By Rob Bricken in
Daily Lists, Miscellaneous
Wednesday, Aug. 6 2008 @ 5:04AM
5) The Sweatbox
Disney’s often mocked in ways both clever and lazy, but it’s rarely done with The Mouse’s own blessing. A documentary called The Sweatbox might come the closest. When Sting was tapped to write songs for an in-progress Disney film called Kingdom of the Sun, his wife, director Trudie Styler, came along to film a behind-the-scenes special about the movie. That was 1997. In the years that followed, the film’s story was shredded, director Roger Allers quit, Sting’s songs were dumped, and a fairly dark film about prince-and-pauper switcheroos and a sun-devouring demon became the goofy road movie we know as 2002’s The Emperor’s New Groove. And Styler captured all of it in The Sweatbox, itself named after the room where in-progress Disney films are reviewed and “re-tooled” by executives.
Where it is: In Disney’s vaults.
Why It’s Unreleased: The movie was screened on two separate occasions, but there’s no wider release in sight. For a movie that lays bare the meddling and creative squabbles behind a troubled Disney production, it’s not surprising that the most we’ll likely see of Styler’s footage is the polite, trimmed-down short on The Emperor’s New Groove DVD.
4) Mardock Scramble
The anime studio called Gonzo is known among fans for making big, glossy series that seldom end well, but even their staunchest critics must admit that Gonzo knows how to sell itself to a wide audience. It’s not a studio known for smaller, less commercial products, and that makes Mardock Scramble all the more interesting.
A six-part, direct-to-video series (or Original Video Animation, if you want to get all anime-fan about it) set to mark Gonzo’s 15th anniversary, Mardock Scramble was based on an award-winning novel by writer Tow Ubukata, also known for mixing gender-swapping with pre-Revolution France in Le Chevalier D’Eon. Mardock is one of his weirder creations, a tale of revenge set in a cocoon-like city, where a dead prostitute is resurrected by the authorities so she can hunt down the man who killed her. There’s a talking mouse named Oeuf Coque, an electricity-controlling heroine in love with her own murderer, and a lot of other disturbing stuff that probably scared Gonzo away from completing the project. Amid rumors of sponsors backing out, Mardock was canceled in 2006, and its director, Yasufumi Soejima, was later seen making a music video for Dream Theater.
Where it is: Sitting idle at Gonzo, we imagine.
Why It’s Unreleased: It’s unprofitable and probably unfinished, not that being incomplete has stopped other anime productions from coming out.
3) Bio Force Ape
Other consoles surpassed the Nintendo Entertainment System in technical abilities way back in 1986, but none of them will ever have the NES’s grip on an entire nation’s nostalgia. Perhaps that’s why unreleased NES games carry a touch more mystique than other titles, and why they inspire savage arguments over whether the games should be released to the public via emulation or remain in the hands of petty, ghoulish, greasy-fingered collectors. Not that we are biased against any party.
Seta’s Bio Force Ape, originally scheduled to come out in 1991, stands above other never-seen NES games for two reasons. One, it’s a side-scrolling action title full of the bizarre things that really only worked in old-school NES games: unexplained mine cart rides, giant apples, and a genetically engineer super-chimp who uses wrestling moves to rescue his kidnapped human family. Seta was barely a B-list game company, but Bio Force Ape might’ve charmed us regardless of its quality.
The second and more important reason: Bio Force Ape inspired the most amusing prank ever pulled among hardcore game collectors. It began in 2005, when a seemingly innocent fellow posted a thread on the Digital Press forums, including photos of a prototype Bio Force Ape cartridge that he had supposedly picked up at a swap meet for three dollars. Collectors made sneakily low offers, debates raged over who deserved the game, and the screenshots of the rare Bio Force Ape in action grew stranger and strange, resulting in this masterpiece of modern 8-bit art:
And from there, it only got better. If you have a half-hour to spare, read the whole thing here.
Where it is: Prototypes of the game were released to the media in 1991, so there’s a chance that someone has a copy.
Why It’s Unreleased: If someone has it, they ain’t saying.
2) The Other Side of the Wind
As much as we like to laugh at Orson Welles’ late-career roles, there’s always a touch of respect, and perhaps sadness in them all, even when Welles is screaming about frozen peas or grumbling out the lines of a planet-eating toy in Transformers: The Movie. After all, Welles was a legend of film, the theater, and radio-made mass hysteria before he was thirty, and his drift into obscurity after the 1950s makes it a shame that we should miss out on any of his later works.
