I swear to god this is real. From the product page:
G.I. Joe's secret team of highly trained experts is organized to defend humankind against global domination whenever and wherever theres a mission. As part of the teams special ops, the Joes always know about the evil doings of the Cobra organization before it takes over the world.Given that the massive Joe team couldn't even keep four bombs out of the hands of 10 terrorists while inside its own secret headquarters, I'm not sure how much "G.I. Joe" exemplifies security at this point. Still, I was thinking about getting it myself, but then I remember that the TR home office is underneath the arctic ice cap, and I've rigged the ice to blow. If I ever get a virus, I'll just explode the cap, thus letting the massive hunks of ice sink and crush my compromised computer. Frankly, it's the only solution that makes sense to me anymore. Much thanks to csparks3000 for the tip.
Likewise, Norton is always working to detect emerging threats before they take over your computer. Nortons speed and strength is a smart and ready defense that goes unnoticed but is incredibly effective when it makes a preemptive move.
Together, Norton and G.I. Joe will strike first before online evils do.
More links from around the web!
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I wonder what product or brand they'll go after next... Here are some my predictions: * The Gamer - Lets get more kids in on buying antivirus (heck they probably need it more!) * Transformers - possible slogan: "Transform your computer into a Virus Busting Machine!" * Halo - Kids already using the computer; let's just merge 2 great ideas into one! (oh wait that didn't work, did it?) Well, the Halo one is good if I need my computer to destroy aliens all day...
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Interesting, I`ll quote it on my site later.
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LOL thats pretty funny. Too bad its all marketing. I swore by Symantec products for nearly a decade before switching over to Sophos. Their antivirus is awesome.
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@ IQ Computer Services: When did we start using Topless Robot as the Community Metro free advertising paper? That was an all time shameless plug, buddy.
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Glad to help.
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Glad to help...
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@ Anonymous: That's cause they expect your cheap ass to actually purchase their software. Try looking at professional reviews before you just can something because they don't off freebies to you. That or just keep using Snortin' Anal Virus!
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Saw this in BJ's a week ago, first thing I thought was "Ha... They covered the Lips". That followed w/ why the F would anyone buy this crap just because of a lame movie tie in?
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darkmagician66699 wrote: "There are so many better antivirus programs that are better such as Panda, Kaspersky, Trend Micro." http://www.av-comparatives.org/ Funny, neither Trend Micro or Panda currently allow this independent tester to evaluate their products. Wonder why?
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Just one more reason NOT to buy Norton (as if we needed another reason).
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Norton has improved considerably from what it used to be but it's still a RAM hog and a bloated hunk of software that can be replaced by cheaper and more effective software. That being said, I think this cover art just makes it worse.
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@ Mitch said: Yeah, keep banging that drum and telling yourself that Norton is a great product. They are around still because of name only. The people out there who used the old software only know of Norton or McAfee. Any IT pro can tell you (and I am one for the past 15 years) will tell you NAV blows. There are so many better antivirus programs that are better such as Panda, Kaspersky, Trend Micro. And yes, Norton does suck the life out of your computer. About the only thing Norton I use anymore is Ghost Solutions Suite for imaging PC's.
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I have hated Norton because of the bloat, ccapp shutdown errors, resource hog, system slowness... etc I recently revisited Norton in all its flavours, (NAV, IS and 360). I have to say the improvement is great. Installed in under a minute with new installer and the program seems much lighter. Hardly uses the computers resources. Now I challenge you Norton bashes, (and I was one of them believe me) to actually use the latest (2009) version for yourself. If you still think you hate, then that is okay. :)
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Well at least they tried a creative marketing approach.
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@Matt M. Most of these posters are parroting common belief about Norton products from the past. The current generation of consumer grade Norton are considered best of class as a result of a remarkable increase in performance. That said, this product tie in is pretty silly.
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LOL, anything to make a quick buck. That is just too funny! RT www.online-anonymity.net.tc
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@ Matt M. Use Kaspersky. Works better and sucks less resources from your PC. I use it and love it!
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Semi-off-topic: I guess I never realized Norton was so hated. What should I be using instead?
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They did this the Hulk movie too. I think they are desperate and trying to get all the uneducated customers they can; not realizing they have that market group cornered already. Maybe they think Hulk/GI Joe tie ins will appeal to "the geek market" not realizing that geeks are the ones telling their current userbase to use the superior products of their competitors. They are truly out of touch.
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THis has really bugged me. And TR just quoted it again. When have you seen ice sink? Does it sink in your rum and coke? Did it sink and pass safely under the Titanic? Ice doesn't sink. Water expands when it freezes (opposite of most substances) and is actually less dense than liquid water. There would be no ice bergs floating around otherwise. This being a huge point at the end, has been the focus of my bashing GI Joe. I say they sank ice to destroy the base, we all laugh, and they save their money, while I morn the loss of mine to an admission cost.
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...well then.
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Did you see in the movie when Rex was downloading in the bunker he popped the USB in, and Norton program popped up? How fucking ridiculous. Second to Snake's lips.
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avoid norton like the plague, it couldnt get rid of a cold in virus terms anyway
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"Given that the massive Joe team couldn't even keep four bombs out of the hands of 10 terrorists while inside its own secret headquarters, I'm not sure how much "G.I. Joe" exemplifies security at this point." Given that I used Norton and recently got a giant computer crashing virus this actually seems like a pretty good analogy.
