The 10 Most Famous Geek Arguments

By Rob Bricken in Daily Lists
Wednesday, May 6, 2009 at 5:00 am
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By Jason "Poe Ghostal" Clarke

Since what we think of as "geeks" first appeared in the late twentieth century, there have been geek arguments. Where sports fans have been getting in drunken bar fights over their favorite teams forever, it's only recently that geeks created the Internet equivalent of a bar fight--the flame war.

Of course, one can assume with a fair degree of confidence that almost all geeks would immediately retreat from an actual physical confrontation, but the anonymous freedom of the Internet coupled with the ability to respond almost instantly on message boards has allowed geeks to argue viciously about things that most self-respecting people have never even thought of, much less deemed worthy of discussion.

10) Freddy vs. Jason

Horror geeks hashed this one out for years: which supernatural slasher would win in a fight? Jason was slow, stupid and awkward, but more or less impossible to kill, and had the distinct benefit of existing in the real world. Freddy was smart and fast, but could only attack you in your dreams. Incredibly, this argument actually got answered in 2003's Freddy vs. Jason. Naturally, the fight more or less came out to a draw, and viewers found themselves in the odd situation of seeing Jason as a kind of hero--or at least anti-hero--in opposition to the utterly evil Freddy.

9) Is Pluto a Planet?

This is one of the rare nerd arguments that has actually played out in the public sphere and been cared about by the non-geek community. In August 2006, the International Astronomical Union reclassified Pluto as a "dwarf planet." This caused quite a stir, and Pluto turned out to have a surprising amount of support for a barren chunk of rock billions of miles away. Part of the controversy may have been because Pluto was the only planet discovered by an American; but more likely it was because several generations had grown up with the nine planets and the idea of demoting one of them seemed like blasphemy (not to mention how much it would cost the public school system in new posters). While Pluto remains a dwarf planet, the debate regarding its status goes on.

8) The Juggernaut vs. the Blob
This one's simple. The Juggernaut is an unstoppable force. The Blob is an immovable object. What happens when they clash? The universe as we know it should implode, right? Well, that's one of many theories. Fan explanations have gone into everything from working it out with actual physics to claiming the Gem of Cyttorak would give Juggernaut a supernatural edge. In the comics, the Blob has actually been moved by the Juggernaut, Hulk, and even Strong Guy(!), so clearly the Blob's whole "immovable object" claim is an exaggeration at best. Still, Juggernaut vs. Blob remains the geek equivalent of the Omnipotence Paradox.

7) Would Sex with Superman Kill Lois Lane?
Considering Superman's immense powers and his ongoing flirtation with Lois Lane, it was inevitable people would begin to wonder: what would happen if Superman had sex with Lois? Generations of fans have enjoyed speculating obsessively upon the minute details of how Kryptonian/human sex might work--or not work. Science fiction author Larry Niven wrote a famous article called "Man of Steel, Women of Kleenex" to examine the issue. The question even popped up in the comics as an Elseworlds story, although in this case it was giving birth to their super-strong child that killed Lois, not the sex itself. The danger of lethal ejaculation was used as a joke a deleted scene in the movie Hancock.

6) Who's the Best Doctor?

There have been almost a dozen actors to play the Doctor on Britain's long, long-running Doctor Who television show, but for a long time the unquestioned favorite was Tom Baker, who played the Fourth Doctor. Baker's unique performance lasted seven years, meaning an entire generation of Doctor Who fans grew up with the same Doctor. With his mess of curly hair, distinctive long scarf and fondness for jelly babies, Tom Baker became the iconic image of the Doctor for many--just saying the name Doctor Who brought his character to mind. Much like Sean Connery and the James Bond films, every time a new actor takes over the Doctor role, they're inevitably compared to the Fourth Doctor.

The only Doctors to ever challenge Baker's supremacy have been the Seventh Doctor (Sylvester McCoy) and the current Tenth Doctor (David Tennant). While the Seventh Doctor once beat Baker in a fan poll shortly after his tenure ended and the Tenth won recently, it remains to be seen whether any Doctor can match the enduring popularity of Baker's run.
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