I can't fucking stand it. A whole goddamn galaxy to explore, and yet, everything of consequence that happens in the Star Wars universe is always ON GODDAMN TATOOINE. A whole galaxy of alien races and people to meet, and yet HERE'S JABBA THE FUCKING HUTT AGAIN. And if you can somehow dismiss the stunning lack of creativity, you can't explain why Obi-Wan decided to hide Luke there after Revenge of the Sith. "Well, Anakin was born there, his mother died there, and he served several major Clone Wars campaigns there. But I'm sure he wouldn't think to look for his son on Tatooine."
I had no intention of posting on this, but since every other entertainment site has, I figured I'd better jump on the bandwagon. Above, you can see the poster for the upcoming Clone Wars movie/series. The character models still look like hell. There's still Anakin's female padawan Ahsoka, a grim reminder that this show will be Lucas' attempt to make Star Wars appeal to girls. I'm not excited. I don't know why everyone else is.
In slightly more interesting Clone Wars news, there will be a new trailer debuting tonight at 7:58 pm on TNT, TBS, Cartoon Network, Boomerang and CNN. I'll likely have it for you tomorrow, so don't go out of your way to watch it.
You guys know about Hasbro's Superhero Squad, right? The kiddie Marvel Superhero toys that look like the Star Wars Galactic Heroes and Transformers Robot Heroes? Well, deciding that driving from elementary school to elementary school and handing out comics from an unmarked van might be a bad idea, Marvel has decided to make a cartoon based on Superhero Squad for the kiddies. Gets 'em while they're young. Sez the Hollywood Reporter:
The Marvel Entertainment division said it is producing 26 half-hour episodes of a new "super stylized" animated series aimed at 6- to 8-year-olds. It will feature such well-known heroes as Iron Man, Hulk, Wolverine, Thor, Fantastic Four and Captain America; all occupy a caricatured Super Hero City and are thrust into humorous adventures as they thwart the villainous plans of Doctor Doom, Magneto, Loki, the Abomination and others.
The cartoon would premiere next year. My one hope is that since Hasbro made a Superhero Squad Ultimate Giant Man for the line, he'll also show up in the cartoon as well, and hitting the Wasp and attacking her with bug spray. Because I don't think it's ever to early to teach children that assaulting women means Captain America will beat the ever-loving shit out of you.
I said some pretty harsh stuff about Wolverine and the X-Men when it was first announced, mainly because I hate when Wolverine gets put in charge, because it's obvious that it's because he's popular, and not because of any kind of storytelling. Well, I still hate that (the animators do attempt a cop-out by having Professor X's ghost demand Wolverine take charge to avoid a dark future), but it seems everything else in this trailer looks good. There's Emma Frost, Kitty Pride, Cyclops and no Jean Grey (which is about the only time he's interesting), Sentinels, Domino, Mojo, Gambit—shit, it's like the '90s cartoon all over again, but with slightly better animation. I don't know if kids'll dig it, but it seems like X-Men comic fans should be masturbating furiously in joy.
• Naruto Uncut Boxset Vol. 7
I believe this set has the death of the Hokage and Naruto first training with Jiraiya, which means these weren't bad episodes, all truth be told. Enjoy it before VIZ starts releasing those fillers.
• Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie
Admittedly, this is hardly the best MST3K episode out there (for which we can eternally blame the studios). But it's been out of print for quite a while, and now I don't have to pay $100 for on eBay!
• Lucky Star Vol. 1
If you liked Haruhi Suzumiya, you've already been salivating about buying this and the massive amount of goodies in this limited edition. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, just move on.
• The Secret of the Sword
It's the He-Man and She-Ra movie! This thing rocked my world when I was young, not only because Adora was super, super hot. Here's how insane I am—even though I totally own the She-Ra best of 2-DVD set, which has this complete movie on it, I'm buying this one just because it has Secret of the Sword packaging, and I'd prefer that on my DVD shelf. Yep.
