Gotham SPOILER Thread: Guys & Dolls

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, TV
Monday, March 2, 2015 at 4:35 pm

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Guy's named Dulmacher and he becomes a doll maker. What are the odds?

If you ever have the suspicion you're living in a comic book, name your son Richman Happyguy, for goodness' sake.

Cabin in the Woods Director in Early Talks for Marvel/Sony Spider-Man Reboot

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, Movies
Monday, March 2, 2015 at 2:16 pm

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...giving us another excuse to use this image

Latino Review broke it first, then Drew Goddard's reps denied, then the Hollywood Reporter confirmed: Drew Goddard, previously set to direct the Sinister Six spinoff, is now the top choice for the new Spider-Man movie set in high school.

Lation Review also adds that Spider-Man will likely fight Iron Man in the movie (Robert Downey Jr. teased some big news a few days ago, so maybe this is it), there will be no retelling of the origin story, and Sony is still hoping to spin-off a Sinister Six out of it, though there's no need for them all to be tied to Oscorp now. Presumably, though, story points are subject to change at this stage.

I liked Cabin in the Woods a lot, and Goddard has been working on the Daredevil series, so presumably he impressed Marvel too. No word yet on whether it's Peter Parker for certain, though if I had to guess, I'd say that even if a nonwhite actor is cast, they'll still call him Peter Parker - there's too much name recognition not to. And a Downey cameo seems like the best way to reassure audiences who feel burned by the last couple of Spidey movies that this is in the right hands now.

Do you still care about a Spider-Man solo movie?

Seduced by Doctor Bigfoot Is Your Amazon.com Horror of the Day

By Luke Y. Thompson in Books
Monday, March 2, 2015 at 12:30 pm

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There's really nothing I can say about this book that the synopsis doesn't:

On the eve of the biggest case of his life, attorney Mark Tucker gets some devastating news. The opposition has brought in a new lawyer, the notorious Nart Bulgok, who has never lost a case and is the mythical creature, Bigfoot, as well as a renowned doctor.

After completely botching his opening statement, Mark retreats to a nearby bar to nurse his wounds. But when Nart shows up to offer an olive branch, things take a turn for the unexpected.

Suddenly, the two of them find themselves wrapped up in a sordid night of erotic, gay desire, one that will change the shape of their hearts, and buttholes, forever.

This erotic tale is 4,200 words of sizzling human on gay bigfoot action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, and doctor lawyer love.

So who'll be the first commenter to pick "Nart Bulgok" as a username?

h/t Witney Seibold.

Jared Leto Got His Joker Haircut Today [Pic]

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, Movies
Monday, March 2, 2015 at 11:33 am

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David Ayer

I've amped up the contrast a bit so you can get a sense of how he'll look with white skin in the Suicide Squad movie, assuming they go the white skin look (hey, Christopher Nolan basically didn't, so it's possible).

I guess now the question is will we get the first cinematic Joker since the '60s without some sort of surgically altered mouth? Or will they go full modern and rip off his face? (Highly unlikely as far as the latter, I'd bet - you don't cast Jared Leto and hide his pretty mug all movie.)

In Sharknado 3, Mark Cuban and Ann Coulter Run the Country

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies, TV
Monday, March 2, 2015 at 10:16 am

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"Don't mix nerd news with politics." It's a request many of you make, and I try to stand by it.

Then Sharknado 3 casts Ann Coulter as Vice President of the United States. I ask you - what's a guy supposed to do with that news?

Dallas Mavericks owner Cuban playing the president makes a sort of sense; after all, George W. Bush owned the Texas Rangers. But Coulter - well, if you ask some, her entire public persona is an act, so it makes sense that she'd try to monetize that part of it eventually. In a movie that will see shark-filled tornados attacking the entire eastern seaboard, she will presumably either blame the shark's victims for being eaten, or point out how they're somehow an inevitable result of the welfare state. Having her denying drastic climate shifts might be too on-the-nose, but Al Gore seems to only cameo in cartoons.

She joins Bo Derek, Chris Kirkpatrick, Chris Jericho and Jerry Springer in the announced cast to date.

Super Terrific Japanese Thing: Anime Hug Pillow Tells You How Much She Loves Your Boob-Grabbing

By Luke Y. Thompson in Anime, Puppets, Tech
Monday, March 2, 2015 at 8:00 am

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If you're already coming here, I assume you know about full-body pillows featuring anime characters and others that the purchaser presumably wants to imagine sleeping with.

Got that concept in your head? Okay, good, because the next step is here - one that verbally expresses pleasure when you fondle her breasts. Did I say "good"? I meant "Ewww."

There's a catch - be too rough with her and her love-meter will descend into hate. And presumably then be purchased only by horrible people who enjoy ignoring consent. Better with a pillow than a person, certainly, but still...if you favor interaction with different possible outcomes, there's this great game I can suggest to you. It's called "non-creepily relating to human beings." Difficulty level is super hard at times, I know, but the rewards you can earn are worth it.

The Walking Dead Recap and SPOILER Thread - Deanna of Troy?

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, TV
Monday, March 2, 2015 at 6:30 am

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So, we have a new non-transient location for a while, eh?

SPOILERS follow...

7 Nerd Dating Lessons From The Last Man on Earth

By Luke Y. Thompson in Daily Lists, TV
Monday, March 2, 2015 at 5:00 am

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I must confess, I did not expect the makers of The Lego Movie to get dark.

It doesn't surprise me that they created something with deeper meaning, because in general, they've always done that. But while I expected The Last Man on Earth, which debuted on Fox last night, to be satirical, I didn't expect it to hit me where it did. I may be married now, but I was the lone, undateable nerd for a good decade or so, and in concocting a post-apocalyptic scenario, Chris Miller and Phil Lord have perfectly encapsulated what it feels like to be there, to the point of giving me flashbacks. For when you feel undateable, you might as well be the last man on earth.

Weekend Open Thread - Now With Comment of the Week!

By Luke Y. Thompson in Miscellaneous, Nerdery
Friday, February 27, 2015 at 6:30 pm

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Since day one of my time here, reader Canadian.Scott has been asking for a "Comment of the Week" feature. I finally told him that if he wants to pick the contenders, I will showcase the winner on the open thread.

So this week's winner, responding to the Jem movie image, is...

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Congratulations! You have won a big, fat, invisible set of bragging rights for the next seven days!

Now talk about whatever you'd like, though I suggest that if you want to talk about Leonard Nimoy, it might be better placed in the Nimoy comment thread several posts below, where we've been collecting tributes in the comments.

Ooo...C'mon and Grab Your Friends for an Adventure Time Movie

By Luke Y. Thompson in Cartoons
Friday, February 27, 2015 at 4:20 pm

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'Bout time we had some good news today.

Come along with me, as two producers of The Lego Movie are making a big-screen Adventure Time cartoon. Jake the Dog and Finn the Human have faced many challenges, but the biggest yet may be sustaining an hour-and-a-half adventure.

There'll probably be time enough to fit in every major character, but who do you want to see the most?