Pierce Brosnan Plays Nintendo 64 GoldenEye, Dies Almost Immediately

Wednesday, August 20, 2014 at 10:00 am

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In fairness, Jimmy Fallon is an unexpected opponent - there's no way Brosnan, or anyone else, could have lost against Sean Bean. But given Mr. Brosnan's lack of skills, well, he's not coming out Onatopp, because, Mr. Bond, we expect you to die. Another day. Because you only live twice.

To be fair, Fallon should bring out Roger Moore and see if he does better. What's the worst that could happen - would the sky fall?

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AC/BC - The Assassin's Creed With Cavemen That Needs to Happen

Tuesday, August 19, 2014 at 2:30 pm

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Considering all the different eras and places Assassin's Creed has been to, why not the stone age? I for one would be very interested in wielding the "bonus DLC weapon" shown at the end.

Or just a Flintstones crossover where you get to assassinate Fred and Barney. I'd be down for that too. Just take a lesson unlearned from the other games, and make sure there are cavewomen too.

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17 Stories You May Have Missed: Chicken Gimp Suit, Lego Mario, Weaponized Horse Crap, More

Monday, August 18, 2014 at 6:00 am

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Hello Kitty in Space

SummerSlam happened this weekend (result: John Cena gets time off to make movies), as did my best friend's birthday, so it's a treat to catch up on things that happened elsewhere, about which I did not know. With the aid of Kyle LeClair, here are some reader-submitted stories we might not have caught otherwise.

This week's tipsters include: troi, Anyone00, jaganar, SlyDante777, Gallen_Dugall, Timely_Flower-Hermit, Dr.Gonzo82

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Mario World Theme, Now With Yoshi-Abuse Lyrics

Friday, August 15, 2014 at 4:00 pm

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Pete Holmes gave us one realistic take on Mario and Yoshi's relationship, indicating that an actual dinosaur would not be so friendly to the Italian plumber brothers.

Taking the alternate view, Fox ADHD suggests that Mario is the jerky one, and demonstrates this in song. Though considering the way they've drawn Mario, he looks like Family Guy's Stewie in disguise, and therefore it should be no surprise whatsoever that he's an evil jerk.

And yeah, "Yoshi Abuse" can totally be a euphemism for...uh...you know.

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Hideo Kojima, Guillermo del Toro and Norman Reedus! It's the Silent Hills Teaser

Wednesday, August 13, 2014 at 10:00 am

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Yeah, this is name-dropping - but I worked with Norman Reedus years ago on a movie, and it's cool to see him finally become a "name." The guy is as genuine as it comes, and is pretty much exactly the same in real life as he is on camera. I'd been a fan of his since seeing Floating, and I hope someday he remembers the crazy "Teeth Guy" he went to CineVegas with.

But whether or not I see him again, it looks like now I can be him...in the new Silent Hill game, with a plural title that suggests multiple realities. I'm not sure what to make of the text that precedes him, but I am intrigued, especially with Guillermo del Toro also on board. Maybe after this we can get a truly great Silent Hill movie, too - the original is still my favorite video game adaptation to screen.

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Robin Williams Will Live on...in World of Warcraft?

Tuesday, August 12, 2014 at 5:30 pm

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It certainly seems that way. Here's the petition.

And here's the response from Blizzard:

Could there be a better way to honor the man who was apparently an avid gamer in Azeroth?

Watch Kano Fight a Bee-Woman in New Mortal Kombat X Game Footage

Tuesday, August 12, 2014 at 4:00 pm

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You know...when we get to ten games, with more characters and different move sets, and each character now has three totally different selectable fighting styles, I have to ask: how does anybody remember all that?

I like Mortal Kombat, and I trust that if I pick this one up, some of the moves will be ones I remember. But I feel like memorizing every single one of them is like an old-age test - if you can't do it, you're past your prime. And I may be...but this still looks cool.

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Snake Is a Dick in a Box in New Metal Gear Solid V Gameplay

Tuesday, August 12, 2014 at 1:00 pm

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As Kyle LeClair (who tipped me off to this video) noted, "Bugs Bunny would be proud."

I can't wait for the outraged reactions. Seriously, if Konami is really unaware that Solid Snake posting photos of swimsuit models on the side of his cardboard box to distract enemies isn't just the teensiest bit problematic, they're in for a shock, methinks.

While I don't find it especially offensive, it is curiously cartoonish in a manner I never associated with Metal Gear Solid - and reminiscent of Cartman taunting Osama bin Laden. Check it out...

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Are You Ready for the Halo Channel?

Tuesday, August 12, 2014 at 11:30 am

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Color me a tad skeptical that there's enough material here to support a full channel - WWE is having subscription problems for its channel even with a programming base that predominantly dates back as far as 1985, with occasional moments going earlier than that. I dunno; if the entire G4 network couldn't survive, can something even more niche-y do so?

Then again, you probably won't have to pay individually for it if you already own an Xbox. Are you down for this?

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Proposed Resident Evil TV Prequel Series Could Be the Movie We All Wanted in the First Place

Thursday, August 7, 2014 at 5:30 pm

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I appreciate Paul W. S. Anderson's logic; really, I do. We've seen the story of the game play out already, so why not do something else that's in the same universe? Except that the result didn't really pan out for fans who wanted a movie that felt like the game...save Anderson, who wound up marrying Milla Jovovich out of the deal (a double-edged sword since he now has to cast her in everything, but my heart doesn't exactly bleed).

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