​
From the mouth of Neil Gaiman himself, as told to SFX magazine:

"Over the years SFX, and its readers and their votes in the polls, have always been very kind to me. I thought I'd return the favour with what used to be called, in journalistic circles when I was a boy, a scoop.

As anyone who's read my blog knows, I'm a big fan of a certain long-running British SF TV series. One that started watching -- from behind the sofa -- when I was three. And while I know it's cruel to make you wait for things, in about 14 months from now, which is to say, NOT in the upcoming season but early in the one after that, it's quite possible that I might have written an episode. And if I had, it would originally have been called "The House of Nothing". But it definitely isn't called that any more.

Countdown. You've got about 14 months."

FUCK. AND. YES. Pic of a giant Neil Gaiman crouching next to a normal-sized TARDIS or a normal Neil Gaiman holding up a tiny, adorable TARDIS courtesy of Den of Geek.

​

"Sometimes, I think the writers of Heroes were out of coffee when they wrote a scene. 'Write anything man. We've gotta make a beans run!'" -- @cathyccaughan

"Heroes is still on? Really? Seriously?" -- @TheKimSchneider

"Oh my god. I'm literally shaking with rage at how stupid Heroes was tonight." -- @ToplessRobot

These are just a few of the anti-Heroes sentiments that can be found on Twitter each time a new episode of NBC's once acclaimed superhero show airs. It hasn't always been this way -- NBC literally handed us a comic book on TV four years ago, and nerds and critics alike rejoiced. But after that one wonderful season, Heroes has squandered all of its nerdy good will with three seasons of some of the worst writing on television, combining boredom, one-dimensional characters, and total inconsistency in new but generally unwatchable ways. And yet, no matter how much it sucks, we keep watching the damn show. Alas, much like Heroes' "mysteries," the reasons why aren't really that mysterious. Now, with the last episode of season 4 -- and possibly the series finale as well -- airing tonight, here are seven.

​In honor of the Smallville: Absolute Justice special airing tonight at 8pm EST, as well as my ill-advised live-blogging of said special when I know nothing about Smallville or the JSA, I decided to poke around for some Smallville fan fic for today's entry. Buried deep within the Clark/Lois, Clark/Chloe, Clark/Lana, Clark/Chloe/Lana/Lois, and Clark/Lex stories was this little gem from Superman181, which, to give it credit, at least takes place in the show's title location and not in Metropolis.

Lois Lane had been working hard on the farm all day and she stunk to high heaven. She put down the shovel and walked into the Kent house. She knew no one else was home, so she began taking off her clothes as she walked up the stairs. By the time she reached the bathroom, her tank top and short jean shorts had been removed, and she was just in her polkadot bra and panties. In a matter of minutes, those were gone too. She turned on the bath water almost as hot as it could go. Steam began to fill the room. Lois began undoing her braided pigtails. With her hair let down and Lois Lane in all her glory, she admired herself in the mirror. She had a damn good body and she knew it. Her large breasts were perky, and the nipples were a tan-brown and puffed out just enough.

Oh, lord. Puffed out enough for what? I'm truly glad my mind cannot provide me with answers (if you have some theories, feel free to not share them with me in the comments). You know, let's just continue this after the jump.

After the Lost premiere on Tuesday night, this was inevitable -- some nerd lined up the footage of the two Oceanic flight 815 sequences starring Jack and Rose to see how they compared. It's not exactly amazing in and of itself; I mean, one flight crashes, the other doesn't, and we knew that. But it is interesting to see how closely the directors tried to match the new footage to the season 1 footage, from the deliveries to the cadences and so forth -- and how well they succeeded -- just so the actual differences would stand out more. Neat. (Via New York)

​...yeah. These are Bif Bang Pow's new Lost figures, done in the Mego-style. They are slightly terrifying. All those people who were upset when I mentioned that Bif Bang Pow was also going to make their Venture Bros. figures Mego-style -- well, I don't imagine these are helping. I mean, look at Ben:
​Even I can't swear that toy won't kill me in my sleep. I love Lost, but I'd rather take my chances with the smoke monster, frankly.

That said -- Venture fans, I think it's going to be okay. first of all, Bif Bang Pow's JLabs came on to TR during that post and said they'd still be exploring regular action figures with the Venture license. If the Megos don't sell, I promise you they'll try normal action figures rather than give up on the license -- and more likely, they'll end up doing both anyways.

Second of all, I think Lost isn't doing Mego figures a favor, or vice versa. Megos aren't really designed to have realistic heads, like from a modern, live-action TV show. I honestly think the retro, cartoon designs of The Venture Bros. will work much, much better as Megos than these guys. We'll have to wait and see, but if you're a Mego-hating Venture Bros. fan, I don't think there's any reason to lose your shit at the moment. All right? (Via Mego Museum)

First, Lost fans. Our long wait is over and the final season begins tonight (you may have heard). I'm excited as hell, so for one last hurrah here's the "Lost answers Song."

Although a nerdy novelty song, it does work as a shockingly accurate checklist of everything I want answered from the show, if only for proof that these writers knew more about where they were going than the BSG writers. At any rate, this is a great day for nerds -- don't let anyone bring you down.

Now, Lost haters -- come on. Even if you don't like Lost, it's the biggest fucking nerd show on TV. Am I not supposed to cover it? I loathe Heroes, but sometimes there's it has news. Should I not cover it? Of course not. You guys need to chill. That said, now that the premiere is finally here, I don't think there'll be much news/nerd media regarding Lost until the finale -- but yes, I'm going to cover it again then.  Still, I want to offer an olive branch -- you obviously don't care about me ending the day with a Lost song, so you may enjoy this instead.

See? I wasn't joking. There's a wacky, zany, kooky nerd video for everybody. So remember: when life gives you Predators, you don't go around telling Predators they suck on internet comment threads. You make a fucking trap and drop a massive spiked log into the fucker. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Clark, I know you're not the sharpest Kryptonian in the shed, so let me save you a lot of time and trouble -- Ozymandias did it.

Guys, don't forget that I'll be live-blogging the two-hour Smallville: Absolute Justice event this Friday, starting at 8pm. Do I know anything about the JSA? Not at all. Have I seen an episode of Smallville in the last five years? Nope. Will that stop me from being a bastard? No chance. However, Smallville does have the advantage in that if it's even slightly coherent and not utterly boring for both hours, it will be a marked improvement over this season of Heroes. (Via DC's Source)