​Oh, I love it when my interests collide like this! Francis Ford Coppola's winery is offering a 25% off sale on bottles of their 2006 Skywalker Ranch Merlot and Chardonnay, so ~$20 and ~23, respectively. I like to think the grapes are crushed personally by the bare feet of George Lucas himself, but that might not strictly be the case (look, I know I'm usually first in line to bitch about the prequels, but if I could drink wine made personally by George Lucas' feet, I would do so instantly. I fully admit this). Anyways, use those links above to buy the wine and enter "THEFORCE" in the coupon code -- it's good until February 15th, 2010, but be careful, because not every state allows booze to be shipped. (Via /Film)

I... I have no words for this video. It was sent to me by GalvaTRION, and it apparently from a Sweidhs show/event called the Melodifestivalen held last week. After a minute of Swedish people talking to each other in the dark, this video contains more awesome insanity and insane awesomeness than I have ever witnessed before in my entire life. After bursting out with a torch, here is what Dolph Lundgren does in this video:

• Sings an Elvis song
• Dances
• Plays an awesome drum solo
• Breaks several wooden boards
• Breaks several blocks of ice... with one chop
• Returns to finish the song
• Has sex with all eight of his female back-up dancers, at once, and satisfies them all (I assume this happens immediately after they exit the stage)

And he does all of this in a tuxedo. You know, I've often wondered what the platonic ideal of awesomeness would be -- the most perfect representation of awesomeness that all other awesomeness is but a reflection of. I am wondering no longer.

​So there were nearly twice as many entries in this weekend's TR contest as the week before. I would have assumed that more nerds had gotten angry than could imagine a drinking buddy, but I underestimated the power of booze and the chance to talk to our icons, alive, dead or fictional. I'm particularly gratified by everyone who sucked up said they'd like to have a drink with me. Here's hoping you guys can make SDCC this year, because I'll be doing another TR meet-up, and we can all have that drink then. Now,I'm going to talk about how awesome all the entries were in a minute, but for now, enjoy some of the shorter, more quotable entries that made me chuckle:

SpiderHyphenMan said:

Robert Downey Jr., in full Iron Man gear.

Boyle said:

Once again, those of us who would like to deep throat Joss Whedon are headed off at the pass by unreasonable restrictions. Oh, the humanity.

JTtheConqueror said:

Not sure if this is substantially nerdy, but Hunter S. Thompson would be the greatest. He'd bring booze, guns and drugs. Dangerous, yes. Can you trust him, no. Would you wake up with a Z carved into you're forehead, possibly. Would the house be destroyed, obviously. Is he dead yes. Holy shit I just realized I am describing Zombie Hunter S Thompson. excuse me while I trademark that horrifying image.

pumpkinguts said:

I would want to be stranded with William Shatner. He's banged tons of chicks and I'm sure he has some great stories, so that when my penis finally gets working again I can jerk off all day; however the icing on the cake would be that wherever we were stuck for the weekend I know he would have gotten a great deal from Priceline.com. Priceline Negotiator!

badmacktuck said:

Bill Nye the Science Guy (Secretly I'm just hoping he lets me wear his lab coat)

Joey said:

without doubt Alan Moore. in addition to conversing about the pros and cons of anarchy, i could glean valuable insight in the arts of beard maintenance and ingenious story-telling at the same time.

Wade vs The World:

I would pay anything to have shots with Brian Blessed just so we could raise our shot glasses high and toast.....HAWKMEN! DIIIIIIVE!

Farmboy said:

I'd tie one on with Lois Lane. We can hash out all her Clark/Superman issues over Bloody Mary's...with celery. SUSPICIOUSLY. MOIST. CELERY.

Screampants said:

Peter Cullen. Because I really want to hear what Optimus Prime sounds like when he's totally plastered.

LadyIslay said:

Although an unlikely choice for most nerds, I would totally choose Kryten. Let me explain: I'm not much of a drinker. I'm not much of a housekeeper, either. If Kryten was snow-bound in my home for several days, he would clean EVERYTHING... and find it all very satisfying. Laundry would be folded, sock drawers would be organised, dishes would be washed, windows would sparkle and toilet bowls would shine! Even better, when he was all done, he would probably love to kick back with a pair of knitting needles or be thrilled to do some scrapbooking. All I would need to do is make sure he felt appreciated. As an unexpected bonus, per the contest rules, Kryten doesn't even HAVE genitalia.

