Wednesday, Aug. 19 2009 @ 8:03AM
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If it were not for public service announcements, would any of us know how to behave? If these time-filling lessons weren't around, would the populations of our cities be extinguished due to drugs and litter-fed mutant death rats? Would the forests burn? Would we eat hot fudge sundaes for every meal? Would superheroes sell out their poor aunties for produce? Would women really be bears? Would prejudice and sexism and homophobia and sadness once again rear their ugly heads, threatening to destroy the serenity of our post-PSA utopia? Fortunately, these aren't questions we'll ever have to answer. For we live in a world where PSAs act as televised moral compasses--teaching us what pitfalls to avoid as trudge our way through this damaged planet. The effectiveness of these messages is spotty at best, but at least they've given us some great pop culture moments, right?
Over the years there have been many unforgettable public service announcements--from the one with the crying Native American who wasn't really a Native American to the one with a fallen children's icon espousing the dangers of drugs in what may have been part of his court-ordered community service. Public service announcements are informative, fun and, more often than not, terrifying. With that in mind, this super-sized Daily List focuses on the most memorable PSAs from the last 30-some odd years. So put your common sense on the backburner and prepare for the nostalgic wonders (and terrors) that await you within.
20) Pee Wee Hates Crack
Crack is whack. Public masturbation? Not so much. The sight of a solemn Pee Wee Herman is disturbing, but not nearly as troubling as the slow realization that life will never be as much fun as it seemed to be inside the Playhouse.
19) Gung Ho Doesn't Judge
And why would he? Gung Ho knows a thing or two about how harmful people's judgments can be. He's had to endure a ton of adversity to become the mustachioed, camo-wearing in every environment, super solider/bear icon that he is today. Yo Joe!
18) Childhood Immunizations in a Galaxy Far, Far Away
The first of three Star Wars-related PSAs on this list features R2D2 thinking he has contracted whooping cough. (It would seem that having a rusty discharge or Space VD are far more reasonable illnesses for Artoo to be worrying about). Since this ad isn't considered canon, R2 and his hypochondria can fuck off. There's nothing worse than a robotic drama queen. I'm looking at you, C-3PO.
17) Thundercats Moralize! Hoooooooooooo!
What misguided fools Lion-O and Snarf are. Don't they release that 90% of all Thundercats viewers are drunken kids? (The other 10% are bitter Topless Robot readers). Way to bite the hand that feeds guys. No wonder your movie can't get off the ground.
16) No One Has Ever Wanted to "Make a Saturday"
Children aren't stupid. Okay, they are, but the average kid develops a bullshit detector pretty early on in life. So when a PSA comes on and begins spewing lies, kids will see right through it. That brings us to this entry that leads viewers to believe that the baseball-playing youth of America secretly dreams of eating perverted looking health food instead of hot fudge sundaes. There's no way I could possibly prove it, but I suspect that the obesity epidemic currently gripping our nation originally began as a rebellion against this ad. Bananas, yogurt and pineapples are no substitute for ice cream wonderment.
15) Parents Who Have Questionable Facial Hair Have Children Who Use Drugs
Along with the eggtastic "Brain on Drugs" spot (which does not appear on this list due to its sheer ubiquity throughout the 1990s), this is the most mocked of all PSAs. Created by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, this epic taught us that if your dad has a porn stache, he's probably holding as well. In terms of catchphrases as cultural touchstones, "I learned it by watching you" comes pretty close to matching the gold standard that was set forth by "Where's the beef?"
14) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Hate Pot (Yet Are Always Hungry)
Wait, getting pizza isn't a good idea? There is never a time when getting a pizza is the wrong thing to do. Clearly, the Turtles are high on the pot (insert obvious munchies joke here) and therefore discredited as role models.
13) Yul Brynner: Anti-Smoking Advocate from Beyond the Grave
Making its debut shortly after Yul Brynner's 1985 death, this groundbreaking PSA helped raise awareness for lung cancer -- scaring the hell out of people along the way. Shocking and a bit ghoulish, the ad is the definitive example of how effective public service messages can be when done properly.
12) R2D2 Knows That Smoking Is Very Glamorous
Clearly R2 doesn't give a shit what Yul Brynner has to say. These robots today think that they will live forever.
