The Batman 3 Rumors Continue to Get Stupider
Posted at 11:11 AM Aug 25, 2008
Despite the fact that Warner Bros. only last week offered Chris Nolan the job to direct Batman 3, and that Nolan is still thinking about it, the Batman 3 villain rumors are still flying. But while the rumors in America center around reasonable choices like Johnny Depp playing the Riddler or Philip Seymour Hoffman playing the Penguin, the British have just gone off the fucking deep end. First, they said that Angelina Jolie—an American rumor for the role of Catwoman—was consulting with porn star Tera Patrick on the role. They also interviewed Julie Newmar, who said "her sources" said Jolie was a heavy favorite, despite the fact that Newmar's sources are her cats Mr. Whiskers and Matthew M. Meowington. Now...now they're not even trying.
A studio executive said: "Cher is Nolan's first choice to play Catwoman. He wants to her to portray her like a vamp in her twilight years.
The 62-year-old singer and actress is reported to be in talks to play Catwoman opposite Christian Bale in the third Batman film from British director Christopher Nolan.
Thus reports the Telegraph, which also says Depp has been cast, and that the film will be titled The Caped Crusader. I'm trying to think of a stupider casting decision to report as fact, but with the possible of exception of Dustin Hoffman in full-Tootsie drag, I think Cher tops the list. Well done, Telegraph. We're all stupider for your efforts.
Comments
Worse choices for Catwoman:
Cloris Leachman
The chick who played "Jo" on the Facts Of Life
Tilda Swinton
Carrie Fisher
Tina Fey
Paris Hilton
That zombie chick who was on that show with Paris Hilton who is somehow related to Lionel Ritchie
Amy Winehouse
Sean Young
Posted 08/25/2008 at 08:29:42 AMI think the most shocking thing about this article is that Cher is only 62.
Posted 08/25/2008 at 08:42:40 AMHey, let's not be too hard on the Telegraph: if *I* were a studio exec, this is the bullshit *I'd* make up for them so I could have a laugh on the way home.
@B.E.: You know, now that you've suggested it, I can't help but be really curious about what kind of Catwoman Tilda Swinton would pull off O_o
Posted 08/25/2008 at 09:11:21 AM@gia: I mention it because I'm pretty sure someone or other suggested them in the same breath as Phillip Seymour Hoffman for Penguin. I think she'd make an interesting choice, in that she'd bring lots of little nuances and levels to the role. But I don't want to see her in the costume. Is that wrong?
Posted 08/25/2008 at 10:53:16 AMFor the love of all things holy, Guy Pearce needs to be cast as The Riddler. He's perfect, and he's worked with Nolan before. ARGHHHHHH.
Posted 08/25/2008 at 11:32:59 AMFrankly, I don't think Catwoman belongs in the Nolanverse. Or really any of the female villains. The introduction of female hero/villain characters in my eyes always just led to forced sexual tension that Batman has too many emotional problems to believably have with any of them.
Posted 08/25/2008 at 12:29:03 PM...but I guess for Cher I'll make an exception.
:p (Way to go Telegraph. XD)
Well, Cher was a top candidate for the Tim Burton original Batman (along with Sean Young), i don't get why this is stupid if she's better actress then Jolie, Berry etc.
Actually i think this is what this role needs, a mature deep actress, like Sean Young, Parker Posey or Miranda Richarson. If i have to go with a younger chick my pick will be Asia Argento, now she's a furoius cat!
Posted 08/25/2008 at 01:19:04 PMWell, Cher was a top candidate for the Tim Burton original Batman (along with Sean Young), i don't get why this is stupid if she's better actress then Jolie, Berry etc.
Actually i think this is what this role needs, a mature deep actress, like Sean Young, Parker Posey or Miranda Richarson. If i have to go with a younger chick my pick will be Asia Argento, now she's a furoius cat!
Posted 08/25/2008 at 01:20:42 PMCher as Catwoman is a far better choice than Depp is for Riddler, but I'd still rather see a lesser badguy that hasn't had bigscreen time. Gimme Clayface, or King Tut.
Posted 08/25/2008 at 02:52:35 PMI just love the fact that casting rumors for a movie's sequel that is still in theaters are all the rage now.
Posted 08/25/2008 at 03:39:12 PMBut I might as well join the bandwagon, but suggest Paul Giamatti as the Penguin over Hoffman. Gawd only like 4 years of hearing rumors like this fly around if this next movie even gets made.
Posted 08/25/2008 at 05:16:23 PMWell, now that the Cher story has broken, I feel safe in leaking the other casting decision...Brandon Lee as Nightwing, and an uncredited cameo by Orson Wells as HARDAC.
What's wrong with Cher as Catwoman? I mean, after 4 TRILLION dollars' worth of plastic surgery, her entire face is made out of catgut.
Giving Nolan's fondness for godawful freaky villian designs, don't be surprised if the next one turns out to be Killer Croc. Although if Nolan messes with Croc the way he messed with the Joker, it means we'll get a professional wrestler in a crocodile suit.
Posted 08/25/2008 at 05:34:35 PMI don't think they could add many more villains to the nolanverse and have them be as believable as Scarecrow or Joker or Two-Face. Catwoman is really the most down-to-earth as all of them. I'm thinking she would be a ruthless vigilante inspired by Batman. The rest of the movie would focus on the police hunting for Batman (and Gordon learning his identity) plus all of the mob stuff climaxing from the first two movies. Maybe I'd have Bane as a steroid-enhanced Hitman.
Posted 08/25/2008 at 08:17:17 PMI don't see how Catwoman is too wacky and zany for the Nolanverse. She's just a catburglar in a slinky leotard, nobody had an issue when Catherine Zeta Jones did it. If he can make Scarecrow work then Catwoman should a piece of cake. I think she'd be an ideal villain, considering the previous love interest got blown up, AFTER doing the dirty on him. He's on the run and wookin' pa nub. I'd be interested to see how Nolan deals with the ambivalent emotions for such an uncorruptable character as his Batman.
Posted 08/25/2008 at 09:41:28 PMAlso, Kathleen Turner for Catwoman.