TR Readers Create New Power Rangers; One Is a Winner

By Luke Y. Thompson in DVDs
Friday, August 22, 2014 at 5:35 pm

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To win a set of Power Rangers Megaforce DVDs, I asked you to create a new Power Ranger, insisting that artistic talent would not be the primary judging factor, but entertainment value would be. I think our runners up and winner prove this.

Super Terrific Japanese Thing: Pizza Hut Run by Cats

By Luke Y. Thompson in Food & Drink, Nerdery
Friday, August 22, 2014 at 4:06 pm

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Japan's on the same page as the U.S. when it comes to cats - they get that kitties in little clothes will get Internet attention, and fast. But I'm not sure they're quite on the same page as we are when it comes to branding.

In the latest move by Pizza Hut Japan, marketing is focusing on a "Pizza Cat" restaurant (alas, it doesn't really exist) wherein the feline employees will ignore your calls, fail to deliver your pizza, and screw up the company's finances by sitting on keyboards and cash registers. It's like they're saying that if your service is bad, blame it on the cute cats.

If Kevin Smith really wanted to make another movie about surly clerks, this one should have been it. Check out a sampling of the shorts below...

Funko's Got Your Dancing Baby Groot Toy Right Here

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, Movies, Toys
Friday, August 22, 2014 at 2:29 pm

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It doesn't actually dance; it just bobbles its cute li'l head. But that's how we all got started.

Aside from the accessory figure that comes with the insanely expensive Hot Toys Rocket & Groot, this is the only official version of Dancing Baby Groot in toy form so far. I feel pretty certain it won't be the last.

Per Marvel's Ryan Penagos, pricing and preorder information will be revealed Monday. I hear it's going to retail for $IAmGroot.99, and be available online at IAmGroot. Consider that just a rumor, though.

White People Don't Leave the House in New Amityville Because One Is Comatose

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies
Friday, August 22, 2014 at 1:00 pm

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Let's hope the audience won't be. With Red Foreman and Single White Female finding ways to answer the Eddie Murphy question, maybe there's hope. The trailer seems decent...though it has some creepy competition in Annabelle, which is that rare haunted house movie NOT produced by Jason Blum (both posted below)...

The Ice Bucket Challenge Halloween Costume Is Really Terrible

By Luke Y. Thompson in Nerdery
Friday, August 22, 2014 at 11:30 am

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I'm sure most of you know by now about the ice bucket challenge, in which people theoretically raise awareness and money for ALS (a.k.a. Lou Gehrig's disease) by dumping ice water over their heads. Because humans love to do silly things, it seems to be working and getting more ALS funding than ever before, so kudos on that.

You could mock the costume above - which is a thing that is for sale, for making even more light of something that's arguably making light of something else, but I'll leave that to pundits whose job it is to tackle life-threatening diseases. My objections are simpler. Firstly, what good is a costume where you have to hold something above your head all night? That's like the kind of torture they make prisoners do to stay awake.

Secondly, don't these Halloween costumers know that everything needs to be "sexy" nowadays? If you're going to go tacky, go all in and turn the bucket into a bra somehow.

first noticed by Johnathan Weeks, it seems

Nicolas Cage as an English-Accented Samurai...AND Hayden Christensen? It's Like You Read My Mind

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies
Friday, August 22, 2014 at 10:00 am

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I realize this is set in China, and that therefore "samurai" may not be the right word. But before you even think about criticizing my use of it, consider just exactly what sort of movie you're trying to apply a cultural-accuracy argument to.

To reiterate: Nicolas Cage. ENGLISH ACCENT. Looking like THAT.

It's like Hayden Christensen actually went to him and said, "Look, I'm tired of everyone saying I'm a terrible actor like it's a fact. Here are my action figure residuals; make me look good in this."

That'll do, Nic. That'll do.

I READ YOUR FANFIC! "The Quest for the Holey Grail" by KingAurthr2

By Luke Y. Thompson in Books, Cartoons, Movies, TV
Friday, August 22, 2014 at 8:00 am

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If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"

It finally happened.

I found the fanfic that broke me.

We're talking about a creation that severely impaired my own ability to read it.

So how bad could it be?

The 17 Coolest Things in Starlog #009: Star Wars Ascends, Star Trek Descends, and Shatner Absconds

By Sherilyn Connelly in Daily Lists, Movies, Nerdery, TV
Friday, August 22, 2014 at 6:00 am

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The ninth issue of Starlog hit the stands on September 1, 1977, the sixth of the eight-times-a-year issues. The focus is primarily on television, including the surely-going-to-happen new Star Trek series intended to replace the definitely-not-gonna-happen Star Trek feature film, but Star Wars continues to pull focus. And William Shatner tries to walk away from it all.

Smaug Alert - 22" Hobbit-Eating Dragon Figure Flies Home for Christmas

By Luke Y. Thompson in Books, Movies, Toys
Thursday, August 21, 2014 at 5:30 pm

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While there have been some issues with the action figure lines from The Hobbit movies, we can be relieved that the one figure fans are likely to want most is indeed going to be available, though he may prove almost as elusive as the Archenstone. A limited run of 3,000 individually numbered Smaug figures will be made available to those who preorder at WBshop.com, and given that he'll come with a mystery 1.5" bonus figure...I think we can safely say that IF said bonus figure is a Hobbit or dwarf, this Smaug will be in scale with the 3-3/4 inch figures released thus far. If not, you'll have to fake it.

Smaug has ten points of articulation, bendy wires in his wings, and multiple paint apps for a detailed color scheme. At $70 he's not super cheap, but for a figure that size in a limited run it's pretty fair. You could try to forge a black arrow and bring down a real one, but really, seventy bucks on your credit card is the safer option. If you can't manage that now, be aware that trying to find him on eBay later might just be..."the greatest adventure."

h/t Matthew Catania

That Ken Jeong-David Hasselhoff-Hulk Hogan Movie You Never Knew You Never Wanted? It's on.

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies
Thursday, August 21, 2014 at 4:00 pm

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Say, what could be better than a movie in which Ken Jeong tries to win a celebrity death pool by killing David Hasselhoff, co-starring Hulk Hogan?

Well, how about that same movie, directed by Darren Grant? Let me explain: Darren Grant directed Diary of a Mad Black Woman, the only Tyler Perry's Madea movie not directed by Tyler Perry. The one that is actually worse than anything Tyler Perry did all by himself.

I would totally change my tune if they revealed that this is actually a big-screen Thunder in Paradise, the show in which Hogan managed to rip off both of Hasselhoff's most famous TV shows in one, and do so amazingly badly...