11) Time for Timer...and Cheese
Timer was an anthropomorphic yellow blob thing that had an unhealthy obsession with human nutrition. Through his Time for Timer PSAs that aired on ABC, he would discuss healthy (i.e. lame) snacks like homemade orange juice popsicles that suck in comparison to the sugary deliciousness of Otter Pops. The above clip features a Wild West-themed ode to cheese that have you wanting to eat a brick of cheddar or yearning to watch the complete run of Deadwood. Preferably both.
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68 comments
Comments
Gen said:
Alternate list:
Every single Fenslerfilm G.I. Joe PSA parody.
sheshevra said:
half way through; i'll be pissed if the second page doesn't have the one w/ ernest p whorl talking about the big c
sheshevra said:
Pete said:
I'd like to nominate the Saturday-morning "Don't drown your food" PSA. Truly, a threat to the nation's children if ever there was one.
To this day, I still occasionally get that Mr. Yuk song running through my head.
darkmagician66699 said:
And for the record, I'll touch my He-Man and She-Ra action figures any way I see fit!!
Timothy said:
Great list. Seriously one of the best ever.
But it should be called "The 20 Best PSAs of the Last 40 Years" not 30 years, as it goes back to the early 70s. The Smokey ad is from 1973 and Mr Yuk started in 1971, as noted above. Crying Indian has gotta be 1975 or before as I remember it as a very small child.
J.H. said:
No love for The Chomper?
That Yul Brenner ad still scares me like crazy. Lord, if they had made an X-Men movie in the 80's he would've been my #1 pick for Professor X. Just to hear him say "Colossus... come to me!" with that awesome accent of his. I still have album of Gypsy music in my vinyl collection, I should give that a spin...
Sean said:
I was hankerin' for a hunk a nostalgia today, and this was just what the doctor ordered.
Man, that Smokey the Bear ad is even creepier than I remember.
emerson999 said:
Man, things have changed for the better. My generation got a lame 'Obey the code' from lion-o. Kids today get 'a man chooses, a slave obeys'.
"Starman" Matt Morrison said:
Actually, Mr. Yuk has fallen out of favor outside of Pittsburgh, where he was created. It seems that two studies showed that younger kids frequently mistook him for a smiley face and thought that meant that detergent was a yummy drink.
Oh, the irony!
Michael said:
I am speechless that this was left out of this otherwise excellent list. Or am I just too old?
Lonestarr said:
@"Starman" - They thought that was a smiley face? Like George Carlin said, survival of the fittest. The kid who drinks detergent doesn't grow up to have kids of his own.
I'm paraphrasing, but still...
Taffy said:
I'm giving my age away here too but this PSA is voiced by Darth Vader and it's creepy and awesome at the very same time!
Templar said:
God, "quirky" animation from the 50s/60s/70s is just plain disturbing...
Archer said:
To this day I can still tell my same-age friends that I "hanker fer a hunka cheese" and they know what I am talking about. Scary.
JarHarms said:
WHAT.....no GI Joe porkchop sandwiches?
darkmagician66699 said:
@ Michael:
That was one dumb-ass PSA with Batgirl. Horrible....but funny.
The Flash III said:
Did anyone notice the cheese guy saying, "My get up and go has got up and went"? Aerosmith totally ripped him off--he should get writing credit on Sweet Emotion!
darkmagician66699 said:
HEY! Where'd my earlier comments go? THEY YANKED ME!!!!
kris said:
@Michael- he said in the last 30 years.
So yes, you are too old. :P
Dork Loser said:
Smoking IS bad for me!!!! Why oh why didn't I listen to C-3PO?
Skirkster said:
Jesus, Orko is such a douche.
monkey boy said:
what about the anti-drug psa that was kind of an update on the "brain on drugs" theme where a hot as hell rachel leigh cook in a tank top destroys her kitchen by smashing shit with a frying pan? that is by far my favorite psa ever.
Beloch said:
Does anyone remember a PSA with Bowser from Sha Na Na? What a Douche.
monsterzro said:
what, no love for singing pills?
Dirtiest said:
No "Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue"? No mention of that Sonic the Hedgehog, "If someone tries to touch you in a way or place that makes you uncomfortable" PSA? Bah!
tvtastegood said:
Great list. I can say that I would be a morally bankrupt criminal scum bag dreg of society had it not been for the last minute of every GI Joe episode I ever watched. Why? Because now I know... And knowing is half the battle.
