• Late, but couldn't resist: I. My pet zombie man, Sometimes he tries to bite me, Bad Fido, no brains. II. When Megan Fox turned Nobody really noticed Her breasts stayed the same

• And I missed the deadline.

• Can not write Haiku The words are stuck in my head No T-shirt for Dep

• The zombie army lurches fowards, looking for walking MREs.

• The zombie army lurches fowards, looking for walking MREs.

• Where did my arm go? And why do I now crave brains? I can't bend my knees

• I wonder if that Fat zombie will chase me? I hope its lazy "Za b arra nhag Za b?" Ahm a gahzazambah an zangr, arzhahm! {that be in Urban Dead's zombie language, "Zamgrh"}

• Who threw the napalm? Flaming zombies after us thanks a lot jerk face dual wield hatchet Shotgun with a chainsaw on I am a bad ass three weeks in the house watching my neighbors get killed haha so much fun

• I am a human These other zombies are dicks Let me in, asshole. Real life zombies suck Left 4 Dead was much harder Where is the damn tank? We're not all evil I'm gonna watch Judge Judy Maybe Dead Set too Let's attack that house Where did these damn plants come from? Shit, get the bobsled

• Oh Zombie babies I kick ass for the Lord! Yeah! Dead Alive was great New Apocalypse Dead rise up, eats the living Shotgun to the face Wow sheila is hot Walking around, Strutting slut Gross she's a zombie My mom told me once Aim for the head. Dont Think, DO I had to kill her ARGHH! SHIT! What a mess! I should not have eaten it oh what the hell, BRAAAAIIINNNSSSS I am on a boat Eating fish all god damned day zombies dont swim yay! Shotgun shells: one left thousand of them around me I wont become one!

• Grab my machete, charge at the undead army, tripped and stabbed myself

• Crap thought 3am was deadline like robot haiku was.

• Im the walking dead. It was either do this or watch the Transformers. Step drag stumble drool. The living think they can hide. I will catch up soon. Clawing at the doors. Lost finger nails left and right. This used to hurt more? They release their dog Fluffy tears off my right arm Flees with it's new snack Door wide open now. Their guard dog has run away Irony not lost. Survivors shoot me Twice in my chest, not my head Won't they ever learn. Nowhere to go now They huddle in a corner Ill eat live flesh soon Epiphany hits They stand up and run around me I'm a slow zombie. Emit heavy sigh I roll my eyes in disgust Right eye popped out One eye looks down now the other sees straight ahead this is confusing. Still get motion sick Thought "undead" would have cured that. Is that a penny? What was i doing? Oh yeah following my snacks Had A-D-H-D. Tripped. Hit head on wall Right eye broke off, rolled away Much less confusing. Why am I hungry? Lost my stomach months ago doesn't make much sense. No time to wonder, my meals running back to me Chased by more like me. Run past yet again. Barely even notice me. I reach out and miss. Try to go faster Hard with one eye and one arm Throws balance way off. They run across street One trips on other side. Im catching up now. I shamble across Didn't look both ways crossing. Never saw that truck. Bright lights blind my eye. So close to my next dinner now there is nothing.

• I know, I know times up for this one... but I'm WEST COAST BITCHES!! Billy Mays NOT you, Human Siders seem messy, Oxyicute them clean!

• #1 please, raise the dead now send them after Michael Bay death to robot balls #2 my name is tar man I love chomping on punk's brains nothing is sweeter #3 will someone please put Michael bay and uwe boll in a zombie pit

• Like cherry blossoms Gently falls the ichor from My extremities. Black is my love's hair Red both of lip and cheek, so Stained with dead men's blood. To an angry man Asked, "What's eating you, my friend?" Then answered, "It's me."

• Zombification, Never thought it would happen to me, Oh no, a shotgun!

• Yesterday, I asked, "Will I ever tire of brains?" I'm pretty sure no. Motorcycle crash. Helmet and skull cracked open. My job is half done!

• Yum yum in my tum I love brains they tastes so good Brains I love I hungry my feet are hurting from chasing you all today I want to taste brains Bad stereotypes They put on me and my friends we are just zombies

• Because I love you That's why you have to let me EAT YOUR BRAAAAIIIINS!

• Stumbling and moaning, Always questing for fresh brains. Day in the unlife. Italian brains: The human spaghetti squash. Meatballs found below. Zombie invasion! Property values go up When they hit Jersey. Pale-faced and ageless, Wishes she could turn back time. Zombie gay icon. And last, but certainly not least... "Table for one, please." "Do you have reservations?" "No, but my meal does." Thank you and good night!

