My initial thought was, "How cinematic." Then I realized just how much 20th-century thinking I was doing. This isn't cinematic; it's more. Rather, the movies that contain moments of this sort are game-like.
With that said, how poorly cartoony do the Mario and Nintendo characters look? Graphics aren't everything, but it's seriously time that our cartoony game characters looked at least up to Buzz Lightyear level.
Also, future iterations of Hemp Tycoon need to actually get you high. Get on that, somebody. ["Dude, man, I'm gonna make that happen" - imaginary stoned guy in charge of that.]More >>
Or it might make you think, "Gee, that's the red room from Twin Peaks in that image above. And the origami stuff in the trailer is just like Blade Runner, but maybe with slightly less narcoleptic Harrison Ford voice-over to tell me what's up in hung-over, obvious detail."
i think there's a great Metamorphosis game to be had where you wake up as a cockroach and must traverse your apartment from a new perspective. I don't think this it. Then again, Steven Soderbergh's Kafka movie wasn't entirely on-topic either, and that may be the point.
In other news: why have I never watched that Kafka movie yet? It looks damn good. Feel free to tell me otherwise.More >>
As always, if you have a piece of Fan Fiction you'd like to have read aloud, send it to toplessrobot-at-gmail with subject line "Read My Fanfic."
This was sufficiently long that I divided it into two parts, but I don't think you'll feel...unsupplied by either.
The Fanfic: "The Grand Finale" by King Splooge.
The Participants: Sonic the Hedgehog, Knuckles, Tails, Shadow, Amy and Dr. Robotnik.
Described Herein (Part 1 Only): Sexual machinery, masturbation, near pants-soiling, marijuana, theft, face-shooting, profanity, blood-coughing, beatdowns, limb-from-limb rending, exploding guts, homophobic slurs...(cont.)More >>
Capcom's Dead Rising series helped kicked off the last console generation with the Xbox-exclusive first entry and promises to do the same with the release of Dead Rising 3 alongside the newly-released Xbox One. And across three games so far - Dead Rising, Dead Rising 2, and the digital prequel, Dead Rising: Case Zero - what a curious series it is, full of fratricide, odd eroticism, plague bugs, killer clowns, and, uh, photography?
Although reviews are indicating that Dead Rising 3 might take a darker tack with its open world zombie-killing formula - Kotaku says the current game attempts to keep the narrative "grounded," while IGN isn't sure if the game knows it's a parody - we thought we'd revisit some of the stranger choices in the first three games. Let's celebrate the weirdness of the dead, from the stories, to the mechanics, to the question everyone will ask: why are you so needy Otis, oh god won't you leave me alone?!More >>
Sony The goal.
This year, my wife, daughter, and I made a momentous and terrible decision to join the midnight/overnight shoppers on Black Friday this year. We wanted to mass upgrade our Xbox 360s to Playstation 4 units and it seemed the only opportunity to finally obtain them. We had missed the original launch and stock has been scarce since (more on this later). It was a fairly difficult decision as we were tired and full of turkey and mashed potatoes, not to mention our feet already hurt after preparing food that morning...but we went ahead with it. And so, in honor of this fine consumerist holiday, here are some things I learned while you sane people were sleeping:
Let's face it - we like to bitch. It's not for nothing that Star Trek fans have the original reputation of nit-picking fictional facts - all fandoms like to do it, and the Trekkers were just the most visible ones to do it first and take the hit for the rest of us in the popular mindset.
That's why I like to take stop and stock of what I'm grateful for every year, but I thought an entire list on my own might come off boring or long-winded. Instead, I have collaborated with many of the other TR writers to come up with something more comprehensive and personal to each. While it's not a specific item on the list, they epitomize one other thing I am always very thankful for - a staff of freelancers with diverse interests, without whom I would have a ton of extra writing to do each morning, and a site more monolothic and narrowly tailored to only things I know.
Here are eleven things we feel that all nerdkind can be thankful for this year...More >>
Speaking as we were of Robert Rodriguez - it seems extremely hard for filmmakers today to emulate grindhouse movies properly. Not that almost every single one out there hasn't tried. All too often, things get way too tonally inconsistent, or involve conspicuous green-screening that no vintage low-budget film would have had.
The folks at Silvermania, however, have captured that '80s Troma shot-on-VHS vibe completely - and even nailed the bad acting without overplaying its badness. I watched a lot of Troma back then, and this nails it - though it is also a better movie in three minutes than 90% of the ones I used to see. Legalities almost certainly prevent it, but if these guys were to Kickstarter Paperboy 3: The Hard Way as a feature, I would support it.
See what you think...More >>
I think this guy, Chris Sanders, is kidding when he rates the ten sexiest Pokemon. I hope he is. But the damnedest thing is that I'm really not so sure, because he commits like a mofo to the topic.
Is it because he's a good actor, or that my standards for humanity have dropped in the past year? If not one of those two, I have to believe he really does want to Squirtle with his chinpoko, mon.
If the image above isn't enough for you, keep going for the video...More >>
The next best thing to making yourself a drink would have to be making a drink for Ron Burgundy...by tossing the crucial ice cubes into his glass - as he yells up to 300 new potential comedy catchphrases at you. It's Scotchy Scotch Toss, the game!
Do you have the motor skills of a very stupid baby? Can you miss the scorpion terrarium? More importantly, do you want to hear all the new one-liners Will Ferrell recorded just for the game? Sure you do. Keep going for the trailer, and be sure to follow Topless Robot on Twitter, as we just might be giving away a download code sometime very soon...More >>