Comicave's New 6-Inch Diecast Iron Man Action Figure Calls Shotgun

Wednesday, August 26, 2015 at 8:00 am

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I'm frequently amazed that collectors exist who will pay top dollar to own every single Iron Man suit ever in toy form, but they do, and the figures keep coming. This particular variant is

the Mark 40 variant, also known by its moniker, "Shotgun," is a hyper-velocity traveling suit and was one a new generation of Iron Man armored suits created by Tony Stark for the Iron Legion. The suit received its nickname, "Shotgun," for the explosive sonic boom it creates when breaking the sound barrier in flight.
This fully articulated figure is 75% metal (sort of like Metallica post-Load), features LEDs in the head and chest, and being the first of many Singapore imports by Bluefin from Comicave Studios, will run you around $140.

As a bonus, if you get bored of it someday you can melt it down to make cutlery. But please only do that if you actually know how.

10 Fictional Heroes Who Really Suck at Their Jobs

Wednesday, August 26, 2015 at 5:00 am

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On the surface, heroes are who we should aspire to be. When you examine specific ones closely, however, you'll notice many are ill-suited for their duties. Are these flaws designed to humanize them, or do writers just not realize how terrible these modern day role models are? Just because they have a loftier than average vocation doesn't mean they're not incompetent. If your favorite hero has been around long enough, they're bound to have off-days (not to mention days when they're mind controlled into turning evil), so let's try to focus on the ones that have chronically underperformed, have the wrong attitude for their profession, or massively screwed up. So yeah, there will be SPOILERS.

(This excludes characters that are intentionally satirical like Sterling Archer and the Tick. I'll also avoid characters who failed into obscurity; you lucked out this time, Sir Denis Nayland Smith! Or should I say the destitute racist's Sherlock Holmes?) So if you've ever gotten a lousy performance review at work, take comfort in knowing that your career could still be the basis for a popular hero one day!

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King Kong vs. NWA: Compton's Eazy-E and Dr. Dre Head to Skull Island

Tuesday, August 25, 2015 at 5:02 pm

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I can only assume they will intimidate the big ape with their streetwise lyrics and gangster swagger. Two out of Straight Outta Compton's three leads, Corey Hawkins and Jason Mitchell will be going from Compton to Skull Island.

Variety describes Mitchell's character as "an easy going pilot." I think they mean an EAZY DUZ IT pilot, but regardless, that would most likely mean Skull Island is set in a more modern time period than Peter Jackson's 1933-set version, when air travel meant biplanes and the Air Force wasn't integrated.

It'll never happen, but I would freak out so hard if they did a rap track called "Fuck the Gorilla" for the soundtrack.

Despite Its Cast, Kids vs. Monsters Is Probably Not That Monster Squad Reboot You'd Hope for

Tuesday, August 25, 2015 at 12:55 pm

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Lance Henriksen! Malcolm McDowell! Adrian Paul! Richard Moll!

...will do anything for money, apparently.

You see a Cthulhu on a poster, and you get your hopes up. Then you see that one of the other monsters has a beetroot for a head.

Or am I being overly judgmental today?

Kids vs. Monsters debuts on-demand Sept. 29th. The trailer is below...

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10 MMA Fighters Who Would Make Better Movie Heroes than Ronda Rousey or Gina Carano

Tuesday, August 25, 2015 at 11:19 am

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It took almost as much time (34 seconds) for Ronda Rousey to dispatch her latest challenger down in Brazil as it did for her next film project to be announced. Rousey has taken the sports world by storm in 2015, and she's looking to do the same in the movie world, having appeared in The Expendables 3, Furious 7 and Entourage between whooping ass in the Octagon. She's even passed up former hot thing fighter-turned actress Gina Carano. The thing is, she's not (yet) as passable an actress as Carano, though she's certainly more badass.

It took some scouring - and in a few cases straight-up stretching - but I've put together a list of 10 MMA fighters who could conceivably match or exceed both Rousey and Carano in the entertainment world if given a chance beyond the bargain bin of your local Walmart.

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The Human Centipede Pot Pipe Will Get You Shitfaced

Tuesday, August 25, 2015 at 10:00 am

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Experienced connoisseurs of marijuana know that the smoke is best when filtered through water. But through an entire digestive system?

If you thought Marky Mark and Ted were wusses to refuse to smoke from the penis bong in Ted 2, we're talking amateur hour compared to this Human Centipede pipe made by a fellow named Dustin Yunker. I'm not sure whether your mouth goes on the ass or the other mouth - I just know that you will look terrible either way. So make sure the high is worth it.

Via Dangerous Minds, h/t Sly Dante

The Official Hello Kitty/Chucky Hybrid of Your Nightmares Is Here

Tuesday, August 25, 2015 at 9:00 am

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It's hard to imagine any American company being as free with their kid-focused character as Sanrio is with Hello Kitty. A normal marketing person might just say, "Hey, wait a minute. A cute anthropomorphic kitten and a voodoo-possessed doll inhabited by a serial killer are not compatible!" But in Japan, that is just backward-thinking, as this Hello Kitty Chucky will go on sale in Universal theme parks next month.

I think we may have finally found the item that will test my wife's undying loyalty to Hello Kitty, since she hates Chucky. Stay tuned....

UPDATE: Wife reaction.

"Why must they hurt me?" Then, "Like I've always said, anyone can play in her sandbox. This is proof of that."

via Kotaku

Is Johnny the Real Hero of The Karate Kid?

Monday, August 24, 2015 at 12:30 pm

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Yes, he goes to a scarily named dojo, and Daniel has that Bananarama song to make him all sympathetic. But what if we looked at it from Johnny's point of view? Might he not have been trying to contain a danger to society and his demon-sorcerer mentor?

You will not be surprised to learn that one man believes this to be the case. So let J. Matthew Turner explain, with appropriate clips.

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How to Spot a Dubious Star Wars Rumor: CGI Peter Cushing Edition

Monday, August 24, 2015 at 11:00 am

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Sometimes people just want to believe a Star Wars rumor so much they'll insist it's convincing, with the latest one to cross my path being this:

[Peter] Cushing, star of many Hammer House of Horror movies, will be digitally recreated in the new Star Wars spin-off Rogue One, which is being filmed at Pinewood Studios in Buckinghamshire and is due to be released late next year.
Okay, so why isn't this credible? After all, Marlon Brando was digitally recreated for Superman Returns. Let me break it down for you.

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Ash Reveals a Favorite Dessert in new Evil Dead Trailer

Monday, August 24, 2015 at 8:00 am

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There are scenes in this trailer you may have scene before - like some throat stabbings and Bruce Campbell in a corset, all worth watching again, and again, and again - but the newest spot for Ash vs. Evil Dead changes things up a bit, with Lucy Lawless looking pissed and Ash being cluelessly culturally insensitive in a whole new way.

It's finally starting to sink in that we're getting more Evil Dead - the real stuff. It is also sinking in that Starz will require yet another additional fee on my cable bill. That part's not so grrovy.

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