It would suck to live in an anime world. Take that of Dragonball, for instance. Sure, you’d get to play with neat things like capsules and unrealistically busty Japanese girls, but you’d also have to deal with horrifying things like getting your shit ruined by bad-asses who roam around and, like flies to wanton boys, kill you for sport. Some of these guys are so strong, it’s unfair, even in the Darwinian worlds they live in. Such beasts don’t rely on spaceships or robot armor, largely because such weapons are so inferior to their freakishly developed with powers and strengths which leave other characters wearing massive sweat drops at all times. Behold the ten most ridiculously powerful characters to come out of their anime universes (and which have reached completion—if we included every Aizen for every unfinished Bleach, in full knowledge that Ichigo will eventually destroy him, this list would be endless).
10) Doramed the 3rd from Doraemon
It was never very fair that the coward Nobita had Doraemon and his magical pocket at his disposal despite never growing as a person for 30-odd years. But Doraemon’s little-known international cohorts, the Doraemons, are far superior in powers. Hailing from exotic locales such as Brazil, Spain, China, and, to a far lesser extent, America, the Doraemons don’t share the same feline weakness for mice like Japanese Doraemon (though they communicate exclusively in his Japanese language).
The Saudi Arabian robot, Doramed the 3rd, is a mustached gypsy of the Doraemon clan, has his own Arabic theme song, bellows a deep, menacing laugh, and hates water. He loves the sand and takes his dorayaki (red-bean pancake) very dry, thank you. But don’t let his not-so-thinly veiled racist caricature fool you, for he’s the fiercest Doraemon of them all. He supposedly has a pocket, but he never uses it, preferring to materialize his futuristic objects out of thin air with his genie lamp from the 4th dimension. He can grow into a giant when he gets angry, control animals for his bidding, and what Doraemon would be if you gave him evil sorcerer powers. Doramed would be a couple notches higher if he wasn’t afraid of swimming, the pussy.
9) Shishio from Rurouni Kenshin
Hiko Seijuro was purportedly the most unstoppable swordsman in the Rurouni Kenshin saga, but he lost the will to fight and became a hermit who sells pots. He did teach Kenshin some insane sword techniques, but the creator of Kenshin, Watsuki-san, said the order of strongest active fighting characters in his series still went like this: 1. Shishio, 2. Kenshin, 3. Who cares. Shishio was all bandages and fire, and there wasn’t a damn thing Kenshin or anyone else could do about him.
His sword has killed so many weaker samurai that it’s permanently drenched in blood and body fat oils, letting him flame his sword and slice his opponent while burning his gaping wound (a thoughtful antiseptic). He kills his own woman, using her as a shield to inflict a mere flesh wound on Kenshin, and if having women by your side willing to die for you isn’t power, what is? He was never beaten, either: one minute he’s smoking and the next he’s erupted into a howling burst of flames. Think about that—he’s the only anime villain so powerful that his body can’t handle his energy and he spontaneously combusts, leaving Earth’s weaker foes so he can, according to a relieved Kenshin, “conquer hell.”
8) Éclair from Kiddy Grade
Kiddy Grade’s Éclair is young, sassy, possibly a cyborg (with chest “enhancements”) and wears about as much as your average Abercrombie and Fitch model. She is part of the low C-class division of the Galactic Union, has a cute spaceship and robot, and thus would be a weaker and typical resident fan service in any other mecha-themed anime. But Éclair is actually not so young at 250 years old, has been “reborn” several times, and, while still relatively unclothed, has powers that can destroy entire army legions. She’s so strong even her lipstick is used as a weapon, drawing lines and then flailing said lines about like Indy Jones whips. Éclair is beaten, maimed, murdered, and teased, but she somehow gets right back up and plows forward mule-like after any little encumbrance. Since she can’t really “die,” she’s easily the most persistent female force in the galaxy.
