Fast Food Review: Little Caesars Pretzel Crust Pepperoni Pizza

By Luke Y. Thompson in Food & Drink
Wednesday, September 17, 2014 at 4:00 pm


Pretzel: 1. a crisp, dry biscuit, usually in the form of a knot or stick, salted on the outside.

2. a larger version of this, made of soft, chewy bread dough.

In other words, terms like "pretzel bun" and "pretzel crust" are utterly meaningless. It's just that "browned and salted" doesn't have the same hook. And in some cases, it's not even browned.

But let's back up...

I'm Surprised It Took This Long for Someone to Make Sailor Poon

By Luke Y. Thompson in Anime, Cartoons
Wednesday, September 17, 2014 at 2:30 pm


Wood Rocket need to pace themselves, or they're going to burn through every nerd porn parody idea super-quickly. In a new behind-the-scenes video from their upcoming take on Sailor Moon, we get to see adult actresses flubbing nerdy lines, Sailor Moon asking if there's cum in her nose, and the complicated logistics of how to film Sailor Mars getting a guy off.

It is, perhaps needless to say, entirely NSFW and not to be viewed by anyone under 18. But if I know my readership, you'll probably find it either pretty funny or childhood-ruining.

Video From Furry Migration, This Past Weekend's Furry Con in Minneapolis

By Luke Y. Thompson in Nerdery, Puppets
Wednesday, September 17, 2014 at 1:00 pm

Todd Wardrope/City Pages

One of the reasons Topless Robot exists is because it fills a niche not always covered by our various sister publications in the Voice Media chain. But sometimes, just sometimes, we like to think we've inspired them.

Not necessarily to be better people, mind you. Just inspired. And we couldn't be prouder of Tatiana Craine and Todd Wardrope over at our Minneapolis sibling-site City Pages - they covered the Furry Migration convention like champs. I never before realized that there were "spiritual aspects" to Furries.

Take a look...if you dare...

NERDRANTS: Julia Hates The Sims 4, and Here's Why...

By Luke Y. Thompson in Video Games
Wednesday, September 17, 2014 at 11:30 am


When a video game so utterly ruins your wife's day - what can you do but let her voice the scathing review that's bubbling under the surface? If you're a fan of The Sims games, whether it's to the degree she is or lesser, you might want to hear this.

Tags: EA, Nerdrants, Sims

EXCLUSIVE: A Chaotic Conversation With Terry Gilliam

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies
Wednesday, September 17, 2014 at 10:00 am


Terry Gilliam is a man often surrounded by chaos, from the zaniness of the other Monty Pythons he made a name for himself with, to the battle for control of Brazil and the string of bad luck that derailed his The Man Who Killed Don Quixote. So it shouldn't have come as a surprise when my interview with him ended up containing some odd mishaps, as my phone call crossed with another call and his publicist lost track of which interviewer was on the line.

In a normal interview, I'd tend to edit such glitches out of the final transcript, but this was no normal interview - Gilliam embraced the chaos of the moment, acknowledging the confusion and riffing on it to a point where our conversation would probably read very strangely without it. Ostensibly, we're talking about his latest film The Zero Theorem, with Christoph Waltz playing an ex-office drone working out of his home trying to make the universe's ultimate equation even out. Speaking as one who also works at home and rarely steps outside except for errands, I can report that in a metaphorical sense, the director absolutely nails the weirdness of fully interacting with the world while staying shut away from it at the same time.

New Comic Book Day: When the Futures End, We'll All Be Jerks

Wednesday, September 17, 2014 at 8:00 am

There are event books, and then there are books that are events. I don't know what the distinction is, but it seemed like a thing to write.

In this week's New Comic Book Day roundup, I have some words about (for, really) DC's latest, sprawling octopus of an event, Futures End, and the curious thematic direction the line seems to be headed as a whole.

Also, deep thoughts about Cyclops as Uncanny X-Men #26 hits shelves this week, along with some not-so-deep thoughts about IDW's phone book-sized collection of Transformers comics. Remender's Deadly Class is back in session for its second arc, and the Society of Super-Heroes enters The Multiversity.

10 Creepy Awesome Things We Saw at "Son of Monsterpalooza"

By Liz Ohanesian in Daily Lists, Merchandise
Wednesday, September 17, 2014 at 6:00 am

Liz Ohanesian
Masks by artist Casey Love, spotted at Son of Monsterpalooza.

At Son of Monsterpalooza, things got creepy in the best way possible. The convention, which took place in Burbank, California, last weekend, is dedicated to horror films. Tom Savini was there, so were Chiodo Bros, the folks behind the cult classic Killer Klowns from Outer Space. Booths spilled out from the exhibit hall and into the area that would normally be a lobby, almost all of them filled with spooky stuff, from horror flick memorabilia to Day of the Dead-inspired art to fantastic, handmade creatures.

I'm a sucker for anything creepy and found it difficult to get away from the booths. Numerous attempts to venture outside of the vending area failed when my head cocked to the side. OMG, look at that Bride of Frankenstein! Holy crap, that's the coolest alien I've seen! Dude, it's Annabelle! Spooky artists make my day and, hopefully, some of the finds will make yours too.

More Kenner-Style Alien Figures, Including Chestburster Kane

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies, Toys
Tuesday, September 16, 2014 at 5:58 pm


Some of these were already chase figures in the mystery egg packaging, but now you can own them carded and Kenner style. This series includes two figures I don't think Kenner would ever have made - Kane with the acid-bleeding facehugger raping his throat, and Kane with the baby chestburster emerging and making a bloody mess. Then you also get a metallic xenomorph, and Ripley in a white spacesuit (no Ripley in undies? I mean, if you're gonna go non-PG with the blood, why not?

Like most figures in this style, they're $9.99. Unlike most of the rest, they're based on actual Kenner sculpts...all except these versions of Kane, which are newly done.

You can even pretend one is a Spaceballs figure, if you like.

Topless Toy Chest: Masters of the Universe Classics Rio Blast

By Luke Y. Thompson in Toys
Tuesday, September 16, 2014 at 4:00 pm


Rio Blast was one of my favorite figures as a kid, and I think a lot of that had to do with anticipation. I first heard of the character in one of the Star comics, in which he was partnered with Snout Spout - something I of course took as absolute canon from then on, not realizing that the Star comics were mostly just gratuitous plugs for whatever the newest toys were. But point being, I found out about the figure's existence the summer he came out in the U.S. - and had to go back to Ireland before being able to buy him. As Ireland was at least a year behind in terms of what toys they got, that meant I had no chance at getting Rio till Christmas

A Look at the Children's Book the Satanic Temple Can Now Legally Hand out in Florida Schools

By Luke Y. Thompson in Artwork, Books, Cartoons, Miscellaneous
Tuesday, September 16, 2014 at 2:30 pm


Due to a recent lawsuit to allow equal access to all religions into the public schools of Orange County, Florida, the Satanic Temple will now be handing out The Satanic Children's Big Book of Activities, among other materials.

I wrote to the Temple's publicist and asked if we could have a look. We can indeed. After doing so, I'm convinced the devil may indeed have the best sense of humor...