Shot in the ’70s, The Other Side of the Wind starred John Huston as a fading director in search of a comeback, and it’s hard to avoid seeing some autobiographical touches in the story. Was it, like Fellini’s 8 ½, a movie about the struggle to make a movie? Well, we have no way of knowing, since the film was unfinished upon Welles’ death, and a completed version is now held up by legal troubles. Great film or not, The Other Side of the Wind deserves to be seen, both for the legacy it evokes and the story behind it, a story that involves everything from conventional production woes to the Iranian Revolution of 1979.
Where it is: In the hands of actor/writer/producer Peter Bogdanovich, who also appeared in the film.
Why It’s Unreleased: Bogdanovich isn’t done restoring it yet.
1) The Day the Clown Cried
Perhaps the most legendary of all unreleased films, Jerry Lewis’ The Day The Clown Cried has the sort of reputation that seems impossible for anything to fulfill. According to the few who’ve seen it, though, this comedy about a concentration camp clown is every bit as fascinatingly terrible as anyone could hope.
The movie began life as a somewhat serious screenplay about a failed circus clown imprisoned by the Nazis. Shunned by his fellow inmates, he sates his ego by entertaining the imprisoned Jewish children, and, at the film’s end, he’s coerced into leading his young audience into an Auschwitz gas chamber. Envisioning it as his leap from buffoonish comedy to scathing drama, Lewis directed and starred in the movie, seeing it through to rough-cut completion despite health problems, actor walkoffs, vanishing funds, and legal threats from the production company.
The movie’s never seen the light of day beyond some private screenings, due in part to financial disputes and lawsuits. Yet the real reason for its obscurity may lie with Lewis, who owns a VHS copy of the movie’s early cut and is reportedly embarrassed by it.
Where It Is: Locked in Lewis’ office and possibly the stockroom of some Swedish film company.
Why It’s Unreleased: Some things are best left as legends.
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46 comments
Comments
Jason said:
Spot on about Broken bing NIN best album. I came across that video completely accidently 4 or 5 years ago. I was searching for music videos online and founds a site that had it up so I downloaded it. I can't really say I've been the same since. Pretty messed up video.
cummins said:
I was hoping that "The Day the Clown Cried" would be on here, and there it was. This is a really fantastic list, well done.
Oddly enough, Harry Shearer is one of a select few who has actually seen the film. Derek Smalls gets around.
Schneid Remarks said:
I saw a clip earlier this week, I believe on Cinematical or /film for a Buffy the Vampire Slayer animated series that was presented to Fox and never greenlit. From the four minute clip, it seemed awesome, had the original voices of willow, Giles, and Xander, and deserves a spot on this list.
More proof that Fox hate happiness.
Though in all fairness, it was probably difficult to get an animated show about killing vampires for kids past the saturday-morning censors.
Cartoons In Bed said:
Excellent list. Pixies, NIN and The Day The Clown Cried. Wow.
Broken starred my friend and fellow CF-er Bob Flanagan. RIP.
Tissa Tack said:
Excellent list, one of your best yet!
Lupin VIII... Woo boy.... It's probably worth noting that actual production cells of this show actually pop up on E-bay from time to time.
I was pretty surprised to see 'The Day the Clown Cried' on here, but in a good way. I've always been morbidly curious to see this film, just for the bizarre factor.
...And for what it's worth, I would've probably given Mardock Scramble a chance... I can't believe this was too weird, but Strike Witches got the go ahead >.
talley said:
That digital press link isn't working.
Discount Knives said:
I'm with Schneid Remarks. I think a Buffy the vampire slayer cartoon would be awesome. It might be too violent for kids but there are a lot of cartoons today that are geared towards adults and this could be one of them.
Alex said:
hm, I would think QRIO is one of the most amazing unreleased things ever made
cdear said:
You forgot the grey album : jay z and beatles mixed by danger mouse
Mason Lang said:
I know Top Ten lists are purely subjective... but how could you leave out the GLOBAL FREQUENCY TV pilot?
Mondo said:
No Tattoo Assassins? The arcade game from 1994, written by Bob Gale (Back to the Future), created in like a week by pinball designers? It's too classic to pass up!
meestro said:
@cdear
Grey Album was released...hence it not being on the list for 'unreleased things'
3WOJ said:
No Nabokov's "The Original of Laura"?
Bruce Ivins said:
Mostly broken toys that deserve to be swept away. I thought the only hidden treasure was the Weasel game, good to lead with your strongest point, it made me wade thru the rest of the crap. Things for future posts:
Tron - the musical - little known production made by Disney at the same time as the original, same plot, but way more singing and dancing. Strobelight Stacatto is said to be the killer number, that made and destroyed the film. Said to be languishing in Disney vaults next to Walt's private cartoon porn. (the infamous mickey/minnie/goofie menage a trois)
MTV's the state - a chilling behind the scenes' look at the secret government that controls the media and the things they broadcast. Hosted by Ollie North and Kurt Loder, featuring scenes of Loder being strapped to a wall and forced to listen to polka music at loud volumes while strobe lights danced and Ollie drank himself silly with cheap scotch and bad cigars. Loder acquiesces to demands for more "boy bands" from Ollie and the demise of the once proud MTV brand was begun. In one scene they actually show the technicians loading the "brain" into the Britney SPears Bot and attempting to program a dance number. This was the mid 80's and the technology was a bit rustic. Britney dances thru a plaster board wall and nearly castrates Ollie North before she is shut down. Classic tv viewing said to be in the National Archives in the "release only when the "real Kennedy assasination" files get released" crate.
