Least Successful Married...With Children Alumnus Claims a Revival Is Happening

Thursday, July 30, 2015 at 9:33 am

bud-bundy.jpg

Katey Sagal went on to Sons of Anarchy and Futurama. Ed O'Neill is still on Modern Family. Christina Applegate currently stars in the Vacation re-quel.

And David Faustino? He's been producing rap albums, not unlike his character Bud Bundy might. But with shows like Full House making comebacks, he's caught the bug too, and appears to be going full-Richard Hatch.

"The whole cast, including Christina, is down to do little bits in it," Faustino said, adding, "The idea would be a pilot for a spinoff. That's all I can say right now. It involves me and few other people."
He said this at the premiere of Vacation - it honestly sounds to me like they're just being polite and humoring him.

The primary joke in Married...With Children was that a jock who peaked in high school went on to have an absolutely miserable family life, and was mainly happy making other people feel worse, in a sitcom that inverted the then-common happy-ever-after formula. Bud Bundy was a miserable failure from day one - seeing him still be one as an adult just doesn't have the same humor factor. And sitcoms have been deconstructed to death since Married was last on the air. Faustino is literally the only one who stands to benefit, which is why I think it will never happen.

Would you want it to?

Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Major Life Changes, and How to Talk to Nerds About Drugs

Thursday, July 30, 2015 at 6:30 am

frizzyinabox.jpeg

Got questions? Martha Boyd has all sorts of answers. A desert-dweller, self-proclaimed crazy cat lady, former LAPD officer and widow to a Green Beret, she's seen and heard things crazier than you've imagined. And is ready for whatever odd questions you have, so bring them on!

Here we are at the end of the month again already. August is upon us and kids will be going back to school in a few weeks. Now out here in CA, August and September are generally the hottest months in the year so I never understood why the school year was not adjusted as a lot of our classrooms don't have air conditioning. The school year seems to get longer and the kids get dumber, so I have not figured that one out yet. Ah, and thus we home-schooled. I don't think it is the teachers. I know lots of great teachers; I think is the lack of parent support at home. To my teacher friends, hope you all have a great year and get nice kids this school year.

More >>

Top-Down Smackdown: Iron Sheik's Managers Are Trying Again, This Time With Virgil

Monday, July 27, 2015 at 2:55 pm

thevirgil.jpg

Before we get fully into the topic at hand, I went to a WWE house show this past weekend for my birthday and thought there were a couple of details worth noting:

-Brad Maddox is back as a wrestler, teaming here with Adam Rose. Maddox did all the talking, using a fitness gimmick and insisting on addressing the L.A. audience as "San Diego." The team lost to Damien Sandow and Curtis Axel, who've had to drop the fake Hogan/Savage gimmick and now wear generic black ring gear.

-New Day sang a hilariously off-key, cracked falsetto version of "We Are the Champions" to get heat. It worked. Cesaro (wrestling as a good guy) managed to spin Kofi around 43 times.

-Jimmy Uso wrestled solo, losing to Luke Harper.

-The John Cena/Kevin Owens hardcore match was the best Cena match I've seen in years. Owens went through two tables at one point.

-The superstar souvenir cup still depicts Roman Reigns with brown eyes.

More >>

Fake "Randy Orton v Superman: Dawn of RKO" Trailer Is the Best Randy Orton-Based Thing Ever

Monday, July 27, 2015 at 8:00 am

randyortonvsuperman.jpg

Who's Randy Orton?
A WWE wrestler who comes off as a total douche and basically has one good move - the RKO - that's more or less a rip-off of Steve Austin's Stone Cold Stunner.

Fuck. Aren't you supposed to keep the stupid wrestling posts to one a week? You wrote about Hulk Hogan on Friday, and now this?
I'm sorry. But this is about superhero movies too. Also, Randy Orton has made movies as well as being a wrestler.

Like fucking what?
Well, he did The Marine 3...oh no, wait, he got fired from that after actual military people found out he was a dishnorably discharged former Marine. Umm...he was in that one movie about bullying, where Ed Harris played a gay teacher.

And who did he play?
A total douche. He doesn't stretch much.

Why are we even talking about this, again?
Because the fake trailer you're about to see is really funny, with a barely animated Randy Orton fighting Henry Cavill and everyone else.

