By Rob Bricken in
Cartoons, Daily Lists
Monday, Dec. 15 2008 @ 5:06AM
By Chris CumminsWith the notable exception of the Star Trek animated series, cartoon spin-offs of popular TV shows are pretty much unwatchable. Lousy with reused background footage and scripts penned by monkeys/invalids, these crapfests feature familiar characters getting thrown into "cool" new environments (i.e. outer space) where they meet "cool" new characters (i.e. talking animals) and have adventures that often culminate in a psychedelic musical number. It's unclear if the Raison d'êtres of these shows were to get kids interested in their live action counterparts or simply just to inflict suffering over the airwaves a la Videodrome. Either way, audiences haven't had to endure too many of these nonsensical toons since the FCC lifted the regulations prohibiting toy companies to make shows based on their products in 1984. As you will soon learn, this is a very good thing indeed. So hop aboard your cartoon spaceship and let's take a look at ten horrible cartoons that were inspired by prime-time favorites.
10) The Partridge Family 2220 AD
From The Flintstones to Scooby-Doo and beyond, Hanna-Barbera has given us some of the finest cartoons ever made. So it's especially sad that they were also responsible for this shameless rip-off of The Jetsons that transported the Partridges to the year 2200. Here's the thing, much like Quentin Tarantino claims that there are Elvis people and Beatles people, there are folks who prefer the Partridges over the Bradys. These people shouldn't be trusted and, if at all possible, you should monitor their activities and report any suspicious behavior to your local authorities. It has been scientifically proven that The Partridge Family show is responsible for such global problems as hunger, drought and erectile dysfunction. So clearly, it's something to be avoided. Same goes for this cartoon. But if you have ever wondered what would happen if the chirpy musical family somehow got transported to a utopian future where they owned a bullshit robotic dog and sperformed hateful bubblegum pop, go right on ahead and watch the above clip. But realize that we here at Topless Robot can't be held responsible for your actions.
Cute sidekick count: 1 (Danny's pet robot Orbit)
9) ALF Tales
In the golden days before Max Wright was photographed smoking crack, ALF was a pop culture empire that encompassed a hit NBC series, a successful Marvel comic and endless pieces of merchandise. At the height of his popularity, he starred in two Saturday morning cartoons--ALF: The Animated Series, which chronicled the alien's adventures on his home planet of Melmac, and ALF Tales. Over the course of 21 episodes, the series featured skewed recreations of stories ranging from Robin Hood to The Wizard of Oz. By the time the show's second season had begun to air in September of 1989, the viewing public had grown tired of jokes about cat-eating and ALF Tales left the airwaves shortly thereafter. Fun fact: thanks to the unreliability of nostalgia, many folks actually still believe that ALF was funny.
Cute sidekick count: 0 (Isn't ALF cute enough already?)
8) My Favorite Martians
Ignoring the fact that what made My Favorite Martian so great was the interaction between stars Ray Walston and Bill Bixby, this 1973-75 animated follow-up featured Uncle Martin (now voiced by Lost in Space's Jonathan Harris) continuing his exploration of humanity with the aid of his clueless nephew Andromeda. Like many of the other shows on this list, My Favorite Martians features a wacky pet sidekick whose sole point of existing is to provide comic relief. Why cartoons that were supposed to be funny in the first place needed these types of characters at all remains a mystery worthy of In Search Of.
Cute sidekick count: 1 (the stupid alien/animal hybrid Okey)
7) The Dukes
"Yes sir, the Duke Boys and Daisy are racin' ol' Boss Hogg clear around the world and they got to win the prize money so's Boss can't foreclose on the family farm. Naturally greedy ol' Boss wants the farm and the money for himself so he's been a-cheating and a-scheming every foot of the way." Spoken by a cartoony Uncle Jesse, those words began this 1983 spin-off to The Dukes of Hazzard. A low-rent Wacky Races, The Dukes is noteworthy for focusing on the universally hated Coy and Vance characters (thanks to a contract dispute, John Schneider and Tom Wopat didn't begin appearing as Bo and Luke until the middle of the show's first and only season). Perhaps the only saving grace of the show is how it made Boss Hogg's opening credits declaration of "Oh them Dukes!" a catchphrase at schoolyards throughout the 1980s.
Cute sidekick count: 2 (Smokey the raccoon and Rosco's dog Flash)
6) The Brady Kids
If you Partridge Family fans think this list was a bit too harsh on your beloved show, maybe you'll take a small bit of comfort in learning that The Brady Kids toon was shite too. Airing on ABC from 1972 to 1974, it featured Marcia, Jan, Cindy, Greg, Peter and Bobby hanging out in their tree house along with their magical mynah bird Marlon, their pet pandas Ping and Pong and their dog Mop Top. (Whither Tiger?) Weirdly enough, the show never featured Mike and Carol Brady or Alice, leading some viewers to speculate that the toon was set in a dark alternate reality where Marlon took on the guise of a dimwit and used his wizard powers to kill the elder Bradys before casting a mind control spell on the children to carry out his evil plans for world domination.
