GIVEAWAY: Star Wars T-Shirts From

By Luke Y. Thompson in Merchandise, Movies
Tuesday, July 28, 2015 at 2:30 pm


Episode I - The T-shirt menace.

Turmoil has engulfed the galactic closet. The status of which shirts best cover your torso is in dispute.

Hoping to defuse the situation, Topless Robot is sending you two T-shirts for being one of two winners in this giveaway. So how do you force-push the odds into your favor?

It's simple. Assume, for the sake of argument, that JJ Abrams indulges all his worst impulses and that The Force Awakens is terrible. In comments below, describe what you think the worst scene will be (and if you make a lens flare joke, it had better be a damn good one). Two winners get to pick two Star Wars shirts apiece from (each one must be valued at $25 or less; shirts can ship to US or Canada addresses only).

Now get creative! I'll close the contest at noon on Tuesday, Aug. 4th, 2015.

Our Readers' Best Breakup Stories: Which One Wins the Joe Dante Blu-ray and Poster?

By Luke Y. Thompson in Blu-ray
Tuesday, July 28, 2015 at 1:30 pm


To earn a copy of Joe Dante's Burying the Ex, I asked you all to tell me about your craziest exes and how you broke up with them. It didn't occur to me that our Facebook commenting system may have made some of you clam up so as not to be identifiable. However, we got a number of good stories nonetheless.

Why Hunt Rare Lions, When You Can Hang Battle Cat's Head on Your Trophy Wall?

By Luke Y. Thompson in Cartoons, Merchandise
Tuesday, July 28, 2015 at 12:32 pm


My social media feeds today are awash in mentions of some douchebag dentist from Minnesota who illegally hunted and killed a rare lion, then posted photos of himself with the corpse. If that's the sort of thing you're into, Super7 have presented an alternative solution here that's both nerdier and animal safe - though you may want to hide it from any cartoon princes with magic swords who may be in the area.

As seen at Super7's pop-up Comic-Con "Skeletor's Lair" store, this Battle Cat trophy head is 31 inches tall by 22 wide, and the mask is fully removable if you'd rather look like the guy who murdered Cringer instead. Only ten are made, and they run $8500, but compared to paying for a safari and probably facing a huge fine afterwards, that's a bargain. I've seen one of these in person and it is most impressive.

TR Review: Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation Doesn't Quite Have Cruise Pegged

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies
Tuesday, July 28, 2015 at 10:55 am


The official villain in Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation is a man named Solomon Lane, who heads up a secret shadow organization called the Syndicate, but the actual villain that Tom Cruise is looking to pummel into submission is the aging process. Cruise's Ethan Hunt can still do parkour and shimmy up a pole using nothing but ab crunches, yet his attempt to dye and wrestle his hair into Reaganesque submission is a greater battle than his fistfights with various villains, and he can't hide the old-man nose that's starting to get too big for his baby-face.

That's just the literal part of the equation. On a plot level, there's more.

Gender-Flipped Dragon Ball Characters Drawn as Erotic Novel Covers

By Luke Y. Thompson in Anime, Artwork, Cartoons
Tuesday, July 28, 2015 at 9:13 am


Well, what better way to follow up that sexy alien from below Dragon Ball! I mean, if all that spiky hair and spontaneous bursting release of energy wasn't sexy enough already. A Taiwanese artist named leoncool724 clearly felt it was insufficient, and has made Buu his Boo, among others (I'm guessing it's a he, but as it's all in Taiwanese that is not certain)...

The Perfect Toy for Your Friend Who Has Sex Fantasies About Aliens

By Luke Y. Thompson in Toys
Tuesday, July 28, 2015 at 8:00 am


Meet Hot Angel. The xenomorph with boobs. Or, if you prefer, a Witchblade wielder with an Aliens fetish. Either way, it's an articulated figure of a mostly naked anime woman who somehow crawled inside an alien shell and thought it was hot - and not the kind of "hot" that involves left-over acidic blood burning your flesh off. Or maybe this is what happens when Facehuggers impregnate body-pillows.

And this is officially licensed. Watch the video below for an English guy at Ani-Com and Games Hong Kong (ACGHK) 2015 rather flatly describing her without a single "huh-huh." He's, like, civilized.

