By Rob Bricken in
Toys
Thursday, Sep. 10 2009 @ 11:19AM
You're looking at Elmo's Tickle Hands, sure to be all the rage with the stylish child molester who's looking for an easy defense ("But your honor! I was just using the Tickle Hands as instructed on the package!"). This isn't just me, right? We all feel there should be some kind of reverse age limit on these things, so you can't buy them unless you're under 6 or so, right? Shudder. And yet, these things are actually worse than you think; from the product description:
"Now Elmo puts the Tickle Power in your hands with Tickle Hands Elmo! Tickle Hands Elmo are two silly furry red hands that fit right on a child hands. One tickle hand features tickle technology. Press Elmo's nose on the hand to activate. When child touches a surface, the hand begins to vibrate and you'll get fun phrases from Elmo and silly sound effects. The more you tickle the more Elmo laughs!"THE HANDS VIBRATE. The only way these things could be more evil is if they came pre-soaked in cholorform. (Via Entertainment Earth)
Tags: Bad Ideas, Sesame Street
24 comments
Comments
T16skyhopp said:
Wow. There are no words.
Tomb said:
Note the last categorys..
"See All Fisher-Price Sesame Street Merchandise
See All Sesame Street Items
See All Fisher-Price Products
See All Roleplay"
tvtastegood said:
This is an unspeakable horror! Who thinks this crap up? How sick do you have to be to make it vibrate AND give commentary by elmo!
Puffe said:
Wow. a slight over-reaction by the author, perhaps? *Rolleyes*
Karma said:
Pedobear approves of this product.
Then again, isn't there some kind of urban myth about masturbation growing hair on one's knuckles?
If that's the case than any good pedophile doesn't need these things. They can just whack off to child porn all they want until they grow a pair of their own, the natural way.
daveh said:
The wierdest thing was that the LA Times travel section highlighted these in their Sunday new travel item section. Are kids supposed to diddle themselves so they won't bother you during your drive to Grandmas?
xadrian said:
I think a lot of you may have been abused as children...or want to be abused now as adults.
Hatsworth said:
Oh, I think a pair of these are going to take pride of place in Uncle Touchy's Puzzle Basement....
Bill said:
Would it be all right if I got these and used them on an adult...like Kate Beckinsale? Could be fun...
Magical Shrimp said:
I think Mommy might get more use outta these things than the kid.
"Honestly, honey, I don't know where your Elmo gloves are..."
Karp replied to Magical Shrimp:
If I just could turn off the laughter sound, I sure could find a use for those gloves.
comosaywhat replied to Karp:
mommy why does elmo laugh so much at night
BorgQueen said:
I give it 6 months before we see these on To Catch A Predator.
Katie said:
Such delight for all those puppet fetishists out there!
doc_ock_4mugen said:
Somehow the Nimbus 2000 seems tamer than this...
Charlie said:
For anyone wanting to see a slightly less molester-y take, at least I have a pic of the Mattel booth greeter girl from Toy Fair 2009 sporting the very same tickle hands!
http://www.parrygamepreserve.com/images/features/toyFair2009/mattel/general/general7_M.jpg
Snoodle said:
Well that's...that's...I don't know what that is right there.
Spongestar Screampants said:
I saw a commercial for this on TV not too long ago... and I'm still confused as to the appeal of getting kids to touch each other with unnatural vibrating hands.
Getsu said:
I wonder if they're machine washable...
demoncat said:
these things prove Elmo's evil no no bounds wonder what the execs who okayed the things were thinking on lets have elmo form be on fake hands so kids can touch themselves and tickle themselves or each other with they will love it
astrokender said:
Heh. Bet Freud would've loved these.
Capsulesn'Coffee said:
That's about as messed up has Bert and Ernie KY jelly
Lucy said:
Okay, good to know I'm not the only human being who saw these and was immediately disturbed. Whew.
"Tickle Technology"... I really hate the horrors of the human language sometimes.
RenQuixote said:
it's astonishing the way people don't think about these things before they hit the market.
only when allegations of older sisters stealing their you siblings' toys do the masses begin to realize...
