A Michael Bay movie
Starring:
Shia Labeouf as The Farmer
Morgan Freeman as The Narrator
Alan Rickman as The Giant Golden Goose
The Wayans Brothers as The Turkeys

coming summer 2011

I'd adapt the original Ninja Gaiden for the NES. The movie would star a miscast Ashton Kutcher (because all ninja protagonists in American movies are white for some reason) as Ryu.

About 30 minutes into the movie, Ryu would be jumping across a series of pits. At the last jump, a pigeon comes out of nowhere and flies smack into Ryu, who plummets to his death.

The camera then follows a screaming Ashton as he falls, cutting away right before the moment of impact.

Right before credits roll, "THE END (and you're welcome)" appears.

Lemmings the Movie

They started trying to get to their new come one room at a time, until they were turned into slaves to mine for the evil gerbil empire. Now five rebellious teen lemmings have had enough, meet Climber (Michael Anthony Hall) Floater (Jonathan Silverman) along with Basher, Miner and Builder (The Jonas Brother) get a little help from their grandfather Digger (Ernest Borgnine) as they learn how to defeat the evil General Fluffers (Tim Conway) to finally get them to the promesed land at the other sides of the cliffs.

This summer follow the herd to the theater and take a dive into fun.

Directed by Señor Spielbergo.

can put down Metal Gear solid just for the sake of pointing out how ridiculous the entire story is.

Blaster Master

A young high school boy is having the typical school trouble. He's constantly being harassed by bullies girls don't like him, and his teachers are over the top creeps. In order to cheer him up his parents buy him a pet frog. Late one night a meteor crashes into his backyard and the frog escapes down into the crater. The boy follows him and finds the SOPHIA Blaster Master Tank. It's an alien vessel that has a super hot computer chick giving commands and helps Jason in his journey to find his frog and save the world.

Uwe Bolle Presents Transformers 2:Rise of the Fallen:The Video Game:The Movie.
Nothing could be finer than a movie mad by a hack about a video game made in conjunction with a movie made by a guy who thinks explosions are the plot.

Peter Weller would voice Optimus Prime, Matt Damon would play the role of "the beef" and Britney Spears could take over Megan Fox role.

Damn you Matt for coming in with my first thought at an entry.

BUBBLE BOBBLE ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubble_Bobble )

Bub and Bob, teenage twins have crushes on some girl twins at high school. But their alcoholic dad makes them stay home to clean. As they clean, Bub wishes he could fly away in the soap bubbles. Outside a falling star happens to pass. The twins are transformed into dinosaurs with bubble guns and given the chance to escape their house and find their love. But first they'll have to fight all the evil creatures of the bubble dimension, lead by Super Drunk. Along the way, they find treasure and food, and escape undead whales before their rescuing their loves.

Q*Bert, starring Johnny Depp as Q*Bert, Billy Bob Thornton as Coily, Seth Rogen as Q's best friend T*Bag, and Megan Fox as Q's love interest Hosie. Imagine an epic adventure where the heroes would wear power suits to enhance their abilities, and Coily would have wrecking ball testicles...for the hell of it. It would be awesome.

Custer's Revenge.

A two hour, billion-dollar CGI recreation of pixel-on-pixel rape.

It's like a collaboration between the Dharma Initiative and Venture Industries; what could go wrong?

TAPPER: THE MOVIE

Alright now hear me out, we're going for a Cocktail vibe with this one. Shia LeBeuf's distant uncle dies and leaves him a run down road house with a single tap that is always insanely busy and the locals give him a hard time before a montage where he calls in come college buddies and some local quirky types and turns the place around and finds his groove behind the tap. We’ll throw in a old Tapper game in the background as a nod to the fans… It’s a license to print money baby!

Duck Hunt XTreme 2000.

The ducks are bloodsucking zombies, and all that stands between their hellish nightmare vision of humanity enslaved and turned into farm animals is one very badass, uh ... Dakota Fanning? Sure, Dakota Fanning.

Bonus: quote from Senator Londo Molari (I'm watching YOU, Hachiko):
But this…this, this, this is like… being nibbled to death by, uh…Pah! What are those Earth creatures called? Feathers, long bill, webbed feet…go "quack".
Vir Cotto: Cats.
Londo: Cats! I'm being nibbled to death by cats.

COMBAT: The Movie!

Just like in the classic Atari game, two blocky tanks fire cubes at each other as they slowly move around a desolate wasteland. Any sort of plot could be tacked onto this. Are they the last humans on earth fighting for survival? Do they represent two nations settling a war without killing thousands? Ah, the possibilities...

A Tim Burton production...directed by Henry Sellik...the ultimate in stop motion 3D...Q-Bert: The Movie! You will be amazed by the spectacle that is Coley the snake, quick and deadly (voiced by Susan Sarandon).Discover Ugg and Wrong Way, masters of the outside realm (voiced by Cheech and Chong).Be astounded by gremlin brothers Slick and Sam, confusing Q-Bert by changing his path as he goes along (voiced by Seth Rogan and Steve Carrel). And than there is our hero Q-bert (voiced by Mike Meyers using an indistinguishable accent), an innocent creature just trying to better the world one cube color at a time. The 3D will be amazing! It will look like Q-Bert is coming right at you when he jump to a flying disk to escape danger. And since the only swearing will be "@!#?@!?", we can expect a pg rating, bringing in the whole family. A perfect Christmas release!

(Arcade, 1982)

Galaga The Movie:
Soon after beginning his endless, lonesome journey through space, our hero encounters wave after wave of space bees and other space insectoids. Occasionally he comes across several of his cohorts who have been abducted by the insectoids and were thought to have died; he saves them and their ships join together becoming powerful Dual Fighters. Eventually he reaches the space nexus where all of the queen insectoids live and he destroys it saving both himself and the universe from their reign of terror

My pitch: "Five Days A Stranger, A Yahtzee Croshaw epic."
*Freeware, PC, on the AGS engine

This starts off in a strange noir setting. a modern version of the old-fashioned noir opening with the charming Trilby, The Gentleman Thief as the narrator, played to perfection by Hugh Laurie. We get to the house, and the real fun begins. The movie progresses the plot of the game, with some lampshade-hanging moments in which the adventure game aspects start to become visible to the characters, causing bewilderment. Finally we get to the part where we get to see the horrible creature we've concocted out of the bones of the abused boy in the basement, and...

It's voiced by all three Jonas Brothers in unison(to set up the overarching Defoe's body, defoe's soul, Defoe's spirit plot of the games), and they wisecrack their way around with the Machete, mask, and leather apron, spouting one-liners as they stagger about the manor. Trilby defeats it, and the ending sets up the next movies, not unlike the cult classic Kung Pow! Enter the Fist...

EPILOGUE!:
(ALSO KNOWN AS WHAT HAPPENS IF THE GUY PICKS UP THE PITCH!)

But with the problems of the Jonas fans scared away by the horrible, gruesome death, the Gorn fans turned off by the Jonas inclusion, and the regular Joe thinking it too much of a gorefest, the movie tanks, but the Telltale Games Sam and Max-esque remakes of the original 5 games(Trilby: The Art of Theft, 5 Days a Stranger, Trilby's Notes, 6 Days a Sarifice, and 7 Days a Skeptic) sell more than the movie, which later finds an audience on DVD/Bluray (believe it or not, those Jonases can really act creepy!) and about 5 years later, a sequel goes into production. The cycle repeats, with it gaining a few million more in box office, remaking Art of Theft as a Splinter Cell-esque stealther(again, to thunderous sales), and making the next three movies, ending with the prequel, Art of Theft starring mid-30s Frankie Muniz as Trilby, making over $300 million, and fulfilling fan dreams of the Chzo Mythos.

E.T The Movie, based on the game.

E.T is back, and this time it's the pits, watch for 3 hours as E.T falls into pits roots around in garbage and finds a chunk of a phone or some candy. And then watch him use his glow light to slowly float back out of the pit. But watch out a over excited sniped shoots E.T and you have to watch Elliot relight E.T's Lovelight with his own, finally when they finish merging to bring E.T back from the brink of death, you finally can call home. They rush to the ship.

Don't forget to wait till the end of the credits to see the camera pan out from a giant pile of garbage in a landfill, whats in the pile? The world may never know

Just take whatever generic action chase movie is rolling down the pipeline and change the name to PONG.

All Done. Where's my ten million?

Tetris.

Rachel Nichols as the tiny handheld game given as a poorly selected Secret Santa gift to Vin Diesel. Vin pushes her buttons but seldomly, preferring more physical pursuits.

Under appreciated, the game gets depressed, actually looking forward to her automatic shutdown.

Then Vin's equally physical new girlfriend, Tricia Helfer, breaks her leg on a ski slope and is bedridden. A guilty Vin hands over his handheld, Rachel.
WIth nothing else to do, Tricia plays the game about 18 hours a day. The two bond and Tricia becomes a Tetris Shark.

Pongi was the littlest block in class. All the other, bigger blocks taunted him constantly.

"You'll never amount to anything!" they teased. "You're not a rectangle! You're just a square! A useless square!"

Until one day, Pongi found performance-enhancing "power-ups". Now Pongi is taking back the PONG field with a vengeance... but at a price. While his addiction to power ups is making him bigger and faster, it's tearing his pixels apart from the inside. Now, the people who he thought were his enemies are the only ones who can bring Pongi back to sanity. Proving that friendship (No matter how plot-driven), really is the best "power-up".

But can Pongi win the championship without his beloved power-ups?

Find out this summer in:

PONG!! The Return... and Then Returned Again

A young man (played by Zac Efron, because he's so dreamy) awakes one morning to discover he has control over the earth-- he can form small hills, multi-tiered hills, fashion little dips, and turn solid ground into muddy pools. He quickly realizes his newfound abilities can be merged with his life's passion, riding dirt bikes.

Like Kevin Costner in Field of Dreams, Efron slowly, meticulously builds his own dirt bike course. After many trials and errors, Zac is satisfied and begins riding around on the track alone. Doing flips, pulling wheelies, slowing down over those muddy pools. And then his father's ghost shows up and they ride around the track together. It's... Excite Bike: The Movie!

I have this great idea for a movie. It takes place in the desolate Frozen North at the top of the world. A sadistic man, in a fur lined, red leisure suit rains fear upon the locals.

10 at a time he kidnaps the elven population. Sparing them no mercy, he lines them up and throws 16 pound balls at them in some strange stoning ritual.

