I READ YOUR FANFIC! "I Am Groot"

Friday, August 15, 2014 at 8:00 am

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If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"

This is a little shorter than normal...in fact, it clocks in at a perfect 4:20, which is also the best way to watch it.

Title: "I Am Groot," by sherlocksmyth

Logline: Guardians of the Galaxy's Groot describes several terrible and ridiculous sex acts.

Acts Involved: Masturbation, nipple-twisting, hetero and homo sex, three-ways, beastiality, fuck your ass make you humble, and possibly more...depending upon your point of view

Participants: Groot, Gamora, Jerry the King Lawler, The Iron Sheik, Hordak, Imp, Goat Man, and possibly more...depending upon your point of view.

The Live Reading/Performance...

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Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Made Contact, Now Back to Earth

Thursday, August 14, 2014 at 8:00 am

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Martha Boyd is not just Luke's mother-in-law - she's also an ex-cop, a landlord, a self-described crazy cat lady, a major Star Trek geek and the widow of a green beret. So go ahead: ask her anything. And we mean anything.

Wow, amazing how fast Thursday comes back around when you are having fun. As you know I spent last weekend at Contact in the Desert. Thank you all for reading my report on the event and thank you LYT for printing it - I hope that I get to cover something again for TR. Anywa,y the event was pretty good and I would volunteer for it again if it is held in Joshua Tree next year. There were some rough edges at the event, but I am pretty sure the venue will have the taken care of before next year. They can't do anything about the heat. The speakers were great. I loved getting to meet George Noory and the other speakers.

But this week it is back to Earth and reality. We have had heavy rain and flash flooding again, so I've been getting out to do my appraisals early in the morning before it gets too hot and humid. Got some stuff going on this weekend, and will let you all know next week. So now, let's see what you have come up with for me this week.

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Contact in the Desert: Luke's Mother-in-Law Reports From the UFO Show

Monday, August 11, 2014 at 8:00 am

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When we heard that our weekly advice columnist and favorite ex-cop/crazy cat lady was volunteering at a convention of UFO-buffs, we couldn't resist asking her to send in her thoughts, and pictures. People paid big money to get in, but now you can hear one person's account for free.

FRIDAY:

Hello all. I made it through the first day of Contact in the Desert. The event runs until Monday, but I only volunteered for Friday and Saturday. It was HOT, and I feel so sorry for the people who came who were not used to the heat. There is no shade at the event and some of the speakers were in the amphitheater. One of the big speakers, Erich Von Daniken, was moved from a room to the wide outdoors for this first talk. The poor man is in his late 70s and was melting. I have attached a photo of him on the outside stage. Sorry the pics are not very good as I was near the rear for the morning welcome. and then for the inside ones the lighting was not the greatest and speakers tend to move around a bit.

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Weekend Hangover: Anne Rice Rebooted, Milli Vanilli and Mario, Rubber Duck and Bondage

Monday, August 11, 2014 at 6:00 am

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James.k.Polk

What stories might you (and we) have missed over the weekend? Fear not, dear readers, for many of them have been gathered here for your perusal via reader submissions, and the assistance of Kyle LeClair.

This week's tipsters include James.k.Polk, SlyDante777, NebulaJack, troi, DrAbraxas, Gallen_Dugall, Dr.Gonzo82, rkwsupserstar, donnaryoko, Timely-Tardis-Lego

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Weekend Open Thread: R.I.P. Menahem Golan of Golan-Globus

Friday, August 8, 2014 at 6:32 pm

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I'd have written a longer post but I didn't quite feel qualified. It would have all been about Dolph Lundgren movies.

I think we need to post some favorite Cannon films trailers and clips in comments.

Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Villains, Ghosts, UFOs and Yin-Yang Kittens

Thursday, August 7, 2014 at 8:00 am

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Martha Boyd is not just Luke's mother-in-law - she's also an ex-cop, a landlord, a self-described crazy cat lady, a major Star Trek geek and the widow of a green beret. So go ahead: ask her anything. And we mean anything.

Hi all - are we sitting down and ready for another installment of the Crazy Cat Lady of Joshua Tree? Oh well, ready or not, here I come. Thursday afternoon is volunteer orientation for Contact in the Desert. This should be very interesting; we'll get more information on just what we will be doing - but even better yet, how we use the half-pass we are getting.

This last week we had a couple of days of really nice rain in Joshua Tree. At my place, it was fairly gentle and soaked in; however, over in 29 Palms they had more flash floods. Currently the road out of 29 Palms to Blythe is closed due to the mud. This weekend is supposed to be nice, not humid, and in the low 100's. August is monsoon season in the desert, and a year ago we were keeping our fingers crossed that Luke and Julia's wedding was going to be dry. So it looks like the second weekend in August is lucky in Joshua Tree.

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5 Laughable (and 2 Awesome) Ways Pro Wrestling Becomes One Big Comic Book

Thursday, August 7, 2014 at 6:00 am

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Pro wrestling and comic books have a lot in common. Both are colorful, outlandish, over-the-top, and regularly retcon their storylines the second something from the past gets in the way of whatever story they want to tell now.

With that in mind, it's small wonder that the two liberally borrow from one another, though pro wrestlers do it far more egregiously than comic book characters, who are usually too busy saving the world to bother with knocking some angry guy over the head with a chair. The ring world has become its own comic book store in a myriad of ways. Such as ...

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Weekend Open Thread: Pickled Sausage Edition

Sunday, July 27, 2014 at 10:46 am

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I have a lot more video content, but it has become quickly apparent that there isn't an Internet signal in San Diego that will let me upload them in less than five hours or whatever. So while I go around getting even more, I'll let you enjoy the picture above, which got me more Twitter responses than anything else at Comic-Con.

My hotel bar serves no food, so I bought the item above at a gas station. I'm still alive.

Talk amongst yourselves. I'll be back to posting later this evening.

Comic-Con's Big Saturday Hall H Panels, as Described by a Crazy Person

Saturday, July 26, 2014 at 9:56 pm

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He's been awake many hours, but we think he's still reliable...maybe...

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Afternoon Open Thread - Comic-Con Day 1

Thursday, July 24, 2014 at 3:46 pm

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In all of San Diego, finding a spot where I can upload video or audio appears to be impossible. So for now, talk amongst yourselves. I'll be back in the wee hours with some good stuff.

(And will pray that this actually posts. It already failed twice.)