8 Reasons Video Games Will Never Make Good Movies

Thursday, December 4, 2014 at 6:00 am


Here is a sad fact we all must face: There is a sixth Resident Evil film planned. It's intended to the the final film in the unloved-by-just-about-everyone franchise (the average Tomatometer approval rating on the existing five is 26%), but we, as audiences, have allowed this thing to continue. And here's the most chilling thing of all: The first Resident Evil film is considered one of the high watermarks when it comes to video-game-to-movie adaptations. Talking to peers, I have discovered that Resident Evil and Mortal Kombat are considered the best video game movies made to date. If those are the cinema classics of the genre, then perhaps the genre needs to, ahem, step up its game.

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7 Reasons Why the Feud Between "Casual" and "Hardcore" Gamers Is Literally Ridiculous

Wednesday, December 3, 2014 at 6:00 am

Image combines the work of 彭家杰 and Milad Mosapoor

For starters, a bit of definition is in order. When I say literally ridiculous, I'm going with the root of the word. Ridicule. A lot of people use the word ridiculous as a synonym for funny or absurd or bizarre. It's not. Ridiculous refers to something that is worthy of ridicule. Sure, ridicule can be funny, but it doesn't have to be funny. What it does need to be is cruel and merciless.

That's the approach I take to responding to comments on the subject of casual games and the people who play them. Computer makers ASUS recently embarrassed the hell out of themselves while trying to market their products by appealing to "hardcore" gamers and feeding into their completely unjustified feeling of superiority to "casual" gamers. Aside from inadvertently looking like sexist prats, they also fed into a false dichotomy that is not only less true than people tend to think, but is actively harmful to gaming as a whole. Here are some examples of why...

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Robotic Gaming Monthly - Press F to Decorate Tree

Tuesday, December 2, 2014 at 6:00 am


Hello, and welcome to another edition of Robotic Gaming Monthly, Topless Robot's monthly look at what the gaming world has to offer recently! First off, a shameless plug for our TR Holiday Gift Guide for gamers, which I honestly hope end up leading to one person receiving a nice gaming surprise. In here, though, we do have Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, Far Cry 4, and Overwatch to talk about, so yay!

Before we enter, though, I must mention something you won't be seeing inside: The Retro Gaming Mag Spotlight, which in an effort to streamline everything here has now been promoted to the role of a recurring Daily List, a la Sherilyn's Starlog lists. And considering that I originally pitched the Retro Gaming Mag Spotlight as a series of lists, I'm totally cool with this, so I hope the rest of you are too! Anyhow, on with the show!

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Julia Reviews a Mobile App: Weather Kitty

Monday, December 1, 2014 at 10:00 am


Never let it be said that we aren't willing to take creative risks. In what could be the first of many, Julia reviews an app that tells you the weather with cat pictures.

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Weekstarter: Lego Strippers, Vodka Turkey, 8-Bit Freddy vs. Jason and More

Monday, December 1, 2014 at 6:00 am


National holidays don't often yield a ton of news, but we have 14 fun fragments here for your amusement, compiled with the aid of Kyle LeClair.

This week's tipsters include Gallen_Dugall, SlyDante777, skrag2112 and troi.

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TR Holiday Gift Guide: Shopping for the Grown-Ass Toy Collector, Made Easier in 5 Steps

Wednesday, November 26, 2014 at 6:00 am


Buying toys as presents for a toy collector is hard. Believe me, I know, because I'm the recipient very often - and the truth is that unless the buyer is a fellow collector and we communicate often about what we like, it is tough to get me something I don't already have. (Admittedly, it was tougher when toys were cheaper.)

I don't know how many casual readers we have who might check in on this site just to get a sense of what toy li'l Gallen or Cousin Poe might like to find under his tree, but this list is in large part for them. Parents, friends, lovers, wealthy benefactors - if your knowledge of collectible toys falls somewhere between "fuck" and "all," yet you wish to please the plastic addict close to your heart...we have some tips.

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If Atari 2600 Pac-Man Played Like Today's Games...

Monday, November 24, 2014 at 12:00 pm


I honestly clicked on this video expecting a bunch of jokes about obesity, diabetes and political correctness. What I got was much, much better.

It even manages to make a Hitler reference that's actually funny. I'm not kidding.

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TR Holiday Gift Guide: 7 Types of Gamers and How to Shop for Them

Monday, November 24, 2014 at 10:00 am


Much like how David said it's hard to ask for RPG-related gifts this Christmas, I find myself saying the same thing for video game-related gifts...albeit for different reasons. The main two I can think of are that the most notable triple-A games we look forward to keep getting delayed until the following year (lookin' at you, Evolve), and it feels like we keep getting a smaller quantity of truly notable triple-A games each year. And it probably doesn't help that I've reached an age where I can pretty much just afford to purchase my own retail games instead of having to ask for them as gifts.

It probably doesn't help that there also seem to be way too many Scrooges in the gaming world these days, and by "Scrooges", I pretty much mean "Internet commenters". Everyone just seems so damn cynical when it comes to gaming these days, and not just because of recent events that shall go unnamed. No, everyone just seems more critical of modern gaming than ever, seeing the gaming world as being full of nothing but DLC, microtransactions, jerkhole players, overhyped titles, and a new gaming generation creating a new round of arguments from fanboys of all sides.

Poor, misguided folks. They miss the whole point.

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Weekstarter: Naked Hermaphrodite Pooh, Bloodsucking Games, Medieval Goats and More

Monday, November 24, 2014 at 6:00 am

"Momaw Lisa" by sonicsnout

It's a new week, and the shortest one of the year, full of gift guides and other content to get the holidays off to a good start. In fact, today we're even going to have a whopping TWO list features! I'd say that it's because you deserve second helpings at Thanksgiving, but we all know that in fact this is likely to be a slow news week, and therefore a good time to showcase feature articles and editorials.

Here's your first of said features - a collection of the best and brightest reader-submitted and Kyle LeClair-compiled news tips over the weekend, to start your Monday off right. This week's tipsters included sonicsnout, troi, Citrus_King, skrag2112, SlyDante777, Dr.Gonzo82, Gallen_Dugall, rkwsuperstar

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First Teaser for Telltale Games' Game of Thrones

Thursday, November 20, 2014 at 2:29 pm


They have the actual voice actors for the show - not terribly sure about those likenesses though! I was hoping maybe they'd go for a more comic-book look.

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