• Legend of Bravestarr: The Movie
Did you ever want to know BraveStarr's origin? Well, then this is the movie for you. I'd make fun of you, but I just bought a second copy of the She-Ra movie and thus have no room to talk.
The line of products kind of hurts my head a little, but it's true—there will be a short, 4-minute CG Lego Indiana Jones cartoon on May 10th, airing at 9 p.m. on Cartoon Network. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull star Shia The Beef will host it (can you really host a 4-minute cartoon?), which will be titled Raiders of the Lost Brick. Astute nerds will remember that CN and Lego did the same thing for Lego Star Wars with a Revenge of the Brick cartoon a few years ago. Oh, that video is a trailer for the game, not the cartoon. Although they'll look exactly alike.
If there was any doubt that there's money to be made from exploiting '80s toy nostalgia, Transformers rolled right over it. Love it or hate it, there's no denying that Spielberg took our love for our childhood toys and managed to squeeze three hundred million dollars out of our Xmas memories of ripping open Optimus Prime.
Which explains all the other 80's toy related movies supposedly in the works like G.I. Joe, Thundercats and He-Man (which all already had movies, if you count Thundercats Ho...or the porn flick of the same name). But while Hollywood may be knocking down the door of the toy companies behind those A-list properties, there are still a ton of toy aisle pegwarmers that aren't getting deals, either because they didn't sell or because you'd need a Joe-Eszterhas-level madman to try and adapt their storylines. Here are 10 flicks you won't be seeing next summer.
Would you like to watch that NYCC preview for the third season of the Venture Bros., but actually hear the dialog this time? Oh, and watch it without getting nauseous? TR buddy and writer Jon Gutierrez sent me this blessedly legit version of the preview from Quick Stop Entertainment, and I promise you, it's totally worth watching again, if only to hear the final, shocking words.
Okay, I know people have made plenty of videos of the weirdness and terrible animation and more terrible writing and utterly bizarre non-sequiters of the beloved '90s X-Men cartoon before. But damn it, I love it every single time. Highlights include Christmas with the Morlocks, Rogue freaking out, and an incredible barrage of pure stupidity from all the X-Men. Enjoy.
Warning—there is so much goodness in this preview of the third season of the Venture Bros. (shown at NYCC) that your may die. Not because of the return of Henry Killinger, not because of Brock in a Nick Fury outfit, not because of "The Nozzle," but probably because of the greatest G.I. Joe parody that will ever exist. The rest of the day is all downhill for here, kids—we should probably watch this and go right back to bed. (Via MikeGerber.com)
Although I'm white and wasn't allowed to read the Black Panther comics, I always liked him as a superhero—I mean, he was an African king who was smart and a badass and took care of Africa and supervillains and joined the Avengers and stuff, unlike The Phantom, who just kind of patronizingly wandered around Africa with no real powers other than being in charge of the continent because of his sense of manifest destiny. Anyways, I think it's super cool that BET has announced that it's going to have a Black Panther cartoon premiering in early 2009. One can only hope he tussles with racist superheroes like the Supremacists (why don't white superheroes ever fight white racist superheroes? Weird).
Congrats to JoBlo.com, who got the second character image from the live-action G.I. Joe movie—namely Scarlet, as played by Alias' Rachel Nichols. Unfortunately, as much as Scarlet is trying to sway me by presenting her ass to the camera, I remain disapproving. Yes she's got red hair, and bonus points for the crossbow. But her "battle armor" is generic action movie of the highest order, covered in those mysterious and needless grooves that seem to be so popular with the heroes nowadays. Now, I don't expect Scarlet to wear this, necessarily:
But I would like to remind the G.I. Joe movie makers that they already have a character whose schtick is wearing black armor, so maybe they could check out the other colors in the Crayola crayon box.