7) Lina Inverse from Slayers
Dark Schneider would have a spot on this list, but DS was pretty pathetic in the Bastard!! six-episode OVA series. He’s insanely near omnipotent status in the manga version, but the series is still ongoing, and Uriel is a comparable strength, rendering DS’s power just not as unfair. Lina, on the other hand, has proven her mettle in countless Slayers series, and is thus the true sorcerer representative of this list. The anti-thesis to Éclair, Lina’s physical charms are infamously nowhere near as fruitful, but her sorcerer powers are beyond reproach, even if she’s afraid of slugs. What makes Lina so strong is that, beyond the standard staple of black magic, she’s the only one who can summon the Lord of Nightmares and wreak havoc up-close with the Ragna Blade, an energy sword on steroids, or from afar with the Giga Slave, the most powerful spell in the universe. In the original Slayers, the spell in its most puerile form turned a body of water into a lifeless cesspool. Plus, the spell can summon the sea of chaos itself, the Lord of Nightmares, which is a summon that can destroy the entire world. Seems fair to say that’s unreasonably powerful.
6) Lynn Minmei from Macross/Robotech
Minmei is a lover, not a fighter. Or an underage pop love song singer, to be more precise. But anytime your voice can wipe out a 4.8-million ship fleet of Zentraedi invaders through emotionally moving them to the point of immobility, we’d say that’s a pretty unfairly powerful weapon. And when you factor in that Minmei’s animated voice catapulted her voice actress Mari Iijima to real-life super-stardom in Japan through the bottomless pockets of idle Macross nerds across the world, that’s power transcending the confines of mere anime.
5) Kenshiro from Fist of the North Star
When creator Buronson conceived of the idea for Fist of the North Star, he said he made Kenshiro to be the character “who exacts revenge on all the assholes of my youth.” And exact revenge he does—Kenshiro’s trademark move is to punch his enemies in the face, count to ten to no one in particular, and watch dispassionately as their heads explode. Kenshiro has a special place in the hearts of many weak-kneed salarymen who grew up with the series and now wish they could master the Hokuto Shinken to make their section chief’s heads explode, but who instead must settle for dropping hundreds of coin into the Fist of the North Star pachinko machines and hoping for a head-exploding animated jackpot.
Kenshiro is the ultimate roided figure of all shonen manga—he actually has an entire arsenal of elaborate techniques which control the channeling points of the human body, most of them consisting pretty much of blowing up the other person’s body parts. But by tapping the right points, Kenshiro could do anything he wants to his opponents. He’s cured a sick child’s blindness. He’s also made an opponent drown himself in a puddle of water. Unlike the cheating ninjas of Naruto, Kenshiro didn’t need any help to win his battles. He fought alone and, in the end, he stood alone after having single-handedly destroying hundreds, if not thousands, of villainous scum. But Kenshiro did it all in the name of peace.
4) Haruhi from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya/Shinji Ikari from Neon Genesis Evangelion (tie)
This list has no place for omnipotent beings. They’re simply no fun since they can pull the “I created the universe!” card and have thus created any other character’s super strengths. Haruhi and Shinji, however, have a special place on this list since these two school brats are a couple of the most royally unstable “omnipotent” beings ever to give a god a bad name, and thus are not truly omnipotent at all. Haruhi can create and destroy as well as any of your Lains, but she doesn’t know her own powers, can be a moody bitch, and thus makes a pretty unreliable deity. What’s the point of having all that power if you can’t even know how to use it? There’s another season of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya forthcoming, so maybe things will change, but that seems unlikely.
The same goes for Shinji, whose fucked-up psyche is left to deal with the fate of mankind in the Human Instrumentality Project. Shinji, though, finally figures out how to utilize his powers of creation at the end of Neon Genesis Evangelion—and he turns it into his private therapy session. Even if you prefer the slightly more dour movie conclusion, he still does a poor job of exacting his strength on the world: Asuka continues to call him a disgusting little bitch, and a manly god should have more control over his subjects’ approval. It’s unfair that the fate of the human race should be left in the filthy hands of Shinji, but life’s a bitch sometimes. The verdict’s still out on how Shinji will handle mankind at the end of the new movie tetralogy. Perhaps creator Anno is feeling better now that he’s raked in his millions and can give Shinji the sort of self-esteem that he desperately needs.