• I'm here to save you The future looks much brighter little rage monkey

• Tiresome nerd trend. Why does anyone still care? It is getting old.

• No more blind dates, ever You pick the worst men for me This one tastes like ass

• Less than one hour left, Then contest of zombies end... Yet their threat still looms...

• Love your pretty eyes Holding you tightly dear As I eat your face

• ARGH. One more time... Ah, huturducken! Favorite delicacy, With layered flavors. Wow, I beat that one down to a horrible death.

• Let me rework that one, in case people get picky with pronunciation: Ah, huturkducken! Favorite delicacy, With layered flavors.

• Mary-Kate, Ashley Say they refuse to wear rags. It makes them look fat. Newspaper headline: "Zombies Run Rampant on Earth - Fat Kids Fear for Life." The zombies decide - Quality *and* quantity. They hit Asia first. This guy tastes quite dry... Have you any Grey Poupon For Gary Poupard? I eat my own brains. Was a masochist in life, It's worse when undead. Ah, huturkducken! A favorite delicacy, With layered flavors.

• Matt K, I agree with you. This is meant to be a good natured competition, and the entries are all anyone should focus on. Oh please, my point is that Kireji & Kigo are unnecessary since we are not writing traditional Japanese poetry. Poetry need not strictly conform to tradition. I am not alone, "fuckless", or fat, and I have already beaten you at one game; the second line of your haiku had only 6 syllables. Incidentally, my "rules" are from the dictionary. Everyone else, ignore us completely and enjoy the haikus.

• "Fuckable zombie" Fun on warrenellis.com Not fun without lube. (If I remember right, that was a title Ellis was never able to come up with a story for. Probably just as well, yeah. I have one, but still.) (A story for that title, not a fuckable zombie...)

• Fast zombies? Where? How? Show me fast Americans, THEN I'll be scared. Trapped and starving, Zombies everywhere, can I eat them? Cool, not cool? Ah, those suck, but I wanted to enter.

• Nurse/Pyramid Head. Make little zombie babies. Fan fics make me cry.

• From when we first met You would always have my heart Now I will eat yours. Momma zombie sees Her son playing catch with Timmy Don't play with your food Poor hungry zombie He just wants to find a brain But he's on Fox news. Here come zombie fish Ready to eat all humans Now who is brain food? Look at Steve Junior He sure has his father's eyes Next, he'll take his brain. Zombie Transformers A plan that's both sick and wrong Don't tell Michael Bay. Why date a Zombie? They don't care about appearance They value your brain. So full he could burst Was the one lucky zombie Who got in MENSA When the zombies come Hide behind a Star Trek fan Big fat human shield Dystleix zombie Always has trouble eating Where are the niarbs? Is it still too soon To make a crude thriller joke With Michael Jackson? Zombie cheerleaders come. And the undead are not the Only thing that will rise When the zombies come The worst place to hide from them Is at Jenny Craig Poor hippy Zombie He will only eat those brains That comes from vegans Which brain to eat? Both of them look so tasty I am of two minds. The undead rise Nobody is scared at all We don't even have jobs Dear zombie Rabbi Which of the blessings for food Do I make on brains? Undead go on ice What weapon can stop them now? Find a zombonie. The dead are coming And leading them as before Jerry Garcia Zombie only will eat Human flesh that is white meat Dumb racist zombie Mindlessly walking They simply eat and destroy Not zombies, teenagers. Question for the ages Between zombies or vampires Who is more undead My inner child Is crying to be let out Soon I'll digest him I shot his head off But the zombie has one more Stupid conjoined twins Undead roam the streets I'm safe in parent's basement Who's the loser now?

• I used to have hope now all I have left are guns. Let's kill some zombies

• The worst part, you ask? Not the chewing on your flesh, Zombies smell rotten

• I have one shell left They have me surrounded now It's my last escape

• Something wrong with me... I'm not a proper zombie. I've coherent speech. Poetic zombies. Tortured just as much undead, As when they still lived. Zombie assistant. Boss asked me, "Give me a hand?" Gave him my left one. That zombie is drunk! Instead of him staggering, He walks in straight lines. Zombie Iron Chef! The secret ingredient? Why, brains and offal!

• With Nerd references! ---------------- Oh, foolish mortal Resistance is futile I am zombie borg ----------------- Chainsaws are deadly Unless they run out of fuel Damn backstabbing hand ---------------- I wanted this death To live forever, a dream The cake is a lie

• I know some who run but my rotting flesh is weak so I plod and moan

• I smell living flesh So begins my long slow walk I must find that flesh

• Crap. I forgot the cutting technique and seasonal imagery of the true form. But lacking a "proper" sample in the master's lesson, I'll have to muddle through on my own: Oh please, a fresh skull Blossoming with pendantry... Alas, without brains.

