Digging up the Marrow Looks Like the Next Best Thing to a Nightbreed Sequel

Monday, January 26, 2015 at 12:30 pm

digging-up-the-marrow.jpg

Yes, it's found-footage style, it's director Adam Green being really self-reflexive (as he loves to do, often to a fault), and it's not as overtly, flamingly as much of a gay allegory as the Nightbreed director's cut. But I'd defy any Clive Barker fan to watch this trailer and not get a major "Midian, where the monsters are" vibe.

With said monsters based on the work of Alex Pardee, who did the visual designs for Sucker Punch (which were great even if the movie was not, you have to admit), I'm hoping we finally have one of these fake-doc movies that doesn't hide the creatures the entire time.

More >>

Vanilla Ice Will Play Mark Twain in an Adam Sandler Western, and My Brain Just Broke

Monday, January 26, 2015 at 9:38 am

vicemarktwain.jpg

I can't quite wrap my head around the fact that I just wrote that sentence. I suppose it's fitting given that the most famous scene from anything Mark Twain ever wrote is one that involves convincing people that whitewashing is fun.

The movie, a Magnificent 7 spoof entitled Ridiculous 6 that will be the first of Sandler's straight-to-Netflix deal, will also star Sandler, Taylor Lautner, Nick Nolte, Steve Buscemi, Rob Schneider, Dan Aykroyd, Will Forte, Nick Swardson, Terry Crews, Jon Lovitz, Luke Wilson, Steve Zahn, Danny Trejo, Chris Parnell and Whitney Cummings.

I guess Sandler thinks he could have made A Million Ways to Die in the West a hit if it had starred him instead of Seth MacFarlane? Whatever. I'm down for any movie starring Vanilla Ice. 100% serious on that. If Sandler wants to remake the Claymation Mark Twain movie and have it be a Little Nicky crossover, bring it. Anything that keeps him from making another movie about a "fun" suburban dad who doesn't always have enough time for his kids.

I Suppose I Should Mention That Emma Watson Will Be Live-Action Belle in Beauty and the Beast

Monday, January 26, 2015 at 8:45 am

emmawatsonbelle.jpg

I mean, I guess this is news and stuff. I was too old to have that creepy jailbait crush on Hermione so I can't say I'm as excited as some will be to see her in that yellow dress, and the logic here seems to be, "Hmm, who's the only actress we know that has an English accent and played a character who liked books one time?"

Now, where can Disney find a much younger version of Patrick Warburton to be Gaston? Hell, acknowledge the creepy age thing people have with Watson and make it the actual Warburton, and you have my interest.

Is It Wrong That I Would Gladly Go See This Avengers/Step Up Crossover Movie?

Monday, January 26, 2015 at 6:30 am

stepupavenge.jpg

No, this fan trailer isn't just an interspersing of Avengers and Step Up clips, but rather the insertion of an entirely new character into scenes from The Avengers, giving everything a slightly new context.

And I'll be honest: I like it more than the Age of Ultron trailers so far. Don't get me wrong - I have faith there's more to AoU than we're really seeing thus far. But I would pay to see Avengers 2: Step Up. I say this never even having seen a Step Up movie, and never really hoping to.

More >>

Weekstarter: Apocalypse Ponies, Cyborg Biker and 18 Other Things You Need to See Today

Monday, January 26, 2015 at 5:00 am

fourhorsies.jpg
Tenacious Toys

Apocalypse ponies! Batmobile stroller! The ferocious frilled shark! Choosing your own adventure on Twitter!

These and 16 more items you may have missed over the weekend are here to start your morning out right.

More >>

Weekend Open Thread - Nymphomaniac Groot Edition

Friday, January 23, 2015 at 4:00 pm

grootnymphomaniac.jpg
Vanessa Menendez

A fun little mashup by a friend of mine, showcasing the fact that even an actual block of wood can act and fake an orgasm better than Shia LaBeouf can do an English accent.

In other news, Julia Roberts is going to star in a movie about that make-a-wish kid who was Batman for a day.

I am out. Play nice.

WTF Movie Poster of the Day: "Dolphin Lover" (It Is What You Think)

Friday, January 23, 2015 at 11:00 am

dolphinlover.jpg

"Hello, I'm Troy McClure..."

As they say in Starship Troopers, would you like to know more?


Three Actors I Never Heard of Before to Play Cyclops, Storm and Jean Grey in Next X-Movie

Thursday, January 22, 2015 at 6:26 pm

I've been away from the computer all day. Who are these people?

via Hollywood Reporter

TR Review: George Lucas' Latest Isn't Strange or Magical Enough

Thursday, January 22, 2015 at 2:30 pm

Strange-Magic-Poster-1.jpg

If someone told you that you had the power to ban any one song from ever being covered by any newer artist ever again in the history of time, what would you pick? I don't mean some easy mediocrity like "Never Gonna Give You up." I mean something that people always cover, and make you want to shoot them every single time.

For me, it's "Can't Help Falling in Love With You." It was blahhh even for Elvis, and has gotten steadily worse with every subsequent take on it by idiots who think it sounds deeply romantic. UB-40's version alone should have killed it dead, but instead, here it is opening a new George Lucas CGI-fest. Dumb Gungan say/Meesa in big dudu now.

More >>

TR Interview: Director Dean Israelite on the Found-Footage, Time-Travel Mayhem of Project Almanac

Thursday, January 22, 2015 at 11:00 am

projectalmanac.jpg

Found-footage is most frequently used as a device to scare the audience, in the hopes that showing them something through the lens of something they own makes it feel more realistic and grounded. Project Almanac takes an even bigger leap with the format than ghosts, however, by showing us footage that has traveled through time - repeatedly (yes, the last Paranormal Activity pulled out a time portal, but only briefly, and as a "surprise" ending).

Believe it or not, this low-budget movie that uses hand-held cameras and actors who look like they could actually be in high school was produced by Michael Bay and directed by Dean Israelite, cousin of the guy who brought us the Ninja Turtles reboot. I'm embargoed from opining at length on the film, but suffice it to say I'm not surprised female lead Sofia Black D'Elia is already headed for bigger things (female lead in a needless Ben Hur remake, but still) - she's that rare oxymoron of a believable dreamgirl, in a part that would have gone to Shannyn Sossamon 15 years ago, or Teri Hatcher 25 years ago.

But we're here to talk to the director, and thankfully, he had quite a lot to say.

More >>