Murphy's Law said:

Even though they were already mentioned, im going to have to go with the MST3K crew. Just so i can finally have my dream of getting drunk and making Mystery Porn Theater 3000. Im not saying just any type of porn though, i mean porn thats more like a horror/mystery porn. We'll probably just end up yelling, "Dont go in there!!!" a bunch of times.

JazzyChazzy:

It would have to Milo Ventimiglia... Ventimigla... W/E. SO I CAN SPEND ALL NIGHT PUNCHING HIS DOUCHEY FACE IN. And then spend a couple of hours thinking up "Your face is so douchey" jokes, and then I'd break for tea, and then continue to pummel and mock his face.
DEAR LORD I HATE THAT MAN'S FACE.

Winners after the jump.

I'm about to get snowed in for the weekend. After the last post, I ran to the grocery to get the essentials to help me and Ms Robot survive over the weekend -- frozen pizza, chocolate donuts, booze (no vegetables, strangely) -- and I began thinking about who else I'd like to be snowed in with. Obviously, Ms Robot is great, but I've been snowed in with her several times, and she's no longer charmed by my habits of keeping myself warm with bourbon the entire time.

So here's what I want you to do -- tell me you who'd most love to have a drink with while snowed in. You have a full bar and -- here's the important part -- neither of you having working genitalia. I don't know if it's because of a freak ski accident or what, but I'm not having this contest turn into a depraved faux FFF. All you can do is talk and drink, so seriously, who would you genuinely like to converse with for three straight days over a few gin and tonics, Manhattans, or bottle of wine? My choice was instant.
​Sir Christopher Lee. I've talked about my nerd crush on Sir Christopher many times before, but it's not just because he's a nerd god, but because the man is fascinating. Besides hearing about his remarkable career, the man knows his art, music and literature. I don't even know that I'd want to ask as just listen to his memories of working on the Hammer films, as well as his modern movies; his travels; his love of Tolkien and the Lord of the Rings books; and more. I love the man, and would be totally enraptured.

Now it's your turn. Remember, YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX WITH THIS PERSON, and I will throw out any entries that make this smutty. I really want to know who your nerd idols are, and who you'd genuinely like to talk with. One entry per person, contest ends at 12:01 am EST on Monday 8th, assuming Ms. Robot doesn't throw me out for my drunken shenanigans over the weekend and I freeze to death.

It's not Last Airbender trailer, but here's a commercial for The Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park which was also supposed to premiere during the Super Bowl on Sunday. While we've already talked about how impressive the park will be, it's interesting to note that the commercial resorts to pretending the kids will play Quidditch and that Daniel Radcliffe will be around to invite them to die on his behalf during some preposterously dangerous adventure. Of course, then the kids will get there, and discover not only that their only chance to ride brooms is at the Quidditch-themed Bumper Cars, but that they hired some skeezy 24-year-old to play Harry, who'll try inevitably try to mack on the hot 13-year-olds, get busted, and drag Universal Orlando into a very awkward lawsuit. Amusing!

​From the UK Mirror:

Darth Vader star David Prowse yesterday spoke of his joy at winning his year-long battle with prostate cancer.

Star Wars actor David, 74, who played the 6ft 6in villain in the first three films, got the all-clear last month.

The former body-builder - and TV's Green Cross Code - stunned doctors by making a full recovery after intensive radiotherapy at London's Royal Marsden Hospital.

Speaking from his home in Croydon, Surrey, David said: "I've won the fight and I'm feeling better than ever. Everyone was shocked by how well it all went."

David admits he was lucky to be diagnosed early after a Prostate Cancer Support Association worker urged him to ask his GP for a blood test.

Now David, whose brother also beat the disease, advises men over 50 to get tested. He said: "I've had people saying I've saved their lives. I got the same with the Green Cross Code, it's happening again."

