu-ray as well. You know, I love Lost, but I don't think I need to own it. I'm honestly not sure that the final answers are going to be that satisfying, but man, the journey to get there has been incredible. So without thpse weekly surprises and shocks, I don't know how much I want to watch Lost again. Just a thought.
• Transformers: Complete First Season Three discs full of remastered episodes, original toy commercials and more. The only excuse for not getting it is because you're saving up for the complete series collection at SDCC.
• Spaceballs On Blu-ray. Spaceballs introduced me to the word "ludicrous," so I will always be eternally gratefull to it.
• Garfield's Pet Force I don't know what the fuck this is, but it shows Garfield and his cartoon-mates in superhero outfits. It scares the shit out of me.
Uh... this is a burlesque interpretation of Watchmen. Kind of. It 's safe enough for YouTube, but it does involve pasties and a generous helping of side-boob, so judge your workplace accordingly. The bigger concern is not the women stripping, but that the whole video is pretty much what Kip Adotta saw in the monolith at the end of 2001.
I'm going to lie down for a while. Like, three years or so. (Via io9)
Kevin Eastman talked to FilmSchoolRejects and announced a few new directors for the new version of Heavy Metal, the film that introduced many a young nerd to the idea that animation could be used for breasts. Here's the updated roster, with the new directors marked with profanity:
• James fucking Cameron • David fucking Fincher • Zack Snyder • Gore Verbinski • Mark Osborne (from Kung Fu Panda) and Jack Black
...and, apparently, more to come. This is such an impressive roster that I just can't imagine them ever actually sitting down and making actual Heavy Metal sequences. I'm just going to forget this news ever existed. Then, if it actually does get made, I can just be pleasantly surprised.
It's technically a rumor at this point, but I've already convinced myself it's true -- Comedy Central has ordered a new 13-episode season Futurama, according to Collider and an "inside source." I guess I really have no idea what Collidert's track record is with these things, but man, I want this so bad that I refuse to admit it's mostly a rumor. Also, if you were thinking about buying that "complete" Futurama DVD set I mentioned last DVD Day, well, you might want to hold off.
Shout Factory has done the fans right yet again, people. Here's what you need to know about the two releases. Transformers 25th Anniversary Matrix of Leadership Edition: Collector's Set • 16 DVDs, with all 98 G1 episodes • $140 plus shipping and handling • Available at SDCC or for pre-order here, to be delivered around July 13th • Includes a ton of extras, plus a collector's book and magnets
G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Complete Collector's Set • 17 DVDs with all 95 Sunbow episodes (I'm pretty sure) • Will come n a footlocker case (you can see a small, lo-res pic here) • $145, available at SDCC and can also be pre-ordered here (I know it's the Transformers page, but hit the pre-order button and it'll become an option) • Includes a ton of extras, plus a collector's book and temporary tattoos
That's officially good shit, people. It's not going to get any better than this. (Via TV Shows on DVD)