• brains are for dinner brains are for lunch brains are so good to munch munch munch

• More poems! Separated by neat lines! ---------------- We rot together Embracing the afterlife Enjoying the brain ------------ You cut them in two Not knowing they would come back Karma takes your life Serial killer Your body count will rise fast You are now undead ----------- I used to be smart Won awards for my poems Lost my brain to them ----------- The thought that haunts me, "Heaven is paradise" Zombies never know ---------- I was prepared Aimed to kill those zombies Did not watch my back ---------- I hated this man But I hesitate to fight When he walks again If I live, he dies If I die, he suffers on Moral dilemma ----------- Bazooka tears through Zombie pieces rain down Infection spreads ---------- @Matt K, more like the Irish drinking songs, where just anybody gets to tack on a verse as long as it relates to the previous one.

• @Tabitha So haikus were originally Japanese rap battles. And I notice that the ones complaining the most about what a haiku isn't have not posted any haiku at all...aside from Grunt's haiku about a haiku...which has nothing to do with Zombies (and I'm sure by further definition of context, isn't a haiku at all). Haikus 'bout zombies: Some people just can't have fun. Too busy bitchin'.

• Plants Vs. Zombies A good game. A better song. "Butter on my head!"

• "Zombies on the lawn? Then try this brand new product," bellows Billy Mays

• Messed up on one line! Plese let me reiterate, My stupid haiku: "Fuck! I just got bit. Should I be honorable, And tell my allies? Will I get mercy? Will I get a chance to run? Or just a head shot? No! I can resist These new cannibal desires. No brains for this guy! ...Yep. Sure won't do that. ...I'm not even that tempted. ...Not even a bit. Maybe, just a bite. Then, I will be done with this. But where should I start? Five minutes later Shit! I may have gone too far. Jane is in pieces! As the crowd runs in, I try to explain the scene, As coincidence. "There's blood on your shirt!" The crowd screams. I say sweetly, "It's tomato sauce!" "There's brain in your hands!" The crowd yells. I smile widely, "I'm just fixing it!" "There's flesh in your teeth!" The crowd points out. I respond, "I forgot to floss?" They point the shotgun Right between my eyes. I gulp. "WORKS FOR US," They claim! As the group exits, I make a pact to myself, "Won't do that again!" But then I see her, Jane's sister is here with me. Looking sad and weak. I try to comfort, But after one wiff of her, I break that promise."

• Sorry for the double post, my internet decided to crap out on me. I wasn't sure if it went through or not.

• Oh, for you guys being anal, the seasonal references weren't part of the original haiku. Originally, haiku was a parlor game where people would get together and create several lines of a single poem. The first person would compose a 5-7-5 verse, and then another person would compose a 7-7 verse. They'd keep going in that format until they felt their poem was completed. It was called Tanka. It was Basho who decided to write tanka by himself, and without the connecting 7-7 verse. He also was the first to include seasons as metaphors for his emotional state of being. The parlor game then evolved into a respectable art form. It was then Masaoka Shiki who started reading individual verses as a full poem in and of itself. When introducing it to the English speaking countries in the 19th century, he called it Haiku, from the word of the first verse "Hokku". Thus, the haiku that we write today is not traditional haiku. It is an evolution, and in the English speaking countries, it's evolving to not have a strict syllable structure.

• For this grouping, I'm going for a theme of double entendres and whatnots... Going for my walk. It's a morning ritual, And it's always dawn. I love my boyfriend... But having him for dinner? Goes straight to my thighs. There's no zombie love. So what if we don't sparkle? At least we don't suck... A zombie buffet. But there's nothing else but brains? I prefer Brians.

• Oh, for you guys being anal, the seasonal references weren't part of the original haiku. Originally, haiku was a parlor game where people would get together and create several lines of a single poem. The first person would compose a 5-7-5 verse, and then another person would compose a 7-7 verse. They'd keep going in that format until they felt their poem was completed. It was called Tanka. It was Basho who decided to write tanka by himself, and without the connecting 7-7 verse. He also was the first to include seasons as metaphors for his emotional state of being. The parlor game then evolved into a respectable art form. It was then Masaoka Shiki who started reading individual verses as a full poem in and of itself. When introducing it to the English speaking countries in the 19th century, he called it Haiku, from the word of the first verse "Hokku". Thus, the haiku that we write today is not traditional haiku. It is an evolution, and in the English speaking countries, it's evolving to not have a strict syllable structure.

