By Rob Bricken in
Daily Lists, Miscellaneous
Monday, Nov. 24 2008 @ 5:03AM
By Chris CumminsDebuting in 1924 as an advertising promotion, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade has become as much a part of the holiday season as aggravation and forced conversation with family members. It's not the thrill of watching celebrities wave from floats or the joy kids experience when they see Santa Claus arriving at Herald Square, but the remembrance of a simpler time that makes the parade so endearing. Also, people hope they'll see innocent bystanders get clobbered by the parade's massive helium balloons. At least this has been the case in the past couple of years. In 1997, a woman wound up in a coma for three weeks after a Cat in the Hat balloon knocked down a street lamp that injured her (the balloon was retired from the parade shortly thereafter). A similar incident occurred in 2005, when an M&M's balloon gone astray injured 2 parade goers--including a woman in a wheelchair. Are high winds to blame, or are the balloon handlers just drunks? Whatever the reason, the balloons have found themselves with a major PR problem on their hands. In an effort to restore the public's faith in rubber representations of popular characters that fly high through the streets of Manhattan, Topless Robot presents this list of the 10 most awesome (and least dangerous?) balloons from the history of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
No matter how jaded of a bastard you may be, there's a pretty decent chance that you have fallen under the spell of Hello Kitty. Sanrio's endlessly marketable feline made her parade debut last year. That's right, last year. It's just wrong that it took so long for Hello Kitty to inflict her red-bowed cuteness on the people of New York City, but that's the way it is. And listen to the audience cheer in the above clip. They are smitten. Caught in her heavily merchandised grasp, overwhelmed by her charisma. Never to be free again. Didn't Jonestown start like this?
9) Kermit the Frog
Kermit the Frog has been a favorite Macy's balloon since 1977, but his most memorable appearance was in the 1990 parade--his first following the death of Jim Henson. As Henson's family members gathered to watch Kermit travel the parade route, Willard Scott narrated a tribute to the man who touched the lives of lovers and dreamers everywhere. A word of warning though, there's a good chance that watching the footage (which includes a haunting instrumental version of "The Rainbow Connection" ) will turn you into a blubbering mess.
8) Pikachu
A friend of mine who had the misfortune of working at Borders during the height of the Pokémon trading card frenzy used to torment kid customers seeking the collectibles by telling them that they'll "never catch them all." I imagine that this balloon would be the physical embodiment of hell to him. But to the rest of us, it's a flying yellow daydream. Even though Pikachu's red cheeks make him look like a cheap whore.
7) Charlie Brown
Life sucks. We are all chasing dreams that very few of us will actually get to realize. Just when we think we finally have made some progress, the Lucys of the world yank away our hopes and leave us lying in our own despair. The Charlie Brown balloon is a flying metaphor for human suffering, and I'm fine with that. Macy's have included Snoopy balloons in the parade throughout the years, but all his antics do is encourage kids to live in fantasy lands where anything is possible and dogs enjoy root beer. Try landing a decent job with that kind of worldview. No, you are better off following Charlie Brown's approach--fail early and often.
All that said, this Super Bowl ad from earlier this year warms my bitter heart.
6) Sonic the Hedgehog
It seems inconceivable that Pac-Man, Mario, or, God-help-me-it-would've-been-so-awesome, Donkey Kong never got to soar over the Manhattan crowds, but it wasn't until 1993 when Sonic the Hedgehog became the first video game character ever to get a balloon in the Macy's Parade. Sadly, this history-making event was nothing but a disaster for our spiky blue pal . Macy's officials deemed the weather to be too windy for Sonic to complete the parade route, so previously filmed footage from rehearsals was shown to TV viewers. As if that wasn't enough of an indignity for him to endure, Sonic was then punctured beyond repair when he was blown into a lamp post--our nation's pride deflating with him.
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39 comments
Comments
Halfazedninja said:
So, Back to the Future is part of the Marvel Universe?
vendetta said:
You're mother is part of the Marvel Universe.
Thadeus said:
Why is Robocop helping Dr. Doom?
manobon said:
^oOoo! You mean like Toby's dad in Mark Millar's "1985"? (pushes up glasses) =^]
Also- Great list to remind me that Thanksgiving is around the corner, and Not Christmas
Matt Beahan said:
Freakin' Luke Cage? I bet that was the highlight of his career until New Avengers...
Skeletor said:
The Hulk kinda looks like he belongs on Little People, Big World.
Mike said:
Those "fights" looked like scenes from the Benny Hill Show
JayWicky said:
From a foreigner's point of view : Macy's Thanksgiving Balloon parade is a typical American tradition that fascinates and amazes us to a degree. And there's another tradition, this time a Japanese one, that also fascinates and amazes us : giant robot animation.
I say it's quite sad that the two never came together and it's high time somebody fixed this. Can you imagine freakin' Mazinger Z or Voltron floating in the middle of these skyscrapers ? That would the cock. Or, I don't know, Optimus Prime to the very least.
JayWicky said:
From a foreigner's point of view : Macy's Thanksgiving Balloon parade is a typical American tradition that fascinates and amazes us to a degree. And there's another tradition, this time a Japanese one, that also fascinates and amazes us : giant robot animation.