Some of the elves resist, but in the end they fall lifeless to the cold ground. Unable to go on they are swept aside and the killer wanders into the night to round up his next ten victims.

Now, I don't doubt the success of this movie, but my only requirement to sell this script to you is that Uwe Boll is the director.

Sinistar:

A lone space mining ship (captained by Brendan Fraser) has to fight off the evil forces of a giant floating head in space before it destroys everything with its incessant screaming.

Pac-man the movie.
The movie begins with Pac-man (played by Vin Diesel) as an alcaholic has-been, who has pushed everyone who cares about him away. But when loan-sharks looking for money he borrowed during his hey-day as a professional wrestler come knocking, he finds he must take up his golden belt from his wrestling days, the Pac Dot, and take on evil. Along the way he discovers an evil conspiacy involving a biotech firm called GHOST who are seeking the secret to immortality (which just may have something to do with the Pac Dot), reconnects with his estranged wife, and learns the power of friendship.

Tetris(NES)

Young Russian immigrant Alex is new to America and doesn't have any friends. He spends of all of his time arranging things in a bizarrely efficient manner. His mother thinks its a gift, his father thinks its a curse. When a young bully challenges Alex to a block stacking competition, and accidentally sets a series of events in motion that triggers the return of the Cold War, its Alex's strange abilities that may be humanities only hope of staving off global warfare. Alex's parents, whom amidst the chaos must answer for their sons mysterious origins, are forced to choose between their own lives and their son.

Ron Howard is attached to Direct.

Nicolas Cage plays a mathematics professor who specializes in spotting "Euclidean patterns" in chaotic spaces (A theoretical practice invented entirely for the sake of the movie). His mission: stopping an international terrorist hell-bent on destroying all of the world's greatest landmarks. How? By following the clues said terrorist leaves embedded...in games of Tetris.

His goals are simple. Flip the blocks, save his failing marriage, and maybe...save the world. Nicolas Cage is the Tetris Master.

Godamn, Dr. Communism posted another Tetris entry just as I was typing up mine. Damn youse, Doc Comm!

The goverment has been doing a new serum that would give the average human superhuman attributes, but tests have went catastrothic, and they put it away in the vaults, never to be discovered.

Until now.

A mad scientest, a former head of the project, has stolen the serum and kidnapped three citizens to conduct the first human experiment, with results. Big, and monsterous results. Now, It's up to a former goverment agent who was also related to the project, to lead the industrial powers that be to stop the three newborn monsters from infecting other humans, and detroying the planet...and beyond.

Next Summer, Get Ready To Go On a RAMPAGE.

Witness, the worst video game movie ever. Based on the infamous freeware game "I Want To Be The Guy" comes...

I WANT TO BE THE GUY: THE MOVIE

Starring Shia LaBeouf as The Kid, he embarks on a quest to become The Guy, but many perilous traps stand in his way. The movie is three hours of him dying and respawning, in that time advancing only about half a level. At the end, we zoom out to The Beef at his computer, saying "Fuck this, I'm going to play Halo!" as we fade to black.

Odyssey, the movie

the film beings as two cemen-covered sausages of different size are floating through space, they soon find themselves as multi-sport stars, as well as paranormal invesegators. Things take a turn for the worse in a vicious game of simon says, and the larger of the two go on a cross country search for his former friend. The film reches its climax in a thrilling naval battle fought with their own cemanisausagian offspring.

Title: Dig Dug
Tagline: "Can you dig it?" or "Get ready for tunnel vision"
Little blurb under the credits on the poster: "Breaking Ground This May"

In the year 2550, mankind has retreated underground due to the complete depletion of the ozone layer. It's a meager existence, with shortages of everything and very little hope for the future. Among the most revered members of the new society are the Diggers, i.e. men who risk life and limb to comb the walls of their underground prison, searching for vital elements that may sustain life. Diggers don't live long, due to potential cave ins, lack of air and other dangers. Additionally there's another threat that only top level officials know about; monsters that live in the dirt who are slowly burrowing their way towards the giant city that now holds the last remnants of humanity. The monsters can shoot fire and travel through solid earth and stone, making them dangerous opponents indeed. Corrupt officials have covered up the existence of the monsters, but new intelligence shows that they're burrowing their way towards the last remaining citadel of humanity. When they reach it- game over. The only choice is to send in a team of highly skilled diggers, to find the nest where the monsters breed and destroy it. The man chosen to lead the expedition is Logan "Dig" Dugg, a disgraced ex digger who was wrongfully fired by his corrupt boss after he tried to go public about the existence of the monsters. Dugg is one of the few men to fight a monster and live and since this is a suicide mission anyhow- he's the most logical choice. Dugg rounds up a rag tag group of Diggers which include a comical coward, a seemingly traitorous guy who winds up being good, a seemingly nice guy who winds up being a traitor, a rookie fresh out of Digger school and a mind-bogglingly beautiful 20 year old kick ass girl scientist who wears glasses (so we know she's smart) and who can hold her own against any man (or monster). There may also be a "funny" nerdy guy who's a genius with technology but who has no social skills and who eats junk food all the time. Together this rough and tumble group sets out to save humanity, along the way uncovering a hidden plot by crooked officials to keep humans underground, when in fact the surface of the planet has been habitable for the last 100 years. At the end of the film the monsters are vanquished and humanity returns to the surface, where they vow never again to risk harming their world through selfish neglect. Logan Dugg dies a hero in his final battle with the head monster, but the statue erected of him reminds the world that Dig Dugg lives on, inside each and every one of us.

Donkey Kong, the movie:
Title: "Monkey See, Monkey Do, the Donkey Kong Story."

Donkey Kong is our tough man private detective, he's a hard hitting, hard drinking man about town with a soft spot for his .38 mango shooter. Enter in the new kid, Diddy, a fresh faced monkey who's looking to learn the biz. Diddy is a little too peanut gun happy for Donkey's taste, but he figures Diddy has a chip on his shoulder growing up without a father figure. Diddy has a fierce loyalty to his prostitute sister, Dixie, a floozy with a heart of gold, who just may be the one person to crack Donkey's tough exterior. When an old nemesis is killed and Donkey is framed, Donkey uses all of his monkey strength to escape the cops and find the real killer, before the killer kills him.

Starring:
Robert De Niro as Donkey Kong
Ben Affleck as Diddy
and Chloe Sevigny as Dixie

in this Monkey Noir that's sure to please.

Bayou Billy (for the NES)

Starring Matthew McConaughey.

It's like Indiana Jones meets Deliverance.

And just to prove how faithful he can be to source material, director Zack Snyder has Bayou Billy fight using nothing but dropkicks for two hours and 45 minutes straight (a lot of which is in slow motion) against villianous thugs who are all CG copies of the same guy so they look exactly the same except some are in a red outfit and some are in blue.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vENXnbybWjI

Battletoads. Does anyone even *remember* what that game was about, other than beating on mutated animals and running space-jetskis into blinking walls that suddenly appeared? You could literally make the movie about *anything* and people would show up, so long as you included the jetski level. So here's a try:

Two human/toad hybrids race against time on a hell-blasted landscape of an alien world to stop the Dark Empress (or whatever-the-fuck-her-name-was) from terraforming their entire home planet for her own nefarious, obviously anti-environmental uses. An S&M resort, if you wanna get kinky with it. You model the jetski sequence after the speeder bike sequence from Jedi, add long slow-mo jumps and someone screaming "NOooooooooooo!" once or twice, and you have a movie. Cast Megan Fox as the Dark Empress, and Michael Bay will direct it for 50 Million, get it out by next summer.

No idea if that was 100 words, but it's good.

The Green Empire and the Red Republic is in a prolonged conflict were gas is scarce and ammunition plenty, two lonely tanks tries to hit each other in a rugged windy landscape named - Grand Canyon.
Jürgen Prochnow as "Der Grüne" Scarlett Johansson as Red Tank-commander in a battle of math, ballistics, isolation and despair - adapted from the Tony-winning play based on the beloved game.
Boom
The Mother of All Movies
Boom
Michael Bays psychological triller
Boom
"SCORCHED EARTH"
Boom Boom Boom
The wind is changing

The Pitch:

Skeet Ulrich (since i'm sure we couldn't afford the REAL Johnny Depp) has always maintained his wife's flower garden since her untimely death. And now, it's the only thing keeping HIM alive.

The entire neighborhood has been killed by zombies except for Ulrich and his two kids play by... um... i don't know...

how 'bout Dakota Fanning and... is there a Culkin still running around?

Plants VS Zombies: The Movie.

Featuring Jamie Kennedy as the zombie with butter on his head.

"There's a zombie on YOUR lawn!"

Crap, I totally missed the part about the 100 word limit. I guess I blew my chance at winning. Oh well, it was fun to write anyhow. Sorry about that, folks...

Allow me to present mine as a trailer. Roll it!

*Screen goes dark, cue a Don LaFontaine soundalike narrator*

NARRATOR: In a world tied down by the tyranny of ropes...

*Shots of ropes mildly inconveniencing people*

NARRATOR: One man fights back, the only way he knows how...

*Shot of a match being struck; racing flames, explosions, rock music*

NARRATOR: When you are in danger...

*Motorcycle chase; ropes snapping; massive fireball; woman undressing*

NARRATOR: When there's no one else to call...

*Woman looks down, sees screaming; A man in a black leather jacket swoops into frame and carries her away*

NARRATOR: Burnie McBurnstein will be there...

*Corrupt CEO slams hand on desk*
CEO: *bellowing* BURNSTEEIIIIIIIIIIIIN!

*Car drives toward camera, tires screech*

NARRATOR: ... to heat things up.

BURNSTEIN'S VOICE: *growling* Looks like you have money to burn.

*CEO tossed out the window of a skyscraper, screaming horrifically; cut to close up of star*

NARRATOR: Based on the hit Flash game! Keanu Reeves in... YOU HAVE TO BURN THE ROPE.

*Terrific explosion, ropes snapping*

BURNSTEIN: *smirking* That's hot.

*The movie's logo appears onscreen in flaming letters, followed by the tagline: "BURN, BABY BURN", followed by the release date*

Tetris seems to be a popular choice for a subject so far.

ARKANOID:
The last remnants of humanity flee the solar system in a great space ark. Pursued by the vile Venthrilians, the only chance of survival is for the ark to deploy its arkanoids using their omega spheres to repel the Venthrilian ships and destroy the obstacles constructed to slow the ark down.

