Archie Comics to Do Massive Sega vs. Capcom Crossover Event

Friday, February 27, 2015 at 6:30 am

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Oh, Archie Comics. Is there anything you can't do?

Given the crossovers with zombies and Predator, I fully expect 50 Shades of Archie and The Archie Human Centipede to be within the realm of possibility. But enough about my fanfic fantasies. I'm sure Sega vs. Capcom is one of yours. Mega Man, Street Fighter, Sonic, Golden Axe, Ghosts 'n Goblins, Panzer Dragoon, Skies of Arcadia and more will collide in a comic crossover that I want to say isn't an orgy [just kidding - I TOTALLY want to say it] - but given how no-holds-barred Archie comics have been lately, who knows?

h/t SlyDante777, who needs to get writing some themed erotica, stat.

DC Marvel vs Transformers Fan-Edited Trailer Is Awesome Blasphemy

Monday, February 23, 2015 at 2:54 pm

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Given the way most people feel about Marvel movies versus how they feel about Man of Steel and Bayformers, a mash-up flick probably doesn't top anybody's wishlist. But if it did, I'd want it to look something like this. "Alex Luthor," who brought us that outstanding fake Marvel vs. DC trailer this past December, has now gone and added Optimus, Megatron and the crew. If nothing else, it's an effective critique of how limited the environments for big action movies are, and how easy it is to match angles of projectiles being fired at things.

Though I love the way he throws in fan film and video-game footage super-quickly before you can really process what it is. If Mr. Luthor isn't a pro, as I suspected last time, somebody needs to hire him.

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The 7 Least Romantic Video Game Romances

Friday, February 13, 2015 at 5:00 am

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Video games and love have a long and often awkward history. There's the classic quarter-century courtship of Mario and Peach, and games like Mass Effect and Dragon Age have (generally) well-written romances. But then there are couples that make you cringe just thinking about their relationship, whether it's Tidus and Yuna from Final Fantasy X bonding by braying in each other's faces like angry sheep, or Sonic the Hedgehog falling for a human princess twice his height and zero times his species in the Game That Shall Not Be Named. It's hard to condense complex emotions and years spent together into a 30 hour game, so let's be generous and say that these next 7 titles... struggled.

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Law and Order: SVU's GamerGate Episode: I Don't Know Whether to Laugh or Cry

Thursday, February 12, 2015 at 8:00 am

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Firstly, to head off the most obvious rebuttal: the episode is clearly only going to focus on the potentially criminal aspects of the GamerGate issue, because Ubisoft sending crappy embargoed product to reviewers is not going to fall under the Special Victims Unit category. So let's not hear that argument again.

That said, when did Ice-T become the patron saint of explaining video game terminology to people? And couldn't they be more creative than naming the offending website "Redchan"? And what sexual assault victim is going to describe her attackers with the phrase "They leveled up"? Also, while I don't for a moment dismiss people's fear for their safety in real life, the terrorist gamer group depicted here seems way more organized and motivated than any asshole Internet commenters I've ever heard of. The showrunners should stick to stuff that isn't totally foreign to them - like, have an episode about an accused rapist named Phil Blozby. The movie Smiley was more accurate about 4chan, and it had a magic serial killer.

I'm SOOO glad America has now had such terms as FPS and RPG explained by Law and Order. And that Ice-T is the one guy who can tell the difference between games and reality - he really is an O.G. Behold, if you wish, a 9-minute montage of the best-worst parts of the episode.

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Here's the Hitman Reboot, Because Who Did That Hack Timothy Olyphant Think He Was Anyway?

Wednesday, February 11, 2015 at 12:21 pm

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I never saw the original nor cared to, but trading out the star of Justified for some guy we never heard of who isn't even especially physically imposing doesn't seem like the right move.

Nor does having his "badass cool guy" line in the trailer be a direct steal from Watchmen. Agent 47's a comic-book nerd now, I guess.

Some pretty pictures here, though. I don't think they'll save what already seems like a terrible script, but I can't say the slow-mo bullet stuff isn't fun.