I say it's quite sad that the two never came together and it's high time somebody fixed this. Can you imagine freakin' Mazinger Z or Voltron floating in the middle of these skyscrapers ? That would the cock. Or, I don't know, Optimus Prime to the very least.
JayWicky said:
Er... sorry for the double post, I don't really know what happened.
Teague said:
What year is that Marvel-thing from? (And seriously, what in the hell happened there? I think that was just random Marvel characters playing grab-ass.)
Oh, the humanity.
MEATHOOK said:
I had a miniature Super Grover that I duct taped to the handle bars of my bike. I thought he could help me fly...
Nice list.
Pj Perez said:
Teague: I think that Marvel Universe parade clip was from '88 or '89. And to be honest, as a young Marvel comics geek at the time, I didn't care how cheesy the choreography was -- watching that moment live was one of the fondest memories of my more tender years. Seriously -- when else were we going to see THAT MANY Marvel characters live action in costume in one place? It was like a Secret Wars comic come to life. You know, if SW had White Queen, Luke Cage and ... um ... Robocop in it. The White Queen! They should have gotten more close ups of that one!
Vegas Mom said:
I can remember going to the parade with my family. It would be so damn cold. One year Woody Woodpecker got caught up on a light post right next to us and Chauncey Howell, news reporter, interviewed my little brother about it. Bastard used an interview with those dining at Tavern on the Green instead of a 6 year old.
ranchoth said:
Maybe they could have Robocop fight an Optimus Prime balloon, some year. How would that NOT be awesome? :D
aznsong50 said:
Oh my GOD, you were right about #7--I watched the video, and I was indeed a blubbering mess! My roommate was like, Are you crying over a YouTube video?
I also loved that Superbowl commercial...Charlie Brown for the win!
LBD "Nytetrayn" said:
What? No Garfield?
And I totally agree on the Sonic one; that is, that it's amazing no one else got one first. A giant Pac-man floating through the air, down the street after a bunch of smaller, round yellow balloons would have been awesome.
And the people holding the balloons could be dressed as ghosts.
--LBD "Nytetrayn"
Arkkade said:
"up to your old tricks agen. A, Hulk?" lol
Was doc strange doing some kind of magic think to a
baloon at the begening?
cummins said:
LBD,
Your idea about the Pac-Man balloons with ghost handlers is absolutely genius!
eric Feasterville said:
Hello Kitty? Really?
And why do both The Hulk and Green Goblin look better in that god-awful street parade skit than in the multi-million dollar movie adaptations?
Kid Nicky said:
I find it hard to believe most of this wasn't cribbed from X-Entertainment.
Matt said:
Bullshit. Kermit is the best, followed closely by Charlie Brown. Spiderman? Seriously?
Gay.
Hmmm said:
Nice steal (X-Entertainment.com)
Riommar said:
No Snoopy? Snoopy has consistently been one best balloons ever. Besides to have Charlie Brown without Snoopy is like having Garfield without Odie
sweetestsadist said:
Sonic was my favorite. When he deflated, he broke a lamppost and injured an old lady. I was pissed when I read about it later, I wanted to see the carnage. The Macy's people should've known that all that pent up speed trapped inside something as slow as a balloon would cause mayhem. Heh, heh, heh.
And I have never been so bored by a Marvel action sequence...and I've seen Ghost Rider.
farsidefan said:
One of my favorite characters is missing : Bullwinkle. One of the all time great shows.
Rob said:
What are we supposed to be ripping off from X-Entertainment? Anyone have a link?
DJM said:
I'm not sure, but maybe Robocop is supposed to be Ultron? I mean, it looks a lot more like RoboCop, maybe they wanted Ultron but could not slap together a costume so they sent some temp to the nearest costume shop and said "Try to find something that looks like a robot"?
cummins said:
Robocop is definitely Robocop, Marvel briefly produced a Robocop cartoon--it was as good as could be expected for a non-violent toon based on an R-rated film.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaZGEFE30U0
You can see some of it there, though I don't recommend it much.
LBD "Nytetrayn" said:
cummins> Why, thank you. :)
--LBD "Nytetrayn"
mia said:
FUCK YES SUPER GROVER
OM said:
...What? No Bullwinkle? Now *that's* shameful, kids! Bullwinkle's still the best float in the parade, even if drunks mistake Galactus for him!
Johnno said:
Bullwinkle was cool, but we need ***UNDERDOG**** to save the day. And I must confess a secret fondness for Hello Kitty. One year, a long time ago, my father took me to the parade (somewhere in the West 60's) then we went home and saw the end on TV. By that odd coincidence, I saw every balloon sadly go down that year.......
noirakita said:
WHAT??? The Sonic Balloon was all pre-recorded? *cries* that has spoiled all future Macy's parades for me.
But on a happier note, I knew that Felix was the first Balloon. I adore Felix, I'm 26 and I have a DVD of the 50's toons, as well as some of the early 30's toons. He is definitely quite a funny cat.
KENNETH said:
HOW COME YOU PUT A SONIC THE HEGEHOG BALLOON VIDIO
KENNETH said:
CAN YOU PUT ON A YOGI BEAR BALLOON
KENNETH said:
BULLWINKL IS COOL TOO JOHNNO.
KENNETH said:
THE WHAT A DUCK BALLOON WAS GONE BECUSE IT WHAS FLYING
KENNETH said:
oh yah the yogi bear balloon from 1984 thats familear.