Blu-ray Today: Miracle Mile, Cherry 2000 and Naked Bird Woman vs. Frankenstein

By Luke Y. Thompson in Blu-ray
Tuesday, July 28, 2015 at 6:30 am

Miracle Mile - Boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, girl and boy make a date, boy oversleeps and misses date, boy intercepts a phone call saying nuclear war has begun...boy needs to find girl again and possibly escape the city before everybody dies, if in fact the phone call is for real.

Full of specific locations to the eponymous midtown L.A. neighborhood, this is a cult classic from the late '80s starring Anthony Edwards and Mare Winningham, little-seen and (as I recall) indifferently reviewed at the time, but well-liked by most people who've come across it since on video or cable. There's a reason nuclear war films tend to do better on TV - nobody wants to pay good money for a movie with the inevitable downer of an ending such stories eventually have, and if viewers feel baited-and-switched, thinking they've come to see a romantic comedy (which this sort-of is too), they might rebel. Now, though, it's a period piece that still packs power but can be placed at more of a remove to be enjoyed for what it is.

Blu-ray features include two new commentaries, an Edwards-Winningham reunion featurette, an alternate ending, deleted scenes, outtakes, bloopers and a reunion of many of the movie's secondary characters, including Denise Crosby, Kurt Fuller and Brian Thompson. Highly recommended. In fact, since the last time I saw it was before living in L.A., I very much need to see it again myself.

12 Revelations From the Makers of Starchaser: The Legend of Orin in 3D

By Matthew Chernov in Blu-ray, Cartoons, Daily Lists, Movies
Tuesday, July 28, 2015 at 5:00 am

Movie Poster Shop

Ask most science-fiction fans to list their favorite genre movies of 1985 and they'll name Back to the Future, Brazil, Cocoon and Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. Ask me and you'll hear the same list, plus one extra title... Starchaser: The Legend of Orin. I first saw the film theatrically when it premiered on over a thousand screens in the fall of '85, and its cutting-edge mix of traditional and computer animation blew me away. Here was an original, independently produced space opera, filled with dazzling 3D imagery and an adult storyline! What a pity, then, that Starchaser never found an audience. As its 30th anniversary approaches, I spoke with the film's director/producer, Steven Hahn, and its screenwriter, Jeffrey Scott, about the challenges of bringing this groundbreaking 3D adventure to movie screens.

Top-Down Smackdown: Iron Sheik's Managers Are Trying Again, This Time With Virgil

By Luke Y. Thompson in TV
Monday, July 27, 2015 at 2:55 pm


Before we get fully into the topic at hand, I went to a WWE house show this past weekend for my birthday and thought there were a couple of details worth noting:

-Brad Maddox is back as a wrestler, teaming here with Adam Rose. Maddox did all the talking, using a fitness gimmick and insisting on addressing the L.A. audience as "San Diego." The team lost to Damien Sandow and Curtis Axel, who've had to drop the fake Hogan/Savage gimmick and now wear generic black ring gear.

-New Day sang a hilariously off-key, cracked falsetto version of "We Are the Champions" to get heat. It worked. Cesaro (wrestling as a good guy) managed to spin Kofi around 43 times.

-Jimmy Uso wrestled solo, losing to Luke Harper.

-The John Cena/Kevin Owens hardcore match was the best Cena match I've seen in years. Owens went through two tables at one point.

-The superstar souvenir cup still depicts Roman Reigns with brown eyes.

Official Book Guide to Lego Minifigs Comes With Exclusive Zombie Skateboarder

By Luke Y. Thompson in Books, Toys, Zombies
Monday, July 27, 2015 at 2:04 pm


Brainssss, duuuude! A mash-up of two characters from the first collectible Minifig series, this li'l guy is aces at both gleaming the cube and eating your skin. He can also double as an Iggy Pop action figure, in case you need one.

But the skating dead isn't the only reason to pick up the upcoming I Love That Minifigure - the fact that it's a detailed visual guide to over 200 of them is the main one. Even though you know by now that everything is awesome, you need to know the specifics of exactly how awesome, and why, because anything less is a nerd fail. So feed your geek brain - that way it'll be nice and plump for Zombie Skater to enjoy later.