In what one could consider an attempt at hipster irony before hipster irony became annoyingly pseudo-cool, back in the '80s the Garbage Pail Kids trading cards eventually spun off a series of small plastic figurines in mini trash bags, labeled "Cheap Toys with Crummy Candy." It was truth in advertising, even though kids assumed it was sarcasm.

It's possible that any larger kind of toy might have run into legal issues had they been seen to directly compete with Cabbage Patch Kids in any direct way, but they really didn't have to be THAT cheap. We know this because come October, Topps is finally doing fully painted, good versions of these toys, in the same scale and called MiniKins. In a twist that probably does qualify as legitimate hipster irony, there are chase variants in single colors to replicate the original cheap versions. Rather than candy, they come with smaller versions of the classic stickers.

You know what has to come next, right? Time for a movie reboot. And let's be honest, Hollywood really can't do worse than the original this time.

h/t BumblebeeZ3

Dear Mike Tyson and Vincent Van Gogh - here's the perfect gift for the love of your life.

Too brutal? How about a mini Nintendo cartridge ring? If she says yes to that gift, there's another question you need to ask for a similar answer.

It's a gift that would make me jump for joy and punch the ceiling. Unfortunately in real life, that doesn't cause money to rain down. Just asbestos.

Anyone making a Mario Iron Lung?

OhMyGeeknessvia The Mary Sue

So, you may have noticed a viral Star Trek site called areyouthe1701.com sprang up recently...

This is just a screen capture. Clicking on it will do nothing.

The idea is to tweet images inspired by Star Trek or the future, and there will be 1,701 prizes. I was hoping to find out what those prizes are, and haven't found it in the official rules yet, but I did notice this unusual gem:

In the event that a potential Winner is a Canadian resident, such person must also answer correctly within a five (5) minute time period a mathematical skill-testing question without the benefit of any assistance (including without limitation, any calculation devices) before any prize will be awarded to such Canadian potential Winner.

WHUH?

Is this a normal thing that I just never heard of before? Why are we making Canadians do math? Is it that we think they're smarter, and need to prove that they're actual Canadians? Or are we assuming that they're drunk on superior beer, and this our version of a sobriety test?

Set phasers on "confused." Have any of my Canadian readers encountered this before?

Japanese pro-wrestling frequently blurs the line between comic-book superheroes and grapplers, with many of its greatest superstars wearing Power Ranger-like costumes. Now the line is blurred even further, as Yukihero fashion takes the look upscale. I guess the upside for models is that you don't need a pretty face if it's gonna be hidden by the Far-East equivalent of a Lucha mask.

Like pro-wrestlers, the models need to know their moves and stay in shape. Also, the outcome is pre-determined: you'll never afford this stuff, and few who can will actually wear it in public.

I would think that basic logic - and anyone who's ever seen a shaved cat - would suggest that furry creatures are not best represented by skin-tight gimp suits. But when I stare at this thing, logic fails me in a way that I think even Sarek would understand.

Nor is this some one-off, etsy-made fan fetish creation. This is one of several licensed products of its kind. Which means Disney signed off on selling it.

In happier Chewie news, a Wookiee in a better costume confronted Harrison Ford on Jimmy Kimmel Live, prompting him to give us a taste of old Han Solo, complete with his signature finger point of doom. It tells me he's gonna be just fine back in the role.

costume link via Laughing Squid

"How'd it get burned? How'd it get burned HOW'D IT GET BURNED???"

...is not something you'll say about your hand when wearing this stylish kitcheny tribute to retro Nintendo and that "classic" Fred Savage flick The Wizard, co-starring Rilo Kiley's Jenny Lewis back when she was a child actor.

You can buy it here for $15. Because even though it might be tempting to use an outmoded actual Power Glove, those things melt.

h/t Ksetrat

P.S. you really should click on the links above.

I know some of you like easier-to-enter contests, and I like increasing TR's Facebook following. So here's a giveaway to please both of us - many thanks to our pal Ray at TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles.com for providing the $45 Krang hoodie (size XL only) which reminded me of this cosplay that everyone liked.

I should add that if you're a regular reader, you'll enjoy following TR on Facebook, and on Twitter too, as both occasionally feature original content not on the blog.

Okay, so here's what you have to do to enter:

1. If you have not done so already, sign up for a My Voice Nation commenting account, complete with an email address, and "Like" Topless Robot on Facebook.

2. Find the Facebook post featuring this contest, and share it.

3. Comment below with the name of your favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles character. When the contest closes at 11:59 p.m. next Wednesday, April 24th, I will generate a random number between one and the number of comments total to pick a winner. The winner must be a registered commenter and have BOTH commented below AND shared the post on Facebook to claim the prize, or I move on to the next one. One entry per Facebook account only.

Please only comment below as an entry - others will be removed. If you want to discuss the contest itself, do it in the previous (Hot Toys Iron Man) thread.

I know, it's a couple of hoops to jump through, but for those who don't like writing memes or creative speculations, it's a change of pace.

Scodioli Creative

I know I've had that problem. Drunks can be all mean, making fun of sobriety and shit. But sometimes I have to drive home. In fact, I have to do that all the time, because I live in America's most spread-out, no-decent-public-transportation-having city.

So how to stave off the mockery and the stigma of being the lame guy at the party? I never asked myself that question, but the answer has materialized anyway - a scent that smells like bourbon, my favorite booze. Only I need something to instantly remove it as well, because if I get pulled over anyway on said drive, the smell of liquor will most likely prove unhelpful.

Eh, I'm probably not actually the intended audience. Dorky college kids looking for misguided credibility will probably snap it up, though. Combined it with cannabis-scented breath spray, and you could also pretend to be a gangsta rapper. Or Hank Williams Jr.

And for anyone who asks how this is nerdy - are you kidding me? Who but a true nerd would come up with a way to smell like booze that bypasses any kind of actual imbibing whatsoever?

via LA Weekly

Even super-fighting robots get all tuckered out sometimes.

Yes, it's a costume that doubles as a pillow - a pillow that requires special headgear, and anticipates you'll be lying slouched forward on your arm the whole time.

But if you're thinking what I'm thinking - and if I know my readers, you're actually thinking of even worse things than my mind could conjure - you've already realized that an arm isn't the only body part that could slip inside the, uh, Mega Blaster. Ah, Capcom.

h/t 10glfan59

Of course it's a known fact that your pet will stay absolutely still while you bind him or her into the trappings of a beast of burden from a galaxy far, far away, so don't worry about that. At all.

All of these are available now at Costume Craze.