The 10 Star Wars Toys that Unintentionally Look Like Other Celebrities
Posted at 5:00 AM Feb 05, 2008
By Zach Oat
Nowadays, it seems like every celebrity under the sun has an action figure. Corey Feldman just got one, and Cary Elwes has one on the way, and if that isn’t a sign of the apocalypse, I don’t know what is. (Granted, it’s for the long overdue The Princess Bride, but still…Cary Elwes!) But what about the toys that unintentionally resemble celebrities? In its early years, the Star Wars line suffered from a lot of terrible likenesses, and while we couldn’t find any that looked like Cary Elwes (although there were too many who looked like Corey Feldman to count), we did find ten figures that were the spitting images of actors they were absolutely, positively not intended to resemble.
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10. Luke Skywalker / Brian Thompson
When Star Wars figures first came back in the 1990s, Kenner (for some bizarre reason) beefed up all of their characters to ridiculous proportions. So the scrawny farm boy played by Mark Hamill came out looking like the muscle-bound Alien Bounty Hunter from The X-Files, complete with overly defined facial muscles. Would Thompson have improved Star Wars? We doubt it. Would Mark Hamill have improved X-Files? Mark Hamill improves everything.
9. Han Solo / Josh Brolin
Apparently, Harrison Ford’s rugged good looks are hard to capture in three dimensions—that’s the only way to explain all the Han Solo and Indiana Jones figures that look like everybody in Hollywood except Ford. This particular figure is a little too long-faced for Han, but just right for Brolin, the star of No Country for Old Men. If only he were playing Indy in this year’s Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, rather than that Ford mummy.
8. Malakili / Denholm Elliott
There’s something about the sensitive eyes and tight mouth of Jabba the Hutt’s palace employee and rancor keeper Malakili that reminds us of Indiana Jones’ Marcus Brody, who got lost in his own museum once. The Nazis never would have caught him if he’d had a trap door and a Rancor monster.
7. Mon Mothma / Laura Bush
As the leader of the Rebellion, Mon Mothma was one of the first to recognize the sheer evil of Emperor Palpatine, as he subjugated outlying planets to his will and undermined the power of the Senate. Similarly, as the wife of President Bush, Laura oversaw the destruction of Alderaan and personally struck down four highly trained Jedi.
6. Slave Leia / Christian Bale
A mannish Princess Leia action figure? Say it ain’t so! To be fair, Carrie Fisher was not the daintiest of leading ladies, and Christian Bale is not the most rugged of leading men, so the fact that their action figures would kind of look alike isn’t so surprising. The fact that we’ve seen Bale naked and not Fisher? Not so much surprising as gravely disappointing.
5. 12-Inch Han Solo / Zach Braff
One year after our #10 figure was released, Hasbro again attempted to capture the majesty that is Harrison Ford in their 12-inch Collector’s Series. This time, the sculptor tried to give Ford a little more schnozz but overshot, landing squarely in Zach Braff territory. Sadly, Dr. Dorian has only had fantasies where he dressed as Luke Skywalker—otherwise, this could have been the first Scrubs figure. Is anyone excited by this? You know, besides Braff?
4. Dengar / Johnny Cash
When Cash did all of those drugs, was he mystically transported to another planet in the distant past, where he hunted men for sport and profit? Man, that would have made Walk the Line a lot more interesting, if fraught with legal complications. Still, you can’t deny the fact that the worn, lined face of the Man in Black is the spitting image of the Man in Bandages, who hunted Han Solo (unsuccessfully) for Darth Vader. Fun Fact: Boba Fett was the best man at both of their weddings!
3. General Rieekan / John Kerry
This Rebellion general commanded Echo Base on the remote ice planet Hoth. We’re not sure, but we think that’s where John Kerry is now.
2. Yak Face / Robert DeNiro
“Are you yakkin’ at me? I’m the only yak here.” DeNiro was already a major superstar when he was asked to play Saelt-Marae, a.k.a. Yak Face, in Return of the Jedi, but he owed Lucas a favor, and so he tried to bring a lot of the energy he brought to Travis Bickle to the performance. Namely, he asked Ree-Yees if he had fucked his wife, then savagely beat him to death.
