Now That's a Black Widow Action Figure! Play Arts Kai Meets Demand

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, Toys
Thursday, July 30, 2015 at 1:30 pm

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This may be a first - an anime-styled version of an American-created comic-book heroine who's less objectified than the original. Fully zipped up so as not to show cleavage, Natasha comes with more intricate battle armor, as is the norm for Play Arts Kai interpretations, and articulation that actually seems designed for action poses rather than erotic ones.

I don't know that the Thompson Twins haircut is an improvement, though. Unless it's designed to catch people off guard and not take her seriously.

Image via ToyArk

Gentle Giant's Holiday Exclusive Will Be Jumbo Vintage Salacious Crumb (in Xmas Gear)

By Luke Y. Thompson in Toys
Thursday, July 30, 2015 at 12:30 pm

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Though he looks and sounds more like the Grinch than Santa, Salacious Crumb is getting festive for Gentle Giant Premier Guild members. This blow-up of the vintage accessory figure that came with the very first Jabba toy now comes with a fabric holiday hat and scarf, as well as a toy bag containing packages and a severed Threepio head. So he's like Santa's elf AND Seven's John Doe in one.

He does have experience working for an obese taskmaster that goes "Ho ho ho" a lot. And pointy ears.

30 Years on, Troll to Get a Direct Sequel, in 3D Animation

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies
Thursday, July 30, 2015 at 11:30 am

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Most of my readers are probably more familiar with Troll 2, beloved as one of the best bad movies ever made and having nothing to do with the original Troll. In it, vegetarian goblins in the town of Nilbog turn humans into plants with contaminated cake before eating them.

The original Troll, however, featured a troll living in the basement of an apartment building, and a little person who longed to be reborn as an elf, or something like that. It wasn't particularly great, so why are they reviving it now?

Oh yeah. The main character had a name that would go on to become significant, and the sequel is shouting it out loud, metaphorically...

Walking Dead/Star Wars Writer Gary Whitta Pitches Star Trek Toilet Training Book Pooping Is Logical

By Luke Y. Thompson in Books
Thursday, July 30, 2015 at 10:27 am

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He's written Walking Dead video games, The Book of Eli, and the next Star Wars movie, Rogue One. But as a nerd parent, Gary Whitta wants his next project to be a book about Vulcans taking a dump.

Here's the problem. We can't get anyone to take this seriously. My agents have reached out to the people at Paramount and Bad Robot, who currently hold sway over anything Trek-related, and they apparently have no interest. Something about not wanting to associate their brand with poop? Whatever. I'm fairly confident that geeky parents of my generation would be all over a book like this. I can't imagine a better nerdy baby shower gift. It's intended to make potty-training - an often arduous and prolonged endeavor at the best of times - fun for both kids and their parents.
Could it just be that Vulcans don't use slang, and they'd say "defecation is logical"? Whatever. The book is written, but the licensing approval is the issue; as such, Whitta has issued a plea to people to reblog the idea and see what kind of support is out there for this idea.

He had me at Vulcans taking a dump

Least Successful Married...With Children Alumnus Claims a Revival Is Happening

By Luke Y. Thompson in TV
Thursday, July 30, 2015 at 9:33 am

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Katey Sagal went on to Sons of Anarchy and Futurama. Ed O'Neill is still on Modern Family. Christina Applegate currently stars in the Vacation re-quel.

And David Faustino? He's been producing rap albums, not unlike his character Bud Bundy might. But with shows like Full House making comebacks, he's caught the bug too, and appears to be going full-Richard Hatch.

"The whole cast, including Christina, is down to do little bits in it," Faustino said, adding, "The idea would be a pilot for a spinoff. That's all I can say right now. It involves me and few other people."
He said this at the premiere of Vacation - it honestly sounds to me like they're just being polite and humoring him.