Buckaroo Bonzai in the 8th Dimension - Peter Weller's foray into scifi/comix/satire/drama breaks all genre and features a star studded cast, the highpoint is difficult to pick but when John Lithgow as the alien leader John Bigbooty gives an inspiring speach to all the aliens trying to fix their ship so that they might leave the planet from New Jersey, sings I feel so broke up I wanta go home. Equally enthralling is Penny Pretty (ellen barking) who attempts to blow her brains out while Weller sings a beautiful rendition of "I only have eyes for you" - the original print - over 12 hours in length not including 7 intermissions has been reported to be in the hands of the KGB, dropped by an irate James Cameron from a mini-sub onto the wreck of the Titanic and hidden in the same place as Jimmy Hoffa. Will we ever learn the truth?
Mick Frisco said:
Broken Movie? I must investigate
ScottyG said:
Although Duke Nukem Forever is apparently back in production, I remember when I first saw screens from the development around 2000, I was absolutely amazed.
JIm McDosh said:
I got a feeling these are just the tip of the ice berg.
JT
www.Ultimate-Anonymity.com
ur3minutesrup said:
what about g-n-r Chinese Democracy?
Rob said:
This list is incomplete without mentioning Juliana Hatfield's unreleased album God's Foot.
nana said:
Wow, Jerry Lewis was right six million times
spock959955 said:
Of course, there's also always Star Trek: Secret of Vulcan Fury.....
Aaron Soto said:
Man nice list but you should watch more movies and listen to more music outside of the 90's scene, there's a lot more of legendary unreleased STUFF, here's some in order of importance:
1-Alejandro Jodorowsky's "Dune" complete storyboards (Star Wars, Alien and Blade Runner were based on this) .
2-Walt Disney's "The Story Of Menstruation" cartoon (belive it or not).
3-Roger Corman's "Fantastic Four" adaptation.
4-Sam Raimi's Evil Dead prototype short-film "Within The Woods".
5-"Psycho" with the lost original footage.
6-"Love God" Frank Grow surreal film masterpiece.
7-"Back To The Future" starring Eric Stoltz, oh yeah, they shoot it without Michael J. Fox first!
8-Prince's "Crystal Ball" album (the basis for the infamous obscure Black Album).
9-"Chinese Democracy" legendary Guns n' Roses album.
10-"Arrebato" Spain first cult film, a mix of "Liquid sky" and "Videodrome" made in 1980!!!!!!!
NIN Broken movie it's not hard to find, you can get it at any Horror Convention or Comic Covention for a sheap price, i saw it at the San Francisco Amoeba for $3 dlls.
Aaron Soto said:
Man nice list but you should watch more movies and listen to more music outside of the 90's scene, there's a lot more of legendary unreleased STUFF, here's some in order of importance:
1-Alejandro Jodorowsky's "Dune" complete storyboards (Star Wars, Alien and Blade Runner were based on this) .
2-Walt Disney's "The Story Of Menstruation" cartoon (belive it or not).
3-Roger Corman's "Fantastic Four" adaptation.
4-Sam Raimi's Evil Dead prototype short-film "Within The Woods".
5-"Psycho" with the lost original footage.
6-"Love God" Frank Grow surreal film masterpiece.
7-"Back To The Future" starring Eric Stoltz, oh yeah, they shoot it without Michael J. Fox first!
8-Prince's "Crystal Ball" album (the basis for the infamous obscure Black Album).
9-"Chinese Democracy" legendary Guns n' Roses album.
10-"Arrebato" Spain first cult film, a mix of "Liquid sky" and "Videodrome" made in 1980!!!!!!!
11-John Carpenter "Halloween in space" script (that's right, Michael Myers goes to Mars)
NIN Broken movie it's not hard to find, you can get it at any Horror Convention or Comic Covention for a sheap price, i saw it at the San Francisco Amoeba for $3 dlls.
Try-Ace said:
Good call on Bounty Arms, I was huge into the import game scene of the early to mid 90's and I remember being very excited about this game, since it was from Data West, the makers of the quite excellent Rayxanber series of shooting games (which were mercilessly difficult, well the first two were in any case).