Please don't think I'm making light of this. Silly article title aside, I've had  several family members both triumph over and succumb to cancer, so I'm always interested in articles where cancer gets its ass kicked. If the ass-kicker in question is also the Dark Lord of the Sith, so much the better. PRRROOOOOWWWSSSEEEE!!! (Via TheForce.net)

First of all, let me assure you the above video is safe for work, despite being a trailer for Vivid Entertainment's upcoming Batman XXX porn parody. As you'll be able to tell from the video, it will be modeled after the '60s show, which makes sense since most of the villains had gangs of hot '60s chicks as underlings, and otherwise, Batman's rogues gallery is pretty much a sausage fest. Good choice, pornographers! Also of note is the fact that since DC/Warner Bros. has the Bat-logo copyrighted, the Bat-stud of the film will have a big "XXX" on his uniform's chest instead.

Now, I'm obviously concerned about the iconic '60s sound effects being used in this movie -- the "SPLAT!" with the liquid flying off the letters seems a horrifying indicator of how they might be used when, er, someone's sliding down the the ol' Bat-pole. But on the other hand, I am grimly curious about what "Holy" things the Boy Wonder will be shouting... as well as all the marvelous Bat-devices Batman might pull put of his utility belt. I await your suggestions for both in the comments. Thanks to Michael D. for the tip (so to speak). (Via Bleeding Cool)

Now, you might say, "Rob. C'mon, man. This is a clearly a commercial for Jaian, a business travel website. Business Cat does not exist." To you, I reply by sticking my fingers in my ears and saying "SHUT UP SHUT UPBLAH BLAH BLAH I CAN'T HEAR YOU." It's like flying in Peter Pan. If I just believe hard enough, then Business Cat is real. (Via Warming Glow)

​The needs of the body are relatively simple, but the most delicious caveat for sustaining life is probably food. Air, water and shelter just don't hit the spot quite the same way. But just because it's essential doesn't mean it has to be boring. Why eat the same thing that people from this planet/reality/timeline indulge in?

Nerds might as well spice up their life with interesting edibles found throughout their favorite fictional universes. Fortunately, publishers have been willing to feed nerdom's need for the grub that makes so many made up characters' lives worth living -- and make a quick buck off desperate, hungry nerds who are willing to eat just about anything, as long as it has a silly name based on their beloved nerd property. It's true that not every recipe can be replicated with existing Earth ingredients, technology or even magic, but approximations can suspend even the stomach's disbelief. Take a look at the ten cookbooks that can help sustain nerds of every skill level, and potentially even give them +1 cooking in the kitchen.

​My mind is blown. If yours isn't, let me see if I can explain this to you.

• When the Yu-Gi-Oh TCG first came to America, it was Upper Deck who made the cards. They had the license for six years.
• Upper Deck has been a respected and popular trading card company for 20 years, making all manner of professional sports cards, and TCGs like the Marvel Vs. system and the World of Warcraft card game.
• In 2008, Konami -- the owners of the Yu-Gi-Oh game, who gave the license to Upper Deck -- found some bootleg Yu-Gi-Oh cards distributed by a company called Vintage Sports Cards.
• Vintage Sports Cards said they got the counterfeit cards from Upper Deck.
• AND THEY DID.

Last week, a court found Upper Deck liable for counterfeiting and trademark infringement, which means UPPER DECK WAS SELLING BOOTLEG YU-GI-OH CARDS. WHEN THEY WERE THE ONES MAKING THE LEGAL YU-GI-OH CARDS. Is that not the craziest shit you've ever heard? Who would do that? Honestly, the only sellers of anything I can think of are drug dealer, who cut in flour with cocaine and nonsense like that. Hasbo doesn't make those crazy Spader-Man bootlegs you see in shady mall kiosks, because... well... it doesn't make any sense. At any rate, nowadays Yu-Gi-Oh! cards are made directly by Konami, and Upper Deck and Konami just settled out of court, with Upper Deck agreeing to pay an undisclosed sum to Konami. Let that be a lesson to all you people who... uh... decide to produce illegal versions of things you can make legally. Or something. (Via Anime News Network)