More importantly, would you buy a statue of a cartoon of a magic lesbian? Sideshow Toy and Electric Tiki hope the answer is yes, because they plan on releasing this "Tooned Up" Willow statue from Buffy the Vampire Slayer this fall. Willow is 10-inches tall and will run $90 when she's released; for those of you keeping track at home, Willow is the second in the Tooned-Up Buffy line after Buffy herself (assumably Angel, Spike or Xander will follow). You can pre-order her here. (Via Action-Figure)
Never mind the wretched cartoon offering; let's talk about the promo itself. Did thing like this get made in the '70s because everyone was on drugs, or did everyone do drugs to try to get the image of the guitar-playing turkey with the stupid voice out of their heads? Anybody? Anybody? Bueller? (Via PCL LinkDump)
Think Topless Robot is above covering the British DVD release of the Thundercats Season Two collection? We are! Because it sounds totally boring. But if you have two ladies dressed up as one of the sexual pantheons of the '80s, namely Cheetara, at the event, we're totally not above covering that. The two anthropomorphic objects of nerd lust apparently delivered the DVDs themselves, then ran about Trafalgar Square, according to I'm Not To [sic] Obsessed (no word if the girls groomed themselves). I've got two more pics after the jump, because I know you want them and are willing to increase my page views to do so. (Via Pop Candy)
There's a new Clone Wars trailer skulking through the intertubes, but I can't find an embeddable version, so you'll have to watch it here. I honestly think the early Clone Wars trailer was much cooler; plus, thanks an appearance by Jabba the Hutt and Tatooine in the show, Clone Wars looks like it's going to have the same problems the prequels did, in that it's just rehashing stuff from the original trilogy. I mean, this is like the smallest galaxy ever—half of the events in whole damn saga take place on Tatooine, which, as you might recall, the first thing we hear about is how boring it's supposed to be. Sigh. C'mon, Lucas. You used to have new ideas. Remember those?
Ever wonder why only Raphael of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was so pissed off? So did author Loser tastic toaster, but he has a theory.
I always figured Raph was angry because he didn't get enough time to masturbate. This [story] is about him trying to get 10 minutes alone to jack off.
I promise Loser tastic toaster does not lie; this one-chapter story is all about Raphael's inability to jerk off thanks to his brothers.
His life was so crazy. His shower was one of the few times he got some peace. With the foot and every day criminals he didn't have a lot of time to relax. It was also the only totally private place he had to explore his sexuality.
The subject or sex and masturbation had never really came up. When the turtles had gotten old enough to start asking questions Splinter had just told them babies were made from sex and that the man had to put himself into a woman to have sex. The conversation had pretty much died after that and it hadn't come up again.
Raph had discovered masturbation on his own and he guessed his brothers had to. The four of them never really talked about stuff like that.
Happily, the other Turtles don't join in or anything, and poor April stays far, far away. This story has but one focus; that's not to say Raphael can't explore his kinkier side solo.
He didn't know much about anal penetration but he felt like trying it out.
While I might have nightmares about anthropomorphic turtles sticking their fingers up their asses tonight, it might have been worth it for this little exchange:
“You ok?” came Donny's voice.
“I'm fine!” Raph snapped.
“Are you sure?” Don asked. “You sound tense.”
“Of course I'm tense,” the masturbating turtle said. “I can't get five minutes alone.”
So, does Raphael finally get to jerk off? I can't imagine spoiling it for you, so you'll have to read it yourself. Cowabunga!
Papa Smurf won’t be in the running when the Dodge County canvass board meets next week to determine the winner of the County’s 29th supervisory district seat.
The patriarch of the Smurf clan was among four write-in candidates penciled in Tuesday during the spring election for the 29th District race.
There were no candidates listed on the ballot, however, County Clerk Karen Gibson said that 15 write-in votes were cast for the position.
“Eleven of the 15 ovals were filled in with no name written on the line below.However, four write-in votes did have names that each received one vote each: Dean Fuller, Duwayne Schelter, Scott Fairbank and, of course, Papa Smurf,” Gibson said.
While Papa Smurf was crossed off the list, Gibson sent letters to Fuller, Schelter and Fairbank, inviting them to participate in the canvass board meeting at 8:30 a.m. Monday, April 7, in the county clerk’s office, where a winner will be chosen by lot and certified.