1. Princess Leia / Virgil the Chimp
Word has spread far and wide of the legendary “Monkey-Faced Leia,” but few have noticed that she bears an uncanny resemblance to Project X star Willie, who played Virgil. Sadly, it was Willie’s only film role before he was sent to bomb the Soviet Union, but he’d be glad to know that he got a toy out of the deal—and with such a nice dress!
Comments
Why don't you have closeups of the doll heads? Kind of ruins the effect.
Posted 02/05/2008 at 11:37:26 AMwhy don't you try clicking on the photos?
Posted 02/05/2008 at 12:00:55 PMThe last picture of Princess Leia doll looks a lot like America Ferrera (aka Ugly Betty) and less like a chimp.
Posted 02/05/2008 at 12:12:48 PMAnonymous 1 / C3PO
Posted 02/05/2008 at 12:14:06 PMAnonymous 2 / R2-D2
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Yeah I heard Rieekan testified against the Rebels after the Empire was defeated.
Posted 02/05/2008 at 12:19:42 PMGeneral Rieekan / John Kerry is right on.
Posted 02/05/2008 at 12:30:57 PMDeNiro was already a major superstar when he was asked to play Saelt-Marae, a.k.a. Yak Face, in Return of the Jedi
I lol'd.
Posted 02/05/2008 at 12:31:37 PMThe old classic Han Solo is the spit of Cliff Richard (UKs answer to Elvis...
Cliff - http://www.tonythetoyman.com/starwars/figures/moc/pics/moc-hansolo-f.jpg
Han - http://991.com/newGallery/Cliff-Richard-Official-Calendar-395613a.jpg
Posted 02/05/2008 at 12:44:48 PMWhat, no Jar Jar Binks/Whoopie Golberg? Oh yeah, that's right, no one cared about JJB enough to make a toy figure out of him. Good riddance.
Posted 02/05/2008 at 03:07:10 PMPrincess Leia IS Anthony Kiedis
Posted 02/05/2008 at 03:58:00 PMhttp://www.foreignamericanpictures.com/leia-anthony.jpg
No dude. Malaki looks EXACTLY like Jim Broadbent.
Posted 02/05/2008 at 05:02:59 PMHow 'bout Malaki = Stephen Fry?
Posted 02/05/2008 at 06:40:56 PMThe funniest part of the whole post is the first two comments, although the buffed Luke Skywalker doll is a good second.
Posted 02/06/2008 at 05:07:57 AMMalakili looks more to me like R. Lee Ermey, the actor who played the drill instructor in Full Metal Jacket. "What is your major malfunction, Skywalker!"
Posted 02/06/2008 at 06:50:28 AM"The fact that we’ve seen Bale naked and not Fisher? Not so much surprising as gravely disappointing."
Umm ever heard of a little title called Playboy? Fisher had a nice spread at her finest right after ROTJ.
Posted 02/06/2008 at 07:02:47 AMYou should have close-ups of the dolls.
Posted 02/06/2008 at 08:44:05 AMGreat post!!! Just dugg it. Go there and push it some more >> http://www.digg.com/celebrity/10_Star_Wars_toys_that_unintentionally_look_like_celebrities
Posted 02/06/2008 at 09:26:00 AMThis made it on Fark’s main page, somehow, BTW when trying to compare two faces it is best to actually focus on the said faces
Posted 02/06/2008 at 09:59:20 AM#8 (Malakili) looks more like John Wayne to me
Posted 02/06/2008 at 10:00:12 AM"few have noticed that she bears an uncanny resemblance to Project X star Willie"
Uhh no one noticed because the doll looks nothing like the monkey, you FAIL
Posted 02/06/2008 at 10:01:33 AMI laughed so hard I nearly had coffee come out my nose here at the office.
Posted 02/06/2008 at 10:07:28 AMA+
the Leia/Bale comparison got me best.
