If you don't know any actual fallen warriors to commemorate, there are some great ones in fiction. At least one of whom now has a toy.

Now, I'm turning this post over to regular commenter FakeAssName, who has a gift for fellow readers. It's up to him to deliver on it, but I'd bet he will.

Since I'm still riding the warm fuzzy from all the nice things you all said about my over sized Matrix redevelopment plan; I decided to hold my own give away! Memorial Day weekend here in USAlund, I figured what better way to celebrate than by giving away some good-old-fashioned Blood?

Ok, I'm actually talking about the PC Video Game's "Blood" & "Blood 2: The Chosen" ... a couple of games from back in Monolith's early days (they of now WB property, you probably have heard of their "F.E.A.R." games) wherein you play a homicidal, undead, demonic psychopath on a quest for vengeance against his own Evil cult after being betrayed by them. I will be giving out each game to two separate winners on Sunday, decisions will be C/O a random number generator.

and yes I am aware that the subject mater is somewhat inappropriate / sacrilegious for the event, but I'm a Vet myself, so stuff it; the right to sacrilege is part of the benefits package for living in the same pair of underwear for a week as you are forced to wander around death valley.

Editorial note: since he doesn't actually say how to enter - just express your interest below and we'll let him figure out the details - LYT

Please note that Memorial Day is a day off for me too, and minimal holiday posting will be in effect. I never lost a relative to war, but my paternal grandfather whom I never knew came back missing the use of one arm and half his sanity, and my late maternal grandfather was an RAF POW in Germany, who later re-met and forgave his captors.

My father-in-law to be, however, lost many, many comrades to Vietnam. I don't want to debate the politics of any given war on this site (in the end, they're all terrible in their way), but if you want to tell the tales of any you've lost to battle, by all means do so below. And know that anyone being a dick to you about it is subject to moderation.

It seems only fitting to follow a post on Christopher Lee with one about Peter Cushing. I have to think that if the Internet had existed in the '60s, it would have exploded with outrage over a couple of theatrical movies which, while charming today, ignored canon more than Michael Bay does by giving us "Dr. Who," a human scientist who invents a time machine (and whose actual surname is "Who"). The daleks were pretty much the same, except their exterminators spewed gas rather than lasers. And it was seeing one of these movies on TV that really got me into the series as a kid, so it worked as a gateway (also they were in color at a time when the show was still black and white). Still, any time you think what Moffat is doing is worth railing against, consider how far it veered before! (Trivia: Bernard Cribbins, a.k.a. Wilfred, appeared in the second film)

If you've never seen these movies, the first, Dr. Who and the Daleks, has now met its match in Rifftrax form.

For ten bucks, the sharpest sarcastic wits online will dissect it for you, thus correcting the balance that needed righting when nobody was able to do it in the day.

Happy holiday weekend, everyone.

h/t Gallen_Dugall

At 90 years old (91 this Monday), our favorite portrayer of characters named "Count D______" is still pretty much the exact opposite of all the guys 20 years his junior who are always asking those damn kids to turn down that racket. See, metal is the secret to eternal youth - how else to explain that Lemmy Kilmister still has a functioning liver, or how the still-working Slash looks the same age as he used to while semi-recluse Axl Rose gets bigger?

Even more metal? Lee's third album as hard rock hero is a concept piece about the emperor Charlemagne...from whom the original Hammer man claims direct lineage! Are you going to argue with him?

The featurette after the jump is nearly 9 minutes. But you'll thank yourself for putting them aside.

Stop me if you've heard this one. An aging rock frontman walks into a Japanese bath house (I think that's what it is, anyway), takes off all his clothes except a sumo diaper, then pulls out a gun...

There is no punchline. This is a short film that exists because David Lee Roth wrote and stars in it.

Can't wait for the American remake with Sammy Hagar, and the direct-to-DVD sequel with Gary Cherone.

Seriously, Roth's really hoping Tarantino sees this, right? Or is it a commercial for the oddly fetishized brand of strawberry milk at the end?

Watch after the jump and you decide.

Were the various patent rulings of the early aughts stating that Lego couldn't trademark the shape of its bricks a blessing, or a curse? On the one hand, competition in the marketplace theoretically makes for a better product. On the other, Lego was always doing just fine thank you, and none of its imitators has ever quite managed to be as reliable in construction, though they can all stab your bare feet with equal vigor.

