9 Memorable Things About Max Landis' 436-Page Super Mario World Script

Friday, October 24, 2014 at 6:00 am

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There are plenty of writers who will tell you that the only thing that separates the bad, the good, and the great are the amount of hours put in by the writer. Given his ratio of scripts written to scripts considered truly great, Max Landis is undoubtedly one of these writers. Say what you will about his persona or product, but Landis has an incredible tenacity; clocking in at nearly a hundred completed scripts is a surefire path to mastering the craft. And so arguably the most intriguing words in his recently revealed Mario manifesto are the first four pages, in which adult Max Landis reflects on teenage Max Landis's writing.


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7 Ways Alien: Isolation Helped Me Accept My Anxiety Disorder

Thursday, October 23, 2014 at 6:00 am

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The Creative Assembly

My name is Daniel, and I suffer from a mental disorder. Specifically, I have severe anxiety, which often manifests and renders me useless in social situations and leaves me afraid of everything up to and including my shadow. It's more than a little ironic, then, that I love horror in all of its mediums: film, literature, comics, take your pick. While I might avoid anything remotely tense in everyday life, I enjoy the primal thrill of being scared by a movie or book. Consider it a form of exposure therapy.

With Alien being my all-time favourite film, I was extremely pumped for Creative Assembly's video game sequel, Alien: Isolation. Though overly long and - I should impress this - ridiculously stressful, Isolation is by far one of the best games I've ever played. Not simply for its mechanics or extreme faithfulness to the source material, but for how it allowed me to better understand the disorder that has plagued me for most of my adult life.

If you'll bear with me, consider...


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Bad Geek Apparel of the Week: That Goddamn Owl From Candy Crush on a Miniskirt

Wednesday, October 22, 2014 at 11:30 am

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I play Candy Crush, like, a LOT. When one's day job involves figuring out how to place words in front of one another to form some kind of coherent thought (results may vary), I appreciate a game that requires no thinking whatsoever, and can be played while intoxicated. For those of you who don't play, Odus the owl comes from a series of sub-levels called Dreamland, in which, every time you make a mistake, Odus falls off his moon-shaped perch and you lose.

I don't dislike this skirt because I'm holding a grudge against Odus. Rather, I am suggesting that a character whose defining feature is falling off of a moon might not be super-appropriate adorning one's rear end. As in, I can already practically hear some bozo yell "Hey baby, I'd like to see Odus fall down off your full moon, in my Dreamland!" [Yes, I'm aware his perch is a crescent moon, but anyone hypothetically dumb enough to pitch that pick-up line might forget] Or, perhaps worse, "I can keep Odus up all night, because I'm good at keeping things up that long."

But yeah, I also fucking dislike Odus. Little bastard has kept me stuck on the same level for months.

The 14 Coolest Things from the My Little Pony: Equestria Girls - Rainbow Rocks DVD Commentary

Wednesday, October 22, 2014 at 6:00 am

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After brief and rather scattershot theatrical run in late September and early October, My Little Pony: Equestria Girls - Rainbow Rocks is being released in a DVD/Blu-ray combo from Shout! Factory, and for streaming on Amazon Instant and elsewhere. Taking place directly after the events of Friendship Is Magic's fourth season finale "Twilight's Kingdom" while also picking up the threads from the My Little Pony: Equestria Girls, it's terrific on its own, and even more importantly, the Shout! Factory discs have an entertaining and informative commentary track featuring key members of the production team. Here are some of the highlights of that commentary!

Spoilers abound, of course.


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"Dark Dungeons" Filmmaker Looking to Fund a Tournament for the World's Most Boring Videogame

Tuesday, October 21, 2014 at 1:00 pm

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Inspired by a Penn and Teller idea to create a video game that would teach real-world skills, Desert Bus is a never-released simulator that involves driving a bus across the desert for eight hours, in real time, with no obstacles. If you finish, you get one point.

