I have nothing to say except: thank you, TR, for brightening my days and reminding me that there are geekier folks than I out there. And I love you all for it.

This was a brilliant contest. All winners and honorable mentions are well deserved.

Yay! I got my first honorable mention!

LJSLarsson, I know we're all friends here, but you have NOTHING to be proud of. I'm sorry if this makes you feel bad, but you pulled a really dick move. This is a contest of shame, and you sir, should be ashamed!

I knew Dungeons and Dragons was gonna be mentioned but wow, nuclear bombs? That's just fucking sick

Great contest! Not winning because my nerd argument wasn't THE nerdiest ever actually makes me feel better. Like I've aerobicised a sweaty geek demon from my psyche.

Nice try, SpiderHyphenMan, or should I say - LJSLarsson's sister-in-law!

How could edgreen86 not win?! One epic nerd battle of a story! Congrats!

I am not ashamed! It's a SERIOUS ISSUE. Or I imagine various furries-in-denial who've long entertained fantasies of fucking Snarfs think so. Just to clarify, I in no way endorse Thunderean/Snarf lovemaking. It's just not beastiality.

@SpiderHyphenMan

I'm afraid I have to side with LJSLarsson. While the movie medium is sometimes superior to the book format (Jaws is an incredibly awful book...the movie is superior in EVERY way) and yes, it CAN help with publicity for a niche market, she was totally out of line for mocking the original text like that. Was her comment an exaggeration twisted in LJSL's memory? Probably not, because we ALL know people who love to consider themselves experts of something because they saw one film that's an abbreviated sequence of events. Sure, you can just go to a movie about a book and enjoy it for what it is, and had LJSL chided her for doing just that, he would have been out of line...but she straight up mocked a series that was the inspiration for a solid fanbase. Where would RPGs as we know it be without LOTR?

Did he overreact? Maybe, but the man makes no apology for what he did. You wear your Honorable Mention with pride, LJSL!

i once beat a freind of mine to the ground for saying that episode 3 was better than episode 5

Haven't we all left nuclear weapons unguarded at some point in our lives, deep down inside?

When you get right down to it, stuff like this is exactly why no one likes nerds.

I have to agree with Monkey.
If nerds did not have the righteous need to be right all the time, we could probably get the "new" star wars fanbase to get along with the ORIGINAL fanbase(I'm an OG). Or Kirkians to get along with Picardians (Gotta go Picard on this one, although I liked the Kirk in the new movie, not that I had anything against him to begin with, I just think that Picard is a better captain.). Imagine a world where all nerds got along, wouldn't that be a really awesome place.
BUT since as a group we are very petty, small, and in need of being right always(!), that will never happen; so this contest can be pulled back out in a couple of years and we can reignite that burning age-old question...
Is it, or isn't it beastiality for two fictional anthromorphs, from a (cheesy but excellent)80's cartoon, to have sex?

I've got to side with LJSLarsson what kind of idiot has never heard of Lord of the Rings before the movies. I had the book as part of a lit class in high school (I had already read the book years before).

Some of these stories make me feel much sadder about the state of the world than FFF does at times.
They also make me feel scared about the state of the military.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who sided with LJSLarsson.

To make the argument that the movie made it more accessible to the general public, many who wouldn't have heard of it otherwise would have been acceptable. After all, many have never read The Great Gatsby, and would have trouble naming it off of the top of their heads. That isn't a slight against classic fiction, it's more of a statement about our society as a whole.

To outright state that nobody would have heard of it without the movie is in no way acceptable. To make such a statement is to lower Lord of the Rings down to the level that houses Inuyasha/Meercat Manor cross-over fanfiction. It's a debase and vile statement that shows an illiterate ignorance on the part of the speaker.

Her argument was bad and she should feel bad.

I dont know if i am proud or ashamed at this point...

I missed the contest so I'll make my short contribution here.
There was this creep who was semi-stalking me for ages and he finaly got my ICQ number (yeah, it was afew good years ago) and he tried to hit on me. I played along mainly out of bordome till we started talking about Harry Potter...
He - the founder of the Israel Harry Potter Fansite, author of many fanfics, articals and lectures about HP and Me - a guy who read the first 20 pages, thought it was written like ass and stopped reading.
At some point I said that I'm not a great fan of Fantasy lit with the exception of Tolkin and Pratchet. He said it's ok because HP isn't fantasy. I was like "wha?" I linked him to the Wiki page and the amazon page that both classified it as Fantasy.
He said it was an Epic Teenage Romance and said both Wiki and Amazon are run by idiots who don't know shit about shit.
2 hours later I black listed him for wasting two hours of my life on something I don't even like enough to have an opinion about.

holyfx is right. A d12 with rhombus sides is the kind of d12 a bitch would roll.

I dont know whether to feel disappointed or relieved for not winning.

Also, Harvest Moon 64 kicked some total ass. I bought it, then it got stolen, so I bought it again years later. I always marry the nerdy one.

Does anyone else find it ironic that so many of these arguments were by folks in the military?