In world gone mad...

Death creeps around every corner...

Storms rage, wild animals roam the streets, out for blood...

One man stands between order and chaos...

And only that man can deliver the news...

Jason Statham is... THE PAPERBOY!

Tetris. And I made a trailer for it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VE_1KlWFJyA

Did I win?

Dig Dug: The Motion Picture
A retired bicycle racer, Dug Driller, finds his backyard tomato garden invested with animated, goggle-wearing tomato Gremlins called Pookas. His investigation takes him strange underground world of dragon-like Fygars. Armed only with an old rototiller and his trusty tire pump, Dug and his estranged son come closer together while rescuing their bumbling neighbor Mr. Do, but not before the entire neighborhood caves in spectacularly from all of the tunnels. Final line that leaves us open for a sequel/spin-off: "Son, maybe I should be calling YOU Mr. Driller."

NBA Jam The Movie

In the fast paced world of underground basketball the NBA's top players engage in 2 on 2 matches where the stakes are high and the glory is higher. Thanks to scientific advances such as sonic barriers to keep the ball from going out of bounds, glowing turbo shoes, and flamable basketballs. But when a shadowy organization known only as NBA Hangtime steals their equipment it's up to the Jam crew to get it back in crazy basketball fashion.

Featuring a cameo by Bill Clinton.

Wait... it wasn't supposed to have a plot? BELGUM! SMEGGING BELGUM! GORRAM SMEGGING MOTHERFRAKKING BELGIUM! RAPE ME UP THE ASS WITH A CATTLE PROD AND CALL ME MARY SUE, THE MAYOR OF BLOWJB TOWN! FRAK THE SMEG OUT OF THAT GORRAM SMRGGING BELGIUM-SMEGGING MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUU-
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCK-
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR!

GORRAM, THAT WAS CATHARTIC!

wait..
ONLY 100 WORDS! SHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-

Michael Jackson's Moonwalker

Bubbles the the chimp has been abducted by Captain Hook (who else?) and taken to a land where time hurdles forward a decade every hour leaving young bubbles just 5 hours to live.

So its up to Micheal, Blanket, and UFC hall of famer Dan Severn to get bubbles back before its too late.

(In this movie they use Micheal's completion as a indicator of how much time is left. Magnolia means its too late.)

The movie ends with a decayed bleach white Micheal making the ultimate sacrifice for the one he loves.

Its only a movie. the real Micheal's fine.

A boyhood accident. An open oil drum, a tense surgery, an unlikely father figure in the Bearded Lady. Growing up, there was always a fire in his belly. A fire of righteousness, blazing bright now that he's the greatest circus performer in the land. And when supernatural forces arise to subjugate a small peasant settlement, he strikes back... in soft, pointy shoes.

Bob Hoskins is

KARNOV.

All alone, I feel the laser gun in my hand... I can see them coming from all places, they are approaching me, slowly but surely, shooting at me, these damn robots all neon like (see the bjork reference there for soundtrack?), if only I could escape...but I cannot see a damn thing, everything is pitch black, just those neon exoskeletons following me... I must... AAAAAARRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Falls flat on the floor, charred... To the bone.
Was it all a dream?
All alone, I feel the laser gun...

dig dug: the movie actually sounds pretty cool

Ok, ok, how's this?

Vin Diesel. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

Join forces for the first time to fend off an evil alien empire.

Diesel/The Rock

Cho Aniki: The Movie

Directed by Joel Schumacher

International Karate +, from the commodore.

A young man named Joe enters a martial arts tournament. Everything works out fine and he gets to the final, but there he is to find his life's suprise - the other finalists he is supposed to meet are not one but two identical clones of himself!

Joe must not only win the tournament but also solve the greatest mystery of them all as this fast paced movie constantly shifts between two fisted action and mystery solving through underground cloning facilities.

Do you dare to get the answer to the ULTIMATE QUESTION?
Is Joe the real one?
And even if he isn't, is he the one destinied to become the champion of international karateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... plus?

Ops. Forgot to write my name for the entry for International Karate +.

It was meeeeeeeeeee!

TARG
An Exidy Production

In A World Where Freedom Is Forbidden...

Mankind has been confined by an oppressive alien regime, trapped in the penitentiary blocks of Crystal City, patrolled by dreaded RamShips...

Vin Diesel is Captain Ace Wummel..
Pilot of an untested prototype fighter..
Humanity's Last Hope...

Captain Wummel will brave the deadly grids of Crystal City...

Failure is Not An Option.

Michael Bay's "Bomberman"

A man makes bombs in a factory, but he hates his job. He's heard a rumor that if someone can escape the factory, they'll get their wish. His is to make the biggest explosion ever, so he steals bombs in order to make his escape. Lots of explosions. Also, inexplicably, boobs.

This would get made, and, sadly, would make millions.

Gyromite

Action/comedy/romance/horror

Plot: Professor Hector (Vin Disel in an old-man wig) has become trapped inside a complex filled with scientific horrors, along with Professor Vector (Attractive Starlet Who is Willing to Get Naked). Their only link to the outside world is ROB (CGI/puppetry, voiced by Paul Reubens) who must help them navigate their way out of the complex, and into each others hearts.

Bonus: If the film does well, you can follow it up with Stack-Up.

Kid Icarus: the movie...

find three treasures, rescue Palutena, defeat Medusa. there you go; plot, dialogue, and music are all already there for the movie. just play the video game; beat it(uhh, the videogame, that is.); and you're ready to start filming.

Palutena, godess of light, played by Moon Bloodgood
Medusa, goddess of darkness, played by Kirstie Alley.

They lived in the same world for years. But now, only one will conquer.

SOLITAIRE VS. MINESWEEPER!

Based on the OS games no one has ever bothered to finish. Co-directed by Rob Cohen and a half retarded orangutan. Written by Christopher and Jonathan Nolan.

COMING THIS SUMMER. It's only a game...right?

Pong: the Movie

In a world where two sides are constantly at war, they finally decided to end it all in one big battle. Using a gigantic rectangle the east side tries to destroy the west side with a gigantic bomb that looks like a square. However, the west side has retaliated with a gigantic rectangle of their own. The result of which causes the square bomb to bounce off to the east side and vice versa. Now the two sides are constantly bouncing the square at each other. WHO WILL WIN?!

Distressingly, RexSplode, you appear to have found the one movie Michael Bay could do a better job of making than anyone else in the world. It would be his magnum opus... But sadly, I'm afraid he, himself, would explode, from the sheer force with which he came in his pants.

Someone must forward this idea to him...

Atari : Combat...
Two men
Two tanks
This time it's personal

In a world where professional sports have been outlawed, one man will dare to rise up and fight his oppressors. With the help of his son, borne out of a catastrophic tragedy, an aging warrior, the victim of a radical transplant procedure, and a cyborg, only they have what it takes to bring light to the darkness.

Morgan Freeman stars as Charles Barkley in...SPACE JAM II: BARKLEY SHUT UP AND JAM.

---

Experience the joys, sorrows, tragedies and inspirations of a society trying to survive in a vast wasteland of nothingness. Empires will fall, buildings will be created (at the click of a mouse), disaster will strike, and hope will prevail.

Michael Bay's SIMCITY 2000: SPECIAL EDITION.

Brickbreaker tells the compelling story of a boy who tries to break through all the barriers that society places in front of him. These barriers come in all sorts or shapes and strengths, like racism, peer pressure, and things you have to hit like 5 or 6 times. But just as he gets started, the barriers get mad and start advancing towards him!
Spoiler!!! The young boy finally crosses through the barriers to the other side only to learn that his mission still isn't over as long as some barriers still exist for other innocent children. Will the barriers ultimately break the young lad, or will he finally knock down all those bricks in the wall?
BRICKBREAKER!

Trog!: The Movie, directed by Quentin Tarantino.

Four CGI dinosaurs, Rex, Spike, Bloop, and Gwen, voiced by Keith Carradine, Christopher Walken, Michael Madsen, and Helena Bonham Carter, go on a genocidal rampage, attempting to wipe out the population of troglodytes invading their once-species-pure island. Rated R for graphic scenes of baby-eating, entrail-ripping, and a scene featuring a one-eyed Trog in a gimp suit.

Researchers from CERN have done the impossible and created a device derived from corn that generates endless energy via subatomic reactions. The result is the Perpetual Organic Nuclear Generator. However, due to sabotage from ninja terrorists, the machine has a flaw: unless it stays moving, it will self destruction. Two scientists, Peter O'Neil and Patrick Toole, are left with the task of keeping the device in constant motion by bouncing the small ball of doom between them. However, they are both in love with the same woman, Heather Storey, and a mishap by one could lead to the death of his rival. Will the two keep each other alive by bouncing the machine between each other? Or will one try to force his opponent in love to miss the ball? Find out in... P.O.N.G.!

JOUST
A lone egg sits atop a ledge of volcanic stone. Slowly, it begins to pulsate and it's outer shell begins to crack and dissolve. A warrior clad all in white emerges from the glowing debris, and shouts a mighty battle cry, as a giant vulture swoops from the heavens to fulfill it's duty as the warrior's evil steed. Suddenly, the sky cracks and the talons of a heroic ostrich tear into the vulture like a razor, and with swift justice, our hero thrusts his spear clean through the white warriors chest. And yet from a mechanical door in the earth, a new challenger emerges......

Just so you know, I'd come in here and kick ass if I hadn't broken my wrist yesterday.

Turn the original Mega Man into a pro-American summer action flick.
Sergeant Rockman’s (Mark Wahlberg if available) unit fights valiantly in the streets of Bagdad until he is taken out by an RPG saving some Iraqi children. Fortunately the US’s Dr. Light can rebuild him, as a “Mega Man” to take out terrorism. Which is good because the “Axis of Evil” have revealed their own “masters.” Kim Jong Ill becomes Bomb Man in his quest for nuclear power, in order to further repress his own people Mahmoud Ahmadinejad becomes Fire Man, Osama Bin Laden reappears as Guts Man (minus the dialysis machine), Vladimir Putin proves Russia’s might as Ice Man, and because the country’s poor as hell Cuba’s Fidel Castro is turned into the metal throwing Cut Man.
Rockman the “Mega” Man now has to battle across the continents in order to protect American interests while taking out evil with the help of a robotic Megan Fox, code named Roll. As they battle Rockman is torn between who he was and who he is, but through the comfort of Roll he finds his new role, a hero who will stop at nothing to take out the villainous Dr. Wily, who is really Robert Mugabe seeking to be president of the world. The twists continue as it isn’t really Wily who’s in charge, but it’s secretly Canada, the only remotely prosperous country connected to England, and France working in tandem seeking revenge against America for the Revolutionary War, and they will stop at nothing to remove us from the map. Only after receiving a vision from Christ himself after being rendered comatose by the now defunct Sarah Palin, as the “yellow monster,” does our hero put the pieces together and remove tyranny once and for all.
Directed by Mel Gibson, he says the sequel will feature the reanimated corpse of Hitler as Proto Man.