It's a damn shame that a the same time both an African-American and Woman-American could take the presidency, the blue man still gets no respect whatsoever. Or maybe its the fact that Papa Smurf lives in a town full of 300 men and one woman that makes people uncomfortable. (Via Black Nerd Comedy)
It’s human nature to want to know what happens after the credits roll in a favorite movie. That’s why stories used to end with, “And they lived happily ever after.” That was the author’s way of saying, “Nothing interesting ever happened to these people again, and there will be no sequel. Besides, I’m thinking of getting away from fairy tales in general and making my next story a kind of noir detective thing meets gothic romance. What do you think?”
Unfortunately, the drive to know the next part of the story is so strong that even some stories where we know they live happily ever after eventually get sequels. Poorly animated, slap-dash, blatant cash-grab sequels full of voice actors who have absolutely no business being in them. These are known as Disney Direct-to-Video films, and they’re enough to make you spin in your grave, never mind Walt Disney. These are the worst offenders, and if you’re lucky you never knew they existed. Read on. If you’ve got a favorite Disney film and you’re saying to yourself, “Well, surely they never made a sequel to that,” I can assure you that they probably did.
We’ve all had the conversation: the subject of embarrassing childhood crushes comes up, and someone blurts out that his introduction to the whole concept of liking girls came from April O’Neil in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. We were all dumb kids back in the ‘80s and ‘90s, caught at some intersection of sugary diets, cartoon marathons and pre-pubescent ideas of romance. So there’s no shame in admitting our bizarre nerdy crushes on, say, Duke from G.I. Joe or Samus Aran from Super Metroid.
Yet there are those rare youthful crushes that you should never confess to, unless you want to become the resident weirdo of your office, dorm, or extended circle of friends. Through intense, embarrassing research, we’ve picked out ten such crushes to keep to yourself.
Erg. The Cartoon Network Upfronts were held today, where the channel announces its new shows for the remainder of 2008. Cartoon Network reminded folks of the existence of the CG Star Wars Clone Wars cartoon (more on that in a second) and announced a new Batman cartoon, unrelated to all those other Batman cartoons, subtitled The Brave & and the Bold. Sounds cool, right? Batman teaming up with heroes like Green Arrow, the Blue Beetle (the new Blue Beetle even!), but here's the promo art:
I swear, it's like the Bruce Timm-designed Batman has been devolving over time. From Justice League to The Batman, the Batman designs just gets simpler, blockier and stupider. Blue Beetle looks all right, tho'. Anyways, TV Guide sez:
Rob Sorcher, Cartoon Net's chief content officer, says The Brave and the Bold will be "equal doses of comedy and high stakes."
Never a good sign, especially since The Batman was targeted to 8-year-olds. But on to Clone Wars—still hitting theaters on August 15, then going to CN, then to TNT. Fine. But listen to what George Lucas had to say about the series:
Lucas calls the project "Star Wars starring an 11-year-old girl" — that is, feisty Ahsoka, padawan apprentice to Anakin Skywalker.
Okay. I have no problem with 11-year-old girls (except that one time, but no charges were filed—ahem), but if Lucas is trying to make a girl-friendly Star Wars, we're all fucking doomed. There's no one more out of touch with what the public wants in Star Wars than Lucas, and I equally doubt hes ha any idea what an 11-year-old girl even looks like. I'm betting his insane efforts to "girl it up" will enrage girls and boys alike.
News on the second Futurama DVD-movie has arrived, as well as the cover. Besides featuring voices of David Cross, Brittany Murph, Dan Castellaneta and world-renowned physicist Stephen Hawking (quite the team, there), The Beast With A Billion Backs is coming June 24, and, well, the press release sums it up rather nicely:
In their latest extraterrestrial exploits, Bender, Fry, Leela and crew encounter a repulsive, planet-sized creature with billions of probing tentacles...and soon find themselves involved in a disturbing - yet sensuous - interplanetary love story.
