Labor Day Weekend Open Thread - Happy Bustin' Anniversary!

Friday, August 29, 2014 at 7:36 pm

No Hangover Monday as it will be a holiday with light posting. I may borrow the best things I see here (with credit, of course).

Happy 30th, Ghostbusters!

(Amazingly, there are five other videos on Ray Parker Jr.'s Vevo channel. Bet you never knew he had that many.)

TR Review: Is It Hell? I Dunno. As Above, So Below

Friday, August 29, 2014 at 10:00 am

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They did the upside down thing in Devil too

It's not hard to make me freak out watching people get stuck in tight spaces deep underground, and I suspect I'm not alone - there's a reason The Descent is so popular with the people who've actually seen it, and it isn't just scantily clad babes in miner hats. It's like putting a ton of jalapenos on your sandwich - you know full well they're going to burn and take over the thing, and it makes it harder to tell whether the sandwich beneath is actually any good.

I'm pretty sure As Above, So Below is quite stupid when it comes to the screenwriting, but the camerawork and editing is so effective that I felt close to a panic attack most of the time anyway. If that's what you're into, you could do worse.

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I READ YOUR FANFIC! "The Quest for the Holey Grail Part 2" by KingAurthr2

Friday, August 29, 2014 at 8:00 am

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If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"

The real quest is my quest to get through the dumbest fucking thing I have ever read and maintain my composure. We're not there yet, but Greg and I give it our all in another "exciting" installment of this all-out assault on spelling, grammar and logic.

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Oh Wow...Jeff Bridges-as-Gandalf Movie Seventh Son Is Actually Coming out

Thursday, August 28, 2014 at 12:48 pm

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I really thought Legendary was going to try to bury this and write it off as a casualty of their switch from WB to Universal. But no...come February, we will get to see The Dude do his best Ian McKellen impersonation (SPOILER: "Best" is an extremely relative term here).

"From the production company that brought you 300: Rise of an Empire."

Seriously? Did you think touting all the acting awards won by the various cast members would just feel like a joke given how bad they look in this so far? It feels like Nicolas Cage looked at the script and decided to pass because he'd rather work with Hayden Christensen.

I'm kind of perversely interested now. Watch the trailer and you tell me if I'm crazy.

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Yes, Underworld Is Getting Rebooted, Probably Because Kate Beckinsale Turned 40

Thursday, August 28, 2014 at 10:00 am

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I'm not saying that's the right thing to do. Just that it probably is what it is.

Look, I've seen every Underworld movie except the last one, and while I vaguely didn't NOT enjoy them, here's my take-home from each one: Bunch of people in black, book-loads of backstory I don't care about because all you have to remember is that vampires hate werewolves, blue filters, gray cityscapes probably in eastern Europe, Kate Beckinsale doing everything short of getting naked because her director husband is protective and is only cool with her making out with other guys in tight leather, blah blah blah Lycans and Death Dealers, cliffhanger non-ending. Hell, even the Hollywood Reporter article announcing the reboot can't remember if the main character's name was "Selena" or "Selene." (They may have fixed that by the time you read this.)

The last Underworld movie came out two years ago. Realistically, what was different then?

Kate Beckinsale was 39. And while I don't have any particular loyalty to this franchise, it seems kinda shitty not to keep her around now that she's 41 (a man her age would not be put out to pasture). But they're not talking "sequel" - they're talking "reboot." Again, I don't know that it's the age thing - but considering nobody else is clamoring to buy back the rights to this series as far as I know, I don't see any other reason to start over. Does anybody really care about some element of this series that isn't either Beckinsale...or another actor that's been killed off already, like Bill Nighy?

How Marvel's Movies Would Look With "No Jokes" - Pretty Badass, Actually

Wednesday, August 27, 2014 at 4:00 pm

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Hey, have you heard? DC wants "no jokes" in their superhero movies!

(And yet they cast Ben Affleck. Rimshot!)

