You'll Believe a Man Can Give Birth to a White Radish, in Chinese Hit Monster Hunt

Monday, July 27, 2015 at 12:30 pm

monsterhunt.jpg

Normally I'd say "Watch this trailer for China's biggest movie ever before Hollywood remakes it!" but I have a tough time imagining how a film in which a pregnant man pops out a sentient baby radish that sucks his nipples is going to get greenlit over here.

Directed by one of the animators of Shrek, this is an odd beast indeed, opening with what looks like a propeller-powered pineapple drone that resembles a Plants vs. Zombies weapon, and continuing with blobby monsters that look like refugees from a Dreamworks cartoon.

The movie's official synopsis, which is insanely long, can be read over at Slashfilm, but it also involves the radish baby being sold to a restaurant that uses monsters as ingredients. I guess the big question is whether eating an intelligent, pain-feeling radish is vegan.

Also, how many people will develop fetishes based on this movie?

More >>

The Sights, The Sounds, The Hentai: 17 Weird And Cool Things From Otakon 2015

Monday, July 27, 2015 at 5:00 am

otakonsign.jpg

Conventions, once reserved only for discussion in the most heated of USENET discussion boards, have become something of a pop-cultural force this past decade. No cognizant man, woman, or child isn't aware of San Diego Comic-Con, for good or ill.

Myself, though? You dumb nerds can stand in line for 5 hours to blurrily watch the Game of Thrones cast get asked terrible questions; I'll be at places like Otakon and making jokes about hentai.

I had a blast this weekend at Otakon in muggy, sunny Baltimore, so here are 30 things I saw, to mark the occasion!

More >>

You Can Help Choose the Next Disney Infinity Character

Friday, July 24, 2015 at 6:30 am

disneyinfinityvote.jpg

This isn't quite like the Hasbro Star Wars Fan's Choice, which began by allowing any and all nominees - I think Disney knows all too well that people like me would start movements to draft Uncle Remus, Netflix's Wilson Fisk or the alien from Extra Terror-estrial. Not that their final list of 20 nominees are all necessarily better - with Alice Kingsleigh (i.e. the Tim Burton Alice) and a Johnny Depp Mad Hatter both in the running, it's pretty clear Disney has a level in mind based on that particular cinematic atrocity. On the other hand, Darkwing Duck is in the lead right now, and we could help keep it that way.

Ready to vote? Let's get dangerous!

Leave It to Mexico to Make a CG Movie About Cockfighting (and Talking Eggs)

Tuesday, July 21, 2015 at 3:37 pm

galloconmuchohuevos.jpg

EDIT: an earlier headline called this a kids' movie. Even though it looks like one from the marketing, I'm told it isn't. Which makes it no less strange, especially as a three-film franchise.

Un Gallo con Muchos Huevos is set to be the first Mexican CG animated feature to get theatrical distribution in the U.S., and it looks...well...definitely not from here. The idea of a rooster being friends with talking eggs seems cute, but the moment you realize the implications - that they are basically Ripley and he's the Alien Queen - it starts to seem a bit weirder. I don't reckon we'll see chicken fetuses doing any chestbusting, but it's the logical next step.

And even though the trailer's not in English, I can gather that the plot involves cockfighting, as organized by an egg who looks like Don Corleone. This is apparently the third in a series of films based on a web cartoon, and the first in CG, which presumably is what made American theaters deem it releasable, as all hints of hand-drawing have been banished from most multiplexes.

It certainly looks like something The Simpsons' Bumblebee Man would enjoy. And the hypothetical word of a man in an insect suit is good enough for me.

More >>

Sony to Make an Animated Movie Based on Emojis, Because Sony Is Terrible

Tuesday, July 21, 2015 at 11:32 am

flipoffemoji.jpg
TotalFratMove

The only way I can see this working - the ONLY way - is if it takes the Charlie Kaufman/Barton Fink approach and centers on a screenwriter who gets paid ridiculous amounts to write an emoji movie, and slowly goes insane in the process.

Now, quickly, somebody buy the film rights to Bitstrips!