You probably think I'm exaggerating. Ehh, you've seen worse, right? NECA's Die Hard figure wasn't great. Is this 8" figure so terrible? Like, it has a well and everything.

It costs seventy-five dollars. Also it's soft vinyl and has only two points of articulation. For that, I expect to at least be able to see the one creepy-as-fuck upside-down eyeball that's key to her dominating way more scary dreams than her U.S. counterpart Samara. Or to actually kill my enemies in seven days. (I suppose I could try to convince them to swallow her and they might choke...)

NECA actually sculpted a Samara figure years ago, but were never able to clear all the legal hurdles to releasing it. A prototype is on display in their studio and was recently caught on camera by Figures.com (warning: clicking over may make you weep for cool toy you will never have).

Is soft vinyl Sadako better than none at all? My hope here is that maybe the license is now loosening up and someone else can do something better with it.

Before I die...I want to see that thing.

Favs kinda has a thing for guys in hi-tech armor, doesn't he?

The game involves creating a character, interacting with other players in FPS scenarios, and a storyline about a fallen Earth-based intergalactic society that must be reclaimed.

The trailer, however, like trailers for so many games, is a tad more cryptic than that. It looks like Giancarlo Esposito is remembering the time he mixed up Halo and John Carter in his head. Not that there's anything wrong with that, as space Seinfeld might or might not say after riffing on the quality of shuttle-served peanuts for 30 minutes.

Watch it after the jump. No actual Seinfeld humor in it, I promise. Not that there's...okay I shut up now.

Irish makeup artist Julian Checkley may or may not be able to act - though he can most definitely gesture threateningly - but he wears that Sith Lord outfit like a nightmare come to life. Also, he built the entire get-up from scratch over six weeks. Yeah, the character is basically Vader without most of the helmet and sporting yellow and red "Sith eyes," and his name sounds awfully like some dude named "Gus" decided to call himself "Darth Maul" and screwed it up, but hey, Julian didn't create the guy - he just recreated him spectacularly.

Now witness the time-lapse of Julian transforming from civilian duds into a fully armed and operational battle Sith. It is your density.

The Dutch equivalent of "like molasses in January" is "als een slak op een teerton," or "like a snail on a tar-barrel." In As You Like It Shakespeare describes "...the whining schoolboy...Creeping like snail/Unwillingly to school." And of course, with the advent of email the conventional posting of letters became known as "snail mail."

All of which is to say that snails are slow, both proverbially and in fact. Thus the little creatures just aren't a natural fit with the hyperactive, quick-cut, short-attention-span idiom of contemporary pop culture.

Yet it's shaping up to be a higher-profile-than-average year for gastropods. The animated fantasy Epic, opening this weekend, features a comic-relief snail and a slug. And slated for July is Turbo, another animated feature, this one about a snail with racing ambitions. Then there's this distressing development.

Here are 13 other notable snails:

13. The Doorkeeper Snail in Pinocchio

"Snails are never in a hurry," says this domestic of the Blue Fairy in Collodi's classic children's novel. She makes an exception in Pinocchio's case: it only takes her nine hours, while he waits outside in the rain and cold, to come down four flights and let him into the house. When he asks for something to eat, it's only a few more hours before she returns with a tray for him.

Apparently she was too slow to make it into Disney's 1940 film version; however there's a charming statue of her in The Pinocchio Park (Parco di Pinocchio), a tourist attraction in Tuscany.

It's about damn time somebody figured out this was a good idea.

I'm fond of The Simpsons ride at Universal Hollywood, and the way the ride queue is structured like you're in the terribly run depths of Krustyland. But then outside they have "Moe's," and it's just a gift shop. Adding insult to injury, the "Duff" they serve inside is an energy drink, the makers of which can eat my shorts.

But an actual Moe's Tavern, with Duff Beer brewed exclusively for the park? Lard Lad donuts? Krusty Burger? Okay, yeah, admittedly, to properly duplicate the show, Krusty Burgers would have to be terrible. And there probably won't be Flaming Moes made with cough syrup, but Universal's flavorsmiths need to figure out some way to duplicate the infernally medicated beverage.

Other attractions will include a new Kang and Kodos ride and a Bumblebee Man taco stand. And the gift stores had best not run out of "Bort" license plates.

So, can we say "Best Idea Ever"? Or will a simple "Woohoo!" suffice?