I hope the digital effects look less fake and sped up on the big screen.

Lucky you..I'm french and I can confirm : the dialogues are stupid and no-fun.
"une armure.. à la Gi-Joe." in France, we often call military douchebags : GI Joe. So it sounds really dumb here.
"elle commence à m'énerver Poil de Carotte"...aaargh.
"Poil de.." is a really lame way to call a redhead..again, no fun.

An EARRING?!?!? Joes don't wear earings. Well, Shipwreck did, but come on, he's a sailor...

Great job of saving the innocent live of people caught in the crossfire, Joes!

Ah, Stormshadow's classic ninja assassin weapon of choice: the handgun. But I guess that's just one tiny element of suck in that whole trainwreck of a clip. At least Scarlet is wearing something that, at least in color, looks like her original outfit.

I second the effects comment...those looked pretty bad in some places.

Snake Eyes beating shooting the car's armor was pretty bad ass, as well as kicking the guy in the face while also fighting Storm Shadow. His mouth mold = not so bad ass.

On the bright side, Scarlett's outfit actually had some personality to it, although it reminded me very much of olf school Cover Girl's. And her blasting the guy's head was nuts.

I knew it was French going in, but still upon reading the beginning thought, "WTF movie was The Mommy?" Never fear, I figured it out in short order.

Okay: so they can dodge rockets but they're still not fast enough to catch up with a Hummer? They're not even faster than Snake Eyes, so why even use the suits? You already have a vehicle. Why get out of the van to chase someone one foot? Plus Snake Eyes is under the Hummer and Duke decides to shoot a missile at it? That's teamwork. And Snake Eyes: why not try and cut the fuel line or something while you're under there? I think all three of them got upstaged by Scarlett, which should never, ever happen.

*sigh* Of course Scarlett gets knocked out of the chase early on, and of course she gets saved by the handsome newcomer. Could they have telegraphed it any more obviously?

It didn't look all that bad, but certainly not great. I think my son will enjoy. And that's what this looks like, a movie for a 10 year old.

I think we should point out our favorite violations of the laws of physics. I didn’t know that if you are awesome you can make a motorcycle miraculously leap into the air 10 feet or that Hummers had extra dimensional space built into the rear doors. Very exciting! No wonder they were so popular.

It’s amazing to me that Jar-Jar Wayans is shuckin and jiving his way through the special forces. He should do a team up movie with the illiterate robots from Bayformers 2

The suits are even more annoying than I thought they would be- to the point that they might balance out any possible smidgen of win from any Snake Eyes related action.

I will be watching this with my 10 year old also, so at least he'll have fun with it, I have ZERO expectations out of this. :(

This is still so bad, I'm left speechless...

Is it wrong that while I don't like the accelerator (sic?) suits for GI JOE, I did like watching them zip around? I'd like it if it was some mini-mecha movie. And it gives me hope for a Flash (the DC hero) movie.

Having confessed that, there was a lot of ug. Snake Eyes having a little fake mask mouth just seems like a cruel joke. I didn't mind Stormshadow using a gun. My big thing is they take the 2 new guys and put them in the X million (billion?) dollar suits and send them off. Did they practice/ train at all? They don't have anyone better they Wayon Brother 5 on hand?

Thanks Paramount for ruining my day, mocking my youth and irritating my ulcer.

It is authentic to the comic book in that Snake Eyes makes all the other Joes look foolish.

And hey at least the music's good! Not!

Gotta love those accelerator suits ant their amazing ability to remove all tension from action scenes.

1) This is Team America taken seriously. I mean, the fucking mimes were not enough : they blew up the fucking Eiffel Tower. Which makes sense, since Team America was a bunch of toys, just what GI Joe was supposed to be originally.

2) The extra Baroness scenes are here because we Frenchies are all about the pussy. As opposed to being pussies as some might want you fine American folk to believe.

3) Did anyone check the homage to the old GI Joe dolls?

4) I wasn't aware that Adebisi from "Oz" was part of the cast. Now I want that Adebisi GI Joe doll, complete with velcro hair and sideways hat, walkman, hair fork and assrape special feature. Or "Dick-Fu Grip", whatever you wanna call it.

Well, the parts with Scarlett and Snake Eyes were cool. I just think the movie is cheating with the accelerator suits. It's GI Joe, there's no need to copy off of Iron Man.

But so, far they only appear in one scene (according to the trailers), so at least the movie doesn't hinge on them wearing it (I hope).

And what's the deal with Snake Eye's mask?

I don't know what you guys are complaining about... looks badass if you ask me... ok well except for the molded mouth on Snake-Eyes' mask, that's 100% homo.
Seriously though, I dig the look of the movie... it's GI Joe, not Saving Private Ryan. It's not supposed to look "real", it's based off a goofy cartoon.

Wow! This actually looks pretty awesome. Surprisingly. I gotta take it for what it is, and that's a stupid action movie. If they made it close to the original G.I. Joe, it would still be stupid as hell. I'll give it a shot!
But FUKK, I think I saw a mime in this footage. What is it with americans? Why does it always gotta be a fukking mime in france? First Transformers 2, now G.I. Joe? What's next? Snakes Eyes sits down after this and east a couple of escargots in his facemask? Hrmphf!

i need to go watch Resolute again to get the taste out of my mouth

Good?!? Really? You folks that like this ever watch Resolute? That's what this should be; a live-action Resolute, complete with Major Blood lying in a pool of his own (blood). Not some wasteful robot/explosion fest, and surely not with a Wayans anywhere near it. Little bits of my childhood die every time they release a movie based on a cool toy, and instead of it being as awesome as I imagined it in my nine-year-old head, it looks like a visualization of my nine-year-old self trying to describe it to an adult.