Actually, nobody at DC has come out and said that in any official capacity, but that hasn't stopped every site out there from writing about it. The story originates at HitFix, where Drew McWeeny talks about hearing it, and essentially dares DC to come out and confirm or deny it. I suspect that there are folks at WB/DC who want more serious movies, and also perhaps that the ones who like levity may be baiting sites like ours to demonstrate that there is a demand for some humor.

In a curious bit of timing, an editor named Gen Kim today sent me a supercut of the most serious and sad moments in the major Marvel movies, where pain and defeat exist alongside triumph. There is no humor in the four-and-a-half minute reel, and guess what? It still kicks major ass.

Watch it and realize - Marvel doesn't need "jokes," and the competition doesn't need to fear them. It's about making good movies, plain and simple.

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The Pyramid Is a New Mummy Horror Flick That I Really Hope Isn't "Found-Footage"

Wednesday, August 27, 2014 at 2:30 pm

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I don't have a specific aversion to found-footage - it's a form like any other, and depends on the story you tell. But following the fake CG historical part of this trailer, the first look at our main characters appears to be classic "Hey, let's make a documentary about something unexplained, because that never goes wrong" POV shooting, while the last third has everyone running, shooting and falling in ways that couldn't feasibly be accomodating any kind of complex camera work.

I'm all for mummies being scarier that Arnold Vosloo with CGI acne, but if you're going for something more "realistic" here, Fox, I'm waiting for another trailer to convince me.

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Dear vs. Bear Proves Bollywood Is Taking Awesomely Bad Inspiration From Syfy Movies

Wednesday, August 27, 2014 at 1:00 pm

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It's about a soccer team...stranded in the woods...attacked by insanely fake digital bears...whom they fight back against by kicking footballs at them.

The best part is the way the trailer conspicuously credits the special effects director as if it were anything to be proud of - unless "Ashish Saxena" is Hindi for "Tommy Wiseau," I would have thought whoever was responsible would want to hide in shame. And the YouTube comments the movie's own distribution company has posted include such gems as "VERY GOOD SENSIBLE , ROMANTIC, MOVIE" and "Uttar kumar and Lovely joshi super acting."

You don't have to speak Hindi to get the effect - I wouldn't be surprised, actually, if the movie's better when you don't.

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10 Secrets About the History of Heathers With Writer Daniel Waters

Wednesday, August 27, 2014 at 6:00 am

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Heathers is one of the greatest films of and about the '80s. Not only skewering the odd mix of cultural conservatism and libertine excess that still dominate high schools, writer Daniel Waters' script is a classic: dark, sharp, funny, mean (and at the same time, oddly sympathetic to its characters, even at their worst). Released in the spring of 1989, the film launched Waters' career, as well as that of its lead Christian Slater (J.D.), while kicking Winona Ryder's (Veronica) career to the next level following the success of Beetlejuice. The cool girl who gets fed up with with being an in-crowd crony, and the homicidal outsider who becomes her boyfriend, lived in the bizarro universe where John Hughes movies weren't afraid to use a pretty girl's death by cleaning solution as a punchline.

To commemorate 25 years of Heathers, Waters and I spoke by phone recently, with the writer looking back at how it got made (with very little supervision), its legacy (say thank you, Joss Whedon), and how sometimes trying to get Winona Ryder off your back leads to a surprise sequel announcement.

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TR Interview: Dylan Postl, From Happy Hornswoggle to Lethal Leprechaun

Tuesday, August 26, 2014 at 5:30 pm

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When WWE Studios announced they'd acquired the rights to the Leprechaun movie franchise, there was never any doubt who would star - Dylan Postl had been playing a leprechaun character on WWE TV for years, albeit a very different kind from the primeval beast that the movie intends to reveal.

Unusually for a WWE superstar, Postl in person seems slightly uncomfortable talking about himself, perhaps because in the ring he has mostly gotten by with grunts and body language. But at a Comic-Con roundtable, we managed to get a few good words out of him.

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