3...2...1...Letdown!

Sorry, Europa Report, but you were trying so hard to make the science believable (and a geek friend of mine insists it still isn't, though it should be sufficient for most audience members), that you forgot to make the fiction any good. The ambitions behind this movie - to make a realistic sci-fi film - are noble, but the execution is terrible from a story perspective.

BigBadToyStore

In keeping with McFarlane's odd announcement strategy as of late, a press release with no pictures is issued, and then BigBadToyStore posts the vendor images anyway. Good going, Todd.

The good news is that it's a new sculpt, not like the awfully deformed mini-Daryl that already came out. The bad news is that Todd once again wants a contrarian scale for his figures that doesn't play well with anything else, so rather than go for the standard 8" or 12", he went for ten. Though it's possible 8" and 12" are licensed elsewhere.

This is being touted as the first in a new series; I'd have to imagine either Rick of Michonne would be next. Though an upscaled version of the Bicycle Girl Zombie would be cool.

Daryl can be preordered for the divine price of just under $33.

Greedo!

Entertainment Earth is gradually revealing images of all the reference materials used by Hasbro sculptures (including some I've never seen before), one day at a time. Because unlike the Special Edition Greedo, you don't want to jump the gun on this.

It is axiomatic that whenever a new technology is invented, one of the first adapters will be the porn industry. Sure, they got it wrong when they picked HD-DVD over Blu-ray, but generally speaking, if you can watch anything on it, somebody is quickly figuring out how to put sex on it.

It didn't take long for the Oculus Rift. The VR/motion capture headset that immerses you in the game may soon give a whole new meaning to "head" set with Wicked Paradise, a game described as the "world's first erotic virtual reality experience."

Actually, depending how you define virtual reality, it wouldn't remotely be the first. There have been porn DVDs that simulate sex POVs and have interactive controls, not to mention Japanese video games with penis-powered controllers and interactive sex with anime girls in pirate hats. It does feature mo-cap stripper models, though.

My big question is this - how bad will the hacks for this game be? You know it's only a matter of time before somebody tries to get into the programming and turn the strippers into Equestria Girls, or Misa Hayase, or Smurfette.

NSFW test footage after the jump (no sex in it, just digital nudity).

TheFoodJunk

Artificial watermelon flavor is arguably the third-greatest thing America has ever created, after the Bill of Rights and bacon condoms. Injecting it into an Oreo is the cookified equivalent of Steve Rogers getting the super-soldier serum.

All we need now is for Taco Bell to find a way to turn this into a meat-and-cheese delivery device, and the universe will collapse upon itself in a flavor explosion of artifice.

Source: Dinosaur Dracula via Fark.

Now that Disney owns Star Wars, I gotta think it takes serious balls to do something like this, but then, we are talking about a daredevil tradition. "Evel Fett" is a 12" vinyl toy costing $120 from Retro Outlaw Studios, who previously did a "Che-bacca" mash-up bust and a more official Clockwork Orange statue endorsed by Malcolm McDowell.

What if he doesn't survive...Mickey's lawyers? Well then, he'll be worth a lot to you; a favorite decoration, even. Get that cargo hold ready.

Awesome retro-style box art after the jump.

Please note: there will be SPOILERS in this review. Probably nothing a fan couldn't guess, but I have to touch on the ending a little bit just to encapsulate the general experience.

When the lights came up at the end of the world premiere of My Little Pony Equestria Girls, following a brief in-credits easter egg for fans, my screening companion (whom regular commenters will know as Kyle "SlyDante" LeClair) turned to me and said, "On behalf of all Friendship is Magic fans, I would like to apologize to you for the preceding movie" (this was what he meant by taking a bullet yesterday). Considering the zeal with which the little-girl audience responded to the film's musical numbers with well-prompted clapping led by festival volunteers, I suspect the official target audience won't mind too much. But when it comes to Bronies, the adult male fans of the cartoon who insist it's a well-written show...I predict there may be some gnashing of teeth. Whatever clever concepts the show may have - and I cannot claim to be especially familiar with it - the movie does not do very much with (there is a funny parody of political attack ads, but that's about it). And for a TV cartoon turned movie (think of how Simpsons did it, or Beavis and Butt-head), there was no extra expenditure to make things look better on the big screen. Given the relatively simple nature of the drawings, you could probably watch this on your phone and not lose much visual detail, if any. I wouldn't suggest paying to watch it, but if you held a gun to my head and told me I had to see it again, I'd say, "Sure, fine whatevs." It's far from the worst movie based on a TV cartoon I've ever seen. If you can really call it a movie at all.

Well, last time here on TR we covered Twelve Memorable Moments From E3 and highlighted a bunch of the show's biggest games (as we've also been doing this past week), but even then it still feels a little like scratching the surface...this was my first E3, and despite some hassles that caused me to miss some of the show and made me wish for the fiery deaths of some 7-Eleven employees (you know who you are), it was still an awe-inspiring display, and probably one of the biggest highlights of my life. Though yeah, it still would've been sweet to have the time to officially set up a Paras/Sly "Best Of" collaboration (it was like yin and yang, we could have been gods!!).

But yeah, consider this a "Part Two" if you want. One that covers some of the show's relatively lesser-known games, or just ones that haven't been talked about as much as the big guns, but deserve the same amount of attention. And boy, was there a lot to go through...you try and pack in as much as possible, but you can still be shocked sometimes at what you can miss. Hell, Sony's booth alone could've filled out the three days worth of gaming. So there are still quite a lot of gems to get through, so let's just get right to it...

10. Hohokum

Kicking off Sony's dominance of E3 and their recent desires to support indie games even more, we have Hohokum, and despite having a title that I am almost positive will be snickered at in several different ways, it made for quite the damn intriguing game indeed. Hohokum is one of those games billed as a bit more of an experience, where the goal is to relax and explore the various colorful abstract worlds the game presents you. They're full of whimsy and glorious bits of surreal-yet-calming nature...but that alone wouldn't be much of a game, so thankfully there's also a ton of puzzle solving to be had.

Every area has its own objectives, and your little rainbow snake creature (*snicker*) will be free to traverse every inch, encounter every adorable little being, and just have fun interacting with everything and figuring out what everything does and what to do with it. It's an adventure with an emphasis on exploration at your preferred place, and brings to mind other surreal PlayStation titles such as Flower, Patapon, LocoRoco and such, and if Hohokum is even half as fun as those, it's a clear winner all the way.

These are the last ones, though I may still have a few more items to write about.

Nobody Needs To Know Why You Started Wearing A Necktie™

This is genius. It is also, perhaps, disingenuous, but amusingly so.

Have you ever been parched while in a hurry to get to your next meeting and don't have time to grab a drink? With FlaskTie™ you can quench your thirst while on-the-go, arriving at your meeting hydrated and ready to nail that presentation and seal the deal.

Yes, that happens all the time. But if hydration is your goal, your other ad slogan wouldn't be...

Don't be the guy at the office with a cup of water.

Look at the image above. The unshaven dude who forgot to brush his hair is mocking the water-drinking dude. Yeah. I know that look.

Just own it. This is a product designed to hide booze in your tie. Less useful at the office, perhaps, than at an alcohol-free wedding reception. (Too bad I have to wear a tux - need a bow-tie version!)

Oh, okay, they get honest at the very end.

Simply fill the fat part of the tie with your favorite poison and when you want a sneaky drink you just take the slim end and suck from the nozzle inside the bottom.

Sucking from a nozzle = not sneaky at all. No way to be subtle about that.

Now to buy a matching suit. Anyone making SuitFlasks yet? Stark Enterprises, perhaps?

via Laughing Squid