Turn the original Mega Man into a pro-American summer action flick.
Sergeant Rockman’s (Mark Wahlberg if available) unit fights valiantly in the streets of Bagdad until he is taken out by an RPG saving some Iraqi children. Fortunately the US’s Dr. Light can rebuild him, as a “Mega Man” to take out terrorism. Which is good because the “Axis of Evil” have revealed their own “masters.” Kim Jong Ill becomes Bomb Man in his quest for nuclear power, in order to further repress his own people Mahmoud Ahmadinejad becomes Fire Man, Osama Bin Laden reappears as Guts Man (minus the dialysis machine), Vladimir Putin proves Russia’s might as Ice Man, and because the country’s poor as hell Cuba’s Fidel Castro is turned into the metal throwing Cut Man.
Rockman the “Mega” Man now has to battle across the continents in order to protect American interests while taking out evil with the help of a robotic Megan Fox, code named Roll. As they battle Rockman is torn between who he was and who he is, but through the comfort of Roll he finds his new role, a hero who will stop at nothing to take out the villainous Dr. Wily, who is really Robert Mugabe seeking to be president of the world. The twists continue as it isn’t really Wily who’s in charge, but it’s secretly Canada, the only remotely prosperous country connected to England, and France working in tandem seeking revenge against America for the Revolutionary War, and they will stop at nothing to remove us from the map. Only after receiving a vision from Christ himself after being rendered comatose by the now defunct Sarah Palin, as the “yellow monster,” does our hero put the pieces together and remove tyranny once and for all.
Directed by Mel Gibson, he says the sequel will feature the reanimated corpse of Hitler as Proto Man.

Combine the action of "24" with the characters of Pokemon.
Ash Ketchum is a member of the Pallet Town Counter-Terrorist Unit, and is engaged in a standoff with terrorist cell Team Rocket.

With Professor Oak as the director of operations, Misty running tactical at headquarters, and Ash, Brock, and their Pokemon as field agents. Jesse and James as extremist leaders threatening to wipe out a chunk of the citizen population if their demands are not met.

I hearby submit my ten-minute audio entry to this competition here:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=IW3L9EFV

And tell me you wouldn't go see this movie. Twice.

And hereby I mistyped as hearby. My bad.

Cast my vote for Michael Bay's Bomberman...that just makes so much sense.

PROJECT: Asteroids II - Escape Velocity
DIRECTOR: Ridley Scott
STARRING: Matthew Lillard, John Travolta, Carrie-Anne Moss
& Clive Owen
GENRE: Science Fiction / Action / Adventure
STUDIO: Revolution Studios
RELEASE Summer 2012
DATE:

PREMISE: Six months following the accidental implosion of
the Tygrus asteroid mineing colony Captain Boday
is once again approached to assist in the
transportation of a tritanium rich asteroid field.
But this time he has to help cordinate a fleet of
one hundred ships towing the asteroid field to
another galaxy but there is a catch, his ship is
has to remain in the middle of the field in order
to keep the field stable during transport and
while the mission goes well initially the fleet
is attacked by Space Invaders. With most of the
fleet destroyed or disabled it is once again up
to Captain Boday to complete the mission or kill
every one and everything trying.

Smash TV: The Movie

Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor direct Jason Statham and Clive Owen in Smash TV. In the twisted and desensitized futuristic world of 1999, Statham and Owen are two down on their luck middle-management types. However, when they're both downsized from their employer, they decide that to provide for their families, they must slaughter people on television with the military skills both promised they would never again rely on. They apply for the gameshow called Smash TV, a program that pits two combatants against armies of robots and mutants, arms them with high-powered firearms, and rewards them with money, cars and George Foreman Grills. However, after managing to fend for themselves and win big money, the two soon realize that the host, played by Joe Pantoliano, doesn't intend for either to come to the end of the show alive. Cue Statham and Owen's collective English badassery, with Statham strangling people with his sleeves and Owen pulling off miracle gunshots.

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA

Link has a crush on Zelda, his high school classmate. Hes shy, but then an alien invasion happens. The earth military is overwhelmed, but Link wants to save Zelda, so he goes out during an attack for some reason (He has a psychic link with her). An old man known as The Guru (who wears red) grabs him and saves his life, explaining "It's dangerous to go alone, take this" and gives him a sword...

Ganondorf - Ron Perlman, sans makeup
Zelda - Megan Fox
Link - Michael Cera, in a breakout role
The President - Ernie Hudson
Military Chief - John Turturro
Voice of the triforce crystal - Mark Hamil

It's sorta charming when people miss the gist of the contest but still will likely win anyways...

coming to theatres in summer 2012 frogger the movie in 3d directed by Michel bay. starring Aston Kutcher as Froger and joining him is Owen Wilson as the head aligator who wants to make sure froger does not reach his destination and Paris hilton as froger love interest and lead truck driver gunning for froger also.

1) A space fighter dispatched to save something from something else is traveling in a hyperspace tunnel when it is attacked by variety of alien enemies. The fighter is really nimble and has some awesome weapons, so it blows the crap out of them to escape their onslaught.
2) Then there’s a break where there can be some story and stuff to develop some things.
3) The aliens attack again, only they are faster and there are more of them.
4) If not yet 90 minutes, goto 2. Else shoot climax for IMAX in first person (bonus: audience mindwipe).
5) ?????
6) PROFIT!

TEMPEST! FUCK YEAH!

Until I can come up with my own idea, I'm totally behind Dillon.

Yeah, I know. That was fast.

In the future, overpopulation is out of control. Death squads roam the land, rounding up the excesses and arranging them for execution...by rows and color.

A ball of fate...a paddle of destiny.

Winter 2010, get ready to...Breakout!

He was a racer at the top of his game.

One day on the track, i terrible 3 inch fall crumbles him, and his dreams.

Now Slammer Marblteen must rebuild his career from the ground up.

He will soon realize that this is more then a race, THIS IS MADNESS.

Marble Madness (NES)

2010

Coming this winter from a Walt Disney production a low rated tool show has bin entrusted with a set of magical tool that have the ability to repair a world left in ruin from mummies, zombie, and Dinosaur.
But just as everyone though thing would change the tools are stolen right from under their noses

Mr. Binford: where are the tools! Someone stole the tools!
AL: don’t worry sir we'll get the tools back no matter what. Right Tim seeing how this is probably your fault anyway.

AARRGGHH!!!
Tim Allen as Tim "The Toolman" Taylor
Patricia Richardson as Jill Taylor
Zachary Ty Bryan as brad Taylor
Jonathan Taylor Thomas as randy Taylor
Taran Noah Smith as mark Taylor
Earl Hindman as Wilson
Richard Karn as Al Borland
Special guest stars
Arnold Schwarzenegger as the voice of the magical chainsaw
"This is shocking fight"!
Bruce Willis as the voice of the magical blowtorch
"Let’s turn up the heat"! And
Jim Carrey as the voice of the magical nail gun
"That’s gata hurt".

Home Improvement: Power Tool Pursuit
The Game, the Movie, the Legend

Tim: Don’t worry all this world needs is MORE POWER!!!! ARGH!! ARGH!!ARGH!!

Okay, sir, take a long drag from the line you cut right there, sit back, and let me wow you.

Let me start by saying three words: 1) Michael 2) Bay 3) Explosions

An arsonist and explosives expert sent to jail on trumped-up charges has recently broken out after making a bomb out of toothpicks and gasoline. He is hellbent on getting revenge on the men who put him away. The judge who put him away is the first to go, taken out as a bomb is dropped from high up, as if God himself demanded his death. He then goes after his former SWAT team members. As the bombs rain down and take out more of their colleagues, his former partners must get inside the maniac's head before they, and the entire city, go...

KA-BOOM!

Starring Josh Duhamel as Rick "ROLL" Spikowski, Megan Fox as Sierra "BOOM BOOM" Contessa, Nasir "Nas" Jones as Gerald "SMOKE" Tokenski, Gary Oldman as The Commissioner, and Jackie Earl Haley as KA-BOOM!- The Mad Bomber!

KA-BOOM! A Michael Bay Film - Exploding on a Screen Near You!

IN A WORLD BESEIGED BY METEORS.....

WHEN NO OTHER WEAPON WILL DO....

ONLY ONE MAN HAS THE RIGHT TOOL FOR THE JOB....

THIS SUMMER...HE'S GONNA GET HIS ROCKS OFF!!

PICKAXE PETE....THE MOVIE....FROM THE ODYSSEY 2 TO THE BIG SCREEN,SUMMER OF 2012!!!

Delroy Lindo, Christopher Lambert, Tea Leoni - in a John Woo film:

Worms: Armageddon

When NYPD Detective Lance McDaniels is called on to investigate the aftermath of a fire fight, the alert sounded like just another slice of gang related violence pie. But this was a fire fight gone horribly wrong. A shipment of military grade weapons, 70 million in diamonds, and a container truck full of sheep; the crime which threatens two great families. A story in real time, the pivotal 90 minutes that changed the face of crime in New York for a generation.

Worms: Armageddon
Starring:
Christopher Lambert - Lance McDaniel
Delroy Lindo - Montezuma Black
Tea Leoni - Tuesday Burgess

Also Starring:
Reginald Veljohnson and Jaleel White as the Urbyn Wyrms.

And Sammo Hung as The Concrete Donkey

In the year 3021, a plague is unleashed upon earth. Millions die, but one man stands. This man, must take on...

CENTIPEDES!!!