Posted 02/06/2008 at 10:15:55 AMSTEVE-O said
"Umm ever heard of a little title called Playboy? Fisher had a nice spread at her finest right after ROTJ."
Fisher never did a spread in Playboy... she did a 20 questions interview. check it out July 1983, Vol. 30, Iss. 7, pg. 152-153+204-206
Posted 02/06/2008 at 10:26:35 AMAlso, the Galactic Heroes Han Solo (action figures for preschoolers) looks just like David Duchovny!
Posted 02/06/2008 at 11:20:29 AMThe FIRST 2 comments are the best part of the whole mess.
Posted 02/06/2008 at 12:46:33 PMThis is funny -- my son has an Anakin Skywalker action figure that looks nothing like Hayden Christensen, but looks a LOT like Andy Dick.
Posted 02/06/2008 at 12:46:42 PMAnonymous said:
why don't you try clicking on the photos?
Isn't seeing them side by side the whole point? Good idea, bad design. Wait, is it meta joke?!
Posted 02/06/2008 at 01:35:53 PMWeird. Not 30 minutes ago, I was telling a co-worker that the X-Wing pilot from my son's X-Wing Rogue Squadron comic pack looks like Brad Pitt. Then I saw this posting on USA Today's Pop Candy.
Posted 02/06/2008 at 03:10:49 PMThis was totally stupid, with the possible exception of the John Kerry and Christian Bales posts none looked close to their counterparts.
Posted 02/06/2008 at 09:54:44 PMThe only problem I got with all this is somebody has way to much time on their hands to figure all this out... Has anybody wondered why Denholm Elliot isn't called Elliot Denholm???
Posted 02/06/2008 at 10:48:33 PMThis was awesome. I loved them all, but I think my favourite was the Laura Bush one. And everyone who is complaining should stop. Because it is annoying. Just read the fun article and move on with your day.
Posted 02/06/2008 at 11:48:03 PMGreat post, I have also dugg this!
Posted 02/07/2008 at 12:09:53 AMBorn4thesurf
this was sooo funny.I remember about the first collection,there was a Leia from the Empire strikes back,with the Snow outfit that looked like Martha Plimpton...luna
Posted 02/07/2008 at 02:06:12 AMthis was sooo funny.I remember about the first collection,there was a Leia from the Empire strikes back,with the Snow outfit that looked like Martha Plimpton...luna
Posted 02/07/2008 at 02:06:37 AMMalakili = Ricky Gervais, hands down.
"rancor, killed? ..are you having a laugh?!?!"
Posted 02/07/2008 at 09:08:31 AMTo be fare to the toy sculpter, General Rieekan also looks alot like Bruce Boa, the actor who played him.
Posted 02/07/2008 at 10:43:44 AMThese were great.
Posted 02/07/2008 at 12:25:33 PMI'm sorry, but the fact that most of them do not resemble
Posted 02/07/2008 at 02:25:47 PMthe celebrities you claim they do, nor identify the chimp
as a celebrity, really makes this post quite lame.
You left out 1984 Luke Stormtrooper disguise = Steve Irwin
Posted 02/07/2008 at 08:06:28 PMYou left out POTJ's BoShek with Kevin Spacey's head, too.
Posted 02/08/2008 at 12:34:23 AMPersonally I think the recent Kir Kanos and Carnor Jax figures look like Ben Affleck and Tim Robbins, respectively.
Posted 02/08/2008 at 01:00:52 AMI had (and now my son has) a Lando that looks just like Omar Sharif from Lawrence of Arabia.
Posted 02/08/2008 at 05:04:02 AMThat was completely genius. My complements!
Posted 02/08/2008 at 12:55:48 PMwhat will happen in alt of productions of action figures (outside of todd's toys) is that they will use old molds and combine them with others to save on production as opposed to making good figures. larger developments that have been cashing in on these cows are the most frequent of abusers
Posted 02/08/2008 at 06:32:03 PMwhat will happen in alt of productions of action figures (outside of todd's toys) is that they will use old molds and combine them with others to save on production as opposed to making good figures. larger developments that have been cashing in on these cows are the most frequent of abusers
Posted 02/08/2008 at 06:33:29 PMGreat!