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Anita Sarkeesian Is a Playable Character in Latest TowerFall Expansion

Tuesday, February 10, 2015 at 8:00 am

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TowerFall Tumblr/Tropes Vs Women

I really don't think it looks much like her, but the TowerFall Devlog says it is.

Anita's work has been an inspiration to the TowerFall team. Her "Tropes vs Women in Games" video series gave us a valuable new lens through which to assess our character designs. TowerFall is about bringing people together, so it's vitally important that the cast of playable characters makes everyone feel invited to join in. Simply put, this wouldn't have occurred to me if not for Anita, and feedback from players has reinforced how important it really is. We're very excited to immortalize Anita in a small way, as the alternate Last of the Order.
Yes, it's obviously a compliment, right?

Right?

TowerFall is an archery combat arena game[1] where players kill each other with arrows and head-stomps until only one player remains
I'm just saying, that seems like an odd "tribute" to pay somebody who's probably most known for receiving death threats over her video critiques of games. (Looks like she takes it as a compliment, though.)

Like, if anybody's thinking of paying tribute to me in an unauthorized My Little Pony porn game - please don't. I'm just putting that out there now.

h/t SlyDante777

6 Ways Netflix's Live-Action Legend of Zelda Series Could Be a Disaster

Tuesday, February 10, 2015 at 5:00 am

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via Pikawil

So in what kind of took the world by surprise, Netflix suddenly announced last week that they're working on a live-action Legend of Zelda series, an adaptation of one of gaming's biggest legends. Aside from the fact that Nintendo has had their troubles adapting to modern social media, Internet services, and the like in recent years, the idea of a live-action television series based on something as coveted by gamers and nerds as this raises more than a few flags, things that feel a bit iffy and ways that it could go wrong.

...Of course, there are also a number of ways this could turn out to be a good thing as well, but positivity hasn't been paying the bills around here recently, so we're going to go Lou Bloom on this mofo instead. So why be cautious about all of this? Well...

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Evolve Action Figures Revealed: Monster Is Cool, Humans Are Meh

Monday, February 9, 2015 at 3:30 pm

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Entertainment Earth

I never quite understand how Funko's legacy figures can be so varying in quality. They've done a Khal Drogo that looks like Jason Momoa just stepped off the screen, yet most of these humans look carved out of soap. I guess the Duck Dynasty dude has cool clothes, but the Quake-ish cyborg looks like bargain-bin fodder, and Black Judy Greer looks like she belongs in a Dr. Seuss movie.

Winged Woman looks like Brian Williams' daughter - the Peter Pan one who had some dude put his face in her butt on Girls. Maybe you can reenact that scene with these if you so choose. And while that is the monster's spiky tail between its legs, the photography is a little...shall we say...awkward.

Anyway, you can preorder them if you like. I probably won't.

Weekstarter: Oculus Rift Porn, Monstrous Births, Rhino vs. Buffalo and More

Monday, February 9, 2015 at 5:00 am

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Ancient sex trips for monsters, a temple to the "real" Thor, Oculus Rift porn and a few other stories you may have missed over the weekend are collected below for your enjoyment, compiled with an assist from Kyle LeClair.

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Netflix Is Working on Live-Action Legend of Zelda Series

Friday, February 6, 2015 at 1:44 pm

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dragaroo

No real details as yet, but the Wall Street Journal is generally pretty reliable about these things. The only indication of where their heads are at is this line:

As it seeks writers to work on the show, Netflix is describing it as "Game of Thrones" for a family audience
That seems a bit like pitching Mega Man and calling it "Terminator for kids" - really quite reductive and implying that the source material is somehow like a neutered version of something else. I don't for a moment think there would ever be a Zelda series in which we believe Link could die, or in which the ultimate outcome would be in doubt. And there's nothing wrong with that, but that ain't Game of Thrones.

On the other hand, I'm sure there's a significant audience out there that would like to see Link have sex with Dothraki.

via Uproxx