Star Wars, the Joyless Filmstrip Version
Posted at 9:11 AM Oct 02, 2008
It's way too early in the morning to process this, but oh well—apparently, at some point in the '70s, one of the zillions of Star Wars products was this old school (and I mean that quite literally) filmstrip. It takes everything that was cool about star Wars and replaces it with a soulless narrator, mediocre drawings of key scenes, random voices (that ain't James Earl Jones, people) and equally random sound effects. If you manage to make it through all 20 minutes, I'm going to put your name on a plaque here in the TR offices. (Via Girl Still Kickin')
Comments
Shit, no name on a plaque for me. I only made it 52 seconds in.
Posted 10/02/2008 at 06:26:26 AM31 seconds
Posted 10/02/2008 at 06:35:45 AM6 minutes
The phrase Luke woke to find a kindly old man bending over him almost made me question if this was Friday.
Posted 10/02/2008 at 06:41:02 AM6 minutes
The phrase Luke woke to find a kindly old man bending over him almost made me question if this was Friday.
Posted 10/02/2008 at 06:41:15 AMMediocre art? I think that's Al Williamson stuff right out of the Marvel movie adaptation.
Posted 10/02/2008 at 06:53:30 AMHaha, that is definitely NOT al Williamson art. Looks more like Dick Guella's handywork.
I only lasted five minutes.
Posted 10/02/2008 at 07:37:37 AMSaw the whole thing
Posted 10/02/2008 at 07:47:30 AMit was boring as hell but had some funny stuff like the part with Obi-wan bending over Luke and Darth Vader poking the dead Obi-wan robe
I made it all the way through.my favorite quotes are:
"Suddenly a piece of metal broke loose and a picture of a beautiful girl was projected from R2s face"
"Luke woke to see a kindly looking old man bending over him"
"Darth Vader and his friend Governor Tarkin were questioning Princess Leia"
the idea of Vader and Tarkin as friends is awesome! I just have images of them hanging out together talking about girls and stuff
Posted 10/02/2008 at 08:01:41 AMWOO HOO! Made it through!
Wow - worst - narrator - evar.
And the art is listed as "Charles Nicholas" which is basically a fake name that means "House Artist who doesn't own any of his work."
My favorite moments (between the mind numbing pain):
Leia 3D hologram doing the YMCA dance.
Use of the lightsaber FX for stun blaster sound.
" decided to go to Alderaan as his father would have done." - um, maybe to kill everyone there. The joys of hindsight.
" lifted his saber and brought it down on head." BONK *yuck yuck yuck*
And to make sure, the spelling is E-N-D-R-O-R-E-N
:)
Posted 10/02/2008 at 08:09:45 AMLess than 2min. awful.Can't take it any longer.
Posted 10/02/2008 at 08:33:51 AMLee-A?
Posted 10/02/2008 at 08:45:39 AMWhile I made it through, my children scattered away within ten seconds as if I was showing them a dental hygiene short.
Posted 10/02/2008 at 09:49:42 AMWay to make Star Wars unappealing.
I'm willing to bet that this was the greatest thing ever for some people since the idea of actually owning the film at home was an almost abstract concept
Posted 10/02/2008 at 11:39:10 AMLoved it! Would love to have a copy. Reminds me of growing up and listening to these poorly narrated filmstrips!
Posted 10/02/2008 at 01:41:54 PMThe narration is awesome:
"Showing her no mercy, they knocked her senseless with their ray guns."
That just sounds like Princess Leia got pistol whipped with space guns until she stopped moving.
Posted 10/02/2008 at 03:53:21 PM...58 seconds, "into the brain of a small droid...or robot"
I gave up
Posted 10/02/2008 at 05:39:23 PMGet that plaque ready cause I just saw the whole thing and enjoyed it.
Posted 10/02/2008 at 06:23:57 PMI watched the whole thing. I would have loved this strip as a kid. I had to settle for stuff like Murphey the Grump, and Cover Me Up.
Posted 10/02/2008 at 09:45:52 PM40 seconds. Its won the 'suckiest thing of my day' award.
Posted 10/03/2008 at 05:42:22 AMMade it through the whole thing.
Posted 10/07/2008 at 11:10:14 AMDid anyone count how many times Mr. Narrator said "meanwhile"?