3) Vegetto from Dragonball Z
He has Goku’s powers of teleportation, kamehameha blasts, and spirit balls, while also possessing Vegeta’s supreme cockiness and an ability to snap and hurl a thousand fireballs in a matter of seconds while still not hitting his target. Any number of Dragonball characters could make this list, but Vegetto seems to be the strongest in the canon since he could kill even in the form of a piece of candy. Considering Vegeta could’ve destroyed the planet way back in the beginning of the series, while Cell, according to his own testimony, could’ve destroyed the galaxy with his strongest kamehameha, let’s give Vegetto’s strength some perspective with some comparisons cobbled together from the meticulous research of Japanese message boards:
Tenshinhan, who is much stronger than “Fighting God” Master Roshi, is severely beaten by Piccolo’s henchman Drum, who Goku kills instantly and, after training for 8 years, becomes about as strong as Piccolo, who together just barely beat Raditz, who is about the same power level of a Saibaiman, who’re killed instantly by Tenshinhan and Piccolo, but who both don’t stand a chance against Nappa, who is beaten by a powered-up Goku, who must face off against a Vegeta who’s twice as strong, has powered up considerably, and still can’t even faze Recoome, who Goku kills in one hit, but still can’t face up to the four forms of Freeza, who, though a lot stronger, is cut to pieces by Trunks using half his power level, but who is actually just a fly when compared to Android #17 and, though actually nothing compared to Android #16, is still sucked up and used as a power-up for Cell, who is treated like a baby by Vegeta after having trained for a year in the Room of Spirit and Time, but who has the tables turned on him after Cell absorbs Android #18 and becomes unstoppable, who then is simply manhandled by an enraged Gohan, who Vegeta then passes in strength but still can’t defeat Majin Boo, who is about as strong as Gotenks, and not as strong as an awakened Gohan, but who’s still not as strong as Majin Boo after having sucked up Piccolo and Gotenks, is completely dominated, even after having absorbed Gohan, by the almighty Vegetto. That should clear it up for you.
2) Light Yagami from Death Note
The Death Note is the definition of an unfair fight. There really shouldn’t be anything like it in the world, but leave it to one bored god of death to make everyone else’s powers on this list obsolete. Simply writing the name of the victim and his method of death on the note will cause its victim to die within seconds irregardless of location. You could train for centuries in the black arts or under gravity conditions hundreds of times that of the Earth’s weight, only to die from a heart attack. With Light’s Death Note, there’s not a damn thing Goku, Dark Schneider, or any other roided heroes could do to prevent their deaths, and in the most un-anime-like, pathetic fashions to boot. Could you imagine Kenshiro sitting on the john, reading a copy of the newest issue of Travel and Leisure before his colon explodes and he’s left drowning in his own blood and feces? Well, Light has the nerve and means to act upon his imagination because he’s a bad man.
1) Luckyman from Tottemo! Luckyman!
Okay, I know what you’re thinking…Luckyman?! Who the fuck is Luckyman? But just hear me out, people. Luckyman’s special powers are…hey, where are you going? Come back here and listen! Luckyman is the luckiest superhero in the universe. His attacks are all fairly weak, but they always do massive damage in some form because he’s incredibly lucky. If he pulls a “Big luck” or “Eternal luck” card, there’s simply nothing anyone can do to defeat him. Minmei would try to sing, only she’d lose her voice at the crucial moment, and then possibly forever. Kenshiro would attempt the Musou Tensei, only to suffer a diabetes attack and then die from scurvy because he doesn’t eat vegetables. Light would mistakenly write his own name on the Death Note, or choke on a potato chip. Shinji would masturbate, slit his wrists, and cry.
Even the greatest fighters on this list have had to rely on a little luck from time to time, only Luckyman relies on a lot of it, every time, and he has the ability to produce it, every time. You don’t have to believe me—the Japanese themselves have anointed Luckyman the most powerful being in anime in forums like 2Channel and other message boards. Since they created all of these guys, we should take their word for it.