Bizarro vs. Bane in a Never-Released DC Fighting Game for Xbox 360

Monday, January 26, 2015 at 8:00 am


We've heard a lot of wild rumors about upcoming DC movies, but I think it's pretty clear that one battle we won't be seeing onscreen is Bizarro vs. Bane. Bane's had two big-screen outings and been the butt of fanboy jokes both times, and Bizarro might require a fair bit of backstory first to get him right.

But where there's a will, there's a way, and this unfinished, previously unreleased footage of a Justice League game developed by Double Helix shows how the fight might go down. The game was originally developed to tie-in to the George Miller Justice League movie, but when that fell through the idea was to make it more comic-based. In the end, it just didn't happen.

And honestly, I feel no sense of loss about that. But I do want to know why Bizarro randomly turns into a woman for split-seconds during the fight.

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Bud Light's Pac-Man Superbowl Commercial...and Our Very Indirect Involvement

Friday, January 23, 2015 at 10:00 am


Last night on The Tonight Show, Bud Light's new Superbowl ad premiered, featuring a life-sized playable Pac-Man maze, and I'm sure you're probably wondering why a beer company known for ads targeted at jocks and/or featuring horses suddenly got so nerdy. You might have assumed a cheap cash-in.

You might not have assumed that a Topless Robot alumnus was vaguely involved. It's Chris Ward, a Pac-Man superfan who famously owned a custom Pac-Man arcade game as old as he is for years, and also wrote our Krampus article that gets crazy traffic every Christmas season. Chris works for the company that worked WITH the company who created the ad: BBDO out of New York City. A 33 year-old "Mantern" there, it was a stretch for him to find any peripheral attachment, but now that he has, we are damn sure going to stretch and stress our peripheral attachment to him.

So no, this isn't Bud Light co-opting nerds. This is nerds co-opting Bud Light. YES IT IS. Check out the actual ad below. And Chris, if you're reading this - which I'm sure you are because you clued me in on this to begin with - see if you can get them to approve a Fan Fiction Friday theme next year.

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The 14 Nerdy Things We Most Look Forward to in 2015

Thursday, January 22, 2015 at 4:00 am


2014 ended three weeks ago, but our wrap-ups of 2014's best and worst ended yesterday. It's fair to say we consumed a lot of entertainment, enjoyed many things and had almost as much fun vocally destroying the things we didn't like so much. And as I hope was evident, not every Topless Robot contributor had the same ideas about what those things were.

Which is why, as we look to the year ahead, I've gathered together as many of our regular contributors as possible for this list, in which they all describe what they're geeked out about for 2015. From board games to RPGs, action figures to adaptations - and in one case, even the rumors we long to hear - it's a varied, insightful and excitable sneak peek.

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Fake "Banned" Trailer for Kickstartering 1996-Style Shooter Is EXTREEEEME!

Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at 3:30 pm


Strafe bills itself as having "BLEEDING EDGE GRAPHICS AND GAMEPLAY, 1996©" with its polygonal visuals, non-stop shooting, ever more insane weapons and even an easter-egg Wolfenstein parody level. But the best part of all is the retro trailer - while absurd in content, it gets the visual style just right, and in a world of Robert Rodriguez fake-grindhouse movies that don't look like they ever got anywhere near film in a projector, the bad video rings true.

If only this were a retro console game - I'd give a lot to have a shooter that only uses ONE joystick and two strafe buttons like the old PS1 Doom.

Now - are you ready to get even more AWESOME and MEGA-CYBER EXREME than the boobs on a Liefeld Captain America? Read on...

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Terrifying CGI John Malkovich Stars in Call of Duty Zombie DLC

Wednesday, January 21, 2015 at 8:00 am


The new trailer has arrived for Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare's Exo Zombies mode, included in the "Havoc" DLC pack, which stars Malkovich, Bill Paxton and Rose McGowan, in both voice and creepy, doll-like avatars.

Never mind the undead - I'm going to be having nightmares about that digital Malkovich advancing on me, singing "Malkovich Malkovich, Malkovich Malkovich..."

Though his line at the end of this trailer is pretty cool too (and NSFW).

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Epic Custom Lego Minecraft Castle Is Big Enough for Your Cat to Live in

Friday, January 16, 2015 at 12:30 pm


From a builder with the clever name of ZaziNombies, who appears to have quite the passion for Minecraft, comes a castle made primarily with square block to maintain the aesthetic, and multiple rooms, characters, displays and even a light-up fireplace.

Best of all, though - it doubles as a pet residence.


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Unlicensed Frozen Game Has You Deliver Anna's Baby by Caesarean

Wednesday, January 14, 2015 at 12:00 pm


Do you wanna birth a baby?
Cut me, you've got a knife
You gotta freeze my belly first
This game's the worst
Its maker fails at life
You thought you were a gamer
This thing makes me wanna die
Really wanna birth a baby?
Slice me open for the baby!

Go away, game!

h/t The Mary Sue

Metal Gear Solid Fan Film "Boxhound" Brings Snake to Life in Appropriately Goofy Fashion

Tuesday, January 13, 2015 at 10:15 am


I imagine the reason Hollywood hasn't gotten around to a Metal Gear Solid movie yet is that they can't quite get a handle on the tone. With its blend of suspense and occasional silliness, it's tonally better suited to a Hong Kong film, perhaps, or a Japanese director like Takashi Miike who checks his sense of reality at the door.

"Boxhound," a no-budget Australian short featuring Snake in peril, seems to get it in a way that more serious directors wouldn't understand. If the acting feels a little cardboard at times, well...that's the point, innit?

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Arrow Gets a Lego Game

Tuesday, January 13, 2015 at 8:44 am


This trailer trips me out. Remembering 1989 and how hardcore fans were about superheroes not being campy, the idea that the cast of a "serious" superhero show would simultaneously appear in their own parody videogame would have made heads explode. Nowadays, I'm just like, "Yay! Boxing-glove arrow!" That, and "Huh, Felicity's kinda hot even in Lego."

Lego Arrow is DLC for Lego Batman 3, and is available today.

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Friday Nerdy News Roundup and Weekend Open Thread

Friday, January 9, 2015 at 5:06 pm


Programming note: Monday morning's feature will be Sherilyn Connelly's coverage of Image Expo in San Francisco yesterday. And how is everyone liking our new, earlier publishing schedule?

Here are a few last things to start your weekend right:

-NECA reveals production art for their next Aliens Ripley action figure (above).

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