Did you know St. Nicholas was the patron saint of pawnbrokers? You'd never know it by the way he lets stuff go for free.
Just in case anyone was wondering.
But I don't think they're dumb enough to make Mutt Williams and the Tantrum of Doom as their next film. And judging by the reactions to Harrison Ford's last outing, there's a good chance they could say screw it and reboot.
So what next? Will future incarnations of Indy feature the Disney castle dissolving into similarly shaped scenery? Will they keep Ford and continue the trend of making the movies reflect the decade in which they're set...and have Dr. Jones at a '60s beach party? Or how about standalone films - I think literally the only one I'd like to see is Mola Ram Rising, but if I have to put up with The Sallah Chronicles to get that, I will.
How about you?
You only get to put a totally made-up word like "Jedi" or "Smaug" in your title when you're pretty sure the audience is so guaranteed to show up that marketing to newcomers doesn't matter much. And that sums up the feel of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug in general - save for one early flashback (call it When Gandalf Met Thorin, and tell Bilbo he'll have what they're having) there is no hand-holding for the casual viewer when it comes to the quest for the Archenstone. Five movies in to Peter Jackson's Middle-earth, there's really no excuse for not having at least the vaguest sense of what's going on, even if the specifics of ancestral lines and blood feuds are both too complicated and too pointless to bother with.
[That's the back of the figure. The front is just a tad NSFW so I've hidden it lower down.]
Sometimes you get an announcement that just needs to be shown as-written.
Venezuelan artist Carlos Enriquez Gonzalez has personally fashioned this 7-inch tall rendition of one of his internationally recognized massive works. These "Lips Vagina Monster" sculptures are cast in high-quality 'optically clear' resin with a hand-applied, fade-resistant metallic pink spray to accentuate the form. Limited to an edition of 5 pieces worldwide.Okay, but...why?
We would greatly appreciate your support of his unique artwork by announcing the release of this edition, which will be made available to the general public through Clutter's Online Store on Monday, December 9th, 2013 at 12 Noon Eastern time.
Because you're having difficulty selling something called "Lips Vagina Monster"?
So we're getting this again?
The series will follow a critical moment from the original 1984 Terminator movie, taking it in a completely different direction that the film.
Okay, but you know that got canceled early last time, right?
Oh, but wait - this time they're trying to pull an Agents of SHIELD, and have it tie-in to the continuity of the movies that will be in theaters. Movies that we are apparently totally sure are going to do well enough to merit it, despite the fact that I have not yet heard from one person who wants this new Terminator trilogy reboot with old Arnold.
The Terminator TV series will be produced by Megan Ellison of Annapurna......who previously had a lot of credibility from making movies like Zero Dark Thirty. She may want to invest in a real Terminator, who, a few years from now, can come back in time and kill this decision.
Or, I dunno...anyone excited about this?
And here we get to my penance for the Jack in the Box Munchie Meals.
Well, last time we reviewed Denny's, which is everywhere, so this time, let's go in the other direction. Vegan fast food chain Veggie Grill is strictly a west coast thing, in California, Portland and Washington, probably because the idea of "vegan fast food" would be laughed out of town in the south and midwest. That's not because food without animal products can't be tasty - most Middle-East/Mediterranean places can disavow one of that notion very quickly - but vegans really seem to want to take away everything that's fun about eating for the rest of us. I don't just mean cheese; I'm also talking about how it's not enough to eat vegetables, but you have to eat them nearly raw to get all those good vitamins and fibers or whatever. And then there's the tendency to needlessly add dried fruit to things that don't need it.
Veggie Grill, though, is courting the mainstream, and invited me down to try some of their new winter menu items. How did I do? Would I order any again? Read onward...
Ever since William Shatner scream-paused his way through a dramatic cover of "Mr. Tambourine Man," it has been a Star Trek tradition to badly attempt what amounts to very expensive karaoke - or, if you're Leonard Nimoy, even compose your own ill-advised fan-tribute to nerdy fiction that you then try to melodically croak through.
Of course, no matter how "bad" the result is, it still ends up being amazing. So let us all welcome into the fold the latest Trek-based actor to give it a go - and one with a Bilbo Baggins connection, to boot. Here's Benedict Cumberbatch speak-singing the latest R. Kelly tune, because we needed that. Whether we knew it or not.
Ladies, fear not: while he does a believable job of reciting the song "Genius," I don't know that he could ever honestly make you believe he's "Trapped in the Closet."
If the reaction to Ben Affleck donning the Bat-suit in Batman vs. Superman made large segments of fandom apoplectic with rage, Warner Bros.' announcement Tuesday that Fast & the Furious 6 actress and former model Gal Gadot would be cast as Wonder Woman was met with the kind of charmingly dismissive and patronizing reactions actresses tend to be subjected to when Internet commentary and big-budget comic book properties collide.
We've collected some of the more... contentious assessments of Ms. Gadot's casting from around the web. What say you: do the teeming online masses have a point, or should they keep quiet until the first footage of Gadot gets some play?
A recently circulating story suggested that Michael Bay had said something to the effect of the next Transformers movie being more serious and less silly, implying he had taken to heart criticisms of the previous three and understood them. Apparently failing to understand that all of this actually constituted a form of semi-positive buzz, Bay has taken to his own website to deny it.
No I did not 'apologize' for any Transformers movies. I did not say I shot the last three movies "less cool" than the new fourth installment. I was talking specifically about camera style and tone, of the first movie compared to how I shot the new installment with a very big scale, cinematic style. I was very specific in saying the first Transformers was shot in a 'generic suburbia' area, not trying to be cool with any cinematic flashes. I wanted it to feel like this could happen in any backyard in the United States.
He did not go on to add, "Any backyard in the United States, that is, in which average teens look like supermodels, pet chihuahuas wear giant jewelry, and everyone behaves like a broad stereotype. That's what the suburbs are like, right? Because I can't see them from my penthouse so I really don't know."
He also mentions that you'll get your first look at Age of Extinction during the Superbowl.
You be the judge. He could just be messing with us.
UPDATE: Exhibitor Relations confirms it.
No stopping the X-Men franchise. Fox's X-MEN: APOCALYPSE will drop May 27, 2016.— Exhibitor Relations (@ERCboxoffice) December 5, 2013
Time to start spitballing who should play Apocalypse. Mo-cap Vin Diesel?