When the virus infects bugs to giant proportions, former Marine Chuck Kilten has nothing but his wits and an RPG. The empty damage left on Earth is his only protection. He fights his way to where his home once was, to only find his family dead. He questions what life is worth, and decides, nothing. But when about to take his own life, he finds something. A colony of survivors. When he joins them, they fight they're way through America to find other survivors. But one night in his sleep, the bugs get to the rest, but take him capture. The others die, but he is taken to the bug leader, a Millipede. He can not tell why they brought him. Then it all comes to him, he starts growing, his size is incredible, then he knows why the bugs never killed him. When he though he was immune to the human plague, he was actually a one in a million chance of building anti-bodies that could fight the bug virus and had his D.N.A. sub-sequentially reformed, or reshaped with the bugs. HE is a bug. HE is...

CENTIPEDE!!!

SO many people are afraid of bugs that this would be an exciting action thriller, drawing crowds in the masses.

Bubbles: The Movie

PIXAR’s latest is the tale of the little bubble who could. A coming of age tale as we watch our hero, Suds, prove that he has what it takes to be the best sink cleaner around despite what the bigger bubbles all said. You’ll be thrilled as he narrowly escapes being sucked up by the evil Sponge. Hold on to your seat for the climatic battle scene as Suds takes on the giant Roach before teleporting down the drain and back to his loving family. Strong possibility of product tie-in with Scrubbing Bubbles. In 3-D.

Witness an epic love story set in one of the most tumultuous eras of American history. Witness two lovers who couldn't be separated by racial differences, language barriers, and even a war between their own people. Witness a man so impassioned that he would crawl across a bloody, chaotic battlefield to reach the woman he loves.

Witness the power, glory, and tragedy that is...Custer's Revenge.

(Well, it was this or my Battle of Algiers sequel, Revolution in the Mushroom Kingdom.)

"Game & Watch The Movie: Octopus!"

Three brave divers (Nicholas Cage, Bruce Willis, and Vince Vaughn) go in search of the elusive Treasure of Piso
Mojado - a rich chest of gold coins sunk with a Spanish Galleon!

After a gripping 90-minute expository sequence featuring the lives, hopes and dreams of our heroes, they ultimately team up to risk the briny deep in search of treasure!

In the first action scene, Nick Cage dives - and is killed by a massive Octopus!

In the emotional heart of the movie, Vince Vaughn dives - and is killed by a massive Octopus!

In the startling conclusion, Bruce Willis fights the sea alone - but is killed by a massive Octopus!

The audience will be at the edge of their seat to learn the final number of coins everyone brought up.

And imagibne all this, filmed by Tim Burton in gripping high-contrast black & white! High action, high concept AND high art!

Seeing as there are 2 Q-bert pitches(DAMMIT), this is my other game-movie pitch:

We see a darkened pathway with a light at the end. The camera begins to slowly make it's way down the hall and cheering starts being heard. Soon the cheering climbs to a loud roar as the camera shows we have entered an arena. The camera pans around the wild crowd, the spectators are cheering excitedly. Soon the camera pans to one side of the arena, we see a very obese, yet disturbingly voluptuous opera singer. The crowd goes wild. Then the camera pans to the other side of the arena and we see a very demented looking snowman, grinning sinisterly. Then the screen goes black, then we see the logo for the film and the announcer speaks: "CLAYFIGHTER! Coming Soon. A Pixar film. Directed by Uwe Bolle"

I want to see Klonoa adapted as some sort of film. It will be cutesy and funny and loveable and then the ending will come and

EVERY HAPPY MEMORY KLONOA HAS IS PREFABRICATED AND NOW THAT HIS JOB IN THAT WORLD IS DONE HE IS SUCKED BACK TO HIS OWN DIMENSION AS HE CRIES FOR HELP FROM HIS BEST FRIEND WHO IS HELPLESS TO SAVE HIM.

fin.

so many children will be broken by this film.

Duke Nukem:

Picture it, a borderline retard, but oh so American, fighting aliens who are planning to invade Earth. He visits a few strip clubs, fights some aliens there too. Bam, we got a franchise. It's what every red blooded American wants, blood, guns and tits.

(I do not support a Duke Nukem movie as it would be shit, however chances are it will be made as Hollywood is a bunch of ass hats who have officially run out of ideas.)

PICTURE THIS:

PONG: The Reckoning, Directed by Michael Bay

Backstory: the Earth's main power supply is a giant game of pong with the power turbines moving constantly to keep the power ball continuously moving to give off energy. It doesn't make much sense, but that doesn't really matter.

The movie starts off with the mysterious ball of pong being stolen by an unseen source after a series of explosions knocks all the high-tech security off-line. The President of the United States (Method Man) calls his best agent, Allan Atari, to investigate the robbery, played by Nicholas Cage.

This leads Allan on a wild journey across the globe to retrieve this mysterious pong ball. After near-death experiences in places that blew the fuck up, his chase leads him to Japan to speak with the Master-sensei and creator of Pong, Hideo Matsukawa (Chow Yun-Fat, playing a stereotypical wise Japanese man). Hideo tells Allan that he must find the pong spirits within him, if he truly wants to find what he is seeking. As he says this, however, Hideo explodes after assassins catch up with Allan. After many failed attempts, Allan finally comes to peace and sees the spirits of the two pong bars/turbines. One of them is a jewish bar with a large nose who often complains about his wife (Woody Allen). The other is a black bar with an afro and a fried chicken leg in one hand at all times (Anthony Anderson). They provide for comic relief and some elightenment, too! Allan still needs to find the spirit of the pong ball, though.

After searching and more explosions, Allan finally discovers through a chain of clues where the pong ball is, but it's secured in a spot that is apparently fool-proof. That's when the evil mastermind behind it all reveals himself. TURNS OUT IT'S NONE OTHER THAN THE PRESIDENT. He tells him of plan of the world going without power and that it will make him rich or some other stupid shit that makes no sense. Anyway, his guards almost beat Allan to death, but just before, Allan channels the spirit of the Pong ball, played by Carmen Elektra (the role was originally offered to Julia Roberts, but she somehow declined). They share a make-out scene and she possess him and helps him kill everyone else. The rest of the film is Allan running away from the building as it explodes.

Credits roll, but then you see the President come from out of the rubble... TO BE CONTINUED?

*StarSweep In*
A lone Mrs. Pacman (Played by Kirsten Dunst) is seen crying in a dark room. A flashback(In a Sepia tone) shows 4 monsters (later to be described as ghosts) kidnap her husband (Played by Harrison Ford) in revenge for their earlier defeat by Pac-man's hand... or mouth i guess. But now the ghosts are back, meaner and angrier. With the power of the Power Pellets, Mrs. Pacman takes revenge on these ghosts to save her husband.

Sounds intense no?

Don't worry though, she does take the time to chill out and eat fruit on many occasions.
*starsweep out*

A long time ago, in a kingdom far, far away...

Young Prince John is destined to marry the lovely Princess Kate and become the king, but his wicked stepmother has imprisoned sweet Kate in the castle tower and banished him to the gem mines to keep him from his destiny. Little does she realize that he can see and move the legendary 'soul jewels.' with each set of three or more soul jewels he alines and releases, the more powerful he becomes. So begins his quest to release a powerful enough chain reaction to bring down the castle and rescue his princess!

Coming this summer, a new feature animation, based on the hit PC game, from Disney!
Bejeweled!

Metal Slug by Steven Spielberg

Gritty tale about team of veterans led by Marco Rossi (played by blond Christian Bale) try to take down an evil tyrant - Saddam Hussein look-alike (played by resurrected Raul Julia).
Lots of shaky camera shots and "HEAVY MACHINE GUN" screams.

P.S. They win.

Mine became something too big to post.

So, I'll just post the first two paragraphs.

Balloon Fight

The movie begins with a plane flying over the Pacific destined for a tropical getaway. Onboard the plane
is a Father, Mother, son, and two daughters. The mother and father are having a heated argument up front,
while the children try to distract themselves, the brother with his human cannonball toy set, and loud squeaks and soft thuds are heard from the back where the two younger sisters are attacking each other with their balloons. Momentarily, a forest of tentacles rises up out of the water and hurls the plane into a cliff face. The father wakes up to find himself the lone survivor of the crash, and looks out to see that the tentacles out in the water are fighting with each other. One distinctly brighter group is struggling to stop the lunges of the other, which is trying to crush the remains of the plane. The part of the tentacle creature protecting the father takes a hold of the man and instructs him that it can revive his family if he ventures into its consciousness and destroys this rogue evil that is slowly consuming it.
The man, dying himself, readily agrees. He instantly finds himself dressed in the garb of his son's toy
with two balloons tied to his back, gliding lazily across a world of tiny grassy platforms floating above
a giant clear sphere of water. In the center of the sphere he sees a small ball of tentacles, held in
place by numerous chains sent out in all directions. He looks away just in time to not be crushed by a
garish long-nosed creature. He sees it dip low to the water and narrowly avoid being swallowed up by an
eager fish. He notices two crusty air sacs rising from its shoulders, and instinctively flaps over to and above the creature and sets himslef to crushing them with his feet. The creature lets out a deafening roar of pain, before the man kicks it into the ocean for the fish. He proceeds to dispose of others,
occasionally looking down into the water to see that the fish are ferrying them down and feeding the tentacle ball. Ocasionally, small stormclouds fire bursts of electricity at him but he grows accustomed to avoiding them rather quickly. Just as rapidly as he gets into the rhythm of fighting the indelible creatures. Before he knows it, there are none left. He looks down to see that the tentacle ball has multiplied in size and it has now freed itself from its restraints.

Title: Punch-Out

The W. V. B. A. World Circuit is tough, especially if your Little Mac (Ray Park), the latest boxer to enter the world class boxing circuit. Ridiculed for his short stature and lack of boxing experience, Mac has a lot of spirit and determination. Upon entering the competition he is paired up with the sassy, chocolate and Club Nintendo loving, but always tough Doc Louis (Chi McBride). Doc Louis teaches Little Mac to "Dance like a fly and bite like a mosquito" and chase after him on his bike to make him faster, stronger, and notice little subtleties in his opponents to bring them down. Working up the ranks against competitors like the weak Glass Joe (Nicholas Cage) and Von Kaiser (Daniel Day Louis) the cocky German, all the way to the top tier opponents like the hulking King Hippo (John Goodman) and their leader and champion of the ring Mr. Dream (Mike Tyson). Can Little Mac overcome the odds and beat his opponents to achieve his ultimate glory of boxing champion? Find out in Punch-Out!!

I followed Bricken here from his column at ANN. Here's my two-cents.

