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I normally don't do this, but with the announcement that Universal won the rights to make a feature film based on the classic videogame Asteroids -- and by classic I mean impossibly shallow -- in a goddamn bidding war with three other studios (!), I'm just going to quote FilmDrunk, because he said it better than I could.
A F*CKING BIDDING WAR. For a movie based on three dots that shoot one dot at other small clusters of dots. If you can think of anything stupider than this... someone in Hollywood will pay you a lot of money. GREAT NEWS, EVERYONE, TOM CRUISE JUST SIGNED ON TO PLAY BLINKING LIGHT NUMBER FOUR! SOMEONE FINGER MY ASSHOLE SO I KNOW I'M NOT DREAMING!These are the end times, my friends. It's all downhill from here. By which I mean someone's eventually going to make a movie of Oink!.
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