• They beg and squeal When they see me. Don't they know, I'm trying to eat!?

• People get angry, When arguing bout' haikus. Little do they know, Zombies are coming. And no matter, right or wrong, They will fuck you up.

• I chew on his bone Swallow his sweet juicy flow This is not a porn The women, they cry Bisexual embraces He was their lover I kill all of them If only I still lived We could have had fun -- That was all one Haiku, btw.

• square: close enough, but no cigar. hugo: gay sex on the brain much? its called projecting. look it up. Kireji & Kigo. Thats my point. Don't give me that wikipedia shit saying English 'free form' doesn't need them. You want to walk away from that thinking you're right, by all means go ahead. That's how it feels to be retarded. Why don't you just rename the contest "Sadsacks with nothing better to do on their weekends Bastardize an ancient artform with some embarassingly lame attempts at humour instead of finding a woman who would dare allow them put their clammy hands anywhere near her. " Ya, that's more accurate... Otherwise I guess I could just use your silly made up rules to make my point: Stupid Fuckless Geek, Can Beat You In Any Game, Dies Alone & Fat.

• I was out shopping When the world started to end And now I am one It is just me now But my buckshot is loaded; I dare you to move They ate at her brains But she was wasted on drugs; High zombies attack The snowflakes flutter Across the poor fallen soul; Now I feed again I feed off my love; Though the hunger never ends, We are together We fought against hell Striving for life, we failed Immortal are we Rain washes the blood The land becomes infected It was all in vain Crimson on the wall Weary are the next movements Well guarded brains The smarter the brain, The more delicious the taste; I only eat nerds

• Where are the zombies? The Zed are outside the doors. We wait for the dawn. A close encounter So many friends are dead now None can see the bite Human or Zombie Civilization is dead Only survival

• Zombie craves "More brains!" Undead Trash has no hoo-ha. Better drop that nuke. Oscar for Frodo Was overdue for zombie Baby in blender. Bob makes some good points. He's not unreasonable. I say hear him out. Crap, lost my girlfriend. Hooray for zombie mayhem! To the Winchester! Stop! Don't shoot yourself! It's just a "Thriller" flash mob. Hmm, on second thought... Are Deadites zombies? Boomsticks don't discriminate. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. Can't score the ladies? Could be the all-brain diet. Maybe a breath mint? Brisk walk, everyone! What do you mean, "They're running?" That's total bullsh-aaaghhh! Brains brains brains brains brains! How come we always order What YOU want? Selfish. --- and one with an, um, alternative meter... When there's no more room in hell George will still repeat Same old zombie formula

• I want to indulge my love of gray matter, but I misplaced my jaw.

• That World of Warcraft I play it all god damn day Makes me a zombie Bag over my head Run from me while you still can Chainsaw in my hand I'm Pyramid Head What a fucking awful name Still I end your game Just come and get it! It is a running buffet It's all you can eat! Zombies are better When they strip and get naked Then fuck me to death Billy May's Is Dead Michael Jackson is dead too They should do thriller Homer shot him down Is this really now the end Of Zombie Shakespeare? Barracade the door For here now the zombies come We still wish to live

• "Oh please" is a sad person filled with cocky angst needs some zombie love meat up in his ass

• Hey, c'mon now, there's no need for hostilities. This is just supposed to be goofy fun. These aren't going to be published as "Examples of a Proper Haiku." Let Rob be the judge if it qualifies as a proper haiku entry and just enjoy reading everyone's entries. I'm an English Professional Writing graduate, but there's no need to go grammar nazi on a contest for a geek/humor website!

• The dead laugh as I shit my pants when the licker breaks through the window can't find that goddamned ink ribbon Soldiers storming into the mansion tonight we feast On the bodies of fallen S.T.A.R.S Umbrella's private Island Crossdressing vilain Claire says to Chris "let's get the fuck out of here" Each time that bitch gets in trouble a chainsaw-wielding zombie separates my head from the rest of me treat your wounds carefully blue, green or red herb spicing up your tender meat

• "Oh please", we do know what a haiku is: 1. A Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons. 2. A poem written in this form. In English it is all about the syllables; the seasonally reference is not essential to the form and the other Japanese qualities cannot be translated. We have been writing haiku, and your failure to understand that is embarrassing.

• Unconventional Holes are everywhere you look Zombie sex orgy Blood, puss and semen Gaahhh! don't aim that at my hair Zombie bukkake.

• My pulse stop throbbing / I suddenly crave brains / Cue George Romero.