Cute sidekick count: 4 (Marlon, Ping, Pong and Mop Top)
1 | 2
33 comments
Comments
Oopla said:
I must dissagree with your choices. The Cartoon version of RAMBO being entirely absent from this list is almost as great of an abomination as the cartoon itself.
I present proof:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWZoe1UeUgc
"Starman" Matt Morrison said:
Ah, but Rambo is based on a movie, not a TV Show, and is thus ineligible for this list.
Now if they ever do "The 10 Lamest Cartoons Based on Movies", RAMBO should be right up there. Along with Conan the Adventurer - a cartoon in which the world's greatest barbarian swordsman is forced to share screen time with a comical ever-hungry baby phoenix, gets trained as a ninja and pals around with a wizard. And the less said about the spin-off "Conan and the Young Warriors", the better.
CartoonsInBed said:
Gotta point out the obvious Oopla. This list is cartoons based on TV shows, not movies.
Adam Ruining said:
Shouldn't the count on the top entry be 5?
plaidstallions said:
Wow, I flushed all memory of that Mork toon until now. um, Thanks Chris?
plaidstallions said:
Wow, I flushed all memory of that Mork toon until now. um, Thanks Chris?
Mitch Harden said:
I disagree with Matt's position on Conan the Adventurer. It was the most glorious before-school cartoon of my youth. Now the bar is set pretty low, as Conan competed with Denver the Last Dinosaur, Dinosaucers, and Jem re-runs. But still...
OhioPest said:
If Conan is going to be on the list can we include "Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos"?
gilligan said:
I did a post on cartoon adaptions of TV shows back in August and the writer for the Mork & Mindy cartoon actually commented on my blog. He gave a little explanation as to why the show was so awful.
Here's the post:
http://my-retrospace.blogspot.com/2008/08/cartoon-adaptations-of-tv-shows.html
Personally, my worst cartoon adaptation would be the Bewitched cartoon spin-off called "Tabatha and Adam and the Clown Family" - yes, that was really its title.
cummins said:
Gilligan-
Great article and blog! I didn't know about that Gidget cartoon, I'd love to see it. Some nice insights into the truth about the "Mork and Mindy" toon as well.
ffwpro said:
Wait -- does WWF wrestling count as a TV show? If it does I think Hulk Hogan and friends need to be included on the list...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRx01Q45LGg
simonnumbernine said:
ha ,cute sidekick count,try saying that really fast...
surerly an honourable mention for the mr.T show and that car that split in two?
googum said:
I only suffered through one episode of Gilligan's Planet, but considering how much I loved the original show, it hurt a lot: feeling useless as a seafaring man on an alien planet, the Skipper needs something to do, so the castaways build him a boat. Gilligan naturally screws the pooch, and they get stuck on an island, on the planet. The how and why, and why that would even be an issue since they were stuck anyway...I don't know. I do know, that this show is the secret origin of me yelling at fiction, though.
Eric Feasterville said:
What the? There's only eight cartoons listed...
ArtGuyJeff said:
After seeing "The Fonz and the Happy Days Gang" one very late night on Cartoon Network about 8 years ago, I talked to a good friend of mine who was an artist at Hanna-Barbera during the late 70s and 80s. I mentioned to him how awfully horrible I thought it was, especially the little talking dog sidekick, that I was boggled that H-B would even put out such crap, and that I sincerely hoped he hadn't worked on it.
He replied, "heh... not only did I work on it, but I'm the guy who DESIGNED the little dog sidekick. And yeah, that whole show really sucked for all of us who worked on it."
He assured me that H-B was paying them all pretty well, so they made the best of it.
THE PR0F3550R said:
Bad cartoons based off a(the) Movie(s):
1. James Bond Jr.
2. Back to the Future
3. Teen Wolf
4. Star Wars (Any of them. Droids. Ewoks. New CGI Clone Wars. Your pick.)
5. Ace Ventura Pet Detective
6. The Karate Kid
7. The Mask
8. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
9. X-Men Evolution (quasi-based on the movie franchise. It sucked)
10. 101 Dalmatians the Animated Series
11. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventures
12. Toxic Crusaders
13. Rambo
14. BeetleJuice
Good cartoons based off a(the) movie(s):
1. Roughnecks: Starship Troopers Chronicles
2. The Real Ghostbusters
3. Clerks
Any others? Probably not.
How about another cartoon series that bastardized a TV show...Muppet Babies... yeah I know people like this show, but I still like the regular Muppets over this cutesy-poo cartoon.
THE PR0F3550R said:
Bad cartoons based off a(the) Movie(s):
1. James Bond Jr.
2. Back to the Future
3. Teen Wolf
4. Star Wars (Any of them. Droids. Ewoks. New CGI Clone Wars. Your pick.)
5. Ace Ventura Pet Detective
6. The Karate Kid
7. The Mask
8. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
9. X-Men Evolution (quasi-based on the movie franchise. It sucked)
10. 101 Dalmatians the Animated Series
11. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventures
12. Toxic Crusaders
13. Rambo
14. BeetleJuice
Good cartoons based off a(the) movie(s):
1. Roughnecks: Starship Troopers Chronicles
2. The Real Ghostbusters
3. Clerks
Any others? Probably not.