I feel for Gumblackwood and his brother. If Gall spaceport could rip apart a family like that, I shudder to think what the gladiator droid did to those poor kids.

@Wesley Smith

As someone who is still active-duty after 12 years, I can tell you this.....

THERE IS FUCK ELSE TO DO WHILE ON WATCH AT SEA! You would be amazed the kind of dumb shit you find yourself discussing at 0326 on a 12 hour sonar watch! I'm sure it's no different for any branch of service in any location at any time.

Does that explain it?

@ Great A`Tuin
lol
@ GUMBERCULES!
God yes. In militery service there are times where you are so bored you can argue about anything with anyone >.

To theholyfx: you rolled d12 die in a vacuum chamber? Calculated friction? Sounds pretty cool.

...Which is why I'm a dork, and not a nerd (as Milhouse said, "I'm not a nerd!...nerds are smart.")

GUMBERCULES is preaching bibles full of truth. I was a Marine during the invasion of Iraq in '03. We actually spent most of a day trying to re-enact an entire game of Super Mario Bros. 3 in our heads solely by mimicking the music and sound effects. Try explaining that to the colonel.

Years later, as a civilian contractor in Baghdad, I and two other former Marine friends got WAY too serious about Oblivion. I even blogged about the daily activities of my character, Turd Fergusun, the Redguard.

@ Wesley Smith
After staring at the same oil derrick for three months with the same three people holding the same three guns, twelve hours at a time, nerd arguments pass the time. You are on a boat with no fishing poles, beef jerky, corn nuts, or beer.

Same goes for being underway stuck living in a 5" gun mount, having food passed down to you by rope, when you can only come out for half an hour a day to shower. Oh, and I was the only female stuck down there with all the farting nerd-boys. Sometimes you just have to choose a side and go with it.

All of this Snarf Cheetara sex has led me to another question: If Lion-O and Wily Kit have sex is it pedophilia?

BTW: It's not my bag, but you'd be seriously concerned about our nation's defense if you know how many Marines are into Sailor Moon and Dragonball Z.

I love every single person who makes a habit of reading TR... brighten my day...I wish I was joking but I mean it.

@ Brent

I happen to know that GUMBERCULES! has spent many a deployment on Oblivion and Morrowind Shenanigans. I don't know of anyone else who has beaten Morrowind and all of its expansions. And I work for the FUCKING EVIL EMPIRE GAMESTOP! Did I mention he lost his memory card with over 300 hours on it and started over.

Okay, okay. Now that you all hate me, let me just clarify a few things

John: I don't know him. At all. I know you were probably kidding though. Also I'm a dude.

MattK: His mother did not mock the franchise. She called it obscure. All that means is that she was not aware of its popularity. Also he more than chided her, he straight up insulted her.

ShawnPickett: This would be acceptable if his mother was not an old woman who probably had no nerdy tendencies whatsoever as a child. She is not a "moron," just uninformed.

econimo: When somebody says the word nobody, they generally mean "a lot of people" Once again, obscure is not an insult

I hope you all see where I'm coming from.

Well, Lord of the Rings isn't exactly obscure. It's always been huge, it's taught in schools, and the entire modern fantasy genre is based off of it.

And this all happened long before the movies.

If someone says that they never heard of Lord of the Rings before the movie, that means that they don't read books, not that they aren't nerdy.

I'm so fucking excited that I got an honorable mention.. How nerdy is it to be so elated that I got an HONORABLE MENTION in a contest like this? That's some serious nerdiness. Man, but the winners were well deserved. Congrats guys.

Kenny I'd love to talk, but Heroes Live-Bloggin is afoot. Talk to you tomorrow

You had me at "So long story short, 10 thousand rolls of each die..."

theholyfx, I am humbled by your quantification of D&D dice. Bravo, sir.

I'll be damned, I got an honourable mention! Woo!

This time I ever participated in one of these, so I'm pretty happy with that. I definitely need to participate in these things more.

Nice stories though, folks. Glad to know it's not just me who gets into these types of geeky as all hell arguments.

I have to side with the one dude. Batman would so win against Gandalf. And thank you for telling em this because now MY husband and I are arguing about it.

But anyways, My 'Best' nerd argument was with my husband. It started with Warhammer Age of Reckoning came out. I kept referring to my Squig herder a a she, while he kept saying 'No. Girl orks stay home. Thats why you never see them. Well, that pissed me off, so I informed him technically orks are genderless. Because they are fungus. this lasted for like, 4 months of us arguing over this. We even got most people in our local Games Workshop to go at it with us. Eventually I won. then the same night I whooped his ass in a 40k tabletop match with my orks. Victory was never ended on a sweeter note.

Warhammer anon was me. I forgot my name :/

@Frito: I will have to side with you. There is something freakishly therapeutic about those Harvest moon games. And yea, I always go for the nerdy girl to. Or the really super kind one.

Twinkie the Kid is STILL a NAZI!

Three comments -

First, I'm gobsmacked to have won. Thank you, Rob. And thanks to all of you who thought my moment of Nerd Pride was worth winning.