So, they made a live action version of that doll movie, 'Team America'?

Did anyone else hear Snake Eyes make an mmfff sound when he jumped on the roof of the hummer for the first time? why is Snake Eyes making a sound? he cant speak damn it!!

Um... anyone else notice that Scarlett totally just blue a guy's head off?

awful.

the. suits. are. bad. horrible. terrible. stupid.

why does Snake Eyes have a mouth on his mask?

why can Scarlett maneuver a bike like she is in the Matrix?

Wayans comedy is so not part of G.I. Joe.

Duke is a homo.

Guy from Lost looks cool.

Resolute = superior.

@baltar
so ray park can breathe.....because the mouth part has holes on it

i must admit the part where ripcord got ran over was pretty humerous

humorous..not humerous

Snake Eyes will no long be known as Snake Eyes. From now on he will be called Snake Lips!

So..it's Bay.I.Joe?

Wow. Just wow. In a matter of a few minutes this movie rips off about 10 different blockbuster franchises. It seems truly like folk just decided to throw in every element from any action movie that made money. I mean really, it's looks like fan made trailers, just a bunch of scenes from different flicks. You would have a hard time convincing me someone didn't just edit together scenes from other films and After Effects new faces on the bodies.

My god... I didn't see any good in that, except for the hotness of the chicks playing Scarlet and the Baroness... but hotness doesn't make quality.

This is shit. Fuck this shit.

The following pops into my head when I see this:
1) Did he say "medulla oblongata"?
2) Michael Bay must have been brought in as an advisor for how to do horrible action scenes that had absolutely nothing to do with the original series.
3) When will Mythbusters prove that the car flipper thing does not work?
4) Did he say "medulla oblongata"?

I loved G.I. Joe when I was a kid and this clip has just reinforced my ever burning desire to not see this movie cuz I know it's gonna suck horribly.

Ol' Scarlet is just grinnin' away like an idiot. I guess I would be too after seeing Snakeeyes run with a corncob logged in his sphincter.

the effects look bad, and also did Stephen Sommers plan this action scene with action figures? I'm sure it went like, "okay and then this guy flips over this car and then the hummer pops out these huge rockets okay?! and then pew,pew,pew, kabloooooooooosh" more like kadooouche! Stephen.
Is it just me or does Snake Eyes run a little weird?
I scoped out the IMDB trivia page and found some interesting tidbits (and by interesting I mean vomit inducing):

"The Delta-6 accelerator suits delighted Stuart Beattie and made him write up "a car chase where one guy's not even in a car!" However, they were bulky and heavy for the actors to wear and for any planned sequels their use will be reduced."

"A post-credits scene was planned where the famously mute ninja Snake-Eyes tells a joke to the G.I. Joe team, but Larry Hama advised against it since its humour would detract from the seriousness of the film."

"that's 100% homo"

So am I, so let me just say fuck you and your equating gayness with crapiness.

Meanwhile, on topic:

- I've said it before and I'll say it again, that is some piss-poor CGI right there.

- I don't give a damn about GI Joe so the "childhood rapiness" of it all doesn't affect me but this still looks like a crap film. Maybe worth a rental. Maybe something to watch when its shown on TV. Definitely not something to pay cinema prices for. Kids might like it, though.

- The Baroness looks like the most interesting character in the film. Is that a good thing, Joe fans?

- I know if I do see this, I'm going to be rooting for the bad guys. It's just that type of film.

If anything, the clip proofed that even the crappiest dialogue is kinda sexy in french...

I don't care you what you say about the suits...they're cool.

This looks awesome.

I really wish everyone would just stop acting like the comic book guy in the Simpsons and stop calling this the "worst episode ever"... Seriously, like you guys don't play retarded video games and have never watched even worst stuff and enjoyed it?? Remember, this is marketing, this is meant to revive a brand that is essentially aimed at children and has been doing so so dollar wise compared to the other Hasbro brands and licenses (Transformers and Star Wars namely). It maybe your childhood, but Hasbro is trying to revive the flame for a new generation, they already have you, they need to appeal to kids who don't like the same things you do. It was never meant to be Shakespeare back then, it's not meant to be Shakespeare today. You are all looking at this through your adult eyes... Put yourselves in the shoes of a kid who is eight years old in 2009 and your perspective will change a lot. I think they did an exceptional job overall considering the material they are working with.

The collateral damage and civilian body count in this clip is amazing. Wouldn't it have been safer to covertly track them, or notify French officials of an impending attack on the Eiffel tower by a small group of terrorists? The Team America comparison is quite correct.

I'm just saying, they're supposed to be an elite, highly-trained, technologically advanced team. Yet they pretty much destroy most of Paris to stop a single S.U.V.

Hey, Alex? We'll stop acting like Comic Book Guy when you stop giving shitty movies a free pass because you have criminally low expectations and standards of quality.

Deal?

Why does stormshadow wear a mask?