5) Fuzzy Pumper Barber Shop
How in the hell did the words “Fuzzy Pumper” not enter our vocabulary as some sort of sexual slang? Was it too obvious for all of us or did an entire generation simply miss out on the obvious hilarity of these two wonderful words? Getting back on track, it’s fun to make people’s hair grow, and then cut it off. It’s interesting how as a child we can’t get enough of repetitive tasks but as adults, most repetitive tasks in our daily work environment make us long for the sweet release of death.
4) Count Creepy Head
Now you can be a little Tom Savini (or Jack Pierce, if you’re into the classics) in what is one of the most clever concepts put to Play-Doh. Count Creepy Head allowed you to create monster make-up and when you were bored, you simply ripped their goddamn faces off. If that didn’t thrill you, you could also just let the crap ooze from every orifice in his head. This will never stop appealing to children.
3) DC Super Powers
Nothing quite fits the bright primary colors of Play-Doh better than the DC Comics’ superheroes. This set gives you the big three—Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman—and some great villains to fight (although I would recommend against having them actually fight). The only thing missing is Plastic-man, who actually beats Aquaman in numbers of times he’s gotten the shaft in logical merchandise.
The one thing all makes have in common (besides that whole being able to pee anywhere we want) is we all went through a dinosaur phase. If you say you didn’t, you’ve simply blocked it out somehow. As a bonus, this set comes with a mold to make morbidly obese cave people, so even Sarah Palin can feel safe buying a set for her ridiculously named brood.
1) Pumper No. 9
Whoever married the Play-Doh Fun Factory concept with fire-fighting should have gotten a big bonus from Kenner, and all the lap dances they could stand. Admittedly, the playset doesn't make much sense—very few firefighters have the ability or desire to change the shape of their hoses—but it caters to every kids' innate desire to be a fireman or fire woman. Also, "Pumper No. 9" is just beaten by "Fuzzy Pumper" in the needs-to-be-a-euphemism-for-a-disgusting-sexual-act awards.