Second, to all of you who also served in the military, thanks. We're all free to be nerds in part because of your work.

Third, to those who never served in the military. Trust me, there are days (nights) when you actually wish you had the chance to get into a nerd fight about something. You embrace those moments when you can!

@Aingeal dar Cathu: It is SO beastiality!

@doc_ock_4mugen: That's something Thundara's laws would have to be clarified for it to count. I mean, Lion-O is still technically a child by age, but when he was magically matured, that was in personality as well as physical form, so by everything but chronology, he's pretty much an adult. Personally, I'd say "yes" because of that, but unlike the beastiality issue, which I feel is cut-and-dry, this has a lot of gray area.

I'm in the Army and I can attest to these arguements.

It was a pleasure to read all the entries (yes I have THAT free time!) Congratulations to the winners and honorable mentions.
I would like (if I may) to give a shout out to other entries that weren't mentioned but I found them enjoyable & hilarious as well, like the TR reader V/s Shaq most devoted fan, TR reader V/s deraged SNES fan who must be on nerves medication, TR Reader V/s smart ass girl who thinks there is just only one Robin (BOY that one piss me off!), The Nerd Jock, the brutal fight over Disney's The Little Mermaid 2, and the married couple who has the argument over EVA TV Finale Vs EVA Movie Finale as a thorn in their relationship.

Great contest!

PD: EVA Movie end FTW!

@theholyfx

I really hope you guys considered submitting that as a paper; I could definately see a few journals willing to publish something like that.

In the early 80's, my friends and I played Star Fleet Battle. One day, we wanted to see if a starbase can be defeated. The problem was this was pen and paper and a chit were used for each starship. There was a paper grid of the ship and it had to be marked off as a weapon hit it.

Of course, it was the star fleet versus the Romulan fleet. The map cover two six foot tables and there were over a hundred chits.

It took 8 hours to complete the battle. The star base was destroyed. However, half the romulan was gone as well.

Is there any Mountain Dew and Cheetos left? LMAO

The actual first question came from the move called Stand by Me. The question was Can Mighty Mouse beat Superman?

Best. Post. Ever.

This is exactly the reason why TR is so fatastic.

Thanks Rob. This is by far the best contest of them all. I enjoyed reading the entries. Made me laugh. It's like the argument I have with my buddy over 80s stuff like MOTU or modern stuff like XBOX vs Wii where no matter how many times I try to tell him it's like comparing apples to oranges, he still bad-mouth's the Wii for being gay and having shitty games.

Man, fuck Virginia Beach. I can't believe a "no profanity" law on a public beach is even considered constitutional.

Wait, wait, wait... judging by all the nerd fights between soldiers/sailors related here and the movie Crimson Tide (sorry, Jack Kirby's Silver Surfer is better than Mobius') I think it may behoove the Armed Forces to adopt some sort of don't ask/don't tell policy when it comes to discussing superheroes/Thundercats/D&D etc.

Kenny after a nice long night of sleep and the stupidity of last night's heroes I have come to realize that you simply aren't looking at it from the perspective of a non-nerd. Just because someone has never heard of a particular series albeit a rather popular one doesn't mean they are completely ignorant of that particular medium. If someone had never heard of The Godfather you consider them to be rather uninformed but they could still very well have seen and enjoyed other classics including Citizen Kane, 2001 A Space Odyssey, and Star Wars.

SpiderHyphenMan ... You do realize that LJSLarsson was arguing with his sister-in-law not his mother, right? Because you appear rather confused on that point.

I argue about all sorts of random things, often enough to the point of bringing horrible personal insults against those with whom I'm arguing. The personal insults in arguments really have no place, so lawyerly. It's just a way to discredit the opposition. If the person is stupid or whatever, then whatever they say cannot possibly be right [not true, but it feels true, sometimes].

Why do we argue for arguments' sake? Love of competition is part of my own personal answer. I also think I know every damn thing even though I know I don't really know everything. It's bad when I get into arguments about stuff that I don't even care about, but then I'll research the topic (which is already extremely mundane) and re-up my "factoid" ammo.

Some of my arguments:

Heated debate over whether or not Mortal Kombat [maybe MK2] had a cheat for "nudalities." I said it was bs, which of course it was.

various video game console specs/sales numbers/costs

Which Batman movie (Forever or B&R) sucked the least.

mike tyson vs. bruce lee

80s vs. other decades and why the 80s was more awesome

family guy vs. south park (south park is way better, fact)

Then there was an epic discussion that I come to a lot, time travel in movies. These are usually not heated arguments for me, but confusing discussions. Back To the Future is the franchise I mostly discuss/think about, well, tied with Terminator.

"Her argument was bad and she should feel bad."

"A d12 with rhombus sides is the kind of d12 a bitch would roll."

"...Which is why I'm a dork, and not a nerd (as Milhouse said, "I'm not a nerd!...nerds are smart.")"

Ahhhh, Topless Robot. It's like a dating site for nerd references.

Due to Tracy's point I hereby retract all statements and you are free to call me a cocksucking ignorant shitface. Sorry Larsson