For Three Grand, a Lifesize Lance Henriksen Torso From Aliens Can Be Yours

Tuesday, March 17, 2015 at 8:00 am


This is the question of your life, you pawn: will you take Bishop?

This is a full sized replica of Bishop as played by Lance Henriksen right after being ripped apart by the Queen Alien. The body is made of fiberglass. The head and arms are made from high end FX quality silicone. The eyes are acrylic and matched to Lance's eye color. The hair is matched to Lance's hair and is a combination of hand laid and punched one by one. The base is made of wood, but created to look like a slab of concrete from the hangar where Bishop was ripped in half by the Queen Alien. All of his tubes and inner body parts are made from high grade silicone. The suit is custom sewn to match Bishop's suit complete with arm patch and dog tags engraved specifically to match his dog tags. The watch on his arm is a close replica. The real watch costs thousands of dollars, so this one was as close as possible.
The second-biggest question of your life: how come we're only making semen jokes now?

via Laughing Squid, which hilariously has to qualify ALIENS as "the classic sci-fi film."

Unboxing Geekfuel's Monthly Mystery Package [VIDEO]

Monday, March 16, 2015 at 12:27 pm


The folks at Geekfuel sent me one of their monthly subscription boxes to review - due to my apartment flood making it hard to find things like my camera, it took a little longer than it ought to.

Now that things have settled, watch us unbox.

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Superhero Nightlight Looks Like Cap Just Threw His Shield at You

Friday, March 13, 2015 at 1:00 pm


This actually made me do a double-take at first, but it is apparently a thing now across several licenses - a battery-powered nightlight that looks like something either crashing through your wall or embedded in it after a battle, from Thor's hammer to Raphael's turtle-face.

Although I'm kinda hoping they never, ever do My Little Pony versions, for reasons that ought to be obvious to regular readers.

via The Awesomer

The Official Sparkly Pepper Spray of Paul Blart 2

Tuesday, March 3, 2015 at 12:11 pm

Thumbnail image for blartblingsting.png

This is quite a thing to find in your inbox:

"Check this out! blingstingĀ® pepper spray is the most fashionable way to stay safe! Soon to be featured in Mall Cop 2, it's the ultimate accessory that serves a purpose, too! More information and photos are below. Can I send you a sample?"
Question: how am I expected to test and review this product?

Now, before you get huffy with me, I KNOW Paul Blart 2 is not the kind of movie I'm meant to be writing about. I know this because I had to fucking review the first one. But weird merchandise is, and sparkly pepper spray makes me think our nerd movies - which all but INVENTED the modern merchandising tie-in, praise be to Lucas - need to step up their game.


Come to think of it, I don't know if these pepper sprays are meant to be bought by fans of Paul Blart, or people who want to keep away fans of Paul Blart. That's pretty genius marketing, right there.

Geek Apparel of the Week: Jupiter Ascending 3 Wolf Moon Shirt

Wednesday, February 25, 2015 at 8:00 am


If, as many pundits believe, opening weekend grosses for a movie are primarily based on the marketing, then Jupiter Ascending was fucked from the beginning. Opening in February with no merchandise whatsoever is fine for a Kevin James comedy, but with a massively budgeted space opera, it's a sign of cutting one's losses.

Yet it seems to have garnered enough fans for some unofficial merchandise to surface, like this version of the 3 Wolf Moon shirt with Channing Tatum's human/canine hybrid howling at our solar system's biggest planet. It's not quite Eddie Redmayne screaming, which would be the best, but for dogged fans who want to sniff out something pointed, it's 'ere.

h/t Marc Heuck via Dailydot

Set Phasers on "Splashy" With This Star Trek Captain's Pool Chair

Tuesday, February 17, 2015 at 9:53 am


Not a great swimmer? Well, now you don't have to "Klingon" to the sides of the pool for dear life, as this inflatable Captain Kirk chair is coming out later in the year, allowing you to boldly go into the deep end without hell "toupee."

Bonus: while Kirk only got shirtless occasionally, you can be shirtless all the time in this chair, like you know Shatner wanted to be (unless you believe those hideous rumors that he wore a girdle, which we would never in good conscience spread).

via Laughing Squid

Geek Apparel of the Week: The Lego Movie Oscar Snub Shirt

Thursday, February 12, 2015 at 1:09 pm


Okay, now I actually want to sand down the hand on an Emmet minifg to reproduce this.

But what happened to his legs?

h/t Jeff Sneider

Geek Apparel of the Week: Game of Thrones Garbage Pail Kids

Tuesday, February 3, 2015 at 8:00 am


With Garbage Pail Kids attempting a comeback in the pop culture sphere, I'm surprised they didn't get to this first, as they always have tweaked familiar icons a bit. As Garbage Pail Kids always have two names, allow me to suggest a second run dubbed "Sean Beaned." There would seem to be near limitless possibilities for more like this - Tiny Tyrion, Jerk-Ass Joffrey, Low-Cal Drogo, Incesty Cersei...and of course, a character shaped like a sexually suggestive entryway that we could dub "Ho Door." Or maybe Khaleesi in a Nazi uniform as "Aryan Targaryen."

Since neither property maintains good taste, it seems a solid match, is what I'm saying. Here's to more.

Thunder...Thunder...THUNDERCATS GIVEAWAY! Hooooooo!

Friday, January 30, 2015 at 12:30 pm


Thirty years ago, on January 23rd, ThunderCats were on the move and ThunderCats were loosed upon us for the first time in animated form. And even after a well-received reboot was prematurely canceled a couple of years ago, the characters are still a pop-culture touchstone - turns out Mumm-Ra wasn't the only part of the franchise to be ever-living.

Thanks to our friends at TV Store Online, we're celebrating the landmark with a snazzy T-shirt and metal belt buckle set. And thanks to a recent weekend thread, I have the perfect contest notion: Nerdy Limericks! Post your best in comments below, and I'll pick a winner next Friday, Feb 6th, 2015, around noon. Again, my apologies to international readers, but prizes ship to U.S. and Canada addresses only.

My example went something like this:
There once was a jar with a pony
Whose owner would bop his baloney
When a stray bit of heat
Spoiled the beat of his meat
And his dreams leaked like emails from Sony

You can do better. Can't you?

Geek Apparel of the Week: First Fully Show-Accurate Beavis and Butt-head Merch Ever?

Wednesday, January 28, 2015 at 1:00 pm


My first reaction to these socks from Poprageous: Ehhh, they're socks. They're cool (huh-huh), but most people never see your socks, especially if you're a dude.

My second reaction: Holy shit. They finally managed that?

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