So why are you totally ripping off Rob right now?
I didn't call this a spoiler FAQ, so it's totally different.

No it isn't.
I'll give you a magic kiss that will make you forget everything.

Please don't.
Okay. But you're missing out.

More >>

WWE's Race Problem Is Bigger Than Hulk Hogan

Friday, July 24, 2015 at 12:00 pm

ronsimmonsdamn.jpg

(Please pardon the non-Monday wrestling post. I didn't think this could wait.)

I often say when it comes to racism accusations that intent matters. A white guy rapping lyrics to an NWA song aloud - including the "N" in their name, in full - probably does not hate black people. But a guy talking about how he doesn't want his daughter dating a black person, and if she must then he wishes it were a basketball player? No way around that - that's a racist thought and utterance.

But firing Hulk Hogan for saying that (in private, on a tape that's at least three years old), and scrubbing the entire WWE website to make it look like he never existed or was acknowledged, is both historically ignorant and a superficial gesture, the equivalent of MLB pretending Ty Cobb never happened. I don't have a problem with the firing in and of itself - but I do have a problem with WWE's official statement on the matter, which includes the phrase "WWE is committed to embracing and celebrating individuals from all backgrounds as demonstrated by the diversity of our employees, performers and fans worldwide."

As Miz would say: "Really?"

More >>

When Crossbows Are Outlawed, Only Outlaw Lamps Will Have Daryl Dixon's Crossbow

Thursday, July 23, 2015 at 9:30 am

daryldixonlamp.jpg

Now here's a light fixture that will make me bolt...straight to the bank so I can get the money to own this Walking Dead illuminator. If I were the dad in A Christmas Story, this is the lamp I'd want as a very special award.

It is decorative only, so if a real zombie attack happens, don't just think you can break the base off and use it as a weapon. But feel free to daydream to that effect.

For $71.99, it seems like it ought to come with a light bulb. I'm guessing it doesn't because the manufacturers are concerned that if Daryl's light dies, you riot...and they don't want it to be against them.

Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Looking for Noah's Ark

Thursday, July 23, 2015 at 6:30 am

martha7-23-15-1.jpg

Got questions? Martha Boyd has all sorts of answers. A desert-dweller, self-proclaimed crazy cat lady, former LAPD officer and widow to a Green Beret, she's seen and heard things crazier than you've imagined. And is ready for whatever odd questions you have, so bring them on!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYT. Yes it is that time of year again to wish Happy Birthday to LYT. A big round of TR happiness.

Well, another full, filled week in the desert has come and gone. We were doing the happy dance over the weekend - we got rain. Most of us were standing outside, looking up with our mouths open, going "The sky is falling!" Rain over the last few years has been few and far between. It was lovely to sit outside with my morning coffee on Saturday and get wet and not from being in the pool. I have a nice bench under the eaves to the house so it makes a great place to sit and not get super-wet. We even had great lightning. All of my trees and cacti are happy campers right now; they got watered.

More >>

Sharknado 3 SPOILER Thread - Oh Hell Maybe?

Wednesday, July 22, 2015 at 5:45 pm

sharknado3-deutsch.jpg

We haven't really done a spoiler thread since the comments changed to Facebook. Let's see how this works.

Watch This Legoland Commercial Instead of Pixels

Wednesday, July 22, 2015 at 2:45 pm

legolandpixels.jpg

It's totally the same idea, but much, much shorter and nobody gets hurt - either in the ad or emotionally from watching it.

(Having been to Legoland, however, I would posit that "Awesome Awaits" is a misleading statement if you're over the age of, say, 7.)

More >>

7 Things We Want to See in a Xena: Warrior Princess Reboot

Wednesday, July 22, 2015 at 5:00 am

XenaWarriorPrincessScreenCap3.jpg
Screen shot of Xena: Warrior Princess

On Monday, rumors surfaced that Xena: Warrior Princess would get the reboot treatment from NBC. According to Hollywood Reporter, the network and executive producers Rob Tapert and Sam Raimi are looking for writers to give the 1990s fantasy series an updated spin.

Of course, these are just rumors at this point, something that star Lucy Lawless tweeted herself. Just the mention of a possible new Xena gets fans heads spinning with what should or shouldn't be in the show. Yes, we're weighing in with our own thoughts on the subject.

More >>