Fan Boy Farkle said:
The first Star Trek pilot "The Cage" which had Jeffrey Hunter as Capt Christopher Pike instead of William Shatner as Kirk, never aired on TV as a complete episode. Segments would later be incorporated in the two-part episode "Menagerie."
illumnat said:
One other unreleased movie...
"Frankenstein and the Wolfman" from ILM and Universal. Would have been ILM's first all digitally animated movie and would have been released around the time of the first Shrek movie if Universal hadn't screwed it up.
Hey It's Me said:
Chinese Democracy is not on here because it's not "finished". It's supposedly being mixed right now.
Jason Osbourne said:
What? No Chinese Democracy! Your list is incomplete.
koronis said:
Actually, there is a full DVD iso image of the broken movie floating around the net, and although quite graphic really fits the anger and energy of the album. Although broken was one of the better NIN albums, I still think The Downward Spiral was better. (but hey, thats just opinion, there isn't really a NIN album I don't like)
Mark B. said:
I'd completely blocked out "The Day the Clown Cried". When I was a boy the preacher at my church invited all the kids over for snow mobile riding and food and he showed that movie on one of those old reel projectors. I think I was seven years old. I watched about 6 minutes of it and said "what the hell is this crap?!?!"
I went back outside and tried to hotwire the snow mobile.
DoctorClaude said:
Where is Duke Nukem Forever? Clearly that was the epitome of awesome that never happened.
GalvaTRION said:
Kinda surprised that the Gen 13 PG13 animated movie didn't make it on this list. Mark Hamill was in it!
GalvaTRION said:
Also, I forgot to mention:
Rob Liefeld's Youngblood cartoon.
Unpwn said:
I know I'm late on this, but I checked out the thread for that Bio Force Ape...
Great Find!!
Tristriam said:
I bumped the Bio Force Ape thread for the hell of it. Let's watch insanity ensue...
SonicGT said:
I think you should make a list of the 10 best playable unreleased video games like Star Fox 2 for SNES, Half-Life Gold, and Propeller Arena for Dreamcast. While Half-Life Gold has a few issues, I suggest anyone who can go check 'em out.
Interceptor said:
Nightbreed: the director's cut. Assuming that Clive Barker isn't covering his ass, 20th century Fox has fully 20 minutes of additional footage smoldering in their bunker somewhere. Chances are nothing is gained in coherence, intelligence, or artistry in the extended cut, but that is never the point in these nerd grail quests. Of course, it all smacks of embarrassment and apology- rather than owning up to the platter of glorious, George Lucas on a bender with Ken Russell tripe, Barker wants to blindside his fans with what could have been. If the footage exists, I'm game.
Also, Messiah for the playstation was by all appearances in the proto-sandbox. Has it popped up online anywhere? There is no saving a world that forgets Messiah and keeps Thrill Kill flush in its peer to peer undeath.
RPG Maker! Every 12 year old god in training put their lot in with this shelved project before they discovered civilization 2.
easilydissolvedinwater said:
To those of you saying that Guns N' Roses' Chinese Democracy is missing from the list...
It was released late last year, and doesn't need to be on the list.
easilydissolvedinwater said:
To those of you saying that Guns N' Roses' Chinese Democracy is missing from the list...
It was released late last year, and doesn't need to be on the list.
Bill said:
I must respectfully disagree:
THESE are the most amazing images from Bio Force Ape
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c216/paulB812/de44798f.jpg
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c216/paulB812/b585dbeb.jpg
biggs33 said:
How about the Walt Disney/Salvador Dali collaboration "Destino"? Languishing in the vaults since the 1940's, though it has been screened at art shows on occasion (and was even inexplicably nominated for an academy award in 2003). I want this AND "Song of the South" on DVD!
Tristriam said:
If ANYONE sees this. Through a wild change in the plot line of Bio Force Ape. Paulb (the mastermind behind that whole thing) sent "Programming Ace" (a member of DV) the NES cart, a tub of butter, and a note saying "Check the EPROMS". It turned out to be a prototype of Bio fucking Force fucking Ape. It either wasn't a hoax, or it's a homebrew. Either way, it kicks ass. That is all.
Chad said:
I wanted to watch Mardock Scramble from the first pic and info of it I saw (a magazine, I think). I die a little inside each time I'm reminded it will never come to pass. I call this my "Fear Effect 3 response". The fact that Le Chevalier D'Eon was completed and ran while Mardock wasn't makes me positively sick.
Ashley said:
Great list, although the clip of Larry Norman has been removed from YouTube.
Robogeisha said:
What about the great XBox title BC? I bought an XBox in anticipation of that freakin game.
Getstefunky said:
Spielberg's "Night Skies". Technically, he used the material for E.T and Poltergeist, but man, it would've been awesome.