JR Ralls, last seen adapting the Jack Chick pamphlet "Dark Dungeons" into a poker-faced short film, has made the game - and wants to produce a tournament that will truly test the world's best cyber-athletes, with a cash prize worthy of their time and sanity. It's basically the video game version of Hands on a Hard Body, as anyone who lasts the full eight hours has to start again until only one is left. Players will have to be at the venue live and in person, playing with no distractions, while Ralls entertains the audience separately with musical acts and other entertainers.

Sure, your money could probably be better spent than donating to this Kickstarter, but if you love absurd things done just for shits, this seems like a worthier cause than the potato salad guy.

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When the Next Mass-Shooting Happens, Hatred Is the Game That Will Be Blamed

Thursday, October 16, 2014 at 4:13 pm

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In reaction to the perception of political correctness taking over, Hatred is a game where your goal is to straight-up murder innocent civilians.

Destructive Creations is an experienced indie team that, in times where a lot of games are heading to be polite, colorful, politically correct and trying to be some kind of higher art, rather than just an entertainment, wanted to create something against trends. Something different, something that could give the player a pure gaming pleasure. This is how the idea of Hatred - the team's first game, was born.
I wasn't aware that the majority of big-ticket games aimed to somehow NOT deliver gaming pleasure, but if a few indie games that try to be different are so bothersome, I guess I'm glad the anger went into creativity rather than something else. Seems to me a bit like making an action movie because you're upset that foreign-language relationship dramas exist.

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The Evil Within Foe "The Keeper" Is Like Pyramid Head Meets Dr. Zoidberg

Thursday, October 16, 2014 at 12:00 pm

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"I am here to judge you, why not?"

Gamingheads' new $300, 15-inch statue looks like what might happen if our favorite futuristic crustacean were left too long in a Saw trap, with his mandibles growing out-of-control.

Practically, you'd think this supernatural villain from the new game The Evil Within would have a hard time following you, what with his head being a mass of tentacles crammed into a box and all. You'd also imagine that his bag o'nails would end up stabbing him more often than his enemies.

But somehow I'm betting he's a bit more lethal in the game, and probably screeches enough to distract you from his having no eyes.

In-Game Footage From Firefly Online Has You Walking in the Dark, Whedon-ishly

Thursday, October 16, 2014 at 10:00 am

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Okay, to be honest, I don't know how one would walk Whedon-ishly. But nothing much else happens in this video besides walking in the dark, so I had to describe it somehow.

Firefly Online is a multi-user strategic roleplaying game set in the universe of Joss Whedon's cult classic TV show - Firefly. Players take on the role of a ship captain as they hire a crew and seek out adventures, all the while trading with and competing against the millions of other players like themselves, doing whatever it takes to survive in the Verse. It is designed for both desktop and mobile OSes and will allow users to play the same character across devices.
Given their polar opposite stances on gaming controversies, it will be interesting to see if both Joss Whedon and Adam Baldwin join in the fun. In hindsight, I do wonder how the hell those two ever got along.

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Tags: Firefly

The 18 Strangest Versions of Dracula

Wednesday, October 15, 2014 at 6:00 am

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Could Bram Stoker ever have imagined, back in 1897, that the character he created would one day be used for everything from pornography to breakfast cereal? It's hard to imagine that even Bela Lugosi could have guessed that the accent he gave Dracula would still be in use, more than 80 years later, spoofed by George Hamilton, or teaching kids to count, or marketing everything from car insurance to debt-consolidation loans ("because debt sucks!") to throat lozenges. Thus Dracula Untold, the title of the Drac movie that opened this past weekend, seems almost impertinent. Can there be a variation on the Dracula tale left untold?

Here are 18 strong contenders for the most peculiar takes on Count Dracula in popular culture. Note: These aren't just vampires in the Dracula mode; all of them had, at minimum, to have either the title "Count" or the prefix "Drac-" or the suffix "-ula" somewhere in their name.


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Man Keeps Scaring Co-Worker by Yelling Random Street Fighter Sound Bites

Monday, October 13, 2014 at 1:00 pm

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It's entirely possible that the guy just has Tourette's and wants to document it with his camera. Either that or it's the most insanely specific-yet-lazy video prank ever. And yet it works because it freaks the other dude out every single time.

While for the prankster, it's probably just Tuesday.

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