Joe said:
I'm not a chicken, your a turkey.
Dr. McNasty said:
Pffft. You Americans had it easy when it came to PSAs. Over here in the UK we had terrifying things showing kids getting run over, drowned, electrocuted, hit by trains, getting poisoned, falling off buildings, even drowing in a huge vat of cow shit (stay away from farms kids!).
Try growing up with these jammed between every kids' show. No wonder we're so paranoid over here.
Bunche said:
What, nothing from Super Friends? I seem to recall a really incongruous one with Aquaman (of all people) talking about bike safety. What the hell does he know about bike safety? He's from fucking Atlantis!
Shawn said:
Drugs and alcohol are both the same.
They make soup outta your brain.
I don't want to be pea soup, I don't want to be potato.
I don't want to be chicken soup.
I just want to be me!
Carl said:
Yeah, I always loved spoiling liberals's day when they'd bring up that great PSA with "Iron Eyes" Cody. They would first be pissed, call me a liar and then get all teary-eyed when I make them look it up on the internet. Hilarious! Take that green-weinies!
Geoff said:
"Guys, have you ever picked up a gal at the bar only to later discover that she was a bear?"
No, but I know a girl who tried to pick up a guy at a bar only to discover he was a bear.
THE PR0F3550R said:
What about the Sonic Sez segments and the infamous meme based on inappropriate touching?
"Kids, there's nothing more cool than being hugged by someone you like, but if someone tries to touch you in a place that makes you feel uncomfortable, that's NO GOOD! It's your body: no one has the right to touch you if you don't want them to. So whaddya do? First, you say 'NO!' Then, ya get outta there!"
http://www.sonicworld.net/site/series/shows/aosth/media/sonicsez.mp3
Church said:
Wow, I still remember all the words to that "Wagon Wheel" commercial.
Mr Wesley said:
Mr. Yuk still creeps me the hell out.
Nega said:
Smokey the Bear is one sick ass freak. That's probably not a mask, but actually skin.
gnawingtreebark said:
Canadian PSAs are all lame. We don't even get cartoon celebrities. Just weird-assed puppets.
There's the one that had me heartbroken that tiny pet-sized hippos weren't real. DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU SEE ON TV. Fuck you, Concerned Children's Advertisers. I wanted to believe.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBfi8OEz0rA
Don't You Put it in Your Mouth? Oh, those creepy puppets.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyl5Mwr84MA
The trap. Creepy puppet mice telling kids not to steal cheese from mousetraps. I guess.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uxn8onmro0E
What to do if you find a needle. Which didn't work at all because when I was a kid I picked up a needle thinking 'Oh no, I better get this needle off the street or some kid might pick it up.' Brilliant.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mf928F1vfRs
A talking TV that tells you to go outside and play?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t44I9MIlNds
Some mushrooms are not for raccoons. "Remember children. Only touch things that are good for you."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDSwXXq6wRc
Batzarro said:
The hell's Orko even talking about? He don't have legs.
Elan' said:
I like how the Jewish faith is recognized in Eternia.
Pj Perez said:
I wish drugs were as easy to find as Peter Weller attests.
Atlas said:
Best part about the He-Man and She-Ra one is the fact that the people they are telling the Kids to talk to are probably the oney who touched them in the first place.
Church said:
She-Ra can touch me wherever she wants...
Nekusagi said:
I just want to thank you for having the common sense NOT to put the horrible crash dummy PSAs responsible for so many nightmares in the nineties on this list.
I read it pretty apprehensively in fear of coming across even a still of those sick demented masks but was greatly relieved to make it to the end of the list without seeing one.
My faith in humanity is renewed.
That said, your list really was lacking in any nineties psas (or at least any I could remember outside of Mr. Yuk).
Johnny Longtorso said:
My Lord, that "Saturday" thing is phallic.
Also, another of my favorite Time for Timer PSAs, this one exhorting you to eat breakfast, whether it's cereal, steak, or an egg:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjnKzIU-obI&feature=related
Dig that banjo.