New Trailer for Pixar's The Good Dinosaur Leans Heavily on "You Will Cry" Music

Tuesday, July 21, 2015 at 10:04 am

gooddinosaurarlo.jpg

This is the first Pixar trailer in a long time that I'm just really, really not into. Kid looks like he came out of The Croods, and sentimentality seems preemptively cranked to the max.

Plus I think it's time to declare a moratorium on scenes where characters bond due to being surrounded by a bunch of pretty glowing things in the air. It is officially now a cliche.

But maybe I'm just cranky. How do you like it?

More >>

Hasbro's SDCC Pinkie Pie and the Shrinkwrap Dilemma

Friday, July 17, 2015 at 11:00 am

julia_pinkie_pie.jpg

From a certain point of view, Hasbro's 2015 Comic-Con My Little Pony exclusive is in very collector-friendly packaging - a box designed to showcase the toy without your having to remove the figure to see and touch it.

From another, it is not, as the whole thing is shrink-wrapped, leaving the buyer unable to slip off the outer sleeve and see the contents.

What will Julia do? Her mom told her yesterday to go ahead and enjoy it. But she is sad that she can't see the toy inside and might have to lessen its value to do so.

Let's see what happens...

More >>

Adult Swim's Comic-Con Trailers: Rick and Morty, Robot Chicken and More

Friday, July 17, 2015 at 8:00 am

adultswimlogo.jpg

Lots to see here. Rick and Morty's second season, Robot Chicken's third DC special that riffs on Crisis on Infinite Earths, a fun skit about that little devil on your shoulder from Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell, and a look at Bee Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force Forever.

It looks like there'll be plenty to enjoy while I'm desperately trying to wind down for those precious five hours of sleep a night next season.

More >>

EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW: Concept Art Teaser for Mondo Toys' Masters of the Universe Figures

Friday, July 17, 2015 at 6:30 am

mondomotutease.jpeg

As you may remember from my Comic-Con feature on Mondo Toys, deluxe 12-inch Masters of the Universe collector figures are coming, starting with He-Man and Skeletor.

While the full figures will be revealed in October at Mondo-Con, the image above is an exclusive look straight from the company at parts of the concept art, with the ram's head on Skeletor's sword a particularly nice touch.

I've seen and heard more detail that I cannot reveal at this time - suffice it to say that if you're a fan of this property and thought Snake Mountain would bankrupt you this year, you're in for a whole new level of wallet pain. Mondo's figures will combine elements from all key interpretations of the core characters to make the ultimate 1/6 Masters collectibles, ensuring your purchase has the power.

(If you want to use this image, please credit and link back, and do not alter the image in any way. Mondo and I would appreciate it.)

Don Hertzfeldt is Kickstarter-ing It's Such a Beautiful Day on Blu-ray

Thursday, July 16, 2015 at 10:27 am

isabd.jpg

Well, my favorite film of 2012 is finally coming to Blu-ray...IF enough people chip in. Seems sad, as always, that animation aimed at thinking adult viewers gets stuck in this rut, but Hertzfeldt has always been pretty much a one-man army. Provided the Kickstarter hits the minimum, there will only be slightly more copies made than there are backers.

I fear you folks might be disappointed in the bonus rewards...

HOW ABOUT A REWARD WHERE WE TALK ON PHONE IN REAL LIFE ABOUT THINGS WE LIKE

no, those are really weird. who would want to do that? why do those rewards exist?

HOW ABOUT A REWARD WHERE WE GO SEE A MOVIE AND EAT A DINNER IN REAL LIFE

no

HOW ABOUT A REWARD WHERE YOU COME TO MY HOUSE IN REAL LIFE. PUT ON THIS WIG, I PAY YOU LOTS. WE SIT TOGETHER IN MY DUNGEON. IN REAL LIFE.

no!

OK I COME TO YOUR HOUSE. I FEED YOU GOOD. I STEAL NOTHING. PUT MY MONEY IN YOUR MOUTH.

it is strange that you are able to continue typing on here

If you're unfamiliar with the movie, it's a tough one to describe. Just watch the trailer below.

More >>