Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Haters Gonna Hate

Thursday, August 21, 2014 at 8:00 am

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Martha Boyd is not just Luke's mother-in-law - she's also an ex-cop, a landlord, a self-described crazy cat lady, a major Star Trek geek and the widow of a green beret. So go ahead: ask her anything. And we mean anything.

But get on her bad side, and she's gonna let you know...

Hello, hello. I have several things to rant about this week, and as I did not get alot of questions, I have lots of room to vent. I have both good and bad to comment on. Let's get the bad right out of the way...


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10 Character Deaths that Warped the Minds of '80s Children

Thursday, August 21, 2014 at 6:00 am

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My first real-life experience with death took place when I was about five years old. Apparently, while I was at kindergarten, one of my two hamsters decided he no longer liked his roommate, and proceeded to do his best Hannibal Lecter impression on him. My mother walked in and saw the surviving rodent elbows deep in his counterpart's entrails. As my home had a strict "No Cannibalism" policy, she felt it was necessary to dispose of the offending creature before he busted out a nice Chianti. Her method of execution was to take the hamster, put it in a mason jar, and heave it as far as she could into the woods (sorry PETA, but this took place 30 years ago, so the statute of limitations is long past). As I walked off the bus, my sister, absolutely delighted with the thought of delivering me disastrous news, ran down to tell me the tale of the untimely deaths of both of my beloved pets. I walked the rest of the way home from the bus crying my eyes out when to my surprise, I saw my hamster was walking up the street towards my house. It was a Christmas miracle in October, that is until my mom assured me that it was not my dead hamster, scooped him up, put him in another mason jar, SEALED it this time with a lid, poked holes in the lid so it wouldn't die relatively painlessly by asphyxiation and could instead starve to death, and then launched him once more into the woods.


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12 Marvel Characters That Need to Appear on Agent Carter

Wednesday, August 20, 2014 at 6:00 am

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Who ever expected Peggy Carter to be the breakout character of Captain America: The First Avenger? Thanks to Hayley Atwell's kickass yet compassionate performance, this once obscure supporting character will be headlining her own TV show on ABC. Agent Carter will act as a period piece prequel to Agents of SHIELD by showing the SSR of WWII before it upgraded to a cooler acronym. (Some sources say the show will take place between the first Captain America and the Agent Carter One-Shot.) Its eight-episode first season is slated to air during the middle hiatus of Agents of SHIELD's second season.

Hopefully its showrunners, Tara Butters and Michele Fazekas, will learn from the mistakes of Marvel Studios' first foray into live action TV. Agents of SHIELD has the unfortunate habit of dealing with some nifty Marvel stuff in the most perfunctory manner possible, or wedging it between bland character work while it treads water. Agent Carter can hopefully avoid these pitfalls, especially if it surrounds Peggy with some dynamic characters from the comics. I'm acting under the assumption that anyone from the first Captain America who didn't have a dramatic exit (Howard Stark, Colonel Chester Phillips, the Howling Commandos, Dr. Arnim Zola) is potentially in play, so this list is just for new characters to be introduced. Stark butler Edwin Jarvis is already confirmed to appear, making JARVIS 50% creepier now that we know Tony based it off a real person. The Marvel Cinematic Universe's timeline doesn't exactly match up to Marvel' Comics' timeline (Nick Fury wasn't old enough to be a Howling Commando in the movieverse despite starring in a book named Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos!), so I'm picking the characters that would best fill out the espionage action showcase even if they weren't originally active during WWII. So who should Peggy Carter bring along with her when she inevitably conquers television?


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Agents of SHIELD Gets Former Wonder Woman

Tuesday, August 19, 2014 at 11:24 am

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Adrianne Palicki, who starred in the never-aired Wonder Woman pilot and played Lady Jaye in the last G.I. Joe movie, will join Agents of SHIELD as Mockingbird, a.k.a. Bobbi Morse (ironic...it's as if they're mocking somebody, or something...I wonder what?). As the Hollywood Reporter notes, the character was mentioned in a video shown at Comic-Con.

Somehow I don't think she'll be wearing the costume shown above, or even the oversized yellow sunglasses she's also known for. Though I'd love to see Marvel try it.

Blu-ray Today: Jamie Foxx's Big, Blue Veiny Head Is Electric

Tuesday, August 19, 2014 at 8:00 am

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Yes, today is the day that those of you who like mediocre attempts at cinematic franchise-building packed inside the noggin of an Oscar-winner made to look utterly embarrassing have been waiting for. Own The Amazing Spider-Man 2 on Blu-ray in a blue head, and you too can enjoy deleted scenes that make the movie even worse, like the alternate ending in which Peter's dad shows up alive to deliver the "With great power..." line, because in this reality, that's just another thing Uncle Ben fucked up.

if you own a 3D TV, the action sequences should give it a workout. If you don't, and you must buy it, pretend you got it so you can make out with Jamie Foxx's lifeless replica lips, or have sex with his mouth...that's less embarrassing than the alternative: that you wish to view the movie multiple times. Accept it as a gift to be polite if you need to.

