I went looking for the waffle taco. I did not find it. But I did find something worth writing about.
And now, like every annoying independently made comedy movie ever, I shall metaphorically cut to black, and raise the title card that reads, "Seven days earlier..."
Cut to a scene of me checking email, because that's a fascinating visual in and of itself. Count the number in my inbox cluing me in to the fact that Taco Bell has been testing a taco that uses a waffle for a shell. Close in on my frantic, jerking hand movements as I...manipulate a mouse to find out the deal on Taco Bell's official site (you were expecting a more literal self-pleasuring, maybe? Nahh, not during work hours).
Remember Rob Liefeld's comic Brigade? I don't, particularly, but I guess it was a big deal at some point. He's started a crowd-funding campaign because - literally - he can't give them away now.
In a strange sort of logic that escapes me, he's asking you to give him money so he can give you a comic for free. I know the business of comic distribution is convoluted and corrupt, but isn't this just the most tortuous way possible to charge money for a comic like everyone else does?
Liefeld trying to raise funds for a movie, I would get - he keeps optioning stuff and then none of it ever gets made. If he could pull a Zach Braff and demonstrate fan interest, it might secure him a greenlight.
But this? Given the way people respond to his name, I actually have a better idea for fundraising: if he were to sit in a dunk tank at Comic-Con and charge people a buck, he'd get that $17,500 less than halfway through the show, easy.
After the jump, his pitch video which asks, "What would Badrock do?"More >>
This has apparently been one of their favorite things for a while now. It's not exactly "I Don't Know But I've Been Told," and you probably wouldn't want to call a bunch of armed Russians "nerds," but this solidifies a theory I've had for some time - SpongeBob is better with vodka, always.
h/t Edmund Graham
This visor thing is the Re-Timer, which supposedly mimics the positive effects of sunlight by, yes, shining green lights into your eyes. How does that work out, exactly? Well, I watched the video below and I'm still not sure.
It was invented by a guy named Leon Lack, so I think whatever else you can say about it, the device is definitely Lacking.
And at $273.90, I'd suggest anyone with odd sleep patterns just try warm milk and/or whiskey instead. That's cheaper still, right?
Not everyone was fond of the movie, but maybe you'd like it better Super Mario style?
I'm not kidding. In this 16-bit game that you can play online for free, you don't get to shoot bad guys or blow up stuff. You jump on their heads and collect coins. It's like how they turned Super Mario Brothers into a more typical action movie, but in reverse.
But you don't play as John McClane - you play as his kid. Which is like getting stuck as Luigi every time.
Also there's this fake Russian promo for the movie. As fake Russians go, this one's pretty decent.
Never have the lyrics, "I'll tell you something, I know what you're thinking" held less meaning. Because I never, ever saw this one coming. For one thing, Lynch's movies tend towards either very retro, classic tunes ("In Dreams") or cutting edge experimental stuff (Rammstein in Lost Highway). Duran Duran...is neither.
Not that I don't love me some double-D - "A View to a Kill" remains the Bond theme most favored by my aural senses. But that was them years ago - nowadays they're the guys known for a song aptly called "Ordinary World," and a hilariously whitebread cover of Grandmaster Melle Mel's "White Lines." They've become the kind of bland nostalgia that Lynch deftly undercut in Blue Velvet.
Which might make him the perfect fit after all. But..."American Express presents"? Never thought I'd see a corporate sponsor line up behind the maker of Eraserhead.
After the jump, a very different cinematic take on "A View to a Kill."More >>
The other day, when one of our lists went off-topic and devolved into politics (for which I apologize), a commenter suggested that it was impossible to take Al Franken seriously as a politician after watching Stuart Smalley. Likewise, I responded, many people thought the same about Ronald Reagan after they saw him costar with a chimpanzee.
I'm not sure either had as much of an uphill climb as the one Glen Jacobs may face.
Best known as Kane, Jacobs has been identified since 1997 with a persona who has been portrayed as a pyromaniac, necrophiliac kidnapper who'll gladly set people aflame on a whim, either by dousing them with gasoline or calling on his powers of pyrokinesis. Though recent storylines have mocked his dark persona by sticking him in anger management classes, the constant in his character has been psychosis.
But that's not the worst of it, politically. Jacobs has had other wrestling personas too, including one as an evil dentist named I. Yankem...
...oh yeah, and the ripped-from-the-headlines, bedecked-in-bondage-gear character called, um, UNABOMB.
Yes, this is the guy who's thinking about challenging Tennessee Senator Lamar Alexander in the next primary. Though Kane has authored political editorials in the past, this isn't quite like the case of Jesse Ventura, whose "telling it like it is" persona mirrored his campaign for office. Kane's slogan, if he ran in character, would be something like "Vote for me and I won't impregnate your girlfriend and set her on fire."
I imagine you all might be able to think of a better one. So what would you think Kane's political slogan should be - and if he ever needed a running mate, who'd be best suited?
To celebrate the release of The Great Gatsby, Slate posted this cute little Gatsby video game. While their game is tongue in cheek, classic literature is a surprisingly common source of inspiration for developers. Some of the literary games that have been produced over the years are classics in their own right, while others are... well, they tried. Check out one of the following the next time you want to add a touch of sophistication to your gaming session.
7. The Great Gatsby
Slate actually wasn't the first to make a game based on F. Scott Fitzgerald's classic American novel. In addition to the incredibly dull Classic Adventures: The Great Gatsby, which features all the raw thrills of poking around for hidden objects and practicing your typing, there's also a brilliant, NES-inspired platformer that's free to play online.
Players control Nick Carraway as he looks for Gatsby and tosses his hat to take out every waiter, partygoer and flapper in his way. It's a clever game with a catchy soundtrack, charming 8-bit graphics and hilarious references to the novel that have been adjusted for the strange world of video games.
The developer claims it's an obscure unreleased localization of a Japanese game, and while The Atlantic debunked that, the developer made some great NES style manual pages to support his lie, so let's pretend to believe. Keep it in mind the next time you're bored - it's a good way to kill 15 minutes even if you aren't a fan of the novel.More >>