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This kind of merchandise for a movie everyone will forget a few weeks from now is a bit much.
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@Jinkeez: Zing! Beat me to it. Honestly, Norton is like having a virus.
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People who watch Gi Joe need to keep their bits safe like people who watch Star Wars drink Pepsi and eat, mostly, DauthMaul New Yokers from Domino, damn was it Pizza Hut? For the last few years I've found myself giving up the effort it takes to get pissed at the same shit that's plagued the movies "the masses want to see". There's very little surprise, though still sometimes unavoidably annoyed, at the catchphrases ("GOTTAGETMEONEUHDEEZ!")...This crap has been around since the first teen flick in 1929, it's trend, we gotta live with it; we could choose not to see the the movie, or we could load up and check out the Midnight screening--"what the hell it's GIJoe, why the hell is this line so long? Why the hell is there a line?!" All that aside, put KJ O'Conner in a scene and anything quirky seems to work in that space.
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HEY! Why did my wallpaper just change to a COBRA logo and my PC start downloading porn vids of Duke and the Baroness? Wait, my NAV won't turn itself back on! WHOA! Is that a video of Snake Eyes jerking off to a picture of........Dialtone?! HELP! I CAN'T TURN OFF MY PC! I've been hijacked by COOOOOBRAAAAAAA!
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does anyone else notice they are going out of their way to repeatedly hide his massive mick jagger-esque lips on every piece of advert?
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I think the whole 'Norton' brand is a diabolic Cobra plot to make the world's computers run really, really slllloooowwwww. "Tonight, Cobra shall hog the resources of every PC on Earth!
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@ scott hall: Naw, I just found it funny you said that. LOL!!
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@Rigel Black if its a REALLY sweet Baroness figure i would possibly consider it but it would have to be pretty fucking sweet.
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@darkmagician66699: sorry didnt mean to bring it up again but theres just no other quantifiable means of explaining how shitty GIJOE:ROC is other then invoking the name of the devil himself. :D
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Norton just signed the "Despair certificate". Poor, poor, Symantec, can't keep up with so many better options... What's next? "Buy Norton & get a free action figure"? ... "Buy action figure, win free Norton"? o.O
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scott hall said: GIJOE:ROC is to movies what Rob Liefeld is to comics. OH GOD!! HERE WE GO AGAIN ABOUT ROB LIEFIELD!!!! Please, continue.........
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Notice he covers his mouth? Poor Ray Park...he is ashamed as anyone of that monsterous beak. Don't worry Ray I don't blame you.
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Oh god, I just noticed the covering of the stupid molded lips. That's hilarious.
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The LED lights on the box are annoying as hell.
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I saw this in the movie when Rex aka Cobra Commander aka the Doctor aka Baroness brother and so on was in the bunker downloading the files and fucking Norton Internet Security screen popped up and i nearly fucking shit with surprise at how stupid that was.... That movie was garbage front to back. GIJOE:ROC is to movies what Rob Liefeld is to comics. Completely derivative and oft times just straight almost frame for frame theft of other works, terrible writing poor design and now we can add awful product placement to the list which im sure Liefeld is guilty of at some point in his career(?)
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Saw this in OfficeMax about 2 weeks ago. Pathetic!
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The blackness of Snake Eyes symbolizes the blackness of your computer screen every time Norton crashes your machine. Methinks Hostess should place Scarlett on their Ho-Ho's packaging.
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"Given that the massive Joe team couldn't even keep four bombs out of the hands of 10 terrorists while inside its own secret headquarters, I'm not sure how much "G.I. Joe" exemplifies security at this point." Dude, I know you hated the film, but could you at least sprinkle the word "Spoiler" in front of some of these plot points once in a while? The movie's been out a week and I hoped to see it. Gaaa!
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I mean, ice density. Fuck grammar and fuck the gi joe movie.
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I want a Peter Norton action figure!
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The mask lips were such a heinous idea that they're always concealed somehow. And this just occurred me, but doesn't ice float? Isn't ice's density lower than that of the water, an unique exception among all elements? So how the hell the cobra base gets destroyed at the end of the movie?
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This is ridiculous. Whats even better is that Norton realizes that lips on Snake Eyes are a bad idea. I can see the marketing on this: Corporate Shill #1: Lets put Snake Eyes on the cover of our box it will sell like hot cakes!! Corporate Shill #2: I agree but lets cover those molded lips. We want to be taken seriously. Boss: Great job! Now where are the hookers! <sigh>
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They should have had Peter Norton dressed as Snake Eye. Now that would have been pure gold.
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Makes more sense the Transformers coffee holders I've been getting from 7/11 every day for the last month or two.
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Speaking as someone who does tech-support professionally, we're almost all huge fucking geeks but we still don't base our computing solutions on fucking movie tie-ins! Who the fuck is this marketing trying to reach!?
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Ninja please.
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"Given that the massive Joe team couldn't even keep four bombs out of the hands of 10 terrorists while inside its own secret headquarters..." This sounds like it pretty much exactly matches the performance of Norton Antivirus, actually.
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Yeah actually saw it in a store the other day.
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I thought for sure it was some tired Photoshop gag. We live in a damn strange world...
TotalComments: 53