I'm too lazy not gauche enough to copy/paste all the DVD extra,s but you can see them here. In other DVD news, one of our Most Wanted Cartoons has been announced—Freakazoid! Season 1 will have 14 episodes and be released on July 29, same day as Tiny Toon Adventures (which I know some of you have been waiting for).
It's no big loss, though, since with the possible exception of Sweeney Todd (I'm not doubting it's good, I just don't believe it's nerdy) there are no DVDs of note being released today. So instead check out this ancient footage of a proposed John Carter of Mars cartoon serial from the 1930s. Man, the world would have been a better place had this been made. (Via Christopher Paul Carey)
It's my birthday this weekend, so I wanted to sign off with the only way I know how to party—surrounded by excited, furry little men. Yub yub, everybody! See you Monday.
I mean that in the good way, of course—I got ass whiplash after falling off my chair at seeing this lovingly crafted Planet Express building and ship, made by Pepa Quin and seen on Gizmodo. There's plenty more pics over there, including of all of the hand-made characters—even Scruffy! Hey, you Danes—can't you find a way to slip this in your generic space series? Or even the Star Wars line? I won't tell!
• xxxHolic Vol. 1
I swear to god, any of you anime fans give me grief over my spelling of "xxxHolic" and I'll tan your hides but good.
• Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors Vol. 1
Here's your state of the U.S. anime industry—pre-orders for xxxHolic (#54 on Amazon, after a WWE Triple H video) are just barely ahead of Jayce (#57).
If you recall this pic of Sienna Miller playing the Baroness with her regular, blonde hair, you might have been understandably concerned that the upcoming live-action G.I. Joe movie's Baroness would not be the raven-haired, leather-clad, foreign dominatrix of your childhood. You may rest easy.
"[The film] requires a lot of physical training," Sienna told Access. "I have a black wig, guns, and leather… it's all very fantastic!"
So that's one bullet dodged, according to Access Hollywood, who talked to some of the film's stars, and gave out a other few movie details.
The film is reportedly an origins story. It could explain why Destro has a chromed head and why Snake Eyes doesn't speak, among other outlandish details of "G.I. Joe" that the cartoon never explained.
"For people who know nothing about it, it'll make sense," [director Stephen] Sommers told USA Today. "And to people who love this stuff, it'll show where they all came from."
Pardon my nerdery, but don't all the people who love this stuff already know where this shit came from, since it was all explained in the comics? Destro wore his ancestral mask, Snake Eyes's vocal cords were destroyed in an explosion (in which he saved Scarlett). So yeah, Sommers, we know. How 'bout explaining how Duke's childhood best friend just happens to grow up to become Cobra Commander? ARRRGH
The ‘80s were supposed to be a harmless time for toys and the cartoons that sold them. Whether shilling lines of action figures or promoting characters who would eventually be action figures, these shows were designed to eat up kids’ attention in 30-minute blocks while ham-handedly promoting good citizenship and hygiene. In spite of this, cartoons sometimes snuck in certain moments that were clearly designed to break impressionable minds and pervert the youth of America. In the interests of helping a generation get through long-stewing cartoon-related stress disorders, we’re confronting the worst things the ‘80s ever did to us.
Looks like the success of the Transformers and G.I. Joe movies is getting to old He-Man. I kidding, of course! This is actually a bit of art by comic artist Sean Phillips for a fundraiser for the wonderful He-Man.org. It raises to questions for me, however: 1) how fucked would the Masters of the Universe be of He-Man actually were a zombie? (Answer: very.) And 2) although it looks fantastic, who would want a picture of He-Man as a zombie? Now, He-Man making sweet love to Man-E-Faces and Mekaneck...we know there's an audience for that. (Via Newsarama's blog)
• Good news! The director of The Incredible Hulk movie says that Bruce Banner transforms into the Hulk within the first three minutes of the movie, as part of the "more action" mandate. He also talks some shit about the design of the Abomination, which isn't interesting, but I did find this goofy:
"We pick him up in the movie when he's in Brazil and he's trying to keep the monsters at bay, literally. Both the monster inside and the army chasing after him to harness his monster — to create a supersoldier. So he uses Brazilian jujitsu and yoga and meditation techniques to keep the monster inside of him. And, also, if someone picks a fight with him, he's using that Brazilian jujitsu because jujitsu and aikido are more elusive martial arts — he's deflecting the blows so he can run away and not get involved."