At the edge of the galaxy, mankind's greatest challenge begins. A secret cabal constructs the ultimate weapon; the living battleship, SINISTAR. As the hero rushes from system to system hoping to find the weapon before it's completed, his female on again/off again love interest seeks the man who designed it and the only counter, the Sinibomb. The movie races to a climatic showdown as SINISTAR activates, and decides to pursue it's own agenda of destroying everything, declaring "Beware I live! I hunger!"

So... using the words explosions, Michael and Bay is comedy now? everyone who has made fun of his stuff for being stupid and cookie cutter is being cookie cutter and stupid by using him over and over and over for comedic effect.....

Since the beginning of time, man has struggled to coexist. Countless wars and fights have been created for both good and not so good reason. Finally, the powers above have decided to throw reason and purpose out the window and give two warrior's extremely large skewers to determine who will get the most points, which in turn, will not matter at all.

Introducing...Joust, The Movie. Where two warriors duke it out with no purpose or representation of good or evil on these comparatively giant ostrich like things and just run into each other until...POINTS!!!

It's tough entering the medical community. But it's even tougher when your last job is plumbing! A heartwarming Dramedy starring Bob Hoskins, as a man who is shunned by his colleagues after he became famous for being a rookie doctor who accidentally found a cure for Aids, Cancer, and the Common Cold.

Will he be able to find acceptance in his community? And will he be able to cure the new, unknown disease that has infected his brother (John Leguizamo)?

Dr. Mario, a Steven Spielberg movie.

Just saying though....

Maniac Mansion - the Movie

Tits, Tentacles, Maniacs and a Mansion

written and directed by Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell.

Can a bunch of kids save the world by surviving a house filled with nothing but useless junk, and stop Dr Fred his Nurse Edna Weird Ed and a tentacle from destroying the earth?

Exploding hamster scene? Guaranteed media gold. Free publicity!

Killer soundtrack (since the game is all about the rock) with all songs written by Matt and Trey from South Park?

Box Office Gold!

His parents were highly trained international spies. But Brock Burger (Brad Pitt) always had a different dream. And despite his parents' shame, he opened a restaurant and was in contention for the coveted prize of Best Hamburger in America, thanks to his patented ten-foot-wide Mega Burger and product placement from the Zagat Guide.

But when international villain The Doctor (Tom Baker) unleashes his killer nanites in Brock's restaurant, he is caught in a nightmare world of sentient, killer, shape-shifting, undead pickles, fried eggs and more. His only hope is to crush them from above with the pieces of his Mega-Burger, or to use his limited supply of the only substance that can immobilize the nanites: the piperine found in powdered piper nigrum (aka black pepper). All he has are his wits and the help of his hapless sidekick/comic relief/love interest, Sue Chef (Amy Adams).

Will the skills Brock learned from his parents (Hugh Jackman and Jamie Lee Curtis) be enough to defeat the Doctor's nanites? Will Brock's parents be able to stop the nefarious Doctor in time? Will Brock and Sue find true love as they battle the zombie pickles? Can Brock, despite all odds, win the coveted Best Hamburger prize from the highly-respected Zagat series of travel and food guides? Find out this summer, in...

BURGER TIME

(with theme song and special cameo appearance by M.C. Hammer.)

--chapka

Aaargh!

On the one hand, I'm honored to have my suggestion turned into a Friday contest.

On the other hand, after writing that entry, the Burger Time theme music is now stuck in my head and probably will be all day.

Dooba dooba dooba dooba DOOT doot DOOT doot doodle doodle doodle doodle...

Come to think of it, it's practically a Danny Elfman theme already.

So there's this kid, right? He's a loner, wears leather jackets. Maybe Chris Pine if he isn't too busy. Anyway, there's a mysterious game at the local video arcade, and this girl (Emma Stone) who secretly loves the Kid gets sucked into it, so he goes in after her and faces an evil and incredibly convincing CGI giant head voiced by Nick Nolte, or James Earl Jones. Ooh! I got it! Christopher Lee!

Anyway, The Kid (DJ Qualls?) can transform into different guises, like a fly or a guy with a ray gun. He goes by the name of...SEGA PRESENTS KID CHAMELEON! (yes, that has to be the title. They’re fronting this, aren’t they?)

It’s Money in the bank. Let's greenlight this shit and go get wasted.

Follow the exploits of a small...strike that...regular sized housefly...no...ALIEN! Yeah! An alien. His job? To eat at an energy shield, and shoot down another to get at a cannon that looks strikingly like another bug. The cannon is not without it's own defenses, however, and our Housefly/Alien mashup mutant will have to dodge not one, but two missles AT THE SAME TIME!!! If only the cannon (belonging to the evil Razak aliens) hadn't destroyed this young alien's homeworld (presumably covered with filth loving flies like himself), he might let them be. But, he can't. His name is Yar...this is his revenge.

YARS' REVENGE...coming soon.

Here's the pitch, and I don't care if it's been done before.
Donkey Kong, directed by Peter Jackson.
It's going to be a prequel to Super Mario Bros., starring James Gandolfini as Super Mario and Lady Gaga as Princess Peach. Donkey Kong will be entirely CGI.
The plot will be exactly like Die Hard, only with a monkey throwing barrels. Example: Mario is going to walk barefoot on broken glass while Donkey throws barrels at him.
After the credits roll, we're going to be set up for the sequel, as we'll see Sammuel L. Jackson in the role of Luigi. They're a pair of brothers from different mothers will be the tagline.

Okay I want extra credit for choosing a game not chosen yet, actually searching the page first. And damnit, the one I liked most had a sequel with a plot (Skate or Die!)

So. After that, I decided screw it. Here we go:

First of all, I WANT this movie directed by Micheal Bay. Yes, I do. You do, too- just see.

Rahim grew up on the mean streets of Tehran. His "family," a rag-tag bunch of revolutionists/orphans (you see how I'm throwing in the current events and oppressed people? Oscars here we come.), are worried about their "sister" Neda. She hasn't returned from her latest fact-finding mission/report/whatever. One of their contacts informs them that she's being held somewhere, a secret lab kind of place. They plan to bust her out.

Rahim and the others arrive at the lab only to hear a classical scientist to manacled-on-a-table-below-a-laser-beam-"test subject" give a long speech on how they're going to turn her and the other prisoners (pan to big cell on side of lab)into human bombs. As he turns on the laser Rahim jumps in the way to protect her while his family destroys it and kill the scientist. The result: he sees her die, and Rahim is affected himself. Military types rush in. He escapes but the rest of them are caught. He hides in the desert thinking he's going to explode.

After realizing that he's not a bomb, Rahim finds that the arm he covered Neda with can now throw with superhuman strength. Also, whenever he throws something, it explodes. The government sees this via satellite.

We then have a good half hour of government trying to catch him/him trying to rescue his family. There are lots of explosions and running. Lots of explosions. So many.

In the end, he destroys the secret lab and rescues his family. We can even make Neda not really dead and they fall in love. Or we can have her be dead and talk about how deep that is. Hollywood's funny like that.

My horrible idea:
BOOM BLOX, the Movie.

The funny part is boom blox the game was made by spielberg.

Prepare yourself for... Rampage: The Movie

Three scientists, working together in a private lab to crack the DNA code once and for all, discover a way to make DNA mutable instantly. When an accident occurs, the trio are transformed into GIANT MONSTERS that immediately start to wreak havoc in their city.

Buildings are destroyed! Tanks and jets are no match for them! To humanity's horror, the three monsters move on from city to city, completely destroying each one in their wake!

Fortunately, at different times for each monster, their DNA rescrambles to normal, and they're reverted back to human form, only to be eaten by one of their former comrades... until only one remains!

Can their lowly lab assistant (played by some Disney Channel teen star trying to break out from their teen star identity, but who's also a singer who can perform the theme song) discover how to cause the remaining monster's DNA to recode itself before every city in the world is destroyed?

Of course, chances are, whoever produces and directs it will want to redesign the monsters to "take advantage" of today's CGI.

Picture this one:
In a world different from what he knew, one man struggles to survive among the animals. Giving it all he's got, he indulges in a series of events to prove his worth to the community. Only one thing stands in his way. The watchful eye of village leader Tom Nook. This summer, prepare to "cross" over into a world unlike your own. Animal Crossing.
We'll CGI it and get Billy Crystal to play the lead character. James Woods will voice Tom Nook and the mayor will be voiced by Mickey Rooney. I tell ya, its money waiting to happen.

Are you ready to...

Punch the Monkey

Vin Diesel plays the down on his luck Millionth Viewer, who after defeating an mischievous monkey finds his life turned upside down as he's showered with free PS3s, iPods and free meals at Applebees. Along the way he meets several sexy singles in the PHOENIX, AZ area.

Congratulations! You're a winner!

A motorcycle loving teen,(played by Shia LaBeouf) is detirminted to beat his older brother(played by Ashton Kutcher), a cool cat who owns a F-1 car, in a grand-prix
race. Their deadly confrontation leads to a battle for first on some

DANGEROUS CURVES

Well, obviously for Burgertime there is already the 3 tenets http://churchofburgertime.com/Tenets.html

at
http://churchofburgertime.com/

"Atari 2600 Pac-Man: The Movie"

Pac-Man is transported into an alternate version of his world where not just the maze, but EVERYTHING is shaped at a 90 degree angle!!! As his friends called him PM, he struggles to cope with his different chiseled body and new diet of little rectangles! Every sound he hears is also radically new and generic! Plus, learn how emasculating it is to the Pac-ster when he's now slower moving than ever!!! It's a psychological thriller that will take you to places that never bored you before.

Tag line: Something ain't right in Pac-Land.

Starring:
Vin Diesel as Pac-Man
Steve Buscemi as Inky
Michael Madsen as Blinky
Quentin Tarantino as Pinky
Cheech Marin as Clyde
and Megan Fox as Ms. Pac Man

Directed by some Japanese horror director.

Bubble Bobble: The Movie

Directed by: Nick Cassavetes

Staring:
Bubblun: John Malkovitch
Bobblun: Jeff Goldblum
Final Boss: Will Arnett
Osoma bin Landen: Himself (thru the use of newsreel video)

Info:
A live action movie with the actors in costume.