• they blew me in half but now i can eat their brains again and again

• Moaning in the dark trapped and clawing at the wood fuck, coffins suck balls

• We've been friends for years a zombie just bit your arm? sorry, time to die.

• If There's a bald guy and he suggests the basement just kill him right then.

• Poking sockets the living don't have, zombie love is a wondrous thing. [working title: You Are Fucking Dead]

• Your eyes keep moving but I've just cut off your head man that's fucking cool

• Travelling alone, if I blow my brains out, could I still zombify? [working title: Guessing the Rules additional entry to follow]

• do I look that bad why do you constantly run I just want friends

• see thats the thing when you get bunch of people who think they know something but really don't. you end up with an embarassing collection of group stupidity. LEARN WHAT A FUCKING HAIKU IS YOU MORONS. jesus, everytime. idiots thinking its just about syllables and shit. even the example zombie haiku wasnt a haiku.

• Fuck! I just got bit. Should I be honorable, And tell my allies? Will I get mercy? Will I get a chance to run? Or just a head shot? No! I can resist These new cannibal desires. No brains for this guy! ...Yep. Sure won't do that. ...I'm not even that tempted. ...Not even a bit. Maybe, just a bite. Then, I will be done with this. But where should I start? <I>Five minutes later</I> Shit! I may have gone too far. Jane is in pieces! As the crowd runs in, I try to explain the scene, As coincidence. "There's blood on your shirt!" The crowd screams. I say sweetly, "It's just tomato sauce!" "There's brain in your hands!" The crowd yells. I smile widely, "I'm just fixing it!" "There's flesh in your teeth!" The crowd points out. I respond, "I forgot to floss?" They point the shotgun Right between my eyes. I gulp. "WORKS FOR US!" They claim!

• Brains are delicious A true blue delicacy When in the Red States The best weapons hit Blades can stick in bones like glue Then you're out of luck They call us zombies We would rather be known as The living impaired

• ''ZOMBIE EMO'' I keep on eating, but I am still so hungry, What a cruel, sad curse

• Zombies everywhere Need more rounds for my shotgun Nevermind, I've been bit

• So misunderstood. Once we were your family, Now you won't feed us.

• What's that at the door?! Why'd you wish our son came back? Curse this monkeypaw!

• How'd they crawl back up? That's some straight-up Kill Bill shit. Zombies sure are strong.

• Just woke in my grave Can't chase brains like all my friends No Musculature

• Re: ZomBBQ / Flaming car grill provided / Please, bring your own brains.

• Brains are like taters They taste better when they're mashed Speaking of which, Braaaaaaaaains

• Zombies are scary but how could we do better? Undead gorillas.

• braaaaaainnnsssss.....

• You show no respect for my flesh-eating desires Therefore you are next.

• I eat the living and I stop to wonder why, They scream when they die.

• I has chainsaw pleeze? LOL cats hates zombees But likes to eats dem.

• Zombies do not like Silly poetry contests. Instead we eat brains. Mmmm, good food to eat Brains heart liver and more brains. And spleens for dessert.

• Zombies really suck With their nasty falling flesh. Chainsaws are my friends. and Zombies without brains Will become angry and starve. Eat yummy brains now.

• I am a Zombie I eat brains they are fatty Needs castusp on them

• Can't say what I think. Brains constantly in my thoughts. Give me your brains now! Brains are my life-blood. Nothing stops me from getting them except for lead.

• Zombies everywhere. Why am I in this big room? Fuck this, I'm leaving. Zombies can't hurt me, for my skin is made of steel. Oh shit they're Nazis! Bring it on zombies, Bruce Campbell is with me now! I'll swallow your soul.

• Eternally Dead Cursed to walk the earth alone Oh god the hunger Why do they hunt us All we want to do is live Shhh don't make a sound do you have good aim the only way they will die Shoot them in the head fuck all i can write are serious ones. I wont win unless im funny :(

• As we search for brains Plants are kicking our asses. Let's switch lawns, okay? I thought I had it; That kill was totally sweet. Old lady beat me. Woo, we killed them! Using acid was awesome Now, who's cleaning up?

• I revised the one I wrote earlier and came up with more: If we had hammers We'd hammer in the morning All over your skulls What will Pinky do? No plans for tomorrow night Zombies ate his Brain Break into a house Eat up all the squishy bits Brainstorming session Zombie invasion Thousands moseying our way Walk for your lives We escaped the house Where'd I leave my weapon, Steve? The kitchen, moron

• bit by a person suddenly not feeling so.... OM NOM OM NOM NOM

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