Samjoe said:
" Iron Eyes Cody may not been born a indian, but he lived his adult years as one,he pledged his life to Native American causes."
http://www.snopes.com/movies/actors/ironeyes.asp
"Nearly all my life, it has been my policy to help those less fortunate than myself. My foremost endeavors have been with the help of the Great Spirit to dignify my People's image through humility and love of my country. It is my sincerest wish to reach the hearts of the people of the world by my Keep America Beautiful film of 'The Crying Indian' so they will be more aware of the dangers of pollution facing the world today. If I have done that, then I have done all I need to do!" Iron Eyes Cody
demoncat said:
good list nic though the title should have been psas that either are creepy as hades. what with the smokey bear one and the mr ick one with that song. and the star wars ones what was lucas thinking to use arto and c3po for they are droids the stuff they were preaching about would not harm them. also surprised cartoon all stars did not make the list.
SamH said:
This will always be my favorite PSA: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyl5Mwr84MA
Jamie Summers said:
Wow, those are some of the coolest PSA's I have ever seen dude!
RT
www.web-tools.us.tc
Kayla said:
O.M.G.
The He-Man PSA? Laughed my ass off. Here's a guy talking about child molestation, but did anyone think about the irony behind what He-Man's saying as well as what he's wearing?
"Hey kids, if you've been touched in a bad way, look at me wearing a nipple harness and fur shorts."
Joe said:
Re: #6
It's a big lie? You mean there wasn't ACTUALLY a native American floating down an industrialized river that just happened to be filmed? And he was an Actor?
Next you'll be trying to tell us that Gilligan's Island was fake, too. You know, Gilligan's Island? Yea, the one with the boat.
Joke's on you, pal.
JiminyJew said:
Ummm...how bout the Chopper PSA's from Austrailia?
Liam said:
Jesus, Lion-o. I wasn't even thinking about having a drink before you started pointing a sword in my face. Maybe you and your furry hog-beast should calm the fuck down.
Scortia said:
That PeeWee PSA is the saddest thing I've ever seen.
Captain EO said:
Nice Spider-Man PSA. Wealth and fame he's ignored; nutritious fruits are his reward.
Erica said:
I gotta agree with the poster who said that UK kids grew up just a little more traumatized than us. While I was watching Tweetie Bird tell me not to run the hot water *first* in the bathtub, my English bf was growing up with (ominous thunder) The Spirit of Dark and Lonely Water:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sg6IVUvVsAs
And since I've moved here (3+ years ago) I've seen some pretty convincing (and nightmare-inducing) PDAs about:
Going 40mph in a 30mph zone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FS5f73EHRhA
Drunk driving
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwSTMsD0U_g&feature=PlayList&p=A5F5C0FF87EF58FA&index=6
And not wearing a seatbelt
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsp-nrf_8KQ
ju2tin said:
This whole list is invalidated by you leaving out the singing pills. You know:
This is serious
We could make you delerious
So you should have a healthy fear of us
Too much of us is dangerous.
No no no NoooOOOOO...
Doctors tell the pharmacy
To give you the pills that you will need
But we could cause an emergency
If we're not taken carefully.
Noooooo, NO!
ian m said:
I remember last year I was smokin some refer and put in Robocop 2 on vhs and his drug psa came on. It made my day.
The Lithumbian said:
I love the Yul Brynner and Cheese PSAs, but I find myself singing the, "...exercise your chompers on some good hard food", PSA a little too often. Strangely enough it didn't make the list.
sergio said:
I learned it by watching you! HA!.
kat said:
I find it hilarious that He-Man and She-ra tell you to talk to your minister or rabbi but say nothing about your priest!
kurtis said:
About number 1. : PEDOBEAR STRIKES AGAIN!
Errute said:
I cant believe the PSA where the Toxic Avengers from the Sat. morning cartoon with the same name tell you to avoid nuclear waste disposal area's didnt make it. I can honestly say thanks to them I never wondered into nuclear waste dumps cause I knew better. Of course, I never lived in soviet russia of anywhere else WITH nuclear waste dumps but thats beside the point
Karma said:
*sigh*
Once again, another Topless Robot list fails.
Why there is no "Sonic Saz" segment about being touched by strangers, or DiC's plethora of sexist "Sailor Says" morals, on this list can only be called a major fuck-up.
Try again.
Josh said:
The best part was the crying indian ad flashed a website at the end.... having been made in like 1975?
Jesse said:
On a related note, Actor Kenny Baker (R2-D2 in "Star Wars") is 75.
leann cordle said:
times have changed and so has psa's well we should go back to when they were animated and happy not the nightmare inducing violence that psa's are full of now.
Timothy Fu said:
I love it! Please post more!