So Banner knows jiujitsu? Does that means the Hulk knows jiujitsu? You can read the rest of the interview here.
• That Wolverine and the X-Men cartoon where Wolverine, despite being a rugged loner who hates authority, starts leading the damn X-Men? It's going to air in 2009 on Nicktoons, sez USA Today. More importantly, it'll be joined by a new Iron Man cartoon (that's it above), where Tony Stark is a teen, and probably not an alcoholic. I'd be pretty impressed if he was, though.
• Marvel is starting its "Secret Invasion" promotions with mug shots of various Marvel heroes as Skrulls, painted by Greg Horn. And for reasons that are unclear to me, they all look horrible. Like old Marvel Trading Cards from 1991.
There are plenty more here; Hawkeye is in particular terrible.
Comedy Central announced its slate for the year, and besides an Andy Richter show (which will be funny and immediately canceled) and something called David Alan Grier's Chocolate News (which will be compared, negatively and eternally, to Chappelle's Show), the big news is that Comedy Central is giving Snoop Dogg a cartoon. Sez Variety:
Among the pilots, the untitled Snoop Dogg project will take an animated look at Snoop's life as a teen in 1980s Long Beach. Tha Doggfather and Tom Lynch will exec produce.
I honestly have no feelings about the cartoon, but I'll tell you what I am concerned about: Variety calling Snoop "Tha Doggfather." Yes, I know that's one of his many nicknames. But I don't think Variety—as a business magazine, and one with assumably some small sense of dignity—should be allowed to use it. Won't the soulles white producers who read this assume Tha Doggfather is in fact a separate entity from Snoop? Is Variety familiar enough with Snoop that they can use his nicknames at all? Shouldn't Variety have to call him "Mr. Dogg" or something? Or at the very least, replace "Tha" with "The"? Why, Variety? Why would you do this to me?
Comingsoon.net has an exclusive interview with George Lucas, and—while it's not exactly loaded with cool facts about the Clone Wars CG cartoon—it has a few tidbits that are worth me summarizing. For instance:
• The movie will air in August 15, and the show will sometime begin in October.
• Only Anthony Daniels will reprise his voice C-3P0, because he still has nothing better to do.
• The show will be episodic in nature, although there could be two-, three- and even four-parters.
• There will be more getting to know the clones.
• Lucas enjoyed doing the Young Indiana Jones TV series more than any movie.
• Genddy Tartakovsky's Clone Wars cartoon was an "experiment" (that just happened to kick the ass of all three prequel movies).
• Lucas is making 100 episodes of Clone Wars, no matter what the ratings are, whether it's getting aired or not, and everyone who doesn't like it can go fuck themselves (I'm paraphrasing somewhat).
• The live-action Star Wars TV show will now premiere in 2010.
Doesn't Lucas' hair look deflated and sad in that picture? It makes me uncomfortable.
I'm exceedingly jealous of Japanator for 1) finding this first and 2) using the name "DeathBob NotePants." Still, watching SpongeBob murder those he deems guilty is a fantastically fine way to start Monday morning.
These Fan Fiction Fridays are going to be the death of me. I can kind of understand making erotic fan fiction for Kim Possible, since Kim is a teen and dresses like a whore, what with her little belly shirt and all. Kind of. But The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy? Seriously?
Who wants to imagine these two drawings engaging in intercourse? The answer is Kaziklu, the author of this week's tale of the sexual self-awakening of two squat, dumpy 8-year-olds. I honestly wanted to die at several points while reading this brutally explicit short story, so I'm only going to reprint snippits that aren't outright depraved (there aren't many).
• ‘’I know.’’ [Billy] laughed and Mandy looked at him with sadness. He was wearing his green pyamas and nothing else, but he didn’t seem to mind the cold.