How about another cartoon series that bastardized a TV show...Muppet Babies... yeah I know people like this show, but I still like the regular Muppets over this cutesy-poo cartoon.
cummins said:
I considered putting "Muppet Babies" on this list, until I remembered that the concept of the Mupbabies originated in "The Muppets Take Manhattan." It does deserve the credit for spawning the 'kids versions of established characters' that continues to this day. (Don't get me started on "The Flintstones Kids" or, god help me, "Baby Looney Tunes"). Compared to these shows, "Muppet Babies" is brilliant.
Matt said:
Best description i will read all day, thanks TR!!
"televisual hat trick of misery"
LittleBigSteve said:
"The Real Ghostbusters" actually was worth watching. (And Slimer is still the best comic-sidekick ever, though we will not speak of his spin-off cartoon.)
So was MiB, the cartoon spin-off of Men in Black. It was sure as heck better than the movie sequel anyway. My favorite episode features a visit to the MiB west office in L.A., which has turned totally Hollywood, casting resident aliens as aliens in science fiction movies.
In both cases, they took the basic premise of the original movie, built on it in creative ways, expanded the world, and backed it all up with solid writing.
You'd think that would be a pretty obvious formula, but not so much.
ABS said:
but the cartoon Laurie Partridge was hot!!
whoever put Beetlejuice on the "bad" list - FAIL
Tego Livi said:
They're not on the radar of most adults, but Disney is putting out some excellent cartoons based on movies lately, especially "Lilo and Stich" which was almost as good as the movie, and "The Emperor's New School" which is very good (but I haven't seen that movie).
Snoodle said:
I'd never heard of #5...and frankly I'm scared.
C Dub said:
These are some of the worst cartoons ever made. Thanks for making me aware of them.
cb said:
i saw almost all of the cartons on this list as a kid and I know I didn't like any of them, even as a kid who didn't know any better. But i do recall actually laughing at some of alftales. i do love parody. of course it's been a long time since i saw them and I only saw 1 or 2 of them.
Fayded said:
Ug. What about the animated "Sabrina the Teenage Witch"?
LBD "Nytetrayn" said:
I actually kind of liked the Back to the Future cartoon. Guilty pleasure. But I just love BttF that much that I'd take more wherever I could get it. The real Doc Brown at the start and finish of the show helped, too. Plus Bill Nye, if I'm not mistaken.
Does the Gary Coleman show count, by the way?
Punky Brewster didn't sting so much for me, as I saw that before I ever saw the live action show. The latter made far less sense to me as a result. :P
Chuck Norris and his Karate Commandos was mentioned, but that wasn't based on a movie, was it? Just the star, I thought.
PR0F3550R> I disagree on "any" Star Wars; the Clone Wars shorts were good. I liked X-Men Evolution too, though.
--LBD "Nytetrayn"
Uncle Soaky said:
What the hell are you talking about professor? (i refuse to spell your name in fucking numbers) The star wars animated shorts were the best goddam thing to happen in the whole star wars prequel shit-fest. But I have to disagree with nytetrayn, x-men evolution was a rape to my fucking senses and I lost a piece of my comic-loving childhood because of it. Fuck that show and fuck all the people who were responsible for it.
Uncle Soaky said:
What the hell are you talking about professor? (i refuse to spell your name in fucking numbers) The star wars animated shorts were the best goddam thing to happen in the whole star wars prequel shit-fest. But I have to disagree with nytetrayn, x-men evolution was a rape to my fucking senses and I lost a piece of my comic-loving childhood because of it. Fuck that show and fuck all the people who were responsible for it.
Uncle Soaky said:
uh, fuck these double postings too
THE PR0F3550R said:
Uncle Soaky and LBD "Nytetrayn" I didn't add the CN Clone Wars shorts done by Genndy Tartakovsky as those were pretty decent. I'm talking about the other "NEW CGI" Clone Wars series. It sucks!
Paul S. said:
Ellen Degeneres actually slipped in a parody of these types of shows in the final episode of her ABC series "Ellen." During a fictional retrospect of her career they showed a clip from a short-lived 70s cartoon entitled "Ellen's Funbunch & The Harlem Globetrotters In Outerspace."
It probably would have been a better show than most of the cartoons on this list.
ZeroCorpse said:
I offer to you the Three Robonic Stooges, which DOES count because the Stooges had plenty of TV time as well as movie shorts and features. But THIS show was just plain bad.
It was about the Three Stooges being alive in the 80s, but modified with robotic parts, thus making them into some sort of undead cyborgs (or perhaps immortal cyborgs is a better way to look at it).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spE_uvhLWqU
I would also say that the Super Globetrotters was pretty bad, but it doesn't really count even though they were on plenty of TV shows, and I think they may have had several TV specials back in the 70s and 80s. The premise to Super Globetrotters? The team had super powers and fought crime, of course! That's what you do with EVERY property you can't directly translate to Saturday Morning!
I won't provide a link... Find them on YouTube, though.