The primary joke in Married...With Children was that a jock who peaked in high school went on to have an absolutely miserable family life, and was mainly happy making other people feel worse, in a sitcom that inverted the then-common happy-ever-after formula. Bud Bundy was a miserable failure from day one - seeing him still be one as an adult just doesn't have the same humor factor. And sitcoms have been deconstructed to death since Married was last on the air. Faustino is literally the only one who stands to benefit, which is why I think it will never happen.

Would you want it to?

Hear a Real, Live Parrot Sing The Lego Movie Theme Song

By Luke Y. Thompson in Live Performance, Movies, Toys
Thursday, July 30, 2015 at 8:00 am

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ToyWiz

The image above is for illustration only. This parrot is not deceased. This parrot is not an ex-parrot.

This parrot, however, DOES seem to have better taste in original songs than the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. You've never known how awesome life can be until you've heard a bird sing about how everything is.

Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Major Life Changes, and How to Talk to Nerds About Drugs

Thursday, July 30, 2015 at 6:30 am

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Got questions? Martha Boyd has all sorts of answers. A desert-dweller, self-proclaimed crazy cat lady, former LAPD officer and widow to a Green Beret, she's seen and heard things crazier than you've imagined. And is ready for whatever odd questions you have, so bring them on!

Here we are at the end of the month again already. August is upon us and kids will be going back to school in a few weeks. Now out here in CA, August and September are generally the hottest months in the year so I never understood why the school year was not adjusted as a lot of our classrooms don't have air conditioning. The school year seems to get longer and the kids get dumber, so I have not figured that one out yet. Ah, and thus we home-schooled. I don't think it is the teachers. I know lots of great teachers; I think is the lack of parent support at home. To my teacher friends, hope you all have a great year and get nice kids this school year.

7 Jurassic World Sequel Ideas I Just Pulled out of My Ass

By Luke Y. Thompson in Daily Lists, Movies
Thursday, July 30, 2015 at 5:00 am

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Okay, so we know there will be another Jurassic Park movie, directly sequelizing Jurassic World, and that both Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard will be returning. That's a no-brainer. But coming up with a surefire premise is more of a challenge.

See, the reason Jurassic World worked was because it showed us a version of the dinosaur park we hadn't seen before in the three previous movies - as a fully functioning tourist attraction we'd love to visit, until the monsters escape. You can't repeat the novelty of that, nor should you from a logical perspective, because why would anyone logically reopen that park again?

I can think of a few ideas. They may not all be winners.

The Next Grumpy Cat Is Here: Earl the Grumpy Pup

By Luke Y. Thompson in Miscellaneous
Wednesday, July 29, 2015 at 3:27 pm

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Since everyone is going to start merchandising the bejeezus out of this dog in about a week, we might as well get our meme in early. Oh shiz, that's a pun too, since his name is Earl. Fittingly, per the similarly named sitcom, he seems to have hit the Internet viral lottery and is giving back to those of us who seek content.

...owner Derek Bloomfield, 25, has decided to share some new pictures of his downcast dog to prove that Earl is definitely Grumpy Cat's new rival. Derek, from Iowa, USA, claims that, despite his sulky face, Earl is in fact super friendly to other humans and dogs. His expression is merely down to an underbite. Apart from his expression, he is just like any other dogs - enjoying eating snacks, sunbathing and chasing balls around the local park.
Huh huh. "Balls."

Now, which commenter will be the first to use him as an avatar?


Cinefix's "Sweded" Ant-Man Trailer Is Almost Too Good

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, Movies
Wednesday, July 29, 2015 at 12:03 pm

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When you're walking down the street, and you see a little ant, what'cha gonna do about Aaaaant-Man?

The whole point of Sweding - Michel Gondry's Be Kind Rewind fictional term for making homemade versions of actual movies - used to be, in part, how wonderfully cheap and cardboard-y they looked. This Ant-Man trailer one actually features costumes I'd call convention-ready. Now, I understand, Cinefix, that this feature is doing well so you probably gave it a bigger budget - but that could be counterproductive (see also Lucas, George).

The moment you start getting professional singers to do the "Dooo, dooo, dooo" on the soundtrack could be the moment I rebel. Thankfully we're not there yet.