Finished Images of Batman Returns DeVito Penguin Figure Will Repel Unlimited Poontang

Friday, January 30, 2015 at 9:41 am

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Don't get me wrong - this thing is a masterpiece, with removable coat, hat and umbrella to create his sewer look as well as his mayoral candidate outfit. But place the terrifying 18-incher anywhere near your bed, and you'll get the opposite of what Max Shreck promised Oswald Cobblepot in the movie itself. Though it could be worse - at least your nose isn't gushing blood.

What's it supposed to do, hypnotize me? YES. I will spend money on this, I will spend money on this...

Julia Reviews a Mobile App (With Giveaway): SpongeBob: Sponge on the Run

Friday, January 30, 2015 at 8:00 am

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In this week's video, we are giving away five free download codes for the game in question, courtesy of Paramount Pictures. How do you enter? You'll have to watch and see!

Contest closes one week from today, Feb. 6th, at noon Pacific time. Note that codes will only work in the U.S., as we learned the hard way last time. Butt if you're not in the U.S. and wish to win one as a gift for somebody who is, you may do so.

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Casting Is Only a Symptom: The Main Fanboy Issue With Fantastic Four

Friday, January 30, 2015 at 6:30 am

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In 1988, when I heard that Michael Keaton was going to play Batman, I was not immediately outraged - I just thought, "Hmm, that's a really odd choice that doesn't seem quite right." I had more faith in Tim Burton than some, as his first two features were and are two of my all-time favorites. But Keaton? The big fear was that because he was known primarily for comedies, this upcoming Batman movie - that would be the definitive cinematic Batman movie in a way that Richard Donner's was the definitive cinematic Superman - was going to be comedic. And Batman comics fans, who had just devoured The Dark Knight Returns on the page, were really sick of people thinking that "DA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA BATMAN!" was the truest adaptation of the character. It wasn't that we thought Keaton couldn't act - Clean and Sober had proven indisputably that he could - but that we worried his casting was a clue to a tone we didn't want.

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7 Reasons We Don't Need Guillermo del Toro's At the Mountains of Madness

Friday, January 30, 2015 at 5:00 am

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For years Guillermo del Toro has been a filmmaker who makes his loves and influences known. For ten of those years he has been carrying an adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft's At the Mountains of Madness in his bag of tricks (which is kind of like Mary Poppins' bag of tricks, except he just says what's in the bag and leaves us to hope he'll pull it out someday.) Lovecraft's writing inspired some of the greatest horror writers and directors to come after it, and every day there are still more who find themselves enchanted by its legacy. Almost a hundred years after its publication, At the Mountains of Madness' language is dense but rich, old but well-aged. It is one of Lovecraft's longer stories, though entirely digestible.

So how would the del Toro movie be? SPOILERS abound from here on...


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Toy News Trifecta: 8-Bit Alien, Lego Helicarrier, Vinyl Bill Murray

Thursday, January 29, 2015 at 11:00 am

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We're coming up to Superbowl, but shortly after that comes the New York Toy Fair, on the heels of several international toy fairs that are leaking news. First up today is the latest in NECA's series of retro video-game repainted figures - a Dog Alien in a color scheme based on the 8-Bit Nintendo/Sega Master System Alien3 game. I bow to the wow.

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Ted 2 Trailer Is Literally More Masturbation From Seth MacFarlane

Thursday, January 29, 2015 at 9:54 am

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I enjoyed the first Ted, even though it's about 30 minutes too long - the entire subplot with Giovanni Ribisi could be jettisoned entirely for a tighter movie. And I'm delighted to see Sam J. Jones is back for the sequel; if nothing else, Seth MacFarlane has my respect forever for keeping the former Flash Gordon gainfully employed.

But a couple of things astonish me about this new trailer. One, that a green-band trailer for "all audiences" features Mark Wahlberg essentially getting attacked by falling semen jars (I'm old enough to remember The Right Stuff being off-limits to kids because of the sperm-sample scene that showed nothing). And two, how does Seth MacFarlane seem able to get any celebrity he wants to appear in whatever it is he wants to make?

Apparently there will be a separate Superbowl spot that's all about deflated balls, because of course.

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Terminator: Genisys Reveals Superbowl Spot and New Poster

Thursday, January 29, 2015 at 9:11 am

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So: bus flip, Asian T-1000 looks like a Mummy when in metal form, young Arnie has a terrible dye job, fireworks fireworks fireworks, and obligatory "I'll be back" "What?"

Better than the last spot, but still not selling me on any reason why this needs to exist. Old Man Arnold is no Old Man Clint Eastwood.

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That Walking Dead/Zombieland/Warm Bodies Spoof Movie You Never Knew You Didn't Want? It's Coming

Thursday, January 29, 2015 at 8:00 am

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Hey, guess what clever title they came up with for it.

Zombie Movie?

Good guess, but wrong.

Walking With Warm Zombie Bodies?

Another good guess, but those long hybrid titles aren't the hip thing anymore.

Get Stiff?

Stop. Believe it or not, that's actually funnier than anything this film came up with. No, it's actually called...

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Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Superbowl, Strange Magic and Snipers

Thursday, January 29, 2015 at 6:30 am

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In which ex-cop/crazy cat lady/mom-in-law Martha Boyd answers your questions from the coziness of the Joshua Tree desert.

Well, here we are in the the last week of the month, January is over already - bummer. It goes by faster as you get older. Some big doings will be happening the first week in Feburary here in the desert. This will be the 9th year, I believe, for King of the Hammers. It is a huge off-road racing event that is held out in the Johnson Valley area. This is North on Hwy 247 between Landers and Lucerne Valley. From what I understand racers from all over the world attend the event. For more information check out ultra4racing.com

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Check out New Star Wars Arcade Game Battle Pod in Action

Wednesday, January 28, 2015 at 2:54 pm

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We've known about this game for a while, but so far all that have been shown are static pictures. Today we get our first look at the game in action, with its immersive dome and flight-simulator set-up that lets you virtually fly into the battles of Hoth, Endor, Death Star I and Death Star II (NO PREQUELS).

It's in select arcades now, and expanding, presumably to places like Dave and Buster's where people who play it will remember the original movies, versus a new generation of kids who, months from now, will be saying: "Where's Finn? Where's Kylo Ren? Why no shiny flashy things right into your eyes? This isn't Star Wars." (Resign yourself, people. That will happen.)

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