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Top-Down Smackdown: The Part-Time Champ Is Here!

Monday, August 18, 2014 at 5:07 pm

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As a big Brock Lesnar fan, I was on edge throughout his big match yesterday. I've been around long enough to see the pattern, and what was unfolding before my eyes was essentially the Hulk Hogan formula. After taking a beating the whole match, Cena would surely "Hulk up" and suddenly become Superman again, making yet another challenger look terrible.

Except that didn't happen. An attempt at a "Hulk up" completely crashed and burned, and in the end, John Cena, the guy who has steamrolled every major opponent in WWE, was made to look absolutely pitiful. For fans hoping a match at the level of Lesnar vs. Punk last year, it was a lopsided bummer that overused the German suplex (16 times, apparently). But for Cena haters, it was a long time coming. What happens now?

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17 Stories You May Have Missed: Chicken Gimp Suit, Lego Mario, Weaponized Horse Crap, More

Monday, August 18, 2014 at 6:00 am

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Hello Kitty in Space

SummerSlam happened this weekend (result: John Cena gets time off to make movies), as did my best friend's birthday, so it's a treat to catch up on things that happened elsewhere, about which I did not know. With the aid of Kyle LeClair, here are some reader-submitted stories we might not have caught otherwise.

This week's tipsters include: troi, Anyone00, jaganar, SlyDante777, Gallen_Dugall, Timely_Flower-Hermit, Dr.Gonzo82

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GIVEAWAY: Power Rangers Megaforce Complete DVD Set

Thursday, August 14, 2014 at 4:00 pm

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With the news of the Power Rangers reboot movie coming to theaters on July 22nd, 2016, it was time to wrap up the Megaforce storyline, and this week saw the release of the fifth and final DVD in the series. In it, "with the help of Robo Knight, the Ultra Gosei Great Megazord and all of their Power Cards and Morphers, the Power Rangers race against time to defeat a reborn Admiral Malkor, a giant Metal Alice, the transformed Cyborg Vrak and a powerful new alien called The Messenger!"

No idea what the significance of any of that is, but it sounds like there will be fighting, and lots of it.


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Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Made Contact, Now Back to Earth

Thursday, August 14, 2014 at 8:00 am

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Martha Boyd is not just Luke's mother-in-law - she's also an ex-cop, a landlord, a self-described crazy cat lady, a major Star Trek geek and the widow of a green beret. So go ahead: ask her anything. And we mean anything.

Wow, amazing how fast Thursday comes back around when you are having fun. As you know I spent last weekend at Contact in the Desert. Thank you all for reading my report on the event and thank you LYT for printing it - I hope that I get to cover something again for TR. Anywa,y the event was pretty good and I would volunteer for it again if it is held in Joshua Tree next year. There were some rough edges at the event, but I am pretty sure the venue will have the taken care of before next year. They can't do anything about the heat. The speakers were great. I loved getting to meet George Noory and the other speakers.

But this week it is back to Earth and reality. We have had heavy rain and flash flooding again, so I've been getting out to do my appraisals early in the morning before it gets too hot and humid. Got some stuff going on this weekend, and will let you all know next week. So now, let's see what you have come up with for me this week.

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10 Reasons I Can't Blame Robin Williams for Wanting to Take His Own Life

Thursday, August 14, 2014 at 6:00 am

Important Note: I am not condoning or supporting Robin Williams' decision to commit suicide; I merely refuse to condemn him for it. Anyone suffering suicidal thoughts needs to seek help. If you live in the US you can call 1-800-273-8255. If you live in another country please look up the number to call for where you're at.

Most of August 11th was a good day for me. I awoke feeling kind of low, took a shower got lunch and headed to the gym to work out. When I got home, I was feeling damn good. Then I saw a post on Twitter mentioning Robin Williams and the words "in memory" and thought, "Is there some Internet rumor or hoax going around about him being dead?"... and then I found out it wasn't a rumor... then I found out how he died. After decades of struggling with depression and or bi-polar disorder, one of the greatest comedians of the 20th century and arguably in human history succumbed to dark thoughts and awful urges.

I was hit with a plethora of emotions by the news... I'm still trying to process it all. The biggest emotion I have to deal with is empathy. At times like this, some are tempted to say "There but for the grace of god/fate/the flying spaghetti monster go I". The truth for me is there's no "but for the grace"... just "There go I?" hanging over my head like a storm cloud in the sky. I hold no ill will towards Robin Williams for hanging himself, because it's all too easy for me to understand why he might have done it...

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