• ‘’Oh that! It happends [sic] when I think about girls. Wanna see?’’ He asked nonchalantly and without waiting for her to answer, pulled his pyamas down.
• She never even thought that Billy had any knowledge about sex or even the most basic interest. He shook his head and gave her a look that said more than words.
• ‘’That’s where I pee from.’’
• ‘’Let’s not finish this too soon, ok? Let me do something for you first.’’ She said and pushed him on his back.
• Without much ceremony, she did the ultimate act of subjection. ‘’M-Mandy?!’’ Billy called in surprise as Mandy actually did what he wanted to do to her.
• ‘’Could you wear them?’’ He asked, holding her shoes. She put them on without even asking why.
• ‘It all makes sense now... the dream I had was a stupid dream. I was afraid of myself this whole time. The maze, the animals and the unknown force... it was all me, nothing more. And I’ll ask Grim why this happened between Billy and me. I have a feeling nothing hasn’t changed. I’ll probably kick him out naked tomorrow... and beat him... and be mean to him... it is who I am. I’m the one with all the power... knowledge and influence... but this was nice too...’ Her thoughts trailed off and soon she was sleeping peacefully.
You're welcome to read the story in its entirety here, if you hate yourself that much. I'm off to have a hot shower and a good cry.
...they usually call it Heavy Metal magazine. Paramount has announced that they're going to make another animated Heavy Metal movie, the first one being the 1981 pic that taught many young boys that cartoons could show breasts, the second being Heavy Metal 2000, which I've never even heard of anyone seeing. This new pic probably has an edge over the first two, since Fight Club's David Fincher is set to lead the project. Sez Variety:
The film will consist of eight or nine individual animated segments, each of which will be directed by a different helmer. Fincher will direct one of the segments; Kevin Eastman, the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" co-creator who is now owner and publisher of Heavy Metal, will direct another. So will Tim Miller, whose Blur Studios will handle the animation for what is being conceived as an R-rated, adult-themed feature.
I have no doubt that Fincher will bring us a mind-bending, psychologically rich exploration of large-breasted cartoon women carrying ludicrously large guns and/or swords, who have consensual sex with robots and/or dinosaurs.
I caught the two-episode premiere of the new Spectacular Spider-man cartoon on Kids WB this past Saturday morning, while eating a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles and hearing my wife mutter about how she married a six-year-old. I'm ambivalent to report that the cartoon is good enough; the voices are good, the action well animated, and nothing terribly stupid about. The first episode had the Vulture as the villain (voiced by Freddy Krueger's Robert Englund) and the second episode starred Electro, whose ridiculous mask had been replaced with a more realistic head made entirely out of electricity (relatively speaking). But what most struck me was Aunt May, who is an EAILF (EA standing for Elderly Aunt). Seriously, check it:
And here's a grim reminder of what Aunt May looks like in the comics.
I'll take the Spectacular version, please. Actually, Aunt May and the villains are pretty well designed; it's the other humans who need a little help, mostly in the noses. Check Peter Parker's schnozz:
It's a little bootie!
I was going to post pics of the new Spectacular Spider-man cartoon debuting tomorrow morning on Kids WB, but then I realized all the pictures just look like Spider-man and I didn't care. However, the finale of The Batman cartoon is also tomorrow (you know, the one that's not nearly as good as all of the Bruce Timm Batman cartoons), and it's kind of interesting in that the Justice League shows up.
Apparently, some alien steals the powers of Superman, Green Lantern, Hawkman, the Flash and Martian Manhunter (Wonder Woman is absent) and puts 'em in robots so it's up to the non-superpowered Batman and Green Arrow to save their asses. The cartoon is a n hour-long, so it's as spectacular as you're going to get on Saturday morning (no offense, Spidey). A few more pics after the jump. (Via ScifiCool)
By Jon Gutierrez
Ever wonder why only Raphael of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was so pissed off? So did author Loser tastic toaster, but he has a theory.
From the 
By Todd Ciolek
By Todd Ciolek
