Michael Gross Is Still Making Tremors Movies: Here's the Trailer for Part 5

Friday, July 31, 2015 at 8:00 am


It's been eleven years since the last Tremors movie that I barely paid attention to, but damn, it's impressive that Michael Gross keeps coming back to be Burt Gummer, that rare positive Hollywood portrayal of a right-wing, survivalist gun aficionado. In this one, they go to Africa for the tax breaks to stop an outbreak of Graboids on the other side of the world.

I can't decide whether or not Jamie Kennedy's Bruce Willis impersonation is just the right kind of tribute, or really self-referentially awful, mainly because I'm irrationally glad that this series is still going strong.

Okay, maybe strong's not the word. Direct to video in October. Check it out.

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30 Years on, Troll to Get a Direct Sequel, in 3D Animation

Thursday, July 30, 2015 at 11:30 am


Most of my readers are probably more familiar with Troll 2, beloved as one of the best bad movies ever made and having nothing to do with the original Troll. In it, vegetarian goblins in the town of Nilbog turn humans into plants with contaminated cake before eating them.

The original Troll, however, featured a troll living in the basement of an apartment building, and a little person who longed to be reborn as an elf, or something like that. It wasn't particularly great, so why are they reviving it now?

Oh yeah. The main character had a name that would go on to become significant, and the sequel is shouting it out loud, metaphorically...

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Hear a Real, Live Parrot Sing The Lego Movie Theme Song

Thursday, July 30, 2015 at 8:00 am


The image above is for illustration only. This parrot is not deceased. This parrot is not an ex-parrot.

This parrot, however, DOES seem to have better taste in original songs than the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. You've never known how awesome life can be until you've heard a bird sing about how everything is.

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Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Major Life Changes, and How to Talk to Nerds About Drugs

Thursday, July 30, 2015 at 6:30 am


Got questions? Martha Boyd has all sorts of answers. A desert-dweller, self-proclaimed crazy cat lady, former LAPD officer and widow to a Green Beret, she's seen and heard things crazier than you've imagined. And is ready for whatever odd questions you have, so bring them on!

Here we are at the end of the month again already. August is upon us and kids will be going back to school in a few weeks. Now out here in CA, August and September are generally the hottest months in the year so I never understood why the school year was not adjusted as a lot of our classrooms don't have air conditioning. The school year seems to get longer and the kids get dumber, so I have not figured that one out yet. Ah, and thus we home-schooled. I don't think it is the teachers. I know lots of great teachers; I think is the lack of parent support at home. To my teacher friends, hope you all have a great year and get nice kids this school year.

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7 Jurassic World Sequel Ideas I Just Pulled out of My Ass

Thursday, July 30, 2015 at 5:00 am


Okay, so we know there will be another Jurassic Park movie, directly sequelizing Jurassic World, and that both Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard will be returning. That's a no-brainer. But coming up with a surefire premise is more of a challenge.

See, the reason Jurassic World worked was because it showed us a version of the dinosaur park we hadn't seen before in the three previous movies - as a fully functioning tourist attraction we'd love to visit, until the monsters escape. You can't repeat the novelty of that, nor should you from a logical perspective, because why would anyone logically reopen that park again?

I can think of a few ideas. They may not all be winners.

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Cinefix's "Sweded" Ant-Man Trailer Is Almost Too Good

Wednesday, July 29, 2015 at 12:03 pm


When you're walking down the street, and you see a little ant, what'cha gonna do about Aaaaant-Man?

The whole point of Sweding - Michel Gondry's Be Kind Rewind fictional term for making homemade versions of actual movies - used to be, in part, how wonderfully cheap and cardboard-y they looked. This Ant-Man trailer one actually features costumes I'd call convention-ready. Now, I understand, Cinefix, that this feature is doing well so you probably gave it a bigger budget - but that could be counterproductive (see also Lucas, George).

The moment you start getting professional singers to do the "Dooo, dooo, dooo" on the soundtrack could be the moment I rebel. Thankfully we're not there yet.

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Chris Pine Is Finally Confirmed as Steve Trevor in Wonder Woman

Wednesday, July 29, 2015 at 8:00 am


Here's my theory as to why Pine will be Wonder Woman's love interest, though it's one that assumes imdb can be believed when it comes to biographical information:

Pine is six feet tall. Gal Gadot is 5' 10". In heels, she'll appear to be about the same height as he is.

Most Hollywood leading men are short, and don't like their leading ladies to be taller. Wonder Woman is an Amazon, so she has to be kinda tall. Getting a guy who's about the same height but not significantly taller was probably the only solution to this common ego issue.

Based on at least one comic rendition, he looks the part, too. Sorry, folks who were hoping he'd be Hal Jordan. All three of you.

NOTE: While there is also a story going around that Channing Tatum is out of the Gambit movie, most of the articles I've seen that have headlines "confirming" it actually hedge their bets in the story itself. So I don't buy it's definite...yet.

GIVEAWAY: Star Wars T-Shirts From Shirts.com

Tuesday, July 28, 2015 at 2:30 pm


Episode I - The T-shirt menace.

Turmoil has engulfed the galactic closet. The status of which shirts best cover your torso is in dispute.

Hoping to defuse the situation, Topless Robot is sending you two T-shirts for being one of two winners in this giveaway. So how do you force-push the odds into your favor?

It's simple. Assume, for the sake of argument, that JJ Abrams indulges all his worst impulses and that The Force Awakens is terrible. In comments below, describe what you think the worst scene will be (and if you make a lens flare joke, it had better be a damn good one). Two winners get to pick two Star Wars shirts apiece from Shirts.com (each one must be valued at $25 or less; shirts can ship to US or Canada addresses only).

Now get creative! I'll close the contest at noon on Tuesday, Aug. 4th, 2015.

TR Review: Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation Doesn't Quite Have Cruise Pegged

Tuesday, July 28, 2015 at 10:55 am


The official villain in Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation is a man named Solomon Lane, who heads up a secret shadow organization called the Syndicate, but the actual villain that Tom Cruise is looking to pummel into submission is the aging process. Cruise's Ethan Hunt can still do parkour and shimmy up a pole using nothing but ab crunches, yet his attempt to dye and wrestle his hair into Reaganesque submission is a greater battle than his fistfights with various villains, and he can't hide the old-man nose that's starting to get too big for his baby-face.

That's just the literal part of the equation. On a plot level, there's more.

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12 Revelations From the Makers of Starchaser: The Legend of Orin in 3D

Tuesday, July 28, 2015 at 5:00 am

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Ask most science-fiction fans to list their favorite genre movies of 1985 and they'll name Back to the Future, Brazil, Cocoon and Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. Ask me and you'll hear the same list, plus one extra title... Starchaser: The Legend of Orin. I first saw the film theatrically when it premiered on over a thousand screens in the fall of '85, and its cutting-edge mix of traditional and computer animation blew me away. Here was an original, independently produced space opera, filled with dazzling 3D imagery and an adult storyline! What a pity, then, that Starchaser never found an audience. As its 30th anniversary approaches, I spoke with the film's director/producer, Steven Hahn, and its screenwriter, Jeffrey Scott, about the challenges of bringing this groundbreaking 3D adventure to movie screens.

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