Rated R for Violence, Language, and Nudity

Plot:
Bubblun and Bobblun are kidnapped by Al-Qaeda, and they have to blow their
way out! As the two lizard (dinosaur? dragon?) twins pop their way past the gaurds, they make their way to the Final Boss, a cute Orange-ish Green thing that shoots red bomb-looking things out of it's mouth! The twins win, but Bobblun is killed! When Bubblun finds Osama, Osama tells him he knows how to bring Bobblun back to life, but Bubblun kills him anyway, and presses START+SELECT and restores Bobblun! The End

All the Marvel characters who matter are attending the big social mixer at Xavier's Institute for Foxy Co-ed's and everyone's a bit tipsy. Reed Richards is trying to score with this one chick, so he whips out this invention he calls the inter dimensional rifter, and the fucker accidentally activates it! Next thing they know there all standing in Raccoon City surrounded by zombies! All the sudden Richards head just fucking explodes, brains and elastic flesh everywhere, they all turnaround to see Jill Valentine, shotgun in hand with a unmistakable smirk on her face,flanked by Mega Man and Ryu. "oops, yall so ugly, I cant tell ya apart from the zombies" Then Roll shows up, the cute girl as a gun to MJ'S head. "That it, Spiderman says "now it's personal, my spidey sense is detecting an ass wooping" So begins Marvel vs Capcom:The movie

A beaten down Las Vegas Card shark has lost everything. His wife took the his children and left and he drinks himself into a stupor every night. But when a bookie threatens his family if he doesn't pay back an old Debt, This shark must clean up his act and enter the most dangerous underground card game ever in order to save them. This summer. His greatest enemy is himself.....

Zachary Quinto in:

SOLITAIRE: THE MOVIE!

Dance Dance Revolution: The Movie

Its just another generic dance movie. New girl in town, meets rough and tumble badboy at local arcade, playing DDR no less. Fluff the rest up with whatever happens in dance movies. It'll kill at the box office.

I was going to suggest Custer's Revenge before I saw that someone else had. Come on people, there is no more wildly inappropriate a game than that!

THE SIMS

You build a house. A family moves in. Neighbors drop by. Shit goes down.

Worms: The movie

A bitter war has raged for centuries between the powerful empire of the red worms and the rebellious underdogs of the blue worms. General Squirmy (Hugh Jackman) leads a group of the best warriors from the blue team. These include his dark and brooding sidekick Dark Knight (Jack Black and Seth Rogen alternate in this role from scene to scene), the wisecracking jokester (Keanu Reeves) and the spunky bazooka wielding love interest (Megan Fox clone #7). They face off against the evil king of the red empire (Zac Effron in a sinister goatee) and his son, the prince (Michael J. Fox, because really no matter how old he gets, he still looks like a kid).

Michael Biehn berates Cpt. Olimar, Nick Frost, after he losses a shipment of pikpik carrots to a giant space bunny. Olimar misjudges his trajectory causing his ship to break up in the poisonous atmosphere of a planet. The native Pikmin tribes help Olimar search for his parts and he helps keep them safe from monsters. Good pikmin die, they get lost, and Olimar begins to run out of air.

Will they rebuild his ship before he dies? Will Michael Biehn dock his pay for the cost of the lost spaceship when he never returns?

Pikmin: the Movie

It was bound to happen: THE SIMS: THE MOVIE

WATCH how they ponder decisions: "play with the computer", "choose a boring job",...
SEE thrilling events like someone breaking in, or a fire starting, while you can do nothing about it.
CELEBRATE when they kiss, and suddenly a child appears
WEEP when that same child gets sent to military school because of negligence
LIVE a life just like your own, only two hours long, knowing that when the movie ends, you'll be doing just the same.

Frankly,I think I deserve to win just due to the fact that I'm the only one on here who came up with a movie based on a game for the Odyssey 2. Do any of you even remember the Odyssey 2??? Do any of you know the pain of being too poor for Atari?? I would have fucking KILLED for an Atari or a Colecovision...instead I had the crappy game console my grandpa won in a card game in the back of a tire store(thats also where I got my first stereo,but it was kick-ass so I cant complain about it). Fuck the Odyssey 2...I'm gonna go cry in the corner now =(

Zork

The entire movie will be subtitled, actually the entire movie is just one giant series of text, but updated with the newest fonts.

Than with the dvd special features can be to see the movie in different fonts over 1000 fonts to view it in. The commentary will be even more text, think about text on top of text genius.

PITFALL: THE MOVIE

Starring Bruce Campbell as....the Pitfall guy
Co-Starring Tia Carrere as the generic love interest chick.

The Plot:
Bruce Campbell must go on a jungle adventure to save humanity from a fate worse than death! He swings on vines, leap-frogs alligators heads, avoids opening and closing sink holes and jumps over scorpions and snakes!
(The trailer: The song "Lux Aeterna" played to scenes of Bruce doing his jumping and swinging to a narration by Peter Cullen)

Check and Mate.

Pitch to studio: Any tower defense game.

What have we [as Hollywood ] been trying to do all these long years for summer movies? Make a story with the most explosions you can fit into 2 ½ hours! Explosions test well and sell even better! Think about it gentlemen, if we could make a movie that is nothing but explosions and killing we would make millions. No need for wasted time on plot, or character development, or exposition. That has been the dream. I give you the dream made real!

Computer games caught on faster than we did. Their tower defense games are nothing but explosions and killing. Yeah, yeah there is some strategy involved but we can easily take that out! We have more money and power to throw at this than they do.

The basic concept is that our good guys control fortresses that do nothing but fight and hold endless waves of evil creatures. That’s it! One giant fight! Maybe some voiceover at the beginning and end to give the illusion of story, but no more.

Setting: Who cares! We can set this anytime we want. We can spend a bunch of money and go period piece in the middle ages. Or we could spend a bunch of money and go to the future with CG. Maybe post zombie apocalypse, people love zombies right now. Whatever tests the best.

Actors: Who cares! For the best feel we should go live action but all we need are hot looking people that look like they can fight!

Plot: We don’t need no plot! This is about explosions and death!

Director: This will mater. We need a director that can throw away any self respect in the craft for telling a story. We need a director that is willing to blow the most shit up for the longest amount of time. We need a director that will totally disregard directing the actors and focus on directing the action. Is Michael Bay available?

Got it, Super Mario Brothers, the movie. Surely you couldn't mess that up! Oh wait, a painful flashback has just proven that you can mess it up, very badly.

Dog.

Man.

Once symbolic as best friends... no more...

In the grassy fields of Kansas, mans best friend becomes enemy.

Winter comes as the survival of the fittest battle each other in a never-ending onslaught of duck hunting. It's bullets verses fangs, desperation verses mockery.

YOU take the role, in the very first, first person, 3-d IMAX film. What will it take for YOU to kill your best friend?!

Duck Hunt: Best friends no more

Rated R

The Sims

[As read by Don LaFontaine - or, y'know, whoever isn't dead at the moment.]
Four strangers have just woken up in the town of Triplet Falls (no, really). How they got there - they don't know. Who they are - they don't know either. Why they're incredibly hot? It's anyone's guess. But something knows. And it wants them to stay. A black comedy by way of David Lynch, The Sims is an existential farce that attempts to find out what's real and what's not. Follow the journey of four people as they try to regain their lives - if there's anything to gain at all. Starring Ryan Reynolds (because it just HAS to) and featuring Jessica Biel, Sam Worthington (but, seriously, isn't that guy EVERYWHERE) & Paris Hilton in an Oscar®-worthy performance, this film promises to get your blood curdling and your guts busting.

Cast:
Ryan Reynolds as Justin Heras
Jessica Biel as Shea Verpussi
Sam Worthington as Harry Balzac
Paris Hilton as Stella Virgin (For Your Consideration)

[Rated PG-13]. Sorry.

Arch Rivals

A Spike Lee Joint

From the Makers of NBA Jam: 8 basketball bad boys, kicked out of the NBA due to their rugged and very illegal play, are approached by WIDB-TV executive Red Turner (James Caan) to be a part of a 2-on-2 league where anything goes. Watch punches fly, backboards get shattered, and player trip over trash on the court and the nearly blind referee (Danny DiVito)

With Jason Statham as All-American Reggie, Dennis Rodman as tough and mean Mohawk, Ron Artest as Hammer, Vinnie Jones as Moose, and Amy Smart as Pam the cheerleader

I tried to think of an original, non-plot game, but the best ones were taken. So I instead submit my ideas on these plotless games...

------------------------------------------------------
PACMAN: Pacu Man is a troubled Japanese teenager who keeps getting into trouble. After a terrible accident claims the life of his parents, he's sent to live with his uncle in Chicago, USA. There, Pacu makes friends with a strange culinary student (played by hot young wannabe actress/model of the time) who tells him the story of three gangsters who were gunned down in the local orchard and rise every night in order to feed on flesh. On a dare, Pacu Man and a group of boys plan to stay overnight in the orchard; however, once the moon rises high in the sky, the ghosts begin their terrible quest for flesh. Pacu Man must now survive with only the power of supernaturally altered fruit that takes him in between worlds in order to fight.
---------------------------------------------------------
FROGGER: A 3D animated film detailing the cruelities inflicted upon testing animals as well as providing social commentary against war, Frogger is about a frog (voiced by Bruce Willis) that is biologically altered for a hit game show that puts animals through grueling tests of strength, agility and intellect all for the entertainment of their human masters. However, when Frogger discovers that the gameshow is just a front for the development of biological weapons, he fights to take down the corporation behind it and bring freedom to himself and the other lab rats.

I'd have to say they need to make a movie of Star Wars Episode 1: The Game, which, the way I was playing it when it came out was a much more interesting movie. You see, square was lightsaber slash, and circle was the general function button, mainly used for talking. So if you were a little forgetful or clumsy like me, Qui Gon Jinn would walk up to random people at the pod race and accidentally cut them in half, which resulted in EVERYONE in the area pulling a gun and trying to kill you, which considering they went down in one hit, resulted in Qui Gon standing on top of a huge pile of corpses. Now that's a movie.

Sticky Balls: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sticky_Balls

In a bleak futuristic world the only entertainment that the desperate hungry masses have to occupy their time between radioactive shit-storms is the ultimate sport of STICKY BALLS, where two brave, stark naked men face each other in single combat with their scrotums covered with maple syrup, attempting to connect said scrotum with the forehead of their opponent. The loser of each mach is shamed publicly and required to lick the opponent's equipment clean.

Into this world comes a bright-eyed but tough young woman with a dream. A dream to compete. A dream to win. Even though she has no balls, that will not stop her determination. Katie Holmes stars, with appearances by Nathan Fillion, Ludacris and Michael Caine.

Spanky, the teen age loner who's working the night shift at the local fast food joint is in love with the most popular girl at the school. Every day he suffers taunts from the jocks, and every night he must flip burgers for those same jocks, and the love of his life.

