Trailer for Fox Digital's Parallels Looks Like a Fan-Made "Gritty Reboot" of Sliders

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies
Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 1:30 pm

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Remember Sliders, the show where Jerry O'Connell and pals would go to a new parallel Earth each week, and every major cast member ultimately got replaced? If I didn't know better, I'd think the trailer for the new movie Parallels was a gritty fan film version by Adi Shankar, who gave us that violent Power Rangers spoof a couple of days ago.

In fact, this is more intriguing - a low-budget sci-fi movie that centers around a building which exists at the nexus of every possible parallel Earth. It - the film, not the building - is going to be available on Netflix, Amazon and other VOD services starting Sunday.

Too bad there's no John Rhys-Davies type, but I'll make do.

The Wankband - New Device Uses Masturbation to Power Your Phone

By Luke Y. Thompson in Tech
Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 12:20 pm

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Ladies and gentlemen, behold possibly the most brilliant use of renewable energy ever. Just think of how much friction we all waste every day, that could be put to use powering the devices that allow us to find the material that causes us to generate the friction in the first place.

The Wankband, which resembles a fitness tracker, uses a small kinetic charger built into the band to generate and store electricity created by motion -- specifically, the motion that is usually done while watching porn. To encourage users to save energy by using their Wankbands, Pornhub is creating a "Wanking Warriors program" that offers special rewards.
There's a helpful (and surprisingly SFW) video that explains more...

Sometimes, You Want Your Baby to Just Look Like a Drunk Without Being One

By Luke Y. Thompson in Food & Drink
Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 11:30 am

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Fortunately for you, there's "Li'l Lager," a baby bottle that it makes it look like Junior's chugging down some brews when it's actually just milk. It's sort of an ironic reversal of the whole brown paper bag concept, though I'm not sure the makers had that kind of elaborate social satire in mind.

For just $12, here comes Honey Brew-Brew. And for their next trick, how about crayons that look like used heroin syringes? Or diapers colored to look like thongs?

h/t AJ Feuerman

A Clever, Single-Take Video on the Classical Origins of the Star Trek Theme

By Luke Y. Thompson in Music, TV
Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 10:30 am

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I learned something today.

This video, from CBC Music (Canada's NPR, according to the producer who sent it to me) could have just given a musical history lesson and left it at that, but it's also shot so seamlessly with host Tom Allen moving around, upstairs and down, that you totally forget his musicians would have to be scrambling behind the scenes to seamlessly appear in each new location.

So come for the secret origins of the Star Trek theme - and stay for the filmmaking.

UK KFC Has Coffee Cups Made of Cookies That Smell Like Grass

By Luke Y. Thompson in Food & Drink
Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 9:16 am

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KFC UK

I don't mean marijuana, by the way.

KFC has just unveiled the UK's first edible coffee cup. It's called the Scoff-ee cup (badum-tish).

The 'Scoff-­‐ee Cup' is made from biscuit, wrapped in sugar paper and lined with a layer of glorious white chocolate. It keeps the coffee hot and the cup crispy.

For those of you not fluent in English-English, allow me to translate: "biscuit" = "cookie" and "scoff" = "eat rapidly." And being made of cookies is not the weirdest thing here.
We've infused different cups with a variety of ambient aromas including Coconut Sun Cream, Freshly Cut Grass and Wild Flowers.
Coconut I get. But flowers and cut grass? Are you trying to induce hay fever in fans of coffee and cookies? Have you actually met people who tell you they wish to eat cut grass?

I mean, I like the smell of the ocean, but I sure as shit don't want my coffee tasting like it. Keep it simple. Like hot dog buns made of chicken.

h/t SlyDante777

Neill Blomkamp Implies He'll Ignore Alien 3 and 4. Here's Why He's Wrong.

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies
Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 8:00 am

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Sky Movies scored a bit of a sweet exclusive yesterday, getting Sigourney Weaver to say she was interested in doing Neill Blomkamp's Alien sequel, and getting Blomkamp to say his movie would be "literally the genetic sibling of Aliens" and that the order of the movies would be Alien, Aliens and then his one.

And just like that, I realize that he is absolutely the wrong guy to be doing this. Here's why:

Ask Luke's Mother-in-Law: Worst Oscars Ever

Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 6:30 am

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Luke's mother-in-law is former LAPD, a licensed property appraiser and a self-described crazy cat lady. None of which has prepared her for TR readers. All questions and answers are real.

Hi! Well, another week has passed. It was pretty boring on my end. The movie last week with the film fest was canceled because the projector broke, and it is to be rescheduled. No word as to when, but I'm keeping fingers crossed. Hopefully it will not be done to long. The rest of the week has been spent working. Such a thing, but I like to eat.

10 Non-Fantasy Films That You Should Turn Into D&D Adventures in Your Campaign.

By Christian Lindke in Daily Lists, Gaming, Movies
Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 5:00 am

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MW Kaluta

Every Dungeon Master has experienced that dread moment when the players are about to arrive, but you haven't had sufficient prep time to put together the adventure they'll be playing. Sometimes this is due to writer's block. Most gaming groups have the same person DM the majority of adventures, and coming up with stories week after week can be difficult. This is often where professionally published adventures come in very handy, but most groups have a "completist" player who has purchased and read every adventure. What is a Dungeon Master to do?


Arrow SPOILER Thread - Out for Justice

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, TV
Wednesday, February 25, 2015 at 4:45 pm

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He's a popular recurring character. I think he'll survive.

Japanese Ad for Learning English Puts a Bald Black Man Inside a Kid's Mouth

By Luke Y. Thompson in Miscellaneous, TV
Wednesday, February 25, 2015 at 1:00 pm

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That actually sounds pretty bad from a certain point of view, but it's more literal than you think. And according to RocketNews24, it's even freaking people out in Japan, which is no mean feat.

Just before the ad comes to a close, the kid, trying to snap his parent out of his stupor, asks, "Are you OK, dad?" It's quite telling that he doesn't make any attempt to say yes.

Neither did these online commenters in Japan.

"Too startling, too creepy."
"Crazy."
"The heck kind of commercial did they make?"
"Stop, please. You're making my kids cry."

That last one lacks context, however - it could be that the kids are just crying because they don't want to have to learn another language with a new alphabet. I cry sometimes when I just have to learn a new html tag.