Are We All Ready for a Family Guy/Star Trek Crossover Game? No? Too Bad.

Friday, March 20, 2015 at 12:48 pm

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It's actually a limited-time game within the Quest for More Stuff app, and thankfully, it's The Next Generation, rather than anything to make Leonard Nimoy spin in his grave (which makes sense when you consider what pals Seth MacFarlane and Patrick Stewart obviously are). Still, as much as I enjoy both franchises sometimes, the synopsis made me a trifle ill, and not in the good Beastie Boys way:

Commander William Riker is on a mission to protect baby Stewie Griffin, whose future self will create technology that threatens the Borgs' existence. Riker also enlists family patriarch Peter Griffin to repair the Enterprise, save the crew, and protect the future of mankind.
At this point, wouldn't killing Peter Griffin's mother, Terminator-style, be the best way to save mankind a whole hell of a lot of trouble? Make that the crossover, and allow me to actually kill Peter when he's 12 and looks like adult Peter with an Edward Furlong haircut and stupid '90s references, and I might be sold. Tell you what, Seth, I'll even write you some dialogue:

"This is really bad, like the time he said he'd be back."
FLASHBACK: "I'll be back"
"Hey! You're back! Just like you said!"

Alas, this instead...

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"Streets of Cage," the Nicolas Cage Genesis Game That Never Existed (but Needs to)

Friday, March 20, 2015 at 10:00 am

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Hey, Sega had a video game version of Michael Jackson's Moonwalker - why not every recent Nicolas Cage movie in one game based entirely on Streets of Rage?

The impersonation could be a little better - but maybe it's a meta-riff on how half-assed Jean Claude Van-Damme's line-readings were for the Street Fighter: The Movie game.

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When Pac-Man Attacks...Adam Sandler! The Pixels Teaser Is Here

Tuesday, March 17, 2015 at 4:23 pm

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It seems to have been released with Portuguese subtitles first, but you'll get the general idea very quickly (Replaced now with the official US version). This could be the only good Adam Sandler/Kevin James team-up movie ever made.

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Nintendo Teams with DeNA for Big Move Into Casual Gaming

Tuesday, March 17, 2015 at 9:16 am

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Casey Fleser

You may know DeNA, if you know them at all, as the folks behind the G.I. Joe and Transformers mobile app games. You can now add Mario and every other Nintendo IP ever to that list, though this partnership is all about creating new games designed to be apps, and not simply ports of existing titles.

Silicon Era reports that Nintendo wishes to avoid the kinds of games that require you to purchase lots of in-game extras, and that "Nintendo will be handling the planning and design for their smartphone titles. Meanwhile, DeNA will handle server development, daily operations, and user analysis, since those are the company's strengths." However, there will be a new rewards program to replace Club Nintendo.

Considering that Tetris and Dr. Mario are in many ways the original casual games, I think this could play to Nintendo's strengths. They'd be crazy NOT to do a Mario running game, of course, since running and jumping are primary traits of his - but I think there's hope for some actual creativity here too.

h/t SlyDante777

7 Final Fantasy Secrets Hidden Within the Game Files

Tuesday, March 17, 2015 at 5:00 am

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Square Enix

It's been a rough few years for fans of the Final Fantasy series. Between the numerous poorly made cell phone titles, a new online game that was still in the alpha stage development when released, and a numbered entry that was announced in 2006 with a release date of "sometime this ice age," it should come as no surprise that Final Fantasy fans are still nostalgic for the days when the franchise was at its peak.

To this day, the old games in the series are still making money on services like the PlayStation Network and Steam. The reason Final Fantasy I has been re-released seventeen times, and why a port of the now eighteen year-old game Final Fantasy VII was part of last year's PlayStation Experience event is simple. Fans are filled with nostalgia because they just don't make Final Fantasy games like they used to. Which is why people are still exploring the data of these beloved titles, hoping to find more pieces of the games they love which have never been seen before.


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"Ooh...Ahhh..." That's How Lego Jeff Goldblum Starts in Jurassic World Game Trailer

Monday, March 16, 2015 at 8:30 am

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LEGOldblum is here, and nothing will ever be the same again. I think it's time to make some memes. Not just because you could...nay, in this case you definitely should. Chris Pratt's cool, but there's only one El Jefe of Jurassic Park.

Also: DINOSAURS IN BANANA HATS! And a Lego Richard Attenborough, who can presumably get your Lego Tony Stark figure to pretend to be Charlie Chaplin.

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Paula Deen Has a Mobile App Game for People Who Hate Themselves

Friday, March 13, 2015 at 2:31 pm

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Yikes. It looks like a typical color matching game, except I think we all know Ms. Deen isn't too fond of mixing up colors. So instead you match pieces of food. Presumably instead of a Sugar Crush, your goal is Artery Breakage.

Because I sat through the trailer, you get to as well. You will learn that Paula Deen in slo-mo is a thousand times scarier than her real-life blood-sugar levels.

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Superheroes Play Soccer With Gandalf, Mario, Hermione and More

Tuesday, March 10, 2015 at 12:30 pm

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What initially looks like just an awkward cosplay video gets more and more elaborate as the definition of "superhero" expands and everyone starts using their powers, from Iron Man to a Jedi warrior to Street Fighter's Ken and even Space Ghost.

You might say this video had quite the pitch. And plenty of balls. But did it meet the goal?

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The 5 Greatest Things We Experienced at PAX East 2015...and 3 Drawbacks

Monday, March 9, 2015 at 5:00 am

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E3 might be the holy grail of gaming conventions, but the PAX (short for Penny Arcade Expo) suite of conventions are definitely a solid runner-up. They're the grail blessed by one of Jesus' cooler, more laid-back cousins; the con that we unwashed masses actually have a chance at getting into. Not that our tickets came easy - pre-registration sold out within an hour of opening, and it was only through perseverance, luck, and a whole lot of stalking that my boyfriend and I managed two three-day passes for the event.

And so, we happily drove into the frozen depths of hell to experience for the first time one of gaming's most anticipated yearly events. We experienced some inconveniences - including, but not limited to, lacerating my hands on the demon ice that now rules the city of Boston, and nearly being run down in the streets within twenty-four hours of arrival - but overall, it was an incredible event, and worth my bloodloss.


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Weekend Open Thread: Huggable Venom Edition

Friday, March 6, 2015 at 4:42 pm

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Entertainment Earth

As always remember to be good to each other and HUGGS!

R.K. Stein is at PAX East for us and will be Tweeting pictures throughout the weekend, with a full recap Monday. And now, your Comment of the Week:

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Congratulations to another victor in the battle for invisible bragging rights!