Not Star Wars though, I am doing something similar at my website.
Most written in Japanese but you can just look at them and enjoy.
Please visit (heavy, takes long to show whole)
http://web.mac.com/eimeit/Site/Casting_Boards/Casting_Boards.html
Posted 02/09/2008 at 09:08:07 AMtim said:
The last picture of Princess Leia doll looks a lot like America Ferrera (aka Ugly Betty) and less like a chimp.
America Ferrera looks like a chimp
The fact that we’ve seen Bale naked and not Fisher? Not so much surprising as gravely disappointing.
Have you seen her face lately?She makes ugly betty beautiful
Posted 02/10/2008 at 05:15:09 AMnone said: Have you seen her face lately?She makes ugly betty beautiful
Posted 02/11/2008 at 09:48:41 PM...thats not nice...i want to see what you look like at age 186. Also, I noticed that Dooku looks like Dracula from Hammer films and Tarkin looks like Van Helsing from...oddly enough...Hammer films???
HAHAHA, just got in to the office and somehow found this, made my morning, now stuff like this is what the internet was created for.
Come to think of it my Jabba the Hut figure circa 1976 looks like Dick Cheney
Posted 02/12/2008 at 06:40:55 AMwhat about darth vader and dick cheney
Posted 02/15/2008 at 09:23:11 AMThe best is what "James" linked to, Anthony Kiedis as Leia!
John Kerry was a good one, so was Johnny Cash (I also nominate Peter Boyle for Dengar).
Posted 02/18/2008 at 12:39:59 PMThe rest of them were kind of dumb, especially the chimp and DeNiro ones.
The dolls' faces should be enlarged!!
Posted 02/26/2008 at 11:57:00 AMThe dolls' faces should have been shown close up
Posted 02/26/2008 at 11:58:38 AMI don't know if you could really say that Rieekan unintentionally looks like Kerry, because the original actor looked almost exactly like him too.
Posted 03/03/2008 at 07:23:05 AMThat's just amazing.
Posted 03/14/2008 at 06:33:35 PMUgly Betty looks like a chimp, so there.
Posted 03/18/2008 at 11:49:55 AMI remember having what people refer to as the "Chimp-faced Leia". I always thought it looked like Mel Brooks in a leotard.
Posted 03/25/2008 at 10:45:00 PMNobody talks about how the first Hasbro Death Star Trooper looks just like Miguel Ferrer...
Posted 03/27/2008 at 05:58:25 PMOn a slightly related note, the packaging picture for the Tycho Celchu figure looks like they used Will Ferrel for the facial likeness.
Posted 03/28/2008 at 07:55:35 AMBox image:
http://www.rebelscum.com/photo.asp?image=/TAC/TAC44awingcardfr.jpg
Will Ferrel:
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2222496256/nm0002071
I was thinking that new A-wing pilot looks alot like Owen Wilson!
Posted 03/28/2008 at 08:16:19 AMheres a picture:
http://photos.sirstevesguide.com/showphoto.php?photo=25796
Posted 03/28/2008 at 08:20:35 AMhttp://www.rebelscum.com/photo.asp?image=/potf2/POTF2dstrooperfr2.jpg
http://www.nbc.com/Crossing_Jordan/images/bios/miguel_ferrer.jpg
Posted 03/28/2008 at 12:58:53 PMGeez, what lively posting on a cotton candy piece.
Posted 05/08/2008 at 02:53:06 PMQuit worrying, live your life.
And DeNiro/Yak Face made me choke!
Lovely.
this page said:
Posted 05/13/2008 at 11:29:35 AMthis could have been the first Scrubs figure. Is anyone excited by this? You know, besides Braff?
Unless you havent noticed scrubs is one of the funniest shows on tv and i wouldnt mind having a JD or Turk action figure.