One day, through a computer mix-up, a secret formula is delivered to the restaurant, instead of the cooking oil. After its first use, strange things start happening to the Hot Dogs and Hamburgers. As they begin to grow and chase our young heroes, the screen goes black and the title card appears:

MICHAEL BAY'S BURGER TIME

You can predict the rest.

Harvest Moon DS: The Movie

Directed by: Ang Lee

Running away from the big city, a mute decides to start a farm. There are hours of silently watching him till soil, plant seeds, water seeds, and finally at the end of the film he is able to have a successful harvest.

There are also intermittent scenes of him going into town to try to meet people, but they all just humor him because they don't really understand his disability. It's a deep film about how one can triumph over adversity. This is the next Rain Man, producer!

Marble Madness
an Eli Roth film

Pauline and Marcus were a couple of college grads, traveling across the country to start their life together. A wrong turn at a Death Valley diner leads them to the secret laboratories of the evil Dr. Cerny, an insane psychoanalyst who forces human subjects to run obstacle courses like giant lab rats. They are each sealed into an unbreakable glass sphere, and they have two choices: complete the six courses, or die in the ball!

Roll for your life!

Marble Madness.

In stereophonic sound!

I have to add: Zack Snyder directs. Obviously.

N+:

We begin with a ninja trapped in an unfamiliar world. stripped of his sword, and armor, he must traverse a series of dangerous and incredible parkour puzzles revealing flashbacks along the way that provide insight to who our hero was and what happened to him.

One minute ago, in his original timeline back in feudal Japan, our hero was sealed in a cube of traps by his nemesis. In the confusion, the nemesis (a powerful sorcerer) is able to secure the ninja again and cast him back inside the cube.

However, the process drained his power and the sorcerer is easily pulled into the cube by our hero, thus setting up for a sequel.

N+: Step Through the Door Please

Okay, picture this: Take a beloved Shakespearre play and mix it with a contraversial historical based Atari "classic" in Custer's Revenge: A Love Story, retold as a modern day Romeo & Juliet. A movie you can take your date and/or your kids to.
This has the potential to cover more genres, more demographics, and more movie cliches than any movie EVER MADE. It's a western, a chick flick, historical drama, gross-out comedy, action flick, and some slight torture porn rolled into one! Custer's Revenge will be listed on AFI Top 100 lists for centuries to come. Books and college courses will be dedicated to it, and reams of cross-dressing trannies will party to it in local dollar theaters on a weekly basis...oh...you want to know what the plot is?
It really doesn't matter but the gist is Custer shares forbidden love with a comely indian beauty who pines for her taboo soulmate as well, indian princess Pocahotass.
How did they meet? Who cares. Maybe they were childhood sweethearts or half-siblings. It's all filler really but the point is under the guise of racial genocide, Custer fights through many karate fighting Indians at the end in order to meet up and rescue his beloved at the end and make passionate love to her against the pole she was imprisoned on. I would recommend a stirring rendition of Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture, or Snoop Dogg depending on the desired soundtrack demographic. Faking their deaths the two lovers head off into the sunset and escape to Mexico, to spend the rest of their lives together in romantic bliss. Or they could aid Pancho Villa in some wacky mummy-like sequel. In short: 1.Custer's Revenge+Romeo & Juliet 2.??? 3.PROFIT!!! 4.Crappy sequels ad infinitum till your cash cow dies 5.Wait twenty years for series reboot 6.Repeat.

Ghosts 'n Goblins, (or Ghouls 'n Ghosts) starring Gerald Butler. Who is gonna need to get those abs back into 300 shape, since he'll be spending 90% of his screen time in his boxers after his armor gets smashed off him.

The music could be the real star of this one, since if you've played this one for any stretch of time, it's still instantly recognizable...

Plus, after he defeats the last boss, he discovers that was a trick from Satan, and has to go through the whole movie again! Just like that motherfucking game!

VO: "Josh Daniels is your average guy--"

Quick succession of shots of Josh (Ice Cube), accompanied by "Why Can't We Be Friends?": waking him up to his alarm clock, brushing his teeth in the shower, standing in his little apartment kitchen and drinking coffee out of cup bearing the Superman logo.

VO: "When he's not working--"

Shot of Josh, wearing tie, on phone at desk. "Yes, ma'am, well, Technodyne Refrigeration loves you, too," he says.

VO: "He enjoys the finer things in life."

Josh drinking a beer and playing Halo with friends.

VO: "He's single, mid-twenties, 5 foot 10 inches tall and--"

The record skips; shot of Josh on bathroon scale.

VO: "--two hundred and forty-seven pounds!"

Josh groans at bathroom scale. Shot of gift-wrapped package outside Josh's door.

VO: "But sometimes, when you least expect it--"

Shot of Josh getting on elevator with co-worker, accompanied by "Solsbury Hill." "I know it sounds crazy, but I think I'm going to try the darn thing. What have I got to lose?" he asks.

VO: "--help can come--"

Josh standing in front of TV. He holds the Wii controller in his hand and carefully presses "A."

VO: "--from the most unexpected places."

Josh at dinner with attractive woman, who looks warmly into his eyes. "I really think I need a change!" he says.

VO: "This fall, you can believe that one man can make a difference."

McDonalds worker asks Josh, "Did you want to Super Size?" He stands and thinks. "Uhh . . ."

VO: "From the people who brought you 'Are We There Yet?' and 'Are We Done Yet?'--"

Shot of Josh stepping rhymically on and off Balance Board, which fades to title.

VO: "'Are Wii Fit Yet?'"

I doubt there's much I can add here, sadly. Pong has been done-- by which I mean they already made Balls of Fury.

Joust is being tossed around, Pac-Man simply cannot be done better than this, and they already tried Spy Hunter, but it never was finished.

Actually, that does give me one idea.

John Cena versus Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in Urban Champion.

Johnson is a good man in a bad town, where Cena's gangs of lowlifes (who all look identical to him) terrorize the locals, and people are afraid to even leave their homes.

But Johnson will fight for the right to walk the street! Acting under the cover of night, Johnson systematically takes out the members of Cena's gangs one by one, avoiding the ever-watchful eye of a corrupt police force.

And in the end, it finally comes down to Johnson vs. Cena in an all-out slugfest, and in the end, Cena is sent toppling down an open manhole to what may be his apparent death, and the people celebrate as their city is free once again.

Character names and roles pending; we can swap the two out easily enough.

O.K. So I was in a hotel room doing lines of blow off a $3000 a night callgirl, and it hit me what is the most popular game RIGHT NOW? simple the Nintendo Wii, everyone plays that sports game so here is the idea. Wii Sports the mmovie, We get Christopher Lloyd to play the grand father of Dylan Sprouse (or barring that his twin brother) Who give his son a gift of a "magical Nintendo Wii" after his first week at school shows him to be a loser in the gym. The Magic happens when he playes sports and channels the greats of sports to help him in Gym and in life. Think of it Mike Tyson teaches him how to fight, Marc Maguire shows him the magic of baseball, and the williams sisters help him get a killer backhand, (and steal the heart of a cute girl!) Tiger woods helps his golf swing and AMA bowling association's goodwill ambasador Jason Belmonte teaches him how to bowl the perfect game. I'm thinking a disney esque christmas release with action figures, happymeal prizes, and maybe even a video game based on the movie by Electronic arts, what do you think?

Wow some of you people need to learn how to count to 100.


I filed most of these under the "To long couldn't be fucked reading" category.

Breakout: The Movie
Tagline: a movie with heart and balls.
The year is 1982. The Cold War is raging, and nowhere is it colder than East Berlin. For Dieter Schmidt (Brad Pitt) the East German Paddleball champion it’s not just his country which is torn apart, but his heart. A 12ft concrete wall has separated him from his true love, Elsa (Franka Potente). Now it’s up to Dieter to tear down this wall one bounce at a time.

Trust me you make this movie by March you’ll be doing blow off Oscar’s golden ass.

Custer's Revenge
A Kevin Costner film
Budget: $700,000,000

The year is 2056, and general Custer has been resERECTED from the dead, with one single thing on his mind... Rape every Native American women...
There only one thing that can stop him...arrows!
Can zombeh Custer achieve his sick goal? Or will the arrows stop him...and his erection?

Custer resERECTED: Custer's revenge, the movie
Cuming May 19th, 2009
A LIONSGATE picture

Expect to see the official novelization on topless Robot's fan fiction friday sometime in the future.

Pursued by his enemies...

Abandoned by his family...

And on a quest to collect his reward...

One man finds that to survive in a world of ladders and inexplicably floating platforms... he must

DIG

A

GRAVE.

Lode Runner: The Movie.
Suck my brick.

Berzerk

Having reached the limits of his genius, Professor Otto Von Schlechter finally relents to enlisting the brainpower of the other scientists at Ubel Firma industries, but not in the way they expected. He has captured them and removed the parts of their brains that contain their intellect, adding them to the mesh-brain with which he is enhancing his own. The remaining grey matter is used to control his army of deadly robot drones. It is now up to security guard, John Cena(no relation), to get past the drones and energized walls in Ubel Firma's maze of labs before Otto completes his phazed-reality project, making him unstoppable.

----------------------
I had a busy weekend, so I'm hoping you're somewhere that's GMT-15 and can accept this post.

Mickey Rourke is the Mac Truck in FROGGER: The Movie.

I don't have an entry myself - I am voting.
I have read enough. The winner should be
Noah B. for Dig Dug
Tagline: "Can you dig it?" or "Get ready for tunnel vision"
That is pure genius. Wow. I mean, this guy should actually BE working in Hollywood (maybe he is?) because that is exactly the kind of movie I could imagine them making from Dig Dug. Exactly.

OREGON TRAIL!!!!
Your Banker has Typhoid!
Would you like to attempt to ford the river, or caulk your wagon, and float it across?
Your child has died of cholera!
Would you like to hunt?
Starring Jude Law as the Banker, and Christian Bale as the rival banker.

After the amazing success of the first movie, the brothers are back.... and ready to Golf! Upon returning back to the kingdom with Peach at hands, Mario discovers that the castle is being demolished, because Bowser tricked his way into getting the rights to the land! Bowser, feeling such an oportunity would be great to get the princess once and for all, challenges Mario and Luigi to compete against him for the Mushroom Tour Championship. Whoever wins walks away the kingdom... and the girl!