Agents of SHIELD SPOILER Thread - The Creel World

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, TV
Tuesday, September 30, 2014 at 5:00 pm


Your roommate isn't real? Too bad you can't talk to JARVIS - I bet he'd have some thoughts on the matter. Maybe even a vision for how you can get better.

Jeff Goldblum Wants to Seduce You Into Buying Lightbulbs

By Luke Y. Thompson in Miscellaneous, Tech
Tuesday, September 30, 2014 at 3:30 pm


The video description calls Mr. Goldblum "an over-the-top celebrity." Umm, yeah...

I've heard things I can't repeat, but suffice it to say this probably isn't anywhere near over the top when it comes to our pal Brundlefly. All GE really needs to tell me is they have a bulb I can throw in the trash without worrying about mercury poisoning, and I'm sold.

Is this one? I don't know. I was distracted by the chestiness. Which I guess is the point. Stupid sexy Goldblum.

Big-Budget Tetris Movie Will Have "Intergalactic Significance"

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies, Video Games
Tuesday, September 30, 2014 at 1:31 pm


This according to Larry Kasanoff, producer of the Mortal Kombat movie, who has announced that Tetris is his next big film. "This isn't a movie with a bunch of lines running around the page. We're not giving feet to the geometric shapes," says Kasanoff, who adds that they plan to spin off "location-based entertainment based on the epicness."

All I know is they need to pay Katy Perry the big bucks to do a cover of "You're so Square" as the theme song. And that whatever they do won't be as good as the fake trailer Machinima made two years ago (below).

What would you like to see in a Tetris movie? I'm thinking you replace the blocks with Human Centipedes being tossed down a chute by a mad Russian who plays the same folk songs on an endless loop. Or was that just my fever dream last night after too much grape vodka?

Liam Neeson Is The Fugitive in Trailer for Taken 3: Taken Yet Again

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies
Tuesday, September 30, 2014 at 12:33 pm


Just kidding. They wouldn't name the movie something that stupid.

It's actually called "Tak3n."

No, really.

Forest Whitaker is the Tommy Lee Jones stand-in, but I'm thinking he won't be adding another Oscar to the mantle.

Terrible Things: Meow Mix's Borderline-Beastiality Country Music Video

By Luke Y. Thompson in Music
Tuesday, September 30, 2014 at 11:30 am


You all know the Meow Mix jingle, right? "Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow MEOW meow meow meow." How can you not?

What does it make you think of?

Like a Good Neighbor, Totoro is There! (To Prop Your 2015 Calendar up)

By Luke Y. Thompson in Anime, Cartoons, Merchandise
Tuesday, September 30, 2014 at 10:00 am


When it comes to calendars, I'm like a lot of married guys: I buy my wife the one that depicts "puppies, and kitties, and dey fwiends." But if you have an anime-obsessed spouse who nonetheless likes things to be cute, this Totoro calendar and diorama can't really be beaten, and you can use it as a photo holder once 2015 has run its course. Granted, "Totoro, and susuwatari, and they are friends" doesn't quite have the same ring to it, but I think if you point out that Totoro is eating a tiny watermelon, the essential squee-ness will shine through.

It's only sold in Japan, but is available for preorder now at J-List for $48. Only so many can fit into their catbus, though, so if you want it, reserve quickly.

Blu-ray Today: Sherlock Holmes, Krull and a Defense of Trans4mers

By Luke Y. Thompson in Cartoons, Movies, TV, Toys
Tuesday, September 30, 2014 at 8:00 am

Sherlock Holmes: The Complete Series - Before RDJ, before Benny C, there was Jeremy Brett, and to a boy who loved the Sherlock Holmes of the books, he was it: as accurate a Holmes as you could ever want to see onscreen. Like Heath Ledger embodying the Joker, however, Brett was so determined to get into the head of Holmes that he may have driven himself to mental illness, or at least exacerbated a propensity that was already there. Ironically, I always thought his weight gain in the last few episodes was simply him getting older and portlier, as people do; in fact, it was the medications causing him to retain water.

The thing is, as our modern interpretation has shown, Holmes would be mentally ill by today's standards, and probably quite self-destructive in many ways. That's undoubtedly why Robert Downey Jr. was cast to play him in more recent years. I had the great fortune many years ago to see Tom Baker play Holmes on the Dublin stage - it was a more satirical take, with Baker playing both Holmes and a surgically altered Moriarty, but even his spoof version was majorly bipolar.

It's hard to know if Brett could have gotten more help if he didn't insist on going so deeply method with Holmes, or if the role in fact sustained him through the craziness. We do know for certain he was damn great in it, but there'll always be a slight tinge of sadness there underlining it all.

4 Reasons We Shouldn't (and 4 We Should) Get Excited About the Marvel/Jack Kirby Settlement

By Jim Dandeneau in Comics, Daily Lists
Tuesday, September 30, 2014 at 6:00 am

Photo by Alan Light

Friday afternoon is usually a great time to hide bad news. It's a common enough practice that it has its own name: the Friday News Dump. So you can imagine that there was some befuddlement when this was announced:
"Marvel and the family of Jack Kirby have amicably resolved their legal disputes, and are looking forward to advancing their shared goal of honoring Mr. Kirby's significant role in Marvel's history."
This was not bad news. This was the exact opposite of bad news. This was acknowledgement of the role of arguably the most important creator in comic book history by a notoriously litigious company on the eve of maybe the opening of the Supreme Court's phase in the litigation. This was incredible news. After 30 years of fighting with Marvel over King Kirby's contributions to their universe, FINALLY there was some kind of positive resolution.

Top-Down Smackdown: Monkeying Around

By Luke Y. Thompson in Merchandise, TV
Monday, September 29, 2014 at 6:00 pm


Since we seem to be between major storyline beats at the moment, this week's wrestling item is somewhat more frivolous. You know, like everyone else, I wish Vince McMahon would get over his apparent fear of having a black world champion. Then I look at the toys above, and I absolutely cringe to think of how wildly inappropriate the merchandise might get.

Speaking of inappropriate - does anybody else have questions about the tail placement in these photos? Are we SURE it's a tail?

Gotham SPOILER Thread - "Selina Kyle"

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, TV
Monday, September 29, 2014 at 5:00 pm


I have a suggestion. Or maybe, more of a question: is she gonna use that milk to make one hell of a cup of coffee?