The Ballad of G.I. Joe Will Break Your Heart

By Rob Bricken in Nerdery, Toys
Monday, August 10, 2009 at 5:00 pm

If anything has made the G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra movie worthwhile, it is this video (yes, way more than my FAQ). It's a Funny or Die song about what the Joes and Cobra troops do on their night off, and it's funny/wacky/zany/whatever. But please check out this abbreviated cast list:

• Alexis Bledel as Lady Jaye
• Billy Crudup as Zartan
• Zach Galifiankais as Snow Job
• Tony Hale as Dr. Mindbender
• Vinnie Jones as Destro
• Joey Kern as Tomax and Xamot
• Chuck Liddell as Gung Ho
• Julianne Moore as Scarlett
• Henry Rollins as Duke
• Alan Tudyk as Shipwreck
• Olivia Wilde as The Baroness

...and more. This is fucking off the hook -- and that's before the cameo at the end, which propels this to the realm of masterpiece. But the important thing is that even if you liked Rise of Cobra, you can't look at this list and honestly tell me the G.I. Joe movie wouldn't have been 1000 times better with this cast. What could have been! The mind boggles. Hell, I can't even read the words "Olivia Wilde as The Baroness" without needing